At what age do you tell your children that the tooth fairy, Easter Bunny, and Santa do not exsist?

Christine - posted on 01/18/2010

my son is 10 and this year i rapped all xmas presants and put them under the tree, thinking he is at the age of not believing anymore and on christmas eve he counted the presants and said wow mum...wonder how many santa will bring...I nearly fell over, so thank goodness his birthday was after xmas, as that night i snuck another 2 under the tree, so i do believe they will come to you when they stop believing...

Jenny - posted on 01/18/2010

With my 15 year old, we never sat down and told her about them we just strung it along until she got old enough to make her own decision about the topic. So basically she figured it out on her own. And I have always said the they exist if you believe they exist.

Christy - posted on 01/18/2010

i would say that at 8, if he comes to you asking if they are real you should be honest with him. i know it's not going to be fun, i dread the day i have to do it with my daughter, but it's not a good idea to blatantly lie to him when a question is asked either. i was 9 when i found out and was told by another kid. i didn't want to believe it but my mom told me the truth when i asked her. i didn't think she was terrible for having me believe in the stuff and i was never the kind of kid that felt like i needed to ruin it for other kids either. i think you are right in asking your 13 year old not to tell his brother that they're fake because that's a situation you can control in your own home, but rest assured at 8 years old he's going to find out from another kid his age sooner rather than later...

Firebird - posted on 01/18/2010

My parent's never had to tell us... neither did any of our friends.... we just kind of figured it out for ourselves. I agree with Nicole Cilento. Let them tell you.

Nicole - posted on 01/18/2010

I say let them tell you

Fiona - posted on 01/18/2010

You don't. As a primary teacher there is nothing sadder than watching children at Christmas time the first year they find out. Children work it out on their own in time and they will never resent you for this little deception. I tell all children that I believe. That way it gives them permission to believe to an older age. It's not a conversation that needs to be had. When they do figure it out, they're usually happy to pretend just in case they're wrong for a year or two. Why take the magic out of Christmas if you don't have to.

If you do decide to have the conversation with your kids, please make sure that you also have the conversation about keeping it to themselves. It's not their right to ruin it for other kids and sadly, most kids need to be told this explicitly.

Good luck.

Oneika - posted on 01/18/2010

I think that if they don't seem to believe so much when they're 10, you can tell them the truth & the stories behind them.

Rebecca - posted on 01/18/2010

i knew a guy i went to highschool with (he was a senior, i was a sophomore) who still believed in santa. i say when they start giving you funny looks when their presents say "from santa" on them..or when they recognise that it is yours(or daddys) hand writing is when you tell them. i was about 7 or 8. my nieces never believed in it...we believed in the birthday fairy who would come in the middle of the night on your birthday and decorate the WHOLE house with ribbons and baloons and all that stuff. it was awesome!

Faith - posted on 01/18/2010

I have not been through this but from experience, we wrote letters in 6th grade to 4th graders. I believed until then. it was the school who ruined it for me. Of all places, the public school just so they could have 4th graders still believe. I wish i would not have found out this way. it was a class thing so i had to wether i wished to or not. No permissions from the parents either.

Sharon - posted on 01/18/2010

I think the best time is when they actually ask you, then they are ready to hear the answer.

Kristina - posted on 01/18/2010

I think it depends on the kid, some can handle knowing the truth and work better that way and some dont, my 14 yr old has know now for atleast 3 yrs if not more but my 10 yr old still believes with all her heart. My 2 yr olds are just getting to know what is going on and I have atleast a few great yrs left with them.... So depends on the kid and where they are and how they view life.

Monika - posted on 01/18/2010

I do not like lying to my kids, and I think if we want them to trust us, we really should not extend this myth. I was totally traumatized thinking that some fairy was coming into my room, logically at about the age of 5 I thought this was not a good thing. I told them the true story about St Nicklaus, and why we have a representation of him. that's just my opinion, but I am a go against the grain type of person anyway...

Sharon - posted on 01/18/2010

I explained to my oldst (14 yrs) that santa is real - in spirit if nothing else, but how can we know for sure... then I tell him what happened one year. It had been REALLY hard on us as a family that year.. so much had gone wrong and Christmas was not looking overly bright. We suffered through black friday sale to get the best deals and put some things on layaway.



When we went to pick the items up, we were going through things one at a time when we came across an unfamiliar package. We pointed it out to the man checking things off and he said that the unfamiliar box was holding another item. My husband & I looked at each other. There was no way that little box was holding what he said. I did not want to get in trouble and I did NOT want someone else to get in trouble. I asked him if he was sure? I didn't think that would fit? Besides there is the other item over there.... he looked over our reciepts and said that the item came in two parts and the smaller part was in the little box. NO WAY. I said so. the man just shrugged and kept marking things off.



I didn't know what to do really. At the end as he helped us pack our truck, I asked again, "are you sure?" He gave an exasperated sigh and said "yes, I'm sure."



Hubby & I talked about it for days. I called the store to try and talk to someone but was always put on terminal hold. I gave up after 4 days worth of calls.



After a week, I was afraid to call in case we were accused of something.



That gift made christmas for our kids. It was a miracle.



I talked to a friend I made later at the store and kind of explained things. She looked astounded, wanted to know who it was. I said I didn't want any one to get in trouble, she said she wouldn't tell anyone, she was just wondering if maybe it was someone who had been fired trying to get back at the company or something like that.. I gave her the name - its stuck with me even today years later - and his description. it didn't ring any bells for her at all and she knew everyone ...



.... so it was magic. There is no way someone is that dense. And its not the only time something dramatic has happened for us at christmas. Just the most expensive one and it came at our lowest christmas ever.



The tooth fairy = we explained when we got caught that it was to put a positive spin on a slightly scary experience



Easter bunny - is representative of an old pagan ritual for fertility which is fun for everyone. While the kids are young we make like the bunny is real - but the kids figure it out - especially when the easter bunny is slow to show up.

Sara - posted on 01/18/2010

I think once they start asking questions, then it's time. I have 2 boys - 8 and 10. Both of which still believe. When they start putting 2 and 2 together, I won't lie. I do agree they need to hold onto their innocence and the magic of Santa, The tooth fairy etc.. Once it's gone, it's gone.

Denise - posted on 01/18/2010

I told my children that if they don't believe they don't receive. My son still hangs his stocking up and he is 30 something.

Denise Owen

Phyllis - posted on 01/18/2010

I think at the age of 8, if they come to you and directly ask you if they are real or not, you need to give them an honest answer. Having said that, around my house, I always said you have to believe to receive. lol. So, they didn't admit that they knew they weren't real until they were much older than 8.

Angelica - posted on 01/18/2010

im not too experienced here, but i would wait until about 4th grade