Birth control for a 16yr old?

Carolyn - posted on 02/18/2009 ( 42 moms have responded )

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I think it's good idea, but I feel like I'm encouraging her to have sex. Any suggestions?

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Laura - posted on 09/03/2012

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Although I do not approve of my child being sexually active, I discussed the pros and cons with her and after an experience of forgetting to take pills correctly we chose Implenon.

Shannon - posted on 03/05/2009

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You are not encouraging her to have sex. You are teaching her to be responsible. You are her mother and you know what is best for her. I know of kids who started birth control a lot younger than 16. I am a big advocate for the HPV shot. I have HPV and didn't know it & ended up getting cervical cancer. Protect your daughter & her future!

[deleted account]

My daughter is 15,and shejust confided in me, that she has just had protected sex for the first time. I was hurt, and disappointed, but our first conversation was about getting checked out and on birth control. I see so many girls out there having children, and some even desperate enough to throw them in dumpsters. I will do my best as her Mother to make sure thats not my daughters path. I also discussed with her, that the birth control is not a free pass for sex. we talked about all the paths sex can take, even on the birth control. And we talked long and hard about abstenance. We can only educate them, and trust them to make the right choices. I hope I have helped.

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Regina - posted on 03/05/2009

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If she is asking for it then absolutely b/c if she is asking you for it she is definately planning on having sex so you should do the safe thing and get her protected. If they are brave enough to ask for it they are brave enough to do "it". Good luck.

Debbie - posted on 03/04/2009

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I think it is better to be proactive rather then reactive when you find out she is sexually active (which hopefully she is not) I am the mother of a 16 yr old boy and 14 yr old boy - I listen to their friends and I am all for early birth control. I personally use the Nuva Ring and think it is awesome.  I think it would be great for busy women and would suggest it to my daughter if I had one.

Ann - posted on 03/03/2009

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Absolutely, 100%, hands down, YES!!! I have a lot of years ahead of me before I even have to think about this, but I know so many girls that didn't have this option. Kudos to you for being an open minded person!! Have you talked to the two of them together to discuss their safety...etc? Just a thought. I would have to say Depo is a better option for a forgetful teenager, but at the same time, if she is going to be responsible enough to have sex, she should be responsible enough to take a pill every day. Also, talk to the gynecologist. They might be able to tell you more about all the options.

Jennifer - posted on 03/03/2009

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I don't have a teenage daughter or anything but I'm thinking of myself as a teenager.  I don't think it's a good idea.  I feel that with all of the side effects that other birth control method have and the fact that they don't protect against STDs like condems it just doesn't make sense.  For me the reason I waited so long to lose my virginity wasn't getting pregnant as much as STDs.  I think talking to her about sex and all of it's consequences which I'm sure you've already done and then telling her to use condems every time if she does choose to have sex would be a better choice.   This is only my opinion but I hope it helps.

April - posted on 03/01/2009

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in talking to your daughter about sex and birth control, PLEASE make sure you also talk about what happens if the birth control doesnt work, if she does get pregnant--will she drop out of school, will she and her boyfriend get married? does she plan on having the baby and raising him/her, or would she put the baby up for adoption ? not to terrify her, but if she is having sex and wanting to use birth control like a grown up, she needs to face the facts that they only work some of the time. I dont know what your beliefs are, but I became pregnant on the pill, I was 20 and unmarried and abortion is not in my option list. I think its awesome that you and your daughter can talk about this, and that you are trying to keep her safe. just make sure she has ALL of the facts. just to note, my daughter is now 8, her dad and I were married a month after she was born, and she has 4 sisters and brothers!

Robin - posted on 03/01/2009

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I think it is a great idea. I helped a friend of mine with her teenager, she was 14. Her daughter came to me and told me she was active and i walked her through it then helped he to talk to her mom about it. Noe they have an even better relationship

Doreen - posted on 03/01/2009

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my Dr. would not give mine the ring at that age, but went with the shots every 3 months at Drs office. Also had discussions with her on safe sex practices as it does not protect against STDs. She is 23 now and I'm not a grandmother so all is good. And even if you didn't approve she is 16 and can always go to planned parenthood and get birth control without your knowledge. I think you are lucky to be able to talk openly with your daughter communication is so important.

Jen - posted on 02/28/2009

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Great idea.  So much better than becoming a grandma too soon.  The ring is great, but she has to be comfortable enough with her body to put it in and take it out (some teens are not). And she should still use condoms of course (even though they don't protect against HPV and herpes very well).  70% of women gain weight on the Depo shot, so if she already struggles with that or it would be very concerning to her (as it is to most girls) I would choose something else. 

Brooke - posted on 02/28/2009

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 i think its a great idea my mom never had the talk with me  and yes schools have the talk but .... what students really  listen to the sex talk from the  teachers.. the fact is today  high school is horibal  for  pushing teens  to make bad judgement calls... and there are teens  who  will wait but  polls  show more and more are getting sexualy active,.... and  there really is no way  for stoping them  even if you have  them  on house arest  about 43% of teen girls  confess to having  sex at  school.. and i know when i  was in  high school ( catholic high school)  it wasn't uncommon  to hear  of sex in the stair wells.. so the  only thing  you  can really  do  is aware them and  ask them if they want to start  birthcontrol...... its great for girls with acne and  you  know when your period is coming.. i know  i will be  awareing my daughter when she starts highschool.. but  really  its all up to the moms....

April - posted on 02/28/2009

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i have also thought about the same thing and mine is only  a year old  but i think it's a goog idea  it's not that u wants her to have sex but you are concern if she is and u wants her to be protected .

Ola - posted on 02/28/2009

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Hi Carolyn. I think it's great that you and your daughter are even having these conversation. it shows responsibility on both of your parts. For B/C suggestion, I would suggest Depo-Provera. It's a shot received Once every Three months. So you won't have to question her or worry yourself if she's taken a pill or not. It's very fool proof. I speak from experience with it. I used it the for three years with my husband and we were accident free. Once I was ready mentally and financially to have children. I just simply stopped taking it. I do caution, It does not prevent fron STD's, some side effects include weight gain, hair loss, and light to no periods at all. I suggest you speak to your OBGYN. I tell you though It works and you won't be a grandma at a young age. Lol. All jokes asie. i would 100% reccomend this.

Theresa - posted on 02/19/2009

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Personally I think you have a fantastic relationship with your daughter to be so open and this will make a huge difference. There is a movie called KIDS I saw years ago that had a boy who only slept with young virgins and who had HIV but didnt know it. It is an excellent movie perhaps your daughter might like it. Whilst the risk is low for HIV many others are alot more prevalent and I think talking to a good doctor or teacher who your daughter respects would be very beneficial.

Kirsty - posted on 02/18/2009

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Quoting lisa:



Quoting Valerie:




Why do you think it is a good idea? How does she even know who she wants to be? What she wants to do?  Sex doesn't answer those question.  Talk with her, listen to what her ideas are and help direct her to be her best.  Mom glad you care about your daugther.








Personally I say NO to birth control unless she is already having sex. My 22 year just got married and they didn't do anything the year they dated encluding kissing! She wanted to set an example for the young girls in the youth group she teaches. They have been married over two months are totally in love.










i agree 16 is to young to be taking birth control and if more parents would talk to their daughters about waiting for marrage i think  we woulden't have so many confussed young girls!!!



 



thats all good and well saying wait for marraige but what happens if something happen to your child someone took advantage of her in anyway, i would perferr my daughter to be at least protected in that way.. but as long as her mum and her have a open relationship and they can talk about these things then her mum can steer her in the right directions.. she could of just done it with out talking to her mum.





 

Stacey - posted on 02/18/2009

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try and encourage her to use condoms instead. I know every kid that age learns about STD’s but, most still have a false sense of security. She is only 16 and this will more than likely not be her only sexual encounter. My husband has slept with far more people then I have and he is STD free because he religiously used condoms. I, on the other hand, used birth control instead of condoms and I am lucky that what I carry is not life threatening. The shame and burden of carrying an STD is something I wouldn’t wish on any one. Besides STD’s I am not convinced that birth control is entirely safe to use long term. If she starts using it at 16, that’s a long time adding excess hormones to her body she doesn’t need.

Kirsty - posted on 02/18/2009

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Quoting Carolyn:

Birth control for a 16yr old?

I think it's good idea, but I feel like I'm encouraging her to have sex. Any suggestions?


i think its a good idea as one it can help regulate periods. i dont think it engourages sex, if you are honest with her and then she will feel she can be honest with you. is she thinking of having sex? it is much better then her coming home and saying she is having a baby, i went on the pill when i was 16 but didnt have sex until i was close to 18 so it doesnt mean if she goes on it she is goign to have sex. but if she is going on the pill as she is going to have sex you need to talk to her about std and she needs to carry condoms as well and then at least she is safe in always.

Amie - posted on 02/18/2009

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I don't think there's anything wrong with it. She's admitted to having sex I believe you said in another post and wants to do it to be even safer than just condoms. You're doing a fine job, especially not freaking out about your daughter having sex. I remember when my mom found out when I was 16. She had a melt down, which in turn only caused me to stop talking to her about it. =) You're teaching her she can come to you and you'll treat her as an equal. She's showing great signs of responsibility in her actions as well. You're doing great, and your daughter is proof of that! =) Best of luck! If you choose the pill I'd suggest taking it every morning or evening. Some time that you're most likely around to just to give her a reminder in case she does forget.

Traci - posted on 02/18/2009

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oh ya and if you do go with the pill, if she has a cell phone have her set an alarm on it to go off everyday to remind her, works like a charm you know kids never go anywhere without their cell phones.

Traci - posted on 02/18/2009

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i also showed my son pixs of all std's and he was so grossed out he said maybe ill stick to just kissing for now. SHEW!!

Keela - posted on 02/18/2009

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Also to get on Birth control I had to get a pap smear which hurt and was very unappealing.

Keela - posted on 02/18/2009

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I was put on birth control when I entered 9th grade. I was told it was to regulate my periods. I was a virign until senior year. It did not give me the green light to have sex, becuase I knew the facts , was scared of the pain and STD's. My parents showed me picture of herpes and that was enough for me to not do it.

Traci - posted on 02/18/2009

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their gonna do it reguardless, better safe than sorry. just tell them to use a condom too. i have these kind of talks with my 13 yr old boy all the time and he and i are sooo close but when hes ready i truly dont think ill be able to stop him and i hope the girl hes with mother has her on it and they use condom. do whats in your gut thats most important.good luck

Christie - posted on 02/18/2009

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I'm currently work in a ob/gyn practice.  I understand you feel like you are encouraging to have sex but it is a part of life.  You definatly want to have the lines of communication open.  Introduce her to a gyn.  This way she can have a profession point of view.  Many doctors will consult on birth control.  The Doctor will determine what is right for her.  It's also a good opportunity for her to have all of her questions answered.   

[deleted account]

I don't think 16 years is too young, it's sad, but true with young women today. Birth control is a very good idea for a young woman. The most powerful loving thing you can do is educate her about sex. She has already admitted to being active, thank god for her honesty! You can do your part and tell her everything about protection and STI's, and the risks. It shows her how much you really care! I think going to see a doctor to talk about the right birth control for her will be the best way to go, also for regular pap smears that every woman needs.

Samantha - posted on 02/18/2009

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ITS A GREAT IDEA. IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU ARE ENCOURAGING HER TO HAVE SEX, ITS JUST THAT YOU ARE SAFE GUARDING HER FROM AN UN WANTED PREGNANCY. IRRESPECTIVE ON THE UPBRINGING OF A CHILD, IF THE CHILD WANTS TO EXPLORE HE OR SHE WILL, WHICH DOES NOT MEAN WE ARE BAD PARENTS, PEER PRESSURE IS A BIG CONTRIBUTION.
ALSO SHOULD THE KID BE RAPED ATLEAST SHE'D HAVE ONE LESS WORRY OF AN UNWANBTED PREGNANCY OR ABORTION..................

Rebecca - posted on 02/18/2009

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I think it is a great idea, you are not encouraging sex you are encouraging responsibility and safety when she does have sex. The fact that you can talk openly with her about these important issues is a great achievement i hope one day i can do the same with my daughter. The main tip i have is to make her aware that birth control methods are not always 100% effective. Using condoms not only protects her from STD's but unplanned pregnancy aswell. I am 19 with a 9 month old and i became pregnant on the pill.

[deleted account]

I dont think its to young, cause no matter what anyone thinks/says, young girls ARE having sex at that age, and some of them ARE having babies at that age to.  and if you know that she is, then just let her know that young girls are having babies and everything. Dont force her to go on birth control, cause if you do she wont take it, trust me, my parents forced me to go on birth control when i was that age, and i just pretended to take it, so dont force her, she will if she wants to, and if she doesnt, then just be happy that they ARE using condoms. and be open and non judgmental cause it'll help that much more, with everything.

And there are different kinds of birth control other than the pill. I think I've tried ever kind of birth control in the book,....  The pill wasnt for me, its good but i kept forgetting about it.  theres the shot (depo provera), which i HATED, it effed my cycle up so bad, im just somewhat getting back on track and i got it in june, and i gained like 45lbs..... hmmm theres the Nuva Ring... i didnt like that either, it was to uncomfortable... the patch, i didnt like it, just because, then theres the IUD which i havent tried, but i think thats only reccomended for ladies that have had babies, and that is quite pricey, but your good for five years...... so idunno, there is alot of different kinds, so maybe go talk to your doc/ gyno with her and they can help you out more... and will help you find one that will work for her if she wants to be on birth control.  



anyways good luck!

[deleted account]

I dont think its to young, cause no matter what anyone thinks/says, young girls ARE having sex at that age, and some of them ARE having babies at that age to.  and if you know that she is, then just let her know that young girls are having babies and everything. Dont force her to go on birth control, cause if you do she wont take it, trust me, my parents forced me to go on birth control when i was that age, and i just pretended to take it, so dont force her, she will if she wants to, and if she doesnt, then just be happy that they ARE using condoms. and be open and non judgmental cause it'll help that much more, with everything.

And there are different kinds of birth control other than the pill. I think I've tried ever kind of birth control in the book,....  The pill wasnt for me, its good but i kept forgetting about it.  theres the shot (depo provera), which i HATED, it effed my cycle up so bad, im just somewhat getting back on track and i got it in june, and i gained like 45lbs..... hmmm theres the Nuva Ring... i didnt like that either, it was to uncomfortable... the patch, i didnt like it, just because, then theres the IUD which i havent tried, but i think thats only reccomended for ladies that have had babies, and that is quite pricey, but your good for five years...... so idunno, there is alot of different kinds, so maybe go talk to your doc/ gyno with her and they can help you out more... and will help you find one that will work for her if she wants to be on birth control.  



anyways good luck!

Samantha - posted on 02/18/2009

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I think if she is wanting it, it's better to be safe then sorry. For the best kind, go to your doctor, they will try some out, I had to try about 3 until I found the right kind, each have different hormone levels and some can't take certain levels.

Corrie - posted on 02/18/2009

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I think that it is a bad idea, but it sounds like you have already made your choice.  I think that the depo shot would be a good idea.  I think it lasts three months.  I think the pill is too unreliable for a teenager and I worked with a girl that struggled with the ring as well.  STD's are rampant among teenagers.  So whatever you decide to go with you will want to make sure that she is still using condoms and getting tested regularly.

Carolyn - posted on 02/18/2009

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She does have aspirations of going to college, & since I can't convince her to stop.... I just feel like it's a double edged sword, & she'll get cut sooner or later. I've been wrestling with this demon for a year now (not her, just this birth control thing!) I apreciate any discusion on this, it is nice to get feedback!!

Jessi - posted on 02/18/2009

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ha, apparently it took me so long to write that a bunch of threads got posted in the mean time..so if shes already admitted to doing it, then your a step ahead with the communication thing and go for the birth control! it only takes once with no condom.

good luck :)

Jessi - posted on 02/18/2009

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I think its a very good idea. Just let her know your NOT encouraging her to have sex, want her to wait till shes ready etc, and that she still has to use a condom every time etc.(my friends mom used pictures of genatal warts etc to make her point on condoms VERY clear. also that abstinence was the only true way to be completly safe.) im 21 but i remember 16 pretty well, and my mom was clueless and they had no idea what i was doing, and i had to sneak around to be put on birthcontrol. kudos for taking the upper hand. like the other ladies said talk to her, and make sure you have open and non jugemental communication. i think the biggest mistake my mom ever made (not purpousfully im sure.. ) was not being open to communication.I always felt like I would get in trouble or judged etc.

ohh! and research different kinds, I was on depo provera for about 3 years, and it worked great but apparently there are some pretty serious side effeects that my dr never made me aware of.

just suggestions though :-)

Priscilla - posted on 02/18/2009

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to be honest, they'll do it anyways! I did. So yes, better be safe then sorry.

Carolyn - posted on 02/18/2009

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She does have a boyfriend, & they admitted that they are active. Right now they're using just condoms, but I know accidents can happen. We've had the STD talks, she's very informed. (Just naive!)

Valerie - posted on 02/18/2009

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Why do you think it is a good idea? How does she even know who she wants to be? What she wants to do?  Sex doesn't answer those question.  Talk with her, listen to what her ideas are and help direct her to be her best.  Mom glad you care about your daugther.



Personally I say NO to birth control unless she is already having sex. My 22 year just got married and they didn't do anything the year they dated encluding kissing! She wanted to set an example for the young girls in the youth group she teaches. They have been married over two months are totally in love.

Leanne - posted on 02/18/2009

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Quoting Carolyn:

Birth control for a 16yr old?

I think it's good idea, but I feel like I'm encouraging her to have sex. Any suggestions?


I reckon it's a good idea. Regardless of your beliefs around teenage sex, she is going to make that decision herself.



If you put her on birth control, at least the risk of pregnancy is reduced. But you still need to school her up on protecting herself from STDs and the implications that poses to her getting pregnant later on down the line, should she contract an STD now.



The reality is we all do silly things when we're teenagers and some of us are lucky enough to get away with it and some of us aren't so lucky. If you put her on birth control, you're minimising the chances of her getting unlucky. That's my way of thinking anyway.



Ask me in 15 years time, when I'll be experiencing the same predicament with my daughter ;)

Carolyn - posted on 02/18/2009

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Thanks, she's all for it. Do you have any suggestons as to which kind would be easiest? I don't want her to miss a pill, what about that ring?

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