Biting Behaviours...

Francesca - posted on 04/12/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

502

36

My beautiful 11 month old daughter has a bit of a biting problem. This behaviour started during nursing and has somewhat transformed. I can categorize it two different ways.



When she nurses before bed, she often nodds off. When she does, she clenches her jaw, and bites me, cases me much discomfort. I know that she doesn't do this on purpose. And I have somewhat come to terms with this type of accidental bite (but if there are suggestions...besides weaning - I would gladly take them)



But the second type of bite worries me some. I understand that this bite is when she is frustrated. If I am not paying attention, or doing what she wants she bites me. For example, if she is tired from playing and has decided she wants an early nap, if I get distracted, or talk to someone or don't look at her when I nurse her. I was over for a playdate with a friend. She was on the floor playing with the other boy. I started chatting with my friend. She cruised over to me and bit me. It seems like if I break eye contact during her waking moments for any reason I get bitten. For these type of bites, well, I have tried every bit of advice I have been offered from my own network and am desperate to nip this behaviour in the butt as soon as I can. She doesn't bite anyone else. Not Daddy, not other kids, just me.



I have tried the Dr. Sears method (which slightly mortified me at first) with the whole nursing bit and it only encouraged the behavour more. I tried the Dr. Brown's method (and still use it even with its lack of success) where I have tried to remove her from situation. I say No, that hurts and put her down away from me. It doesn't matter if I pick her back up after a mintue or much later she will remember and bit me the moment I come back near her. This too seems to encourage it. My Dh witnessed one particularly bad day (she tends not too do it when Daddy's home) and he took some advice from my father. He bit her. I didn't previously take his advice because I found it counter productive. Well, That too encouraged it more. Now she is constantly putting her fingers in everyone's mouth to get bitten. My father says my Dh didn't do it hard enough but I am not willing to try that again. I found ignoring it at least doesn't encourage her to do it repetitively, but she still does it.



She is not understimulated. I switch up her toys so she doesn't get bored. We do tons of activities and playgroups every day. I never leave her in a room alone when she is awake. I mean, I have a play area in the kitchen set up so I can clean the dishes without worry. She loves her routine and between her naps and bedtime she gets about 14 hours of sleep a day. What am I doing wrong? Why only me?



My daughter is otherwise a great kid. She rarely cries. Super smart. She already has a few words up her sleeve. She is a shy, sweet baby, but boy is she stubborn.



I still use the Dr. Brown method consistantly because it makes the most sense to me, and I hope that if I am consistant and persistant she will eventually get it. But I would like to know if anyone else have a bitter? How did you cope? What worked well for you?



Thank you for any and all advice. Her six little teeth are packing an aweful punch lately!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

4 Comments

View replies by

Francesca - posted on 04/13/2010

502

36

Charlene-Thanks for your perspective. Luckily my daughter has never bitten anyone else. Good luck with your ackward birthday situation.

Rebecca-How long did it last? Currently Ella has a time out spot that is away from anything fun. And let her know in a stern voice that No, biting hurts. From what I read 11 months is too early to start it, but this was the only solution that makes sense. It just doesn't seem to work. Today I put her in it, and we had company over. She could hear my grandmother and started chirping Hi over and over again from her spot. There is no correlation yet....well maybe thats why they say she is too young...ARG.

Growling was effective for you? I will have to try that with Ella tomorow if and when she bites. Thanks! I will keep you updated.

Charlene - posted on 04/13/2010

115

28

I have 2 boys, Dylan will be 3, Kyle will be 1 yr and neither of them were bitters, but they both have been bitten by our friends daughter she is 1 1/2 yrs. She has been bitting for a while, the kids at daycare, her cousin who is smaller then her but close in age. She once left a mark on her cheek that lasted over 2 weeks. They try not to bring her around anymore, cuz they are scared that she will get bitten again. They told us that she only bit kids that are smaller then her and same reasons as yours, also she doesn't talk, maybe knows a couple of words. There are so many reasons why a child bites! When my boys got bitten, first it was Kyle, she was holding him and paying attention to him and her daughter got jealous and wanted her mommy to pick her up, so later that evening Kyle was on the floor and I went outside with the girls for a few minutes and my husband and hers were supposed to be watching him and her, well she saw her momment and grabbed his arm and bit his hand hard, he screamed, I ran in so fast, thank God she didn't break skin! So when we were invited to go to there house after that I didn't want to bring Kyle with me, so we got his aunty to watch him overnight. We brought Dylan he loves to play with their 5 yr old, well that night he got bit. He was playing by the couch and she went over to him and tryed to take the toy away from him and he wouldn't let her so she grabbed his arm and bit him on the wrist.
So now that this has happened I don't want to bring my children with us when we visit, which ya its good cuz we can have a break, but sucks cuz my son can't play with their son. I can't really invite them here cuz I can't tell her she can't bring her daughter but she can bring her son and other daughter. I'm in a hard situation my boys Birthdays are coming up and normally we invite them but I'm scared my kids will get bit again! I can't really talk to the mom she gets upset when given advice and the dad I have told him how I felt and he understands where I'm coming from. He said he'll put his son's old hockey helmet on her. I personnally feel that if thats what you have to do then fine do it, but I doubt the mom will have anything to do with that. I personnally feel that if it was my chld that is bitting I wouldn't bring her to places where she can bite chldren or if you have to bring her then keep her in a playpen or somehow seperate from the other children. Also needs to be watched like a hawk, which thse people don't do! Its really hard situation to deal with and I have heard a few ways people deal with it, bitting htem back, getting them to bit themself by you pressing their arm against their teeth. I'm sure there is more, try looking it up and you'll find a few methods and try everyone if have to. just do remember one thing she will outgrow it evenually, hopefully sooner rather then later. Good luck I hope she stops soon and sorry that this doesn't help you much!

Rebecca - posted on 04/12/2010

220

11

Oh- with the sleep clenching I try to get it out of his mouth before he clenches or if I don't get in first I put my finger in his mouth and put my fingers in the way of his teeth so I can get it out without waking him. sometimes a finger in the corner of his mouth is all it will take to make him unclench and let go. He is 13 months and still clenches so I guess it's a hazard that comes with the job!



It gets better when they get more teeth. Henri had sharp teeth until his cuspids grew. which made biting hurt more.



I caught him biting his own fingers the other day so I guess he has figured out that biting hurts now.

Rebecca - posted on 04/12/2010

220

11

This may not help but My son had a biting habit. When feeding he use to bite mainly when I wasn't paying attention to what he wanted. Just my natural reaction and growling would make him cry a bit and then it stopped for a while.



Then he started biting everyone. so we don't let his mouth come in contact with us at all (through paranoia). He was only trying to bite and pull our clothes and he would get our skin while doing it. Now that has stopped and we can relax a bit.



Up until recently he started biting my nipple and stretching it. (spiteful) It took a while but I realised it was because he wanted to get down. But if I let him down it would mean it was alright to bite me!! So I persevered with it and held him away from my breast so he couldn't bite me but I wouldn't let him down until he stopped being spiteful and squirmy. He has now grown out of that.



I'm sure that wasn't much help but my guess is that most children go through one or more biting stages and then they grow out of it unless it is encouraged.