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Back at work, miss kids, husband on different shift than myself

Linda - posted on 06/03/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I just went back to a full time job. Really missing the kids. Daughter 4 and Son 2. I am thinking I did the wrong thing. Need some support, pep talk. Husband works 4:30pm to 3:30am. I work 8:00am to 4:30pm. We only see each other in the am right before I leave. He barely sees the kids. I have no help in the evening hours. I feel as though the kids are getting cheated. I am so busy once I pick them up from daycare, dinner, tubs, etc... We need the money, but I don't want our kids to feel that money is more important than they are. Any suggestions to help me not feel so guilty that they are with the daycare workers more than they see me? Any suggestions on how to help with the evenings? I am really stressed. Any suggestions are welcome!

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Nicole - posted on 06/03/2009

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It is hard. No easy answers unless you have lots of money. It's frustrating. Perhpas the full-time work doesn't have to be long-term and you can start thinking of ways to make it 3 days a week or have more flexible schedule. Can your husband pick them up a couple hours before he has to go to work to spend some time with them? Great idea to include them in heling you so you can spend time talking with them. They are probably having a good time at daycare. Make sure you are really happy with their providers. Is there a friend who might like to earn a little money making an extra dinner a couple of nights a week that you could pick up on the way home form work so you can go right to the table? How about a mother's helper (young girl/boy) who could help do chores around the house like folding clothes, unload dishwasher etc. so you clan play with the kids? Good luck.

Christina - posted on 06/03/2009

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So your hubby is home all day when the kids are at preschool? I am a little confused...My husband works nights too - 8pm-4am and also watches our daugher during the day while I am at work...Seems like you could put them in daycare less and maybe work a little less to be around them a little more... sorry to be so blunt, but even though my husband makes less then me, he is doing so much more by being watching our daughter during the day and that is such a blessing to me...

Melanie - posted on 06/03/2009

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we have two boys 2 & 4 - in my opinion there are no easy answers either way moms feel pulled to do it differently at times. I worked during the day with kids in day care, hubby worked 8-5 with a 3 hour commute and it was a struggle to define bedtime so everyone was happy. Now I work from home, hubby still about the same schedule with intermitant day care. When they were in daycare I thought they would be better off at home, just being kids, Now that they are home, they really miss 'circle time' and having friends their own age to play with. We try to 'make' up time by keeping things really low key during the week and getting fancy on the weekends. We attempt to get everyone involved (from cracking eggs to emptying the dishwasher) so we can spend the work time talking and play time playing. Hang in there, do your best and know that having a mom that worries about it and is there for them is what they need.

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