boyfriend feeling tied up cuz of my daughter.friends since school 13yrs.dating 2yrs.what 2 do?

VENESSA - posted on 07/16/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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my bf and i known each other for 13yrs since high school.been together for about 2yrs.he hates the fact that he feels tied up cuz of my daughter.at first when we were dating,we saw each other often.,but as my daughter was growing up,i needed to teach her things like a mom should to develope her skills and potty traine you know.shes 3.he wants to be number one.i have tols him you,you cannot make me choose cuz you are both equaly important in my life,but daughter is extra more".

he fell in love with me in high school.i fell for him after high school.we reunited 9 yrs after and i miss him so much.he was the only one i ever hung out the most in high school and at his house than any of my other friend.

i knew the consiquences and risk.it would devistate me forever if we happen to break up and not only we lose our relationship,but our special friendship too.

of course he doesnt have kids himself.i am his first girlfriend.he looks up to Tom Lykis for woman advice (former radio host on 720am).he think he's like his "dad".(go to youtube and type that name and you know what i mean.)

i told him,"your not tom lykis and you can't follow his advice on women cuz you havent been there.he has.he's been maried 4 time and divorced 4times so he lost faith in women and knows whats up".my bf tries to be like him which is stupid.

anyways,how can i make us work so he wont feel tied up?

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Jodi - posted on 07/16/2011

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He sounds incredibly selfish IMO. His feelings of "being tied up" are HIS issue, not yours. It's not up to YOU to solve it. You are doing your job as the mother to your daughter, as you should. If he can't understand that, he really isn't worth your time.

Rachel - posted on 07/16/2011

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He should have known when the two of you got together that your child will always come first that is how it should be. She is your Daughter she is a child and needs you. I am with a guy who I have known since I was about 11 we were friends for years but then started dating about 2 1/2 years ago he knew that I had a son my little boy was 21 months old and I told him that my child will always come first and he understood that. Now we have a 17month old daughter and he knows that they come first because they are children and need to be taken care of and he is an adult and can take care of himself. If he ever considered trying to make me choose between him and my children he would be sitting out on the street no matter how much I love him my children will always win that battle they are my life and i would choose them over anyone. Your Boyfriend needs to realize when he got with you that the relationship isnt just with you the relationship is with your little girl as well. It is not your job to not make him feel tied down that is part of being a family there are things you simply can not do once you have children and when he got with you he became part of a family. good luck

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Katherine - posted on 07/16/2011

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It sounds like he needs to grow up IMO. That IS very selfish, your daughter needs you and he should understand that. He maybe feels neglected? But it's still no excuse.

I would tell him you are a package deal and what you see is what you get.....there is no more.

Amy - posted on 07/16/2011

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Rachel is right, your daughter comes first! You have already explained to him that she will always be number one, it seems odd to me that he thinks he should be number one. If I were you I would probably move on since you've already tried explaining it to him and he's not understanding, any man who thinks they should be more important then your children isn't worth the time of day.

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