Are there any other LDS Moms out there?

Leeanne - posted on 02/18/2009

instead of being upset at the play you could maybe concentrate on the force behind it and sugest to your baby to use gentel hand and say in a gentel voice and then it wont be about hurting and bullieing it as  simple no no no quietly and softly so the childs name so they know you are talking to them and ask softly that it gentel hands and then you could take his hand and gentelly touch the other childs face and repeat the words 

Bonnie - posted on 02/17/2009

Jaclynne, if you click on communities, or search them, there is one called Mormon Moms.  Join us there.  Where you are in a branch, somewhere, you could use to have a little sisterhood army to help and be helped by you.  You are a sweetheart!

Bonnie - posted on 02/17/2009

Well. . .let me tell you I have lived it, have teens now, and totally understand the anxiety you feel.  Michelle is right.  You start by praying, for specifics.  Pray that you will know how to handle this, that you will know what to say to the Nursery Leader -because she should know what is going on- and the Nursery teacher.   While it is aggressive behavior, it is completely normal for kids to do this at this age, developmentally.  This helps us understand each child, and parent humbly when we know they are doing just what they are supposed to at their age.  (sometimes when my teens are mouthing off really badly, I either tell them "You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing at your age" and walk off, or I give them a hug.)  Now does understanding them mean we tolerate those behaviors?  Absolutely NOT.   I believe Nursery should be a "safe" fun place for children to go.  They should feel happy to go in, if not just safe to.  If that means another person needs to be called to pay vigilant attention to teaching the child that aggression won't be tolerated in Nursery, so be it.  If being in a branch limits you to one Nursery leader, you, Mom, may have to go in and help.   Rather than saying "NO!  We don't hit."  say, "Let's not hit, kick, bite, push -whatever the behavior- "Brandyn" or whomever was offended, then separate the child from toys and other children briefly so there is a consequence.  If it is during music or lesson, which so often happens, just have the music leader or teacher on board with you to say Let's not, then you or the person in charge takes the child aside, so singing time or lesson continues.  If there is a big reaction, or outburst of anger for being removed,  just talk soothingly and tell them everything is ok, but we just can't hit in Nursery.  At home, I would get down on their level and tell my kids when they were aggresive, "You are such a wonderful boy.  I know you wouldn't like it if someone treated you like that, and you don't want to be like someone who hits or hurts people, do you?"  Let them think, and decide, and even answer your question.  Even small children, depending on their level of understanding, can sense you care, and develop desires to try and be kind.  If the child who is hitting people has ADD tendencies, or is just active, he needs to move more in Nursery.  When I did music in Nursery we didn't sit reverently on chairs, we MOVED!  We danced, we walked with the pioneer children, we actually followed the prophet (his picture), we did BIG movements, not only the little hand actions of some songs, we used instruments, used all our senses, were constantly passing little things around during a song for them to look at, or hold.  Their hands were always busy with something.

Just experience talking, and obviously getting carried away.  : )  LOL!  Good luck.

Michelle - posted on 02/17/2009

After reading your second post you

1. should not let your child play with him especially since the mother isn't taking control of the problem with what you have asked.

2. you must contact the church and let them handle it and maybe not such a good suggetion having the mother sit in nursery, lol. It dosnt seem like it will do much good.

Michelle - posted on 02/17/2009

First you need to pray about the situation along with the little boy and his mom, pray for the little boy with your son so he hears you asking god to show him his behavior is not appropriate and to calm his rough play (you will know what to say better then). You also need to call the church and speak to the right person, the nursery workers are probable volunteers as in my church and they are not going to be able to take action with this matter. You need to really let who ever you talk to know that it is causing behavior issues with your son and if that is the case it is probable affecting other kids as well. However if he is tackling kids this is a safety issue and must be dealt with accordingly the children could be hurt, maybe suggest the Childs mother should sit in nursery with her son as to help correct the problem. I hope I have helped stay strong keep praying and this to shall pass.

Brooke - posted on 02/17/2009

That is a tough one especially with church family. Does the little boy go to school or anyother social setting during the week? Maybe he doesnt get much social interaction during the week? I cant see a daycare allowing this behavior. If this is the case it might be important to make the mother aware. She might not know this is how he socializes. Could someone politly make her aware that her son is being a little rough with the other children and asking if it is ok if he is corrected while in the class? Good luck and pray about it. God has ways of taking care of even small problems in our lives!