Baby doesn't want daddy

Malia - posted on 05/30/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I'm a stay-at-home mom and take care of my daughter 24/7. During the week I pretty much do everything, i.e. early feedings, bath time, bed time ect. I love being a mom but one night on the weekends my husband gets up to take care of our baby. However, just recently during a 4 am feeding Briana, that my husband took, she would not stop screaming. I finally came down stairs and took over and everything was fine. I don't know if she just hasn't bonded with her dad enough or if she's going through a clingly stage. But I need at least one good nights sleep! Any suggestions... help!?

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Jeanne - posted on 05/30/2009

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I to am a stay at home mom and my son who just cannot get enough of daddy, refused to take a bottle from anyone but me up until he was six months of age. A couple of times daddy tried so that I could have a break (especially when I had food poisonning) and he screamed and screeched for 30 minutes until I came down. The minute I took my boy and started feeding him he wolfed down the bottle...and the minute he was done with his bottle he wanted to go back to daddy. Don't forget there is a sense of security and a familiar smell and feel when you hold her to give her a bottle....and daddy just doesn't feel like mommy. Have daddy try giving her a bottle during the day....if it works then he can slowly work his way to evenings and then do a night feeding occasionally.....it may just be that she isn't used to daddy doing it...babies don't like changes in their routines...it's upsetting - so if daddy takes over a feeding occasionally it won't be so traumatic if he does a night feeding for her later on.

Cathelijn - posted on 05/30/2009

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My daughter is 6 months now and she is finally getting over ''the fase'' she is fine with papa now only sometimes when she is tired or very hungry she will only want to be with me but when I am not in the room she is fine with him. She actually started nursery this week and she is even fine with other people before no one else could hold or even look at her she would just scream. Your baby will get over it just let her spend lots of time with daddy.

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Jschacht30 - posted on 03/19/2014

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My daughter is just barely 16mos, and for the past month in a half shes been it almost seems afraid of her daddy. She talks about him all day long, when she hears the garage door go up she knows daddys home and gets excited. I encourage her by saying "yea daddys home, go give hugs and kisses." But as soon as he comes in that door she runs away. I say "baby its daddy, you were so excited for him to come home, can u please give him a hug" i dont force her. I ask please. But he goes over and tries to pick her up and hold her for a second and she screams. And i say "its ok." Its like that on the weekend when she hears the alarm clock, she gets all excited to see daddy, bug once up wants nothing to do with him. Ive tried to disappear when shes not looking to give them time to bond, and i dont step back in until he comes and gets me. I just feel bad for him. I know this is a phaze but will she get past it soon?

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I agree with Vicki. Maybe they just need to figure it out on their own. You aren't far away and if they need you, you're there. But you need sleep. Maybe Daddy could get up more than just on weekends? I know he works but it's part of being a parent...late nights don't just belong to you, Mommy. My husband and I have always alternated getting up. One night it's his turn, the next it's mine. That way we each get good night's sleep....every other night lol And the way it works out on Sundays is cool too. Sunday is my hubby's only day off every week. With us alternating mornings/nights with Jacob, every other Sunday one of us gets to sleep in INDEFINITELY. Last Sunday I got to sleep until 10am and I was so excited lol

User - posted on 05/30/2009

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I think that,at some point, you have to let the 2 of them figure it out. From reading other postings, this may sound harsh, but as long as daddy is okay with her fussing, let her go - she needs to learn that daddy can take care of her, too. Besides, he can always come get you if it's an emergency.

You might try talking to her while she's in daddy's arms - don't take her! - just see if the sound of your voice will calm her down.

Shannon - posted on 05/30/2009

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I totally agree, i have five children, and it is just a phase, sometimes they just really want their mommy and then there are times when its just got to be daddy. And when they have a primary caregiver, who tends to their every need, which is usually the mother, than that is who they look for, if only sometimes just for the comfort of knowing you are there. And when a secondary caregiver, is only around sometimes, especially at an early age, the child is not used to relying on that caregiver for thier comfort, security since they are not there often enough responding to thier needs. As the child grows, things will get easier, and even though its frustrating, what you are doing is a small sacrafice with a lifetime of rewards. Hang in there.

Cassie - posted on 05/30/2009

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Daddy's are fun to play with and Mommy are good for Naps, feedings, and boo boo's!!! Another thing is that you are the one that take care of your baby most of the time... so you know what she likes, dont like, wants, etc. and you are hat she is use to.

Shannon - posted on 05/30/2009

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both of mine have gone thru that...my daughter will be 2 in july and she still has these moments with her dad....out son who is goin on 5months does it from time to time....mom is more comfortin then dad most of the times....we have a greater bond then dad does....they get over it, it does take time...i usually have my hubby and daughter do things together-go outside and play or just take a drive...this way they have daddy and daughter time....i'll do the same once our son is older.....have them find somethin to do with or without you in the house.....

Esther - posted on 05/30/2009

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Very common! My husband and I both work full-time and we both do everything together to take care of our son when we are home. However, I have been the one to almost always bring him to bed at night and to get up when he wakes up in the middle of the night. During the day my now 17-month-old son often prefers dad over mom, but when it comes to bedtime, he will have nothing to do with him. Last night my husband went in when he woke up at around midnight as I was already in bed and he was still up. My son kept running away from him (in the crib), pushed his hands away & would not let him pick him up. He also gave him some angry looks and just kept insisting that "mama" had to come in. My husband picked him up anyway and he started screaming so I went in & he was immediately fine. So I don't really know what the answer is. However, it looks like your baby is still very young. Hopefully soon she'll start sleeping through the night more often and it should get easier for you then. Just hang in a little longer. I know it's tough. I had to get up at least once a night for 16 months straight.

Sabrina - posted on 05/30/2009

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It is a phase...I am sorry to say that there is relly no cure for it. She will out grow it. My son did that to his daddy too....dady is just not mommy....and sometimes that is all that they want. Give it some time, he will out grow it and everything will be fine and he will love and want both of you. Sorry I couldn't be more help:(

Cheryl - posted on 05/30/2009

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its true there will be times where my daughter wants nothing to do with me and only wants daddy and others where she only wants mommy its most likely a stage but maybe if he tried switching the day that he takes her one week just to change things a bit it might help

Dawn - posted on 05/30/2009

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It's not a bonding thing with Daddy, it's just a phase :). Mine have all gone through it at one point or another. He's just not mom. I don't know how to make it better other than to give it a little time. Good luck!

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