breast feeding my 4 yr old

Vicky - posted on 07/22/2009

She will be starting school soon, and it may be a toipc she brings up to a class mate. Well that child say something to their parents, they may take it the wrong way and now, u have the school involved,etc.... But personaly I think shes to big. She's not weaned yet maybe because u havent let her. Yes it's hard to let them grow up, I have a boy 17 well be 18 in a few months, and I have a girl who will be 6 next week. They grow up , we just have to deal with it. Good luck!!!

--- - posted on 07/22/2009

thanks guys for the encouraging words. I am going to lock the thread now just so it doesn't get out of hand.

Casey - posted on 07/22/2009

Diane- I'm just wondering, why exactly you believe that once your child reaches certain milestones, its suddenly inappropriate to breastfeed... It sounds clever and witty to say that but is there any real, educated reasoning behind that theory? I'm not looking to start a fight, this is all with a friendly/curious attitude:)

Diane - posted on 07/22/2009

By the way, Diana, any dentist will tell you that putting a child to bed with a bottle AT ANY AGE is a big No No - just ask them

Diane - posted on 07/22/2009

What does your hubby think? He's probably upset that the kid gets more action than he does! LOL! JK...... I can't believe there are SO many folks out there who agree with you and think this is okay. I nursed both of my children and believe that it is best BUT personally I think when a kid is big enough to climb up and undo your blouse themselves, its time to stop

--- - posted on 07/22/2009

Heather why does anyone post anything? I was looking for advice and support. yes I am confortable and fine BF my child but others are not and they make it known. I wanted to know if I was odd or if it was normal. Breast feeding a preschooler is not something that is often talked about where I come from and I wanted the perspective of a wide range of mothers from difernt parts of the world and not just other moms in my community. Also with a sensitive topic such as this it is easier to discuss with people you don't need to see on a day to day basis.

Casey - posted on 07/22/2009

It's 100% natural, the health benefits are HUGE for you and your daughter, do it as long as your body will allow/as long as she wants!! people who think its weird are saying that because they have lower IQ's probably due to the fact that they weren't breastfed :)
I know this is cliche but you'll never have this time with her again, if she gets comfort from it, don't worry what other people say. It is an absolute fact that breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your child (not just newborns people!)

Katie - posted on 07/22/2009

I think that you are doing a great job. If your child isn't ready to wean then you are doing the exact right thing for your child. Period. Why bother with a pump and use a bottle- that seems silly to me. Why bother pumping and storing and cleaning bottles when your breasts are always the perfect temperature and always available even if the sink is a mess? That would be ridiculous. Plus- your child receives numerous physical AND emotional BENEFITS from bonding during nursing. I don't understand the logic that she will never become a 'little independent person'? Why? So that line of resoning says that children who feel loved and supported and encouraged don't become well rounded individuals? How does that even make sense? But telling or forcing a child to give something up that is very important to them and telling them that their choice is 'wrong' or 'disgusting' (b/c I'm SURE she will hear the talk of such things) is a better way to develop a self confident person? Please. She would feel completely undermined. That is just backwards! Completely backwards. And to agree with a previous post- of course she's going to ask about body parts! She's a human! And you should tell her- why is that gross or odd or wrong? Women have breasts- what's wrong with telling a 4 yr old that she will eventually become a woman that will have the super hero capability of producing the life source of her future children? She's so crafty that she can make people and the food to nourish them! It's a super awesome thing to be able to share that with your daughter! I'm sorry that you got so much flak for posting on this controversial issue- your bravery is commendable. I garuntee you it wasn't in vain though- there are women reading these threads who grapple with the same issues and these supportive posts have helped them. Oh, and just to add: As a social service worker I would never, ever recommend the removal of a child from a loving home based solely on the act of breastfeeding a toddler.

Kelly - posted on 07/22/2009

I agree with Kylie, Do exactly what you want. One thing I have learnt from being a Mom is people have a lot to say about your parenting. I had to really forget about everyone else and do what I wanted. So keep it up if you want!!!!!

Heather - posted on 07/22/2009

question tho if you already feel comfortable with your decision why post a thread like this when u know people are going to disagree then get yelled at for it? it seems like on com anymore if you disagree with someone u get blocked all the time and get called an idiot for your beliefs....so i just happen to think breast feeding at 4 is gross....ok but it seems like the one posting still is comfortable why post this?

Chris - posted on 07/22/2009

She said she only nurses twice a day...it shouldn't interfere with school.

Heather - posted on 07/22/2009

stop because once they start school full time how the heck is she going to develop correctly....

Francesca - posted on 07/22/2009

personally i wouldn't do it, but its your choice. i do think using the pump would be a good idea, that way she still gets to have all the nutrients the breast offers.

i wouldn't judge you as your doing whats best for your child.

Deonne - posted on 07/22/2009

You should talk to your pediatrician. 4 years old is old for breast feeding. Congratulations on sticking to breastfeeding your child in today's society, however.

Michael-ann - posted on 07/22/2009

I think it awesome in my opinion breastfed kids and healthier and smart my son was breastfed for 2 years and was just recently weaned a couple weeks ago he has bearly been sick and is thriving and exceling. As long as you're comfortable with it forget what everyone is saying. My inlaws wanted me to bottle feed my son but did what i know was best for him and am happy i did family is suposed to support its you and your mans decision at the end of the day. As long as your both comfortable let her excel and she will wean when she wants.

Chris - posted on 07/22/2009

Haha Paige....greeeat!!!! Now I am in trouble for sure!

Paige - posted on 07/22/2009

quoting Chris Johnson: "Uh oh.....my two year old just woke from his nap wanting to nurse!!! I *really* hope I don't get thrown in the slammer!"



Watch out Chris, allowing your child to nap past the age of 18 months is punishable by caning in 16 states. It must be true because I feel very strongly about it.

Marcy - posted on 07/22/2009

Christina-

First, you probably opened yourself up to a ton more criticism...unfortunately. I have an almost 3 year old and he still nurses 2 times per day. My guess is that you have been taking the heat for a long time (probably more than 3 years by now) so honestly, whats another few months or a year? if you are ready to give it up (I am so there and want to be done with it) but its obvious that you are using child led weaning process then start offering up other things besides "the boob" when asked. My son only wants it 2 times per day (usually when he is tired) but I can distract him more often then not with other things.



Go with your gut....think of it this way...they are going to talk "smack" about you anyways even if you give it up now so what's the difference right?



Have you ever heard that expression 'If its not one thing, its your mother"? Enough said right? Congrats and way to go.

Chris - posted on 07/22/2009

Uh oh.....my two year old just woke from his nap wanting to nurse!!! I *really* hope I don't get thrown in the slammer!

Paige - posted on 07/22/2009

in 42 states? really? you are cracking me up.



"Social service agencies have looked at the issue of extended breastfeeding numerous times over the past ten years, but not one social service agency has upheld any finding that extended breastfeeding constitutes abuse or neglect, or is in any way harmful to the child. In only two situations has a child been removed from the home. Several years ago, a social service agency in Colorado removed a five-year-old child because the mother was still breastfeeding, but the court ordered the child to be immediately returned to his family. Last year, in Illinois, a child was removed from the mother ’s custody to foster care for over six months because a judge issued an initial finding that the child was at risk of serious emotional harm because of not being weaned. This case received a great deal of publicity. Though the case is still in the process of being resolved, the child has been returned to his mother, and the judge has vacated the finding of neglect."



from http://www.llli.org/ba/Feb01.html

Chris - posted on 07/22/2009

There is NO WAY a child will be taken away for nursing at the age of four!!!! This is getting ridiculous with the stupid comments!! And what the heck is with the body part stuff? Breasts are designed to NOURISH A CHILD!! People who think nursing is a sexual thing have clearly never done it (at least not properly, because I have been doing it for almost the past four and half years and NEVER have I felt any sort of physical enjoyment from it, short of bonding, like you get from a cuddle)

Alexis - posted on 07/22/2009

let me clarify, there is nothing wrong with breastfeeding after the age of one. breastfeeding after the age of two is inappropriate.

Alexis - posted on 07/22/2009

also, the statement that she can be not be arrested and it is stupid of people to say so is both uneducated and uninformed. it is a form of abuse in 42 states to breastfeed after the age of 2 unless it is deemed medically necessary for the health of the child (an occurrence that can be in about 1/50,000 children). Typically in 39 of the states, if it's reported to the authorities, the child can be taken away and the mother remanded to a psychiatric review before receiving custody of the child back.

Paige - posted on 07/22/2009

way to not read any of the previous posts

Alexis - posted on 07/22/2009

There are those who think that's a psychological problem...mostly psychiatrist. I think if you are still breastfeeding a child at this age it can have damaging effects later in life for your child. Some people would even consider it a form of abuse. Depending on the state you live in, your child can be taken away for your actions at this point. There is no medical reason to breastfeed after 1 year of age.

Abigail - posted on 07/22/2009

wow...there are a lot of stupid people. She will not be arrested for breast feeding her child...that's just an idiotic statement. I think there is nothing wrong with it, she said she only does it twice a day meaning her child is out playing and eating regualr food and then getting breastmilk when she wakes up and when she goes to sleep, it's not an all day thing, I'm sure she is out being a social butterfly with all the other children.

I would have loved to been able to continue with breastfeeding but because of ppd mediction I couldn't continue.

And as far as her asking questions about body parts, let her ask, she is going to eventually. The human body is not dirty and it's not something that you should make your children ashamed of. Explain it to them so they know and let that be that.

Christina, just do your thing and ignore stupid people (I know it's hard because there are soooo many). You're doing nothing wrong at all.

Heather - posted on 07/22/2009

I think you've breast fed way to long! It is time to stop!! You need to figure out what is up with your need for this...your child WILL still need you. I just feel very strongly that this is detrimental to the child!

Cassandra - posted on 07/22/2009

Ok I can understand your point of view on the subject, is it Lisa? If you continue to read my post instead of searching for things to argue about you can clearly see that I am in no way bagging on this woman. Four years of breast feeding is a long time and at the rate of 2 times daily there just isnt enough milk to be considered a nutritional value. Do I agree with cows milk no. We are the only animals that drink another animals milk? Why? Some say because we are the only other animals smart enough and others say it's for the benefits. If you provide healthy meals and snacks high in calcium, and vitamins then there is no need for any type of supplement such as milk. I'm not going to argue about this subject because this woman posted this for support and advice while others just look at the replies to find an argument. NOW please read my posts very carefully as to not mistake my opinions and support as argumentative behavior or critisisim.

Chris - posted on 07/22/2009

Lisa, I am glad you clarified...I meant to say the same thing as you! Finger sucking is perfectly acceptable until it ends on it's own, in most case at LEAST 6 or 7, so why is breast-feeding wrong! Anyway, I totally agree with you on the above post as well!

Christina - I agree! These women need to find better doctors!!! The benefits and nutrients in breastmilk are HUGE no matter what the age!

Hellen - posted on 07/22/2009

It is your decision, however, four years old is close to kindergarden age. Do you plan to go to school to feed her?

Minnie - posted on 07/22/2009

The really sad thing, Christina, is that there are a lot of doctors and nurses who aren't well-educated on the biology of breastfeeding. Doctors get much of their infant nutrition education from formula and baby food companies, nurses get their education from doctors, and thus the cycle continues. I myself had a pediatrician who told me there was no benefit to nursing my daughter after 12 months.

It's really doing a horrible disservice to women and their children.

--- - posted on 07/22/2009

for the few of you who said your doctors told you threr is no benefit after age 1 I think you should find new doctors. Every doctor and lactation consulted I have spoken to and every piece of literature I have read says at LEAST 2 years. that means at minimum 2 years.

Minnie - posted on 07/22/2009

Posted by Cassandra Cook (12:58 pm)
"At age four and only breastfeeding 2 times a day there wouldnt be enough milk to be considered a "nutritional value" to her BUT it is a comfort thing for her."

So, by your argument, am I to assume that you think a couple of glasses of cow's milk a day are of no nutritional value? You better not be feeding your child cow's milk. The bioavailability of the nutrients in it is pretty low, and it offers no immunological factors whatsoever. You'd be surprised at how much milk an efficient toddler can get through their typical power-nursing sessions.

Of course it's a comfort to her. Is she not allowed that? For the record, I sucked my finger until I was nine. And gave it up of my own volition. Was I ashamed of it? No. Did I talk about it to my peers? No, I didn't even think of it. It was just something I did going to bed. (This is not directed at the above poster, but to all who assume that comfort at the breast is wrong, just so I'm not misunderstood).

Methinks it's such an issue for a child to receive comfort at his or her mother's breast going to bed because the overwhelming majority of women here have been indoctrinated in the ideal that breasts are for sexual purposes. That's why it gives them the heebie-jeebies.

But, we've got to instill in the next generation what breasts are for, we can't continue this cycle.

Chris - posted on 07/22/2009

Because chocolate milk is so much healthier than breastmilk? I just read an article that said children who self wean (usually between the ages of two and four) are much more independent than their peers who were weaned by their mothers (average age 10 months) Most four year olds have a comfort item of some sort. Do you take this away from your child before they are ready also? How do you control thumb-sucking? As far as getting arrested, that's just ridiculous! Nursing a four year old is waaaaay different than nursing a ten year old. There are an awful lot of problems in society right now, I doubt any police officer would concern themselves with a nursing mother, especially when they know they will get sued! I nursed my first child until she was only 6 weeks old and never could have imagined nursing a child past a few months (not because I thought it was wrong, just because I didn't have a good experience with my first.) Along came my second and it was a totally different experience. He weaned at 20 months when I became pregnant with my third. My youngest turned two in May and is still nursing. He eats three square meals a day and several snacks. He drinks plenty of water and cow's milk. He is not abnormally attached to me and is a daddy's boy through and through. Saying a child should stop nursing and eat properly is just silly! Most toddlers who nurse are parented by very attached parents who have done their homework and know what is healthiest for their children. These are the same parents who make sure their children are given the total recommended amount of fruits, veggies and cow's milk every day. Your family should mind their own business. How long you breastfeed (just like how long you diaper and where your child sleeps and attends school) are decisions to be made by the people directly involved them. Breastfeeding your child in no way affects any members of your extended family, so they should not be part of the decision. Good luck!

Cassandra - posted on 07/22/2009

At age four and only breastfeeding 2 times a day there wouldnt be enough milk to be considered a "nutritional value" to her BUT it is a comfort thing for her. I'm trying to wean my 13 month old but she's not ready yet and quite frankly niether am I! It becomes a comforting thing for them and you cant blame them for not wanting to give that up. If YOU want to wean her just give her extra love and extra bonding time, if SHE doesnt want to wean or isnt ready yet then wait until she is. Would I breast feed my 4 year old probably not but thats my opinion and I dont think I could handle it. I would probably pump but that goes back to it being a comfort thing not a nutritional thing......I wouldnt FORCE her to wean I would encourage her at her own rate. Good luck! =]

Katie - posted on 07/22/2009

KUDOS for sure! When I first joined COMs I thought people were crazy for even debating this type of thing. I thought it was gross and very wrong. You gals have proved me WAY wrong. I have now spent hours researching this topic and have found no REAL evidence that BF a child that long causes negative long term effects in any way (I really wanted to be right!). All I have found is tons and tons of evidence that long-term breast-feeding has benefits for both toddler and mom. People are just RUDE. Your not hurting her in any way. Keep it up until she is ready to move on. Good luck hun!
Oh, and this is coming from a formula feeding mom. I guess that is bad too!

Betty - posted on 07/22/2009

Well, I plan on breast feeding my babies untill they wean or their own. Normally weaning happens by the age of two or three though. I will not be breast feeding a four year old. No thank you! A dentist may tell you that it isn't good for her teeth too.

I think it will be a good growing experiance for her to wean at this point. Just get her some fancy sippy cups and some good old chocolate milk and let her choose between the two when you would normally breast feed. That way it will still be her choice and she will be able to move on in a healthy manner. You can still hold her for comfort.

If you disagree with me than just carry on and tell everyone to leave you and your daughter alone. What you are doing is fine. Just not what I would do.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/22/2009

I have to say kudos to you for breastfeeding so long. That is very rare in the U.S. While I personally wouldn't breastfeed that long, I think it's up to you as the mother to decide when it's time to stop. Don't let anyone else tell you how to raise your child. There is no evidence that breastfeeding long term is damaging psychologically to a child. I personally would not breastfeed past the age of 3, but that's just me. I know of a lady who breastfed all 3 of her boys until age 5. Not a single one of them have psychological problems and they range in age from 13 to 8. I forgot where she is from originally, but in her culture that was the norm. Her daughter she was unable to breastfeed that long due to some stresses in her own life.

Paige - posted on 07/22/2009

It is absolutely not true that there is no benefit to nursing past one. There are huge nutritional, immunological, social, and emotional benefits for the child and AND mother. If you are hearing that from a doctor, please be aware that s/he is telling you something that the American Academy of Pediatrics DOES NOT agree with based on SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." (AAP 2005)

If anyone is actually interested in hearing a few of the benefits of nursing past a year here are some:

In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
* 29% of energy requirements
* 43% of protein requirements
* 36% of calcium requirements
* 75% of vitamin A requirements
* 76% of folate requirements
* 94% of vitamin B12 requirements
* 60% of vitamin C requirements

* The American Academy of Family Physicians notes that children weaned before two years of age are at increased risk of illness (AAFP 2001).

* Nursing toddlers between the ages of 16 and 30 months have been found to have fewer illnesses and illnesses of shorter duration than their non-nursing peers (Gulick 1986).

* "Antibodies are abundant in human milk throughout lactation" (Nutrition During Lactation 1991; p. 134). In fact, some of the immune factors in breastmilk increase in concentration during the second year and also during the weaning process. (Goldman 1983, Goldman & Goldblum 1983, Institute of Medicine 1991).

* Per the World Health Organization, "a modest increase in breastfeeding rates could prevent up to 10% of all deaths of children under five: Breastfeeding plays an essential and sometimes underestimated role in the treatment and prevention of childhood illness."





*Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest.



And the benefits to the mother are numerous as well:
* Extended nursing delays the return of fertility in some women by suppressing ovulation..

* Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer. Studies have found a significant inverse association between duration of lactation and breast cancer risk.

* Breastfeeding reduces the risk of ovarian cancer.

* Breastfeeding reduces the risk of uterine cancer.

* Breastfeeding reduces the risk of endometrial cancer.

* Breastfeeding protects against osteoporosis. During lactation a mother may experience decreases of bone mineral. A nursing mom's bone mineral density may be reduced in the whole body by 1 to 2 percent while she is still nursing. This is gained back, and bone mineral density may actually increase, when the baby is weaned from the breast. This is not dependent on additional calcium supplementation in the mother's diet.

* Breastfeeding reduces the risk of rheumatoid arthritis.

* Breastfeeding has been shown to decrease insulin requirements in diabetic women.

* Breastfeeding moms tend to lose weight easier.

Kelly - posted on 07/22/2009

Please stop!!!!!!!! If you ask any health expert, they will tell you that there is no benefit to breastfeeding a child beyond the age of 1 year. All you are doing is dragging out one more remnant of her babyhood that needs to end - like bottles, pacifiers, etc. She should have been weaned very long ago! How is she ever going to develop into her own little person if she still needs mommy's breast as a comfort thing at 4? What happens when she's 5 or when she's 6? Her little classmates would most assuredly think she's is odd for continuing should they ever find out. If you are not doing this in public, this tells me that mabye you do realize that it's not acceptable to continue with this behavior, not just other people's reactions. It needs to stop asap.

Angel - posted on 07/22/2009

I think you are doing a wonderful job! Your daughter is smart but I do agree that when she hits kindergarten age to pump but don't stop if you don't or she don't want to. She is going to be an amazing smart girl! Good luck and take care. I've learned to ignore family in a lot of choices and this is one you should ignore too! Thumbs up to you!

Samantha - posted on 07/22/2009

I breast fed both of my kids and my personal rule was the first time I got nicked with teeth I was done!! I am a major proponent of the health benefits of breast feeding but even my doctor told me there are no real benefits past the first year. Yes many people in other countries go much longer but usually out of necessity of life. The question to me is more, what are YOU holding on to?

Sara - posted on 07/22/2009

I just find it funny that so many people are being so judgemental and telling you your child is going to be screwed up when it's something they have ZERO experience with.

Minnie - posted on 07/22/2009

Everychild WILL wean himself or herself if given the opportunity.

This is going to turn out just like the other debates. Pumping one's milk does not give the child the full immunitive properties of the milk. For that to happen, the child must suckle at the mother's breast to introduce pathogens into the mother's body so that antibodies can be produced in the breast so that the child can receive them.

For those of you who say the milk offers no nutrients, well, that's incorrect. The milk isn't water is it?

And yes, a four year old wonders about body parts. What better way to teach a young girl what her breasts are for- feeding a young child, and NOT for tittilating men on TV and selling products!

Mothers who breastfeed longterm most certainly aren't forcing their children to nurse. How could they? If the child wanted to wean, then the child could wean.

The biological age of weaning appears to be anywheres from 2.5-7 years, depending on the child's individual needs.

Tamara - posted on 07/22/2009

Wow, this is a really heated subject. Some people can be just rude. Hopefully they are teaching their children to be kinder. The only things that I'm worried about are is the family talking about the breastfeeding around your daughter and how that makes her feel. You could probably talk to her about it if that caused her any shame. She will also be getting ready for school which I was thinking could be a problem but because you are breastfeeding in the morning and evening that doesn't really apply. The last thing I would worry about is the actual habit of it. You might have to come to a point of being the one to stop it anyway. My son had the habit of sucking his fingers and I really don't think he would have stopped on his own. I think it is wonderful that you were able to breastfeed. I adopted my son and I really missed out on that. I probably wouldn't have done it for as long as you but I feel that you are the Mom and must decide to parent your child the way you feel. I get feed back because I let my son sleep with me longer than most do. I will still lay down with him till he goes to sleep sometimes and he is six now. I agree with most. Do what you feel is right for you.

Sherelle - posted on 07/22/2009

I think that it's insane! When will you stop? So she'll be in kindergarten sharing with children who are becoming more aware of things these days, that she still goes to her mom's breast for milk. PUMP IT! What is so hard about that? It's just weird to me, having a person that big on my breast. I'm all for breastmilk as long as the child wants it but pump it and put it in her cereal or something geez.

ME - posted on 07/22/2009

Look into Le Leche Legue...they are an incredible resource for nursing moms, and I don't believe they argue against breast feeding toddlers...You may be getting close to the age where you will have to force ween her, but I don't know that you are there yet...once she goes to school...it may be a different story, but I certainly don't think it's because it's wrong, just more inconvenient.

Kate CP - posted on 07/22/2009

Faeren, she won't be arrested for nursing her child. There are no laws against it. She'll get a lot of stares and rude comments, but not a pair of handcuffs and a trip to booking.

Tia - posted on 07/22/2009

Though i think it's wierd and kinda gross....tell them to shove it! It's your right!

Faeren - posted on 07/22/2009

I think you should stop she should be eating propely now and you are not giving her any nutrients by feeding her, if you feed her in public I am sure you will be arrested.

Not trying to put you down just think you should allow her be normal and stop she wont remain a baby froever no matter what you do.