Big age difference between you and your spouse, does it matter to you or just to others?

Kristina - posted on 11/06/2009 ( 27 moms have responded )

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There is a 10 year age difference between myself and my husband. We have been married for over 12 years. Just curious if any of you out there find yourself at different stages of perspective than your spouse raising your children. Or do you find other people make a big deal out of it, and you and your spouse find it has no affect at all. We manage well : ) Just curious!

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Sarah - posted on 11/08/2009

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Me and my husband are 19 years apart. We have had a few people here n there have a problem with it but for the most part so one has found it offensive or upset anyone. We have one on the way now and it seems to help every one to see how in love and happy we are beside the age difference.

Cindy - posted on 11/09/2009

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My husband and I are 11 years apart and we always seem to be on the same page when it comes to our 15 months old twin sons! We were not able to have children for long so I think that makes a difference in how we feel about raising our children. We have so much fun with our babies. We are older parents and they seem to be keeping us young! We love being parents and love working together to make sure our sons have a great home life. Our families and friends think we are doing a great job with the boys and we have so much support from everyone.

Elise - posted on 11/02/2012

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Hello all, this is such an old post but here goes! I met my honey who is 18yrs older in a deli parking lot. I basically shy stalked the man for months. The day I got the courage to talk to him, I had an entire conversation planned out and the best that came out was "You're so attractive, every time I see you I'm like damn' and he replied "so are you, everytime I see you I'm like damn!" Yes, that was what came out our mouths. Thereafter, we avoided each other for weeks. Then we met up and pretended to be talking on our phones and my heart was beating the entire time. Years later, we are very happy. I think he is a sweet, country. hottie, and he thinks I'm a sweet island girl, hottie. It is a 2nd marriage for us both. I know as we age and life happens, there will be periods of contention. But, it's all just a part of life and relationships.

Tara - posted on 11/06/2009

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My husband and I are 6 years apart (he's the younger) and we haven't noticed any difference in how we deal with things although sometimes I'll say I remember something from my childhood and he won't because of the age difference. We both have very similar interests and are completely on the same page when it comes to raising our girls.

It hasn't seemed to make a difference for either of our families, except that his brother actually got married again because he decided to date an older woman when he saw how happy my husband and I were :)

Sharon - posted on 11/06/2009

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12 years apart. Together for 15 years. I don't give a crap what anyone says. No one dares say anything to me anyway. If they don't like it they can kiss a dogs ass. He suits me and I suit him. Thats all that matters.

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Ajaz - posted on 03/10/2013

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Look I am still single but I think there is no need for age in marriage because it requires understanding nd love so marriage don' t need any age

Jeanne Christine - posted on 07/31/2012

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ciao!
I am 34 years old and my husband is 52 we have 18 years gap and there is nothing wrong between our relationship I love being pampered and love by my husband he is my best friend and the man of my life.I just worried because our daughter had a condition "20 nail dystrophy" and according to her doctors it was from her descendants but none of us has I'm just wandering if this is the result of having a big different in our age gap.Anyone of you had this kind of experience wit your kids I would also appreciate you comments.God bless you all.

Anita - posted on 11/08/2009

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My husband and I are 13 years apart. I am his third wife. He divorced his first wife and his second died of Breast Cancer. The odd thing in our relationship is that while I am 13 years younger than my husband, my eldest step-son is 14 years younger than me! My daughter was born about 2 weeks after my stepsons entered college. We have so much fun with it. People are always surprised when they find out how old my husband is. It doesn't bother us...though he admittedly gets in his "old man" mode when we argue. We find that if we don't make a big deal out of it, no one else will. We do however have some trouble finding other couples that both of us feel completely comfortable with. That is partly due to the difference in our children's ages.

Tanya - posted on 11/06/2009

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I am 32 years old and my husband is 50 years old. It is a second marriage for both of us. However, I feel that we compliment each others parenting styles and seem to have more in common then people may know just from a glance. We have very old fashioned values and we have a great family dynamic. If others have an issue with it than don't look but my kids, husband, and I are all very happy as a family unit.

Kristina - posted on 11/06/2009

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Thanks everyone! My husband and I have been together for 15 years (married 12). He is a wonderful husband and father. There are differences in the way we look at raising our kids but it has nothing to do with our ages. It primarily stems from the way we each were raised differently. I think at any age you can manage to find a common ground in any given situation whether it be your marriage or raising your children. When I was younger many people had a problem with me dating an "older man", but I had the support of my parents, and he had the support of his. They knew we truly loved one another and would take care of each other, and in the end, that is what really matters. As we all know life is hard sometimes, and there is no one we would rather have helping us start and raise a family than the one person that truly gets us, no matter what their age is. So to all you moms out there who share this common bond of being significantly older or young than your man congratulations on finding "him". Too many ladies never do!

Brandy - posted on 11/06/2009

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My fiance and I are 12 years apart. I am 22 and he is 34. When we first starting dating I would just tell people who asked that we meet at the middle because I was 18 and he was 30 and we both acted like we were 25. Actually, for the first couple months, I thought he was 25. I never thought to ask because he looks young for his age and he fit in with the rest of my friends in their 20's. I'm glad I didn't ask now because if we hadn't started dating yet and I found out he was 30, I might have thought it was weird and not dated him. There have been a few things since my daughter was born that we have had different opinions on but we are good at compromising and if one person has a really strong opinion about something, we will usually try it their way for a while and if it doesn't work, make a new plan. Nobody has really made a big deal of it, some people are caught off guard when we tell them, but other than that, we haven't really had any problems with it.

Daletta - posted on 11/06/2009

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Just to others because they don't really know hands on how you two feel about each other

Lauren - posted on 11/06/2009

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There is a 15 yr difference between my spouse and I. He had two kids before we ever got together and we have a 4 month old together now. I am the younger one and well most of the time we manage. Mostly its others who see a problem with our age difference....i do think about it sometimes though and it comes up in our arguments.

Brenda - posted on 11/06/2009

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My husband is 15 years my senior. There are some generational differences in the things we view as ok vs not ok especially in regards to the kids, but we usually can find common ground.

Lucy - posted on 11/06/2009

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hi kristina
there is 10 years between myself and my partner also and i never think of the age difference at all. it doesn't affect our standing on how to raise our children, we both have the same feelings on this anyway. family and friends don't make a big thing out of it either, at least not to our faces! i think anyone that knows us knows we are well suited despite the age gap. you wouldn't think john was 10 years older than me if you met him, he is a big kid himself!
Regards, Lucy

Sunni Chea - posted on 11/06/2009

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My husband and I are nearly 15 yrs apart. My problem is that he still acts 18! I"m actually the one who wants to settle down, and can't get HIM too. Lol! I don't even think about our age difference. It doesn't even seem like there is one. Although, my mom and step dad are 12 yrs apart, and my mother has told me that eventually It will start being different. She told me he will just want to stay at home, and I will want to go out and do stuff. Exactly like Ali said. I D K though because he doesn't seem like he will ever grow up... *sigh

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My husband and i are 5 years apart and my mom and her new husband are 9 years apart and my father and his wife are like 11 years apart. Age is just a number. I would have to agree that sometimes issues with parenting to arise because of how things were done with them as a child but not really any age related ones. I know another couples with 20+ years of difference and they say the same. Its usually the families and so called friends who butt in making things difficult

Jennifer - posted on 11/06/2009

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Hi! I dont think age is even a issue when i tcomes to raising children. My husband and i are 5 years apart and we have our difference in how we tend to our little ones. (19 months and 9 months). but at the same time i know people the same age as me that do things totally different. age doesnt matter... it's how you & your spouse were raised that makes the difference. But you have to be fair and listen to each others idea and help one another out when they need it. But at the same time you dont want them to feel like you are "telling" them how to raise the children, just that you are giving them idea or your opinion but they are free to do it how ever they think is right.

Erica - posted on 11/06/2009

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My hubby and I are 11 years apart, I'm 22 and he's 33. We both have children from a previous marriage. I thought there would be a big issue with our age difference, but because he was older it meant that he already knew what he wanted in life, was stable and a little more mature than most of the men my age are. He and I get along great and he tells me I make him "feel younger" and he's lucky to have someone my age attracted to him. So far, no mean comments about the age difference but as long as the two of you are happy, who cares??

Tracy - posted on 11/06/2009

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Hi Hun

There is 19yrs between myself and Hubby. Yes at times there are some disagreements on how we raise the LO, as he feels he has done it all before(has a 21yr old and 11yr old) But to be totally honest he leaves it all to me now as he works away and is ardly ever at home.

In the beginning we did have some comments from others about the age difference but now no-one mentions it(well apart from to say how lucky he is to have me).

Amber - posted on 11/06/2009

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Dh and I are 14 years apart. We agree on pratically everything! My family doesn't make a deal out of it. Since he's young looking my friends are surprised when they find out how old he is, but thats it.

Ali - posted on 11/06/2009

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Great question! My husband and I are even further apart at 14 years. I think we are on the same page mentally with our kids but he works more now compared to when we just had one child so how he has reacted and bonded with our 2nd has been different. If you were asking the question in relation to views on life we are starting to notice differences. We have been together 10 years (married for 5) and he i starting to slow down and become a homebody where I'm still happy to go to places with big crowds eg the races, concerts etc!

Kay - posted on 11/06/2009

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My husband and I are 11 years apart. We are very different people, I keep him young!! We've been together 5 years & have just had our 2nd child, we don't have any age related issues :)

Robin - posted on 11/06/2009

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There are 22 years difference between myself and my husband. We have been married for 33 years. There have been few issues due to the age difference, but none that matter. If someone thinks it is a big deal or a problem...it is their promblem, not yours. Stay happy and don't worry to much about what others think!

Rebecca - posted on 11/06/2009

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Well my fiance and I are 13 years apart. He has 2 older kids from a previous marriage and we have one on the way. Our thought process on displine and things vary drastically but we have a common ground and understanding why our opinoins are so different. The age thing does cause some issues but age is just really a number, It doesn't define who you are or what your about.

Priscilla - posted on 11/06/2009

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My husband and I are 8 years apart. I think It does have an effect not just on how we raise our kids but also our relationship and our views of life. Good question

Tiffany - posted on 11/06/2009

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My husband and I are 12 years apart. I am 26, and he will be 39 next week (its like 12 years, 3 months or something like that! lol) We manage just fine. We are pretty much on the same page with everything. Of course my family likes to push the age issue once in a while, more so when we first got together (I was 21, he was 33)

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