bed times

Sam - posted on 01/23/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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hi my kids are summer 2 and corey 3 they have to share bedroom and night time is horrible they keep getting up out of bed. i go into them they laugh at me i have tried talking to them i have tried telling them i even shouted coz thye dont respond to anything else during the day they are normally good i dont know what i can do does anyone have any advice???

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Deborah - posted on 01/23/2010

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I agree with the other posts on routines, and not yelling (as hard as that is, cause it's sooooooo funny when mommy is mad!!) great ideas! Here is something you might already know, but just to think about. You don't mention what time of night you put your children to bed. Children have a natural circadian rhythm, which means that their bodies tell them when it is time to eat and sleep. If you pass this rhythm at bedtime, the body begins producing chemicals to restimulate the body. Have you every gotten tired around 1-2 in the afternoon, but if you can just stay awake till 3 then you aren't tired anymore? I start getting my children ready for bed at 6:30. I get many a frown because people think this is too early, but after a bath, story, prayers, and kisses, neither my 1 yr old or my 4yr old have every fought me andthey are in bed by 7 and asleep by 730-8. The typical rhythm at this age is 7pm, and then moves to 8pm in upper elementary, and unfortunatly 12+ during puberty. Once you find your child's circadian rhythm and stick to it, hopeful nighttime will be much more peacful to you. Bonus is that you also get some alone time before your own rhythm kicks in!!!!!

Sam - posted on 01/23/2010

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thanks guys i will try all your ways to see which ones work with my two at the moment i dont have a full bed time routine so that is a good one to try thankyou

[deleted account]

I totally agree...I have a daughter that is almost 2 1/2 yrs. old and she shares a room with her 6 month old brother....she didn't sleep in her toddler bed until Jaxson was 4 months old. She is doing really well now....we got her the cloud b sea turtle and it really helps if she wakes up in the middle of the night she can turn on the stars and it helps her get back to sleep. I can't say enough about night time routine and no tv at least 2 hours before bedtime. Lavender scented bath soap really helps Isabella relax before bed. Hope this is helpful.

Mary - posted on 01/23/2010

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My kids shared a room when they were very young also. 2 things seemed to help with us. About 15-20 min. before bedtime, we had "slow down time". At this time we'd sit on the couch w/ their favorite blanket and a sippy cup of luke warm milk and sit still a for a few minutes. We'd talk together quietly or read a book or even just sit & watch a short video together. This helped to wind them down.

Even though, too much activity in the bedroom at bed time can be over-stimulating (music boxes, moving mobiles and light projections), I tried playing some soft music at bed & naptime. I read that light classical music can reduce stress and be calming and since my daughter was always difficult to get to sleep or keep asleep, I tried it. It worked. If you go to the baby department in many stores you can find cd's of soft, light classical music designed for this purpose.

Debbie - posted on 01/23/2010

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u have to pursavie in keep puttin them bk into bed it will b hard at first but once they now that they will have to stay and ur goin to keep puttin them bk it will work persaverance is the key word when they laugh u have to b firm and tell them in a stern voice not shoutin that this is not laughin matter and once they no u mean it it will fall into place

Julia - posted on 01/23/2010

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Several things might help...the most important (for them and you!) is your consistency and calm while carrying this out:



Put them down at the same time every day. Be sure they have a night-time routine and FOLLOW IT LIKE CLOCKWORK! Some children do NOT wind down without their evening bath. Others want a special story with mommy, and of course they need to brush their teeth (or have their teeth brushed for them, if they're very young), etc. etc.



Once it's time for bed, it's time for bed. Put them in bed, tuck them in, kiss them and say goodnight. Turn out the light (I assume you leave a night-light for them), and walk out. If they come out, pick them up, carry them to bed and put them back in. "It's bedtime now, honey...goodnight."



You may wind up doing this six or even sixteen times the first few nights. KEEP YOUR COOL. Keep returning them to bed. They will understand quite quickly that Mommy means what she says, and they are not going to get any benefit from getting up. (Shouting at them is entertaining. Don't shout. "Talking to them" is just another way for them to keep YOU up with them. Keep to the routine!)



P.S. If they are watching TV until bedtime, you will have a far more difficult time getting them to go down. The TV (or video games, or even your computer) puts children--and grownups--in to a far more mentally hyper state than say, a quiet time reading with Daddy, or a tub time (the warm water relaxes the major muscles and gets them ready for sleep without them knowing it...and it has the added bonus of being fun if you add bubbles!)



For the child who just CAN'T stop, and you've tried all of the above, you might try finding a local compounder and ask them for 1mg/mL liquid melatonin. This is for SHORT TERM USE ONLY. The melatonin will work over the course of several days to reset their "bedtime" clock. Routine does the rest. Remember, their brains are still developing, and you don't want them--or you!-- to grow dependent on a sleep aid, even a natural one. At their age, I'd give it to them no earlier than 7:30 pm, and no later than 8:30 pm. Figure it takes about 30 minutes to work.



This last one was a godsend for me, as my baby would not sleep at all unless I was physically holding her. I used it when she was two, and have again (on and off) whenever we've significantly departed from our routine and she can't seem to fall asleep before 11 pm (she's four now). The tub and bedtime routine usually does it for her now!

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