Are you an only child, or do you have an only child?

Bree - posted on 02/17/2011 ( 217 moms have responded )

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I have a 16 month old daughter, and it's very possible that she will be an only child. I have a sister, so don't know what being an only child is like and I want to do my best to provide my daughter with what she needs socially (and otherwise) since she won't have a sibling. If you are an only child, or have an only child (and know that you don't plan to have another), can you give me some suggestions for what to consider or to provide my daughter given the fact that she won't have a built-in playmate or a sibling to lean on?

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Pansy - posted on 02/26/2011

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Our daughter is an only child. She hated it. When we were younger we didn't pay a lot of attention to it, but now that we are older we realise we were wrong. When she is older she will have no sibling to share her life with as we have. My husband & I both came from big families. Now we realise how special our siblings are to us. We regret that we deprived our daughter of this relationship. She was determined to have more than one child.She has 3.

Kimberly - posted on 02/25/2011

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I'm with you, Jenny. We have 3 beagles, and it keeps my daughter very busy. It also taught her to share since they were here before she was born. If at all possible, I think families should stay close. The benefits of grandparents far outway growing up in an exotic place. I grew up in Hawaii, with a sister. My parents divorced and I didn't get to see my grandparents. My daughter - an only child - loves being with her grandparents. I have my sister here, and she loves spending time with her cousins. Circumstances are the way they are, and we just all make the best of it. But I agree that lots of love from as many sources as possible, really help in the rearing of a happy child.

Jenny - posted on 02/25/2011

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My daughter is almost 4 year old, an only child and looks like she will stay one. However we are getting a puppy in a few weeks so she will have a "buddy" to play with. Will be interesting to see what happens when the puppy starts taking her toys..LOL I have a sister so I dont know what its like to be an only child but I think your child will not miss out on what they do not have. If being an only child is all she knows I dont think she feels as though she is missing out on anything. She does go to preschool 3 days a week and I also babysit a girl her age a couple days a week so she does get her play time with friends and can share her toys but likes to come home after school and play by herself and not worry about other kids taking things from her or destroying her toys and invading her space. I guess you can say only children can have the best of both worlds.

Goretti - posted on 02/25/2011

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I am an only child and wouldn't have an only child.Although every family is different and every set of parents can bring up their only child differently i think there is no way a set of very close friends no matter how close, will make up for the bond between sisters or brothers and sisters. and even though they fight over lots of stuff they still have each other at the end of it all even though most of them won't appreciate it till they are older. i understand that some couples just can't have more children and i feel for them but can't understand the people that only have one from choice.Financially we are not well off but you always find the money to clothe,feed and treat your kids because its what they deserve.i grew up next to a family of 5 which i spent a lot of time with and cousins who i spent summers and holidays with but looking at my other halfs family i no that no matter bout all the rows etc, they still have a bond with each other because they are siblings.Plus there are lots of things that put pressure on an only child as they get older. decisions bout their own life that would be different if there was an other one to share it with. Me & my partner would love to emigrate to austrailia but seeing as i am an only child i feel like i should be around coz i am the only one they have plus, id be denying them their 3 grandchildren,and if i siblings they would at least have them if me and my kids weren't around. Also we would love to have a foreign wedding but my dad can't fly so i feel like i'm denying him his only childs wedding whereas my partners mum an dad has had the weddings of his 5 siblings already so that doesn't bother him.My parents aren't trying to hold me back from anything but i feel like i shouldn't do these things as im their only child so my wedding is their only childs wedding if ya know what i mean and my children are their only grandchildren.Also there's things like christmas',birthdays etc,like if i we wanted to go to my partners parents for christmas (which wouldn't happen anyway but just for example) then my parents are alone which i think isn't right. Maybe these are only minor things to some but these are some of the reasons why i wouldn't have an only child, i wouldn't want them in my position when they're older.Its not all about when they are young.Hope im not being harsh or offending anyone

Kimberly - posted on 02/24/2011

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I explain that God has made all different kinds of families. All her friends, except 1 have siblings. She has accepted that in her family there is a mom and dad and 1 child. Some families have more kids. Some families have only a mom some only a dad. Some kids are not lucky enough to have moms and dads, and that when they can be chosen to become part of a family. No need for worrying. Good communication is the key to any successful relationship, especially with your children. If you have an explanation, they accept and understand... At a young age you may explain the same thing over and over again until they do get it, but it's the age and they will. That is the joy we get to share when we get to have really good talks with each other. Those are special times for my daughter and me.

Jackee - posted on 02/24/2011

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I HAVE A 9 YEAR OLD SON AND GOT STERILIZED ITS NOT GOING TO BE EASY 4 YOU BECAUSE YOUR CHILD WILL SEE OTHER KIDS WITH BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND WILL ASK WHY SHE DOESNT HAVE ONE AND IT FEELS SO HARD BUT WHAT IVE TRY TO DO IS KEEP HIM ALWAYS BUSY DOING DIFFERENT ACTIVITIES AND TAKE HIM OUT TO THE BEACH PARK ETC ALSO VISIT HIS COUSINS AND LET HIM STAY OVER ONCE IN A BLEU MOON AND TEEL HER ONCE SHE GETS OLDER THAT U HAD ONLY HER SO U CAN PAY ALL THE ATTENTION AND GIVE ER ALL HER NEEDS MY SONS IS UNDERSTANDING NOW GOOD LUCK!!

Liz - posted on 02/24/2011

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I'm an only child and my daughter who is 7 is an only child. I was quite lonely when I was very young but as I grew into a teenager I was fine. I have always made sure my daughter has had plenty interaction with other children and to be honest from what I have saw with some other children who have siblings she hasn't had to fight for my attention and she is not jealous as I have seen with some children who have brothers and sisters, hope this helps

Jodie - posted on 02/24/2011

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Kimberly, thank you very much i also give you the biggest thumbs up !!!! i have never believed that being an an only stops or limits what your child is capable of. best wishes for you, your husband, and your daughter all the best!

Kimberly - posted on 02/24/2011

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Good for you, Jodie! It is not the best thing for your son if you have 2 and you are on your own. Where would the 2nd one come from? That would truly not be fair to your children unless you have the whole package. My mom was a divorced mom, with my sister and I. 2 kids who grew up with many problems because my mom had not the time nor the energy required for us to grow up feeling secure. Issues have since been ressolved, but why put children through that? She has many regrets at not having the whole package for us. Stick to your beliefs. It is the unselfish thing to do for your child, and I applaud you!!!!!

Jodie - posted on 02/24/2011

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this subject makes me cranky and i get all sorts of pressure from family (very detached family) to have another baby so that my very sociable happy 13 mth old may have a sibling ....... i am a single mum to start with WHY have another child brought in to that, my family says i am not being fair to my son it would be better to have another baby JUST for my son sake !!!!!!!!!!!!! this sort of thinking makes me VERY cranky i love my son but i want a family.. THE WHOLE PICTURE!!

[deleted account]

As strange as it may seem, I am an only child, and I have brothers and sisters. I am the only child of my mom and dad, but I have half brothers and sisters. So even though I am an only, I've always had siblings around me. My son is an only child, and it looks like it will stay that way. His dad and I are both older, and while I may want to have another child, so Nathan has a younger sibling, his dad doesn't want anymore children. Since I will be 41 on Saturday, the prospect of having another child is scary, due to the complications and greater risk of Downs Syndrome, etc. So I guess the only child label will continue, which in some ways, breaks my heart.

Vanessia - posted on 02/24/2011

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i have two brothers and two sisters, however i have only one child - a daughter. i love her to death!!! i must say that god has blessed me with a wonderful daughter. my daughter is will be 14 on 9th March but to date i can say she hasn't given much problems. what i did from the day she was born was to bond with her. i use to always read to her, talk her the way you talk to a friend, and tell her stories. even though i know she might not understand, i would talk to her about anything and make it seem so fascinating!!! i use to tell her about the moon, stars or anything you can think of. i also always make sure i tell her i love her. to this day before she goes to sleep she would say 'nite nite mommy love you'. sometimes i would pretend to be asleep and she would wake me and say it again until i respond to her. one night she even mentioned to me how is it that she has to say it first why is it i don't say it first. lol. i would say just be her friend. that does not mean that you spoil her, cause i never did spoil my daughter. if she does something wrong, from a very young age, i would sit her down and let her know that i do not like it. i remember once i took her to the supermarket, she was about 3. she threw herself on the ground and started one screaming because i refused to buy some sweet for her. well i was soooo embarrassed that i purchased the sweet. however, when i got home i sat her down and let her know that the same way she felt about me not buying the sweet for her, that was the same way i felt when she started to scream, and how she made everything think about her mom. she never did that again. to this day if i tell her no she might ask y but she understands. i would suggest to just keep the conversation flowing and always give her a listening ear and let her know that you will not always agree but you understand and that she cannot always have what she wants and that you will only make the best choices for her because you love her.

Natasha - posted on 02/24/2011

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i am an only child and was bought up in a small village with a mum who didnt drive, so couldnt go to any activities. i loved being the only one and think it makes you grow up more confident, when i had the oppurtunity to be around other children i always went off and played and mixed well as i was excited to have someone to play with. My mum always allowed me to have friends over for tea a lot. I think having one child is lovely as you can give them all your time and attention..

Jayne - posted on 02/23/2011

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I am an only child in my 40's. My parents divorced when I was in my 20's and it was not amicable. I now take care of my mom who has short term memory loss, and also have 2 children in high school and a husband whose work requires him to travel. I only ever wanted an older sibling...a brother if possible. Now, faced with many decisions to make on my own I would love to have a siblig to love and/or fight with about the best care we can provide my parents...my dad has resources and other support but I am the oly suppory for my mom and she has limited resources. It would be nice to have someone to talk with about her situation and help with the decision making, but I am it.

Kimberly - posted on 02/23/2011

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Only children do not have to be spoiled. It all depends on the parenting. My daughter will be 5 and is an only child. We have hoped to have more, but it hasn't worked out that way. In the meantime, she has lots of love, lots of toys, lots of friends and lots of discipline. She is sweet, kind, caring, loves to share, and has many friends. My husband and I make playtime with her a priority. It's actually nice, because she feels very close to us and we have a special relationship because of it. Yes, it takes up a lot of time, but you can't get that back once they are grown. She is in preschool, but I make sure she has playdates - lots of them, so she can still experience the joys of being a child. We have house rules, and she gets time outs, so she knows what is expected of her behavior-wise. I get minimal housework done, but if I really need to, I do cleaning sprees at night when she goes to bed. We have lots of fun with her and I really don't think she feels a void because she is our only one. She is special to us and she knows it, and I think that's the most important thing for any child, sibling or no.

Amanda - posted on 02/23/2011

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I have a 3 yr old son and he took a very long time to conceive and although I want another I accept that another may not be possible and count my stars I was at least able to have 1 very special boy. Hubby is and only child, I however am not an only child lol

Florence - posted on 02/23/2011

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Yes, I am an only child and I had an only child. I think making sure that the child goes to school; and has play-dates is very important!! My best friends were the girl next door, who also was an only child; and a girl who lived down the alley from me. Make sure that your child inter-acts with others and learns how to share. Make sure that she is in sports, or dance, and later on, in school activities that she enjoys. If you live near relatives, take her to play with her cousins often. Don't spoil her; always be there for her; take time to play with her; and try not to be over-protective. Get active, when she is older in her school; PTA; and even volunteer in her class-room, or be a room mother.

Danielle - posted on 02/23/2011

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My daughter is an only child and will remain That way. I make sure she has lots of interaction with other kids. Like the park and things like that. Doing gymnastics is another thing we put her in so she sees the same kids often. Doing a moms group helps to because the kids grow together. We also do lots of family activities with my siblings and my husbands family which really helps.

Kristen - posted on 02/23/2011

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Well, I am an only child as my mother couldn't cope with any stresses and still can't (apparently I was the worst kid in the world but I was toilet trained by about 2 and pretty obedient overall). My son is also an only child as I am an older mother (I am nearly 40 now) so I think one kid is enough as I don't have the same energy levels I had in my 20s or even my 30s! Also, the need to have more than one child is individual but not necessary - kids don't need a playmate, they can actually, depending on their personality type, make their own fun and learn to be very independent early on. My mother in law is an only child too, so I think sometimes it can run in some families due to certain character traits, etc.

Jillian - posted on 02/23/2011

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i have a 4 year old girl and i know how you feel you want to do the best thing go to playgroups let her just have fun and interact with other kids her age it does her good in the long run and dont send her to kindergarten if she isent ready to go to kinder my daughter is in a group of 5 year olds at her kindergarten and she is the youngest in her group

Irene - posted on 02/23/2011

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I am an only child. I always told myself I would have more than 1. I know now after having 3, There were some special moments that I did miss out on. My mom and dad did spend alot of time with me, I did grow up in a Healthy family environment. My 3 kids are grown, There is 7 yrs. between my youngest and oldest,one in the middle.They are all very close.They were raised in a healthy family environment. Family time was big in our family.You know your own situation and your child better than anyone else. It really depends on what you are comfortable with.I wish you the best.

Teresa - posted on 02/23/2011

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My son is a only child and he is 16 now. He used to ask me when he was going to have a brother or a sister and I would tell him that I didn't know. I didn't marry my son's dad. I married someone else and I found out about three years into our marriage that my husband couldn't have children. So when my son was about 12 or so, I told him that he wasn't going to have brothers or sisters. He is ok with it but now he wants to meet his real dad because there is a possible chance my son could have a brother and a sister. My son wants to meet them. I know my son feels lonely at times but he has friends that come over and spend the night or nights. My son has trouble getting along with some friends for a long period of time because he isn't used to sharing his room, his space, his time or his things. I try to keep him busy with sports and extra activities. He is part of a several teams in High School but there are days he is by himself and my husband and I try to fill that void of a brother and a sister. But it isn't the same, I know. Your daughter will do fine, I feel that since my son is the only child, I have a better connection with him. We are really close and he doesn't get into trouble. He is a good kid. Good luck!

Misty - posted on 02/23/2011

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I wasn't born an only child. I had an older sister but she died when I was three so i was raised as an only after that. for me it was difficult and lonely i always asked for a baby brother but never got one. I used to write papers even as early as 2nd grade about my sister. so maybe thats why it was lonely for me. when i had my daughter i thought she would be an only child and i worried she would be lonely, i always wanted more but didnt think it would happen so i was surprised when i ended up pregnant with my son. they are 17 mos apart and then when i had him i had a bit of guilt worrying that she was gonna feel short changed since she wasnt the only one anymore. she had a little trouble the first 2 months but that was mainly cuz i had a very rough csection and she had to stay with my mom cuz i couldnt lift her but now she loves her brother so much. i think if you decide not to have another baby thats fine just set up playtime with other kids so she gets the interaction that toddlers crave.

Vickie - posted on 02/23/2011

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I'm an only child & my son is an only child with 2 adult step-sisters that are almost old enough to be his mother. The only difference with only children is that they get more attention from their parents. Only children need to interact with kids their own age whether it's cousins or friends. Take your daughter to the park, enroll her in daycare just for socialization. You'll both do fine.

Lovica - posted on 02/23/2011

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I am an only child, but made up for when I had four of my own, ten grandchildren and nine great grand children.

Judy - posted on 02/23/2011

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I have a 4 year old daughter and she is my only child. I take her to church and she is TaeKwonDo. Plus she has many cousins. The way to get her involved with other kids and to build her social skills is to join a play group, take her to the park if you can and have her play with other kids there as well. That is a great way for her to meet other kids and you meeting other parents as well.

Trisha - posted on 02/23/2011

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I am an only child of an only child, with an only child who is 8. You can grow up well adjusted being an only child, but it is completely different from having siblings. I was lonely, but very privileged. My daughter is somewhat lonely and very privileged. As onlies, we get a lot of attention and pretty much more stuff than we can ever possibly use. It is the only life you know, so what can I really say? I wish I had a sibling to share my family with. I wish my daughter had a sibling to share her life with. But, we all love each other and we are very close, so I try to look at the blessings in it, rather than what is missing.

Melanie - posted on 02/23/2011

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My son is nine years old and his father died last May. He has meds for ADHD and therapy since 5. The one thing that has helped him the most HOCKEY!

Cinthia - posted on 02/23/2011

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My daughter is an only bio child. Until I married my husband 4 yrs ago she was my only child, then in 2009 my Step-son entered our home. So now she is the older sister.

When she was little I made sure that I had her in a daycare with kids her own age. She also spent two years in pre-school before she entered kindergarten.

I was also an only child of my bio parents. However when they divorced I went on to have two older step-brothers, and a younger half brother and sister. However I was my mother's only child. So my daughter gets spoiled by her because she is her only grandchild.

So my recomendation is just to keep your child in as many things that allow her to be around other children. Like others have said, also have playdates at your own home with other kids.

Kelliann - posted on 02/23/2011

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I was so blessed to have my daughter despite having severe Endometreosis .I had to have a total hysterectomy at 32 yrs old.My Renamarie is 10 yrs old and since she was 18 months old i have had her in any classes through the park district i could find to socialize her and be around children We did mommy and me classes,Kindermusik,art classes.I didnt start her in prek till 4yrs old only because of selfish reasons but,she would have went in a minute .She is very out going and wonderful.I have one brother and we are close but,there are people who have siblings that they dont even care to see and never were close.So my experience is i always worry ,ME,about her because she is My only child.As for her,she is a well adjusted young lady.

Ebonie - posted on 02/23/2011

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I am an only child and had a great upbriniging. My mother made sure that i had plenty of activities to keep me busy. Then when I wanted someone to play with or thought i was feeling lonely she would have my cousins come stay with me or send me to them. Honestly only children can be well adjusted and social if you put a little effort into it. They can also be very secure in themselves because of the time that they have playing alone it gives a person a chance to figure out who they are and what they like.

Julie - posted on 02/23/2011

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Worry not! I have an only child and there are pros and cons to any situtation! All the suggestions for playdates and other avenues of making friends are wonderful. My son goes to preschool 3 days a week for about 4 hours a day and has a lot of fun and makes lots of friends. No matter if you have 1 or 10+ kids it is always important to stress the importance of fostering and maintaining good relationships with friends and family (be they siblngs cousins or other extended family) as they will be there for you when times or good and most importantly when life gets rough. Also to stress gratitude for what you have not for what you don't! And you can't always know that even if a child has a sibling they will get along and be supportive of each other in the first place. Sibling relationships are great but sometimes they aren't and you can try your best to foster great relationships between siblings but sometimes it doesn't work out. The idea that only children are somehow more likely to be selfish is just a myth. I have talked to plenty of preschool and elementary school teachers and they will tell you the only thing they see more often (and only moderately so) in only children is they are a bit better at playing by themselves and occupying themselves - they aren't so reliant on others for fun. And that isn't such a bad thing IMO. And they are just as social as any other kid. It is just as possible to have a kid come from a huge family, feel the need to horde toys or food or whatever because it is every person for him or herself in the household, and constantly look for attention by acting out because individual one on one attention is in short supply. And then there are those that come from huge families that wouldn't have it any other way! But so many of us want what we don't have because we imagine only they great things - the grass is always greener isn't it? The onlies want a sibling and the kids with siblings are envious of the onlies lives. You can't always win! But no matter the size of the family somehow most of us turn out pretty OK and maybe even great.

[deleted account]

I am an only child and this is just an opinion but here goes.

First you must do what is right for you and what takes care of you best. If having more than one child is a challenge for you to consider, whatever the reason, then you must follow your internal guidance. It would never be best for your child if you do anything that creates undue stress for yourself.

That said there are two other points on the matter that I would like to weigh in.
As a child I did often wish I had a sibling and occassionally as an adult I have fantasized what it might be like to have an ally that I am inextricably bound to.
On the other hand I know more people than I can easily count who resent or even detest their siblings including my own children and my parents. So I can't believe honestly that you as a parent can seriously determine any outcome either way.

Back to my original point, take care of yourself best you can and do what is best for you and your family will benefit because you did.

Pat - posted on 02/23/2011

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I'm an only. Simply put, it was great when I was younger but it's awful and lonely when you get old.

Jamie - posted on 02/23/2011

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I was not an only child, I was the middle child, I have a 19 month old lil girl and as far as we plan she will be an only child. I want to be able to give her everything I never had as a child and I had a very difficult pregnancy, so health wise and finnancially another child would put a tremendous burden on our family. She goes to an inhome daycare when I work ( she will be starting preschool soon) and I set up playdates with other moms with children her age on my weeks off! She isnt over spoiled of needy, she is very independent and is content to do things for herself, on the same token, she is great with other children and loves to play, I dont think there is anything wrong with only having one child

Karra Marie - posted on 02/23/2011

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My daughter is 18 months old and will be my only : ) My situation is kind of unique though because my sister and I were pregnant at the same time and our girls are 18 hours apart. My sister and I live near each other and are very close. It is our goal to keep our girls close as they grow up so they feel like they will always have each other. They see each other almost every day and ask for each other when they are not together. We can already see the bond forming and they get the much needed interaction with another child. They are learning to share and take care of each other. I do not know if my sister will have any more children but that is up to her. For now we love spending time together and seeing our girls grow close : )

Tamara - posted on 02/23/2011

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I'm my mothers only child and she raised me by herself so although I have 2 siblings, I consider myself an only child. I used to beg for siblings but my mom said I was all she needed. I was blessed to live in a neighborhood with plenty of other children to play with. I also have a huge extended family with plenty of cousins and I spent a great deal of time with them. I was a bit introverted. I never experienced arguments in my home and I feared having them with other children so I was a pushover. I think having to resolve thigns with siblings would have helped with that. Also, now that my mother is aging, I am concerned with caring for her by myself. I don't have any back-up when I'm trying to get her to be more cautious and take care of her health. I was given everything I could ask for but I was not spoiled. My mother would not put up with selfish, rude behavior, so I was able to get along with other kids pretty easily. My husband is the youngest of 6 so now I have the big family with lots of siblings that I always wanted. Being an only child is really not that bad,

Keirran - posted on 02/23/2011

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im an only child and am sooo grateful for it i feel that you get more attention, in the years growing up i was still quite social when i was older and had a lot of friends through school etc so socially i definately fine :) plus you dont have to deal with sibling rivalry, if i didnt also want a boy so bad i wouldve liked for my girl to be an only child

Belinda - posted on 02/23/2011

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My son is an only child and at 3 1/2 is empathetic, independent, outgoing and plays well with others. We socialized him early through play dates, playgroups and just hanging out at the park. Just because a child does not have to compete in the "pecking order" or have a built-in playmate does not mean that they will grow up to be socially inept, self centered or lonely.

Susan - posted on 02/23/2011

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Our son is now 10 and an only child. We may adopt in a year. I have always made sure friends were over as much as possible and signed him up for lots of extra curricular activity. He is a very happy,well adjusted child.

Kelly - posted on 02/23/2011

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Bree~ I wanted two children, but ended up only having one boy. I was worried that he would miss out on all the joys of having a sibling. He is 19 now. What I found is that spending quality time with him was what he treasured most. When he was small, we had regularly schedule play dates with his grandparents, which gave me a break. I took him to the park and other play places where he could interact with children his own age. He was in daycare from age 2, so that might have satisfied his need for being around other kids. He is a well-adjusted, happy adult now. He enjoyed being the only child because it meant he got us all to himself. Spend lots of time with your daughter and always talk to her. She will be just fine.

Trish - posted on 02/23/2011

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I have four children, 12, 10, 8 & 5, and it can be hard work at times when they argue, but they don't argue often. It is half-term all of this week, we have all been indoors and at home all week and we've only have two minor five minute disagreements. I think other siblings are a fantastic way to learn life skills that are almost impossible to learn elsewise. For example as an only child, it is not often anyone else wants your stuff, as it would be ridiculous for a parent to fight with a child over a toy! But with siblings, both children learn to respect other people's property and feelings, though it is only with parents help! (They won't learn that all by themselves!) They also would learn to be generous and share, or learn that sometimes we can't always have what we want and the sibling who the toy belongs to has the right to play with it right now. My second daughter has a friend who is her mother's only child, her father has two much older children. Her friend can be kind and generous, but she is can also be incredibly self-centred. I think though, that half the problems are because her mom treats her as a friend and she gets practically everything she ever wants. It always annoys my daughters that when they get something special for their birthdays, this lass has the same or better within a few days. We have had trouble recently with her accusing my daughter of saying something mean. I spoke to my daughter, she vows and declares and didn't... The other lass has said some nasty stuff to my daughter too, like asking her if she cheated on a test that she passed and did really well on... I told her Mom when talking about it that I thought both girls were being silly, as we don't know what was actually said as we weren't there... they are 10/11 year old girls, who will bicker, to leave them to sort it out. (Her father agrees, kids fall out one day and are best friends the next...) It has been two weeks now and the mother will barely greet me... As she doesn't seem to want to admit her child may not always be sweet as sugar pie, in other words she is just a normal child, sometimes nice and sometimes not. So I think only children can be rounded but it takes an enormous amount of dedication and hard work from the parents, as do parents with more than one! Being a parent is no walk in the park and takes a lot of daily dedication. I agree with one post earlier on that said parents don't tell their children all their feelings and desires... but siblings do. So children learn, with help, to understand other's feelings, whether that help comes from only parents, or parents and siblings, it is needed as we can't learn to be nice on our own. Personally I love the relationships my children have and the way they love and care for one another but sometimes only children aren't always a choice parents make. I hope you have what you desire, whether it is one child or more... but mostly I hope you have a lovely life with your daughter and help her grow up into well rounded grown up.

Shelia - posted on 02/23/2011

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I have a 16 year old daughter who is a only child and she always had playmates in cousins and also with a playgroup at church where we attend.so check into a play group or a Moms day out group for your child to have fun with and give you support too!!

LINDA - posted on 02/23/2011

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I can only speak as being an only child. keep her involved in activities with like age children, but also teach/encourage her to entertain herself.

Angela - posted on 02/23/2011

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I have a seven-year-old daughter (only child) and she is OK with it. She actually gets jealous when I spend too much time with other children, holding babies, etc. We have play dates with friends, and if she wants to do something special, she can invite a friend to come along. We figured the advantage would be that if we went on a "big" vacation, she could include a friend and not be forced to spend that time with a sibling. I grew up with a brother and aside from the normal squabbles, we had fun together. I had a friend who was an only child and I went with her on a lot of her family outings. I thought that was cool growing up. There are always positives and negatives. You just need to focus on the positive! Best of luck with your decision.

Nicola - posted on 02/23/2011

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I am an only child and for a lot of people the concept of being an only child means a horrible, spoiled little brat but that's not me! It's all down to good parenting. I don't remember my very young days but remember from about 8 and feeling bored at home quite often but I had a few friends in the neighbourhood so it really wasn't that bad. I appreciated being an only child when I got to teenage years but admit that now I'm older I would love to have a sibling, well, one that I get on really well with. I have two children but have a 10 year gap (not from lack of trying!) so in a way it feels like I have two 'only' children if that make sense. I think you just have to find the right balance for your daughter, make sure she's not bored being alone but at the same time don't spoil her, she has to learn that she can't have everything she wants and that she can't have your attention all the time even though there is only her. Hope this helps in some small way!

Melinda - posted on 02/23/2011

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I am an only child although i do have half siblings but they are 20 to 23 years older than me and never lived with me!
I agree with alot of the comments here about playgroups and childcare etc but also try to remember (as i felt my parents forgot) that when purchasing games or activities that if they are more than 1 player that you have to be willing to play them i gound myself playing multiplayer games by myself and it bored me sensless lol. too true about the spoiling as some kids tend to not know the value of objects (toys clothes etc) as parents just hand it out rather than it being a reward it becomes expected anyways good luck im sure you will know what to do as things arise!!

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