at what age do you start time outs?

Melissa - posted on 02/04/2009

The general rule is one minute for every year of age, but I want to let you know what worked well for my daughter (she is VERY headstrong!) Rather than labeling it a time out we called it cool down, once she was able to "pull" herself together, we would talk calmly about what had occured. I would give her the vocabulary to talk to me and try to get her to talk to me about what had happened and how it could have be handled better. I realize people might think I am crazy, but I now have a very articulate 6 year old who can solve her own problems and have been told by her first grade teacher she is one of the best communicators in her class! The follow through is the most important step (communicating) the time out or cool down as we called it is just to calm down.

Angela - posted on 02/04/2009

I started as soon as he could walk. I read that the time outs should be no longer than a minute for every year old your child is. Any longer and they may not remember what they are in trouble for. Remember to always tell them while you are placing them in the "time out place" what they are in time out for and discuss with them when their minutes are over, what the time out was for and how they could have done it differently. And actually I haven't had to give him one for about 3 months :)

Aimee - posted on 02/03/2009

I think it is different for every child but I agree with everyone else, one minute per year old. My son is 16 months old and we have been giving him time outs for about a month.

Katherine - posted on 02/03/2009

From a psychological standpoint, a child under 2 (approx) will not understand the concept of timeout because they can't yet connect causes and consequences. Hope this is helpful.

Jolene - posted on 02/03/2009

Depends on how much how child understand by a certain age. You know your child best so it's all your judgment. I think around 1 year old, but only for a minute or two.

Yolaine - posted on 02/03/2009

Hi Kathleen, Timeouts are usually started when a child understands (usually before 2 most likely after 1). How much time is determined is by there age. Example if a child is 3 there time out should be 3 minutes. If the child is 2 it should be 2 minutes because of there attention spans being short. The younger they are the harder it is. For them its an eternity. I have triplets who are now 18. Have lots of experience. Good luck.  Yolaine San Filippo, NY

Sarah - posted on 02/03/2009

I suggest you read the following book. It was full of really useful information. Not all of it will be for you but for the most part it was all right on, and it talked about things from a perspective I had never thought of before. Good Luck! and Enjoy!

Positive Discipline: The First Three Years: From Infant to Toddler--Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child by Jane Ed.D. Nelsen, Cheryl Erwin, and Roslyn Ann Duffy

Holly - posted on 02/03/2009

i also have my daughter say "sorry for (fill in the blank)" and i give her a hug when shes done with time out

Amy - posted on 02/03/2009

Around 1.  You have to make sure to explain to your little one why they are in time out while they are in time out though.  My doctor said a good rule is 1 minute per year of age.  So a 1 year old only gets a 1 minute time out.  At this age you usually do have to stand in the corner with them, which is ok because you are explaining to them why they are there anyway.  Then either show them what it is you want them to do when they get out of time out or redirect them to a more appropriate activity.

Carrie - posted on 02/03/2009

we started at about 2 years

Nichole - posted on 02/03/2009

Yep, I agree... 2 or 3, I minute per year of age...

Holly - posted on 02/03/2009

i started a few months before 2..

Lacey - posted on 02/03/2009

I started at 2 (I read in the Supernanny book that at two is when they really "get" the concept) with a special time out chair, one minute for each year old they are, and if my son got out of the chair the time started over.  Didn't take more than a few times for him to catch on!

Janel - posted on 02/03/2009

Quoting Kathleen:

at what age do you start time outs?

I believe you are suppose to start time outs at age 2. The time outs are 1 minute per year old, so a 3-year-old would get a three minute time out.