Baby shower!! My mom is no help!!

Faith - posted on 11/20/2009 ( 17 moms have responded )

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I am trying to figure out when to have my baby shower. I am 20 weeks today and have started slowly working on the registry. I have a compulsion to research everything, so this will take a few weeks. Lol. My mom is no help because she thinks baby showers should be after the baby is born. I am fine with a get-together (as long as there is hand sanitizer), but I want a baby shower before she comes. We know the sex of the baby, we just don't know when to have my sister schedule it. She's acting kind of clueless too. So, when would be a good time so everything is washed and set up?



Plus, my husband and I are moving out of the country 5 months after the baby is due, so is it weird that I mainly have registered for clothes? Shipping things would cost way more than buying them new when we get there.

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Erin - posted on 11/29/2009

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I think when you have the shower is up to you, in the end. We can give you advice until we're blue in the face, but it's your call. =)

I'm 30 weeks and having two showers - one with all of my coworkers before baby is born, then one with family and close friends after baby is born.

Sharyn - posted on 11/29/2009

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i had my shower when i was 7 months pregnant ... over the morning sickness and just beginning into the third tri ... still mobile and comfortable....

Sharon - posted on 11/29/2009

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Considering that she is leaving the country five months after the birth I think it should be after the birth. Not the day after of course. And new borns sleep a lot so plan the party around nap time. Your leaving the country think about how your friends and family will feel. I just think she should wait or at least talk to her Mom and involve her Mom in the planning. Her Mom is probably heart broken that her daughter and grandchild are leaving the country.

Renae - posted on 11/29/2009

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Baby Showers are normally held before baby is born, close to the due date, usually about 4-6 weeks before bub is due. Sometimes its only a couple of weeks but I dont think that's a good idea since I know someone who went into labour during their shower! I have never heard of a shower being held after, who wants to entertain with a newborn?



Yes I think you are entirely sensible to only buy the essentials if you have to move internationally.

Sharon - posted on 11/29/2009

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1. its not weird to register for clothes, but babies out grow clothing FAST. when my kids were born I was happy to shop resale shops for clothing because of all the brand new clothes with the retail tags still attached.

2. You could ask for gadgets, baby monitor, bottle & wipes warmer (not the same thing, lol) diaper hamper/holder (I LOVED mine) fancy diaper bag - things like that

3. you have special circumstances. I think you should feel free to ask for gift certificates - go ahead and explain why in case anyone is thick headed about it.

4. Have the shower 1 month before the baby is due.

Bonnie - posted on 11/29/2009

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I thought most baby showers happen when women are still pregnant? You use the stuff you get from the shower right away, even when you're still in the hospital - the shower is supposed to be a way of helping out with all the stuff you need.

The shipping might be worth it if the stuff you want is available here and not there. Having to pay international shipping when you buy stuff online has to be even more!

I would have a shower so that you have enough time afterwards to wash everything and set it up, but also with enough time in case something goes wrong and you end up with an early delivery. I would plan to have everything ready for baby by the start of the 8th month.

Good luck!!

Cassie - posted on 11/29/2009

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We had my baby shower 1 month before I was due that way we had enough time to register at a few places and so that we could have everything washed and ready before she got here. We also had plenty of time to get the rest of the things we needed that we didnt get at the shower. It worked out great!

Sharon - posted on 11/29/2009

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Usually it is fine to have the baby shower before the baby is born. But in your case you are leaving the country five months later. Don't you think it would be nice for all your friends and family to see your baby before you leave.
As far as your Mom she is probably very sad that you are leaving the country. Will this be your Mothers only grandchild or your first baby? Are you her only child? Your Mom is not only loosing you she is loosing a grandbaby.
As far as gifts go I would open a savings account for your baby and have your friends and family make their gift a money gift. Most banks will help you do this and its not tacky. This way you don't have to ship anything. Just pack a lot of onesie's. Buy what you need later.

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Faith - posted on 11/20/2009

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Rachel: I am almost considering doing it on my own if my sister doesn't get her butt in gear. She ended up with 3 baby showers and they were all surprises so she is sort of clueless. I have to research and find what was really useful and what just wasted space since this baby was a surprise and we live in a small one bedroom apartment. We really don't have room for a baby bathtub, so I had to find an alternative (bath sling: fits in the kitchen sink!). I don't want to buy multiple car seats for one child, so I am taking my 2 year old nephew out today and sticking him in floor models to see which will grow and then taking those car seats and looking at the crash test ratings and customer reviews.

I'm really glad I joined Circle Of Moms because I've had questions answered that no one else seemed to care enough to answer. Plus, input from lots of different moms with different lifestyles helps me find which is close to mine!

Rachel - posted on 11/20/2009

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I did my shower 2 months in advance. I planned everything myself too. I had to drag my mom to the store and dig her credit card out to fund all the food and games. I was in charge though, I even sent out all my own invitations. I think it's great too that you're researching everything. That is what I did and it paid off. I only bought things that other mom's liked and were practical. There is a lot of neat stuff out at stores that is not neccessary at all.

Faith - posted on 11/20/2009

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Thanks ladies. Definitely good ideas. We are moving to Turkey (my husband is Turkish) and they only have Ikea. My husband just called me a few minutes ago and he told me that his Uncle is planning on moving his daughter to a toddler bed right before we get there and giving us her crib and changing table. Yay! My mother-in-law is determined to spoil her first grandchild rotten, so she is buying us a stroller and the carseat, both of which will be coming with us. Nice relief to have an awesome MIL. :)

It looks like anywhere between 15 and 5 weeks before the due date should be good. I'm never sure if there is etiquette that plays a part or not. I had my bridal shower 2 weeks before the wedding and everything was still in bags when we got back from the honeymoon.

Thanks again for all your input and help. I mainly just need to get things down on "paper" and bounce ideas off people and my head starts to clear.

Christine - posted on 11/20/2009

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Where are you moving and theres a lot of different things you can do my mom was not helpfull at all she is all about her self but I am the baby shower no it all I do everyones baby showers and all there friends and famliy I dont even know how many I have put on but let me know what you need help with if I dont know the anwser we can find it

Cleo - posted on 11/20/2009

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I would suggest having the shower about a month before you deliver. I cut it really short with my first by having her shower two weeks before she was born, which was something I didn't really want but with the calender we didn't have much choice but we plan to have our second daughters shower a full month before she comes. good luck.

Michelle - posted on 11/20/2009

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When I had my baby shower I was 2 months away from my due date. Some people thought I had it to early, some thought it was to late. Main reason I picked then was because I wanted a "Jack and Jill Baby Shower". (Co-ed) I also wanted a cook out to enjoy the end of the summer with friends and family. Also, my sister-in-law had a premie and I wanted the baby shower before my son got here, so I picked the date to be kind of early, just in case, and some what late to be close to my due date. :) But again, it was all depending on where you're having it and how many people you'll have and just the time YOU feel comfortable.



You can pick items that are big on the registry, but when you send the invitation, you can just put that if you want to get one of the bigger items to get you a gift card, gift certificate, or even a pre-paid credit card with the money, so you can purchase it at your new home. (I think they'd understand.)



Hope this helped and good luck hun. ♥

Stephanie - posted on 11/20/2009

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I just had my shower this last saturday... and I'm now 26 weeks.... i think anytime after 24 is fine.

Klarissa - posted on 11/20/2009

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Faith,



I am at 24 weeks, and my baby is due in March so I am going to have my shower in Feb, I have known people to have it 2 months in advance to the child being born also. I hope this helps in your planning of the shower.

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