Breastfeeding & Formula question and slight vent

Angie - posted on 06/09/2009 ( 277 moms have responded )

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I have a feeling this could be a controversial question, but here I go. I was all about breastfeeding my daughter exclusively. It had never crossed my mind that she would ever get formula when I was pregnant- I was completely against it. Fast forward a couple weeks after my daughter was born... she is losing huge amounts of weight... 1.5 pound to be exact (20% of her body weight). I started supplementing formula and she immediately began to thrive. I resisted the doctors advice to supplement for 3 weeks (trying all sorts of methods for better and more successful breastfeeding) before I did it and we were contemplating putting her in the hospital. My question and part vent is this... according to some of the moms on here, I should have never given my baby formula (because it's "artificial," "unnatural," "poison" etc). Would it have been better if my daughter died because I resisted it and continued on the failed exclusive BF (I continued to do both until she was 7 months and then she stopped)? It's great in theory that my baby never get formula, but when it comes down to the health of your child would you really make that choice? My baby's health and lively hood means more to me than some principle of never giving my child something "artificial." Yes, BF would have been wonderful to do exclusively, but some of you out there make such harsh judgments. Would you really have let your baby go to the hospital, get very sick, starve just because it's artificial? I just don't understand how that works. The longer it's been since I've had my daughter and the closer I come to having my new baby, the more I realize that I did the RIGHT thing by giving my daughter formula. I was not a failure or a lazy mother because I gave my daughter formula. I was a concerned mother that had the best interest of her child in mind! So to those out there that choose to use formula... you are not failures or lazy or any other terms. You are doing what's right for you and your baby. Hopefully, that encourages anyone who was like me and feeling like a failure because of what we did.

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Geralyn - posted on 06/10/2009

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Angie, you are amazing! Rather than switiching to formula solely, you actually gave her the best of both formula and breastfeeding. I have exclusively breastfed my son, now 14 mos, but if there had ever been a supply issue or weight loss issue, I would have done what you did without a second thought. While strangers to you and your baby may have harsh judgments, you are the one that takes care of your baby and makes the decisions. You are a wonderful mother.



I agree with several of the posters that this site should be a place where we share ideas, information, and support each other. And we can have different opinions and simply agree to disagree. I am never opposed to hearing differing opinions because it lets me re-evaluate my decisions and either confirms what I believe or changes my original opinion. I have learned from the women on here. I avoid the posts, at this point, where it just becomes one insult after another, as it has no benefit to any readers and it truly is a waste of my time.

Amanda - posted on 06/16/2009

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Angie, my daughter was close to the same way after she was born. I didn't go but for maybe a month and a half breast feeding her. Most of my problem was that I didn't know how to get my milk going properly and I had not been instructed fully on breast feeding. I got the "Okay, you're looking like you know what you're doing" comments in the hospital, and then I was sent home to do unarmed battle with dry, cracking, bleeding nipples, a child uninterested in feeding, postpartum depression I was afraid to say anything about, etc. Add to that a family that doesn't talk about real things like the technicalities of breast feeding, and I was a mess. My daughter didn't gain weight and she was getting skinnier by the day towards the end of the breast fest. And like your little one, she thrived after I introduced formula. To tell you the truth, she might've even liked it better than breast milk, cause that first bottle she got was guzzled like water after being in the Sahara. She's now 7 years old and totally healthy, and by the way reading and doing math at an advanced level for her age. So I don't think the formula made her stupid. Bottom line, each child is different, each parent is different. We have to learn as we go, especially with the first of each sex children, and our choices are our choices. I'm glad you own your choice to supplement. You did do right by your child, keeping her alive by giving her formula. Way to go you! You're a good mom. Good luck in your future decisions, and with your new baby. And in case you haven't read or been told anything about it...with my second one, I got a breast pump. I wound up feeding him for 13 months. And it was such a joy. But I honestly don't think I could've done it without bolstering my milk supply with the breast pump while I went in the beginning. If you need any info about how to pump or reviews on good ones, there are some reviews on Youtube.com, and http://www.gotbreastpump.com looks like it has some good advice on pumping and how to increase milk supply. Again, good luck!

Dian - posted on 06/14/2009

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u did the right thing. i'ts OK. In my country almost all mothers give BF, but its doesnt mean that giving a formula to our baby is bad. 'cause there must a reason that allow us to do that. Such as: working mother, run out of supply, medical reason e.t.c.

So u have done the right thing. u dont have to feel that u are a lazy mother, no.. its not true.... once again u're doing the right thing...:)

Kate - posted on 06/13/2009

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One thing that I've come to realize as a mother is that there is no such thing as perfect, especially extremes. My biggest complaint has been how some mothers view they should sacrifice everything for their child. Yes, a lot of sacrifice is needed when raising a child, but what do you teach your child when you give up EVERYTHING to be at the beck and call of one person? Children should become a PART of the family, not the CENTER of the family. So, although in your case, having both breast and bottle was a medical choice, for some moms, it's an emotional choice to choose some or all formula. I'd rather have a happy, well-adjusted mom taking care of her baby with formula than a depressed, stressed-out, unable-to-cope mom who is forcing herself to breastfeed because that's what she is "supposed" to do. And for the record, I did a combo of breast- and bottle-feeding, so I've seen both sides.

Louise - posted on 06/12/2009

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Congratulations for doing both! You have to follow the needs your child is expressing. If you have another child, you could try pumping immediately and taking Fenugreek to up your milk supply. You did your best and no one can fault you for that.

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Melissa - posted on 08/04/2011

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I felt the same way, i struggled so long with getting my children to latch on to me, and felt I HAD to and that i was a failure because i couldn't get them to latch. my son had jaundice at birth, the doctor told me afteer a few days of testing to stop breastfeeding and keep pumping to test to see if that helped and it did and the levels came down and explained to me sometimes breastfeeding can increase jaundice levels, and once it came down i could start again- well that didn't help the lactching problems. However, my doctor said if i could make it through pumping and trying for 6 weeks, that would be awesome, so i fought until i went back to work and then switched to formula. With my daughter, i got her latching more, pumped a little less but still lots, and got her latching more. However by 8 or 9 months had to change her to formula because i just got tired of it, having a year off of maternity leave helped.

Sarah - posted on 08/03/2011

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I didn't have the shocking weight loss that yours did, but I did have problems. I was never going to give my baby formula. I nursed my first two with no problem. This baby never seemed satisified and woudl scream and scream. I finally figured out he was just hungry. Even in the hospital they kept saying that my milk would come in and he'd be fine....it never did very well. So I have to give him formula and he's happy becuase he's full. Took me a whlie to find the right formula but now he's happy.
YOu did what you had to do as a mom to have your baby thrive! It might not have been your orignial plan, but plans change and sometimes things are out of our control.

Lexy - posted on 07/29/2011

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I agree, as a good mother you want to breastfeed your baby as long as you can, my dauther now 9 months was 5 weeks early and had to be in the NICU for a few days and had to be supplmented with formula, I then found her lossing to much weight and as a baby that's 5 weeks early weight gain is important. I wasn't producing enough milk for her, I've been supplmenting with Gerber Good Start since the hospital because it's what she needed for her overall health, but she's still continues to get the benefits of my milk. I can't even tell you how wonderfull and actuallly how the stress lifts off me especially knowing how well she does on Good Start makes me feel, knowing I was able to breast feed for 9 months and will continue to for 12 months.

Lexy - posted on 07/29/2011

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I agree, as a good mother you want to breastfeed your baby as long as you can, my dauther now 9 months was 5 weeks early and had to be in the NICU for a few days and had to be supplmented with formula, I then found her lossing to much weight and as a baby that's 5 weeks early weight gain is important. I wasn't producing enough milk for her, I've been supplmenting with Gerber Good Start since the hospital because it's what she needed for her overall health, but she's still continues to get the benefits of my milk. I can't even tell you how wonderfull and actuallly how the stress lifts off me especially knowing how well she does on Good Start makes me feel, knowing I was able to breast feed for 9 months and will continue to for 12 months.

Sal - posted on 07/07/2011

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i will say it agian and again it is formula not child abuse, some women just need to get a grip,

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I have a 2.5yr old, and was all for breastfeeding, i didn't know till after i had him that my nipples are severly inverted, and he was completely unable to latch on. we tired the sheilds for several weeks, but by 6 weeks he still hadn't regained his birth weight. I began to express exclusivly and bottle fed him BM until he we 6 months old. I was on meds to keep my supply going. I felt like such a failure and i am sure it's what started the PND i had after he was born. many many people were trying to tell me that if i'd just keep putting him on the breast he'd eventually get it. some people don't get that some women don't have a choice to BF or not their bodies just don't match up with what is being asked of them.

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I get tired of the whole breastfeeding thing. i breastfed all of my kids...some ppl cant for whatever reason. i get tired of ppl putting others down because its not what they would do. Thats like one conversation I saw lately talked about frozen foods being "crap" not true. Some frozen foods are great for you. I get tired of ppl thinking their way is the only way. Walk in my shoes before you judge!

Aubrey - posted on 07/05/2011

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I never had anyone tell me that I made the wrong choice, Our daughter lost a lb by the time we left the hospital (1 day old) and I was trying to nurse her for 3 days and she didn't seem like she was latching on (I was pumping to make sure that my supply wouldn't dwindle) before I left the hospital I had a lactation nurse come and help me and I kept telling her to stick her finger in my daughters mouth because it didn't feel like she was sucking at all to me (this was baby number 2 and I exclusivly BF our son) so when she was 3 days old she had a dr appointment and the dr had another lactation nurse come in and try to help me get her latched on I knew I was doing everything right because I had breastfeed before for 13 months so after we couldn't get her to really latch on the dr finally looked in her mouth and we found our she had a cleft Plate ( a whole in the roof of her mouth) so therefor couldn't suck. I was very devistated that I wouldn't be able to nurse her but I exclusivly pumped for 3 months and she wasn't really gaining weight (she was still wearing newborn clothes) and so finally I started to supplement formula because I couldn't take it any longer. She still got breastmilk in everyone of her bottles but it was half B-milk and half formula. She started to put on more weight but still not much. But her dr wasn't concerned because cleft palate babies sometimes have a hard time putting weight on. She is now 16 months old and only weighs 19lbs. She eats ALL the time and is very active. I myself felt really bad for putting her on formula for the first month or so because everyone around me was BFing their babies and I couldn't do it but I knew I had no choice because she couldn't suck. But I am very happy now that I did start to supplement and I pumped until she was 10 months old and she stopped having a bottle at 11 months. So I feel like now I did pretty good :) Now I am praying that baby number 3 (due September 4) will be able to exclusivly BF.

Alna - posted on 07/05/2011

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You did the right thing and what's best for your baby. My baby was born a month early and my milk didn't come out right away until about a week. Imagine what would have happened if I waited and not fed my baby formula. When I was able to bf her, I did it exclusively though, and I pumped at work like it was my part time job.

Alna - posted on 07/05/2011

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You did the right thing and what's best for your baby. My baby was born a month early and my milk didn't come out right away until about a week. Imagine what would have happened if I waited and not fed my baby formula. When I was able to bf her, I did it exclusively though, and I pumped at work like it was my part time job.

Rhionna - posted on 06/18/2009

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Well done to you! Every family is different and what you did was right for you and your baby and that is the most important thing! I'm lucky that I have been able to BF all my kids, although I'm struggling with my 6 week old due to sore breasts, when I have been in a lot of pain i have used formula, and I have to say bottle feeding is a lot more hassle, but you make the decision as to what is right for you!

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Funny thing...if your daughter had been put in the hospital (because you weren't producing BM and therefore couldn't pump enough either), she would have been given formula anyway! The hospital would not have said "Oh, this baby is dying because the mother can't pump enough BM, so we just won't feed it." lol They would have given her formula, whatever, to keep her alive! I'm an exclusively BF momma, feel very strongly about it. But when my last daughter was put in NICU for 12 days, there was no possible way to BF her 24 hours. I was there as much as humanly possible, and pumping, too. However, there are shift changes where I was not allowed to be in the NICU, and I can't sleep on the floor in the NICU...esp. just having given birth. Not to mention the swallow studies, upper GI tests they did on her...they HAD to use a specially dyed formula to perform the tests. You do what you can and the best you can. She obviously does not have some sort of brain damage from it! LOL

Emma - posted on 06/16/2009

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I had the same problem. My daughter did not gain any weight while i breastfed her. then one of my home visit midwives suggested i give my daughter both beast milk and formula and express the breast milk so i was able to see how much she was getting. Eventually my breastmilk supply dropped off. Now my daughter is on pure formula and its for the best. She gained weight she was able to sleep properly and she was much more happier. I cried when i bought the first tin of formula. I felt as though i failed my daughter, my partner and mostly myself. All through my pregnancy i was determined that i was going to breast feed and now having to give my daughter formula was HUGE blow to the system. But i realise now that it was for the best its best for her health. And she is still getting all the need fats, minerals and vitamins to be prefectly healthy.

I'm happy to know that I am not the only person out there that had this exact problem. Thanks for sharing now i dont feel so alone. =)

Michele - posted on 06/16/2009

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I recently went through the same thing. My daughter was born two months ago. I started off breastfeeding and she latched on immediately and was feeding well. Once we got home I quickly found out she wasn't getting enough. I would feed her for a long time, but she was still hungry. I tried for about two weeks and then started supplementing with formula. I felt really sad and guilty. This is our last child and I really wanted to breastfeed exclusively. I have two other children and they were both supplemented with formula as well. I was hoping this time to be able to just breastfeed. I'm still breastfeeding her before each feeding but feel that will soon come to an end. I just don't feel like I'm producing much milk. I feel as mothers we have to do what is best for our children. That is our job and if giving them formula helps them grow then so be it. Why is it though people always ask if I'm breastfeeding? I don't really feel like it is their business but a personal choice. I've almost felt like I have to justify why I'm supplementing. In my case my daughter is growing and at her two month appointment she weighed 10lbs 15oz, so I feel I'm doing what is best for her.

Selina - posted on 06/15/2009

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i understan exactly were ur coming from i felt the same way about breastfeeding and formula i was so set on just breastfeeding but i was having trouble producing milk and my baby was having trouble latching we tried breast pumps but i was still not producing i would cry with my son dutring feeding time because he was still hungry so my doctor recomened that i try giving him just a little of formula after he ate drank the breastmilk sowe did but then after time went on i started producing less and less milk and i hated it so much but i prefer for my son to be healthy and happy even if it mean he will mainly have to drink formula. i would ot want to see my baby in the hospital it would kill me



i belive and know that you did the right thing your babes health is always first

Ulrike - posted on 06/15/2009

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mom of samya, 5 months on the 22nd of june



i was breastfeeding our daughter for three months. she picked up lots of sugar of me in late pregnancy and dropped after being born. she was sleepy and despite her 3801 gramm not hungry. then she was jaundiced and without appetite. because of the c section my milk came slowly. in my family it is tradition to breastfeed exclusively for six months so i wanted that too. but nurses proposed giving her top ups of formula and so did her dad.



i perservered for three months and again was advised to give one meal as bottlefeed. within two weeks it was turned upside down. one meal off me. i was happy. but after 4 weeks my daughter refused and i felt upset and like a failure. i see though a happy, progressing, healthy child and that convinces me every day i am doing the right thing. continuing to breastfeed with all her crying would be selfish and not good for her.



i believe it will take me some more time to get over with that sad feeling inside me. but yes,it only counts whats best for the baby.



Lauren - posted on 06/15/2009

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Most formula's are now as close to breastmilk as they can get. THe only difference is, your breastmilk is specifically formulated for your child! However, there are millions of babies given formula everyday and they are thriving. Especially if your child is losing weight, formula has the higher fat content to help her grow! Do not feel guilty!

Emma - posted on 06/15/2009

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Hundreds of thousands of parent/mothers have made the choice to give there children formula over the years. Formula these days has been advanced and tested to the highest quality & just as close as breast milk as possible. I to didn't believe in formula, breast is best.. But my little girl was so hungry & with my parntener & i learning she suffered from milk protien allegy. She wasn't getting what she needed off me, i turned to formula & it was the best thing ever. U should never feel bad for changing to formula. Breast milk is best if u are giving enough to your child.. i think it's silly to say it's posion etc as the health regulations wouldn't have passed it if it was un safe.

Natalie - posted on 06/14/2009

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My bub is 4 and half months and I am exclusively breastfeeding, because he continues to thrive on breast milk alone. I do not judge ppl who use formula at all. I know breast milk is best etc etc, but I know how many times I have nearly given up - bleeding nipples, breast lumps, blocked ducts etc. It is hard! It's easier now, and my boy is a lil chubba, but if I was in ur position I would hav done the exact same thing. I'm not sure how long I will breastfeed for, but as long as I feel I've done my best, then no1 else's opinion counts! U did wat was best 4 ur bub, n thats all that matters. Some breast milk is better than none, n you did wat u could. U should be proud!

Amy - posted on 06/14/2009

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When I was pregnant with my daughter, my boyfriend and I talked about all of these major parenting issues. He was very clear that he wanted me to breastfeed for a full year, and I completely agreed with him - and still do, as a matter of fact. My boyfriend practically forced his ex-wife to continue breastfeeding their son for the full year because she wanted to give up all the time. And as supportive and caring as he was about this issue, and the health and mental well-being of me and our daughter, he was the one that told me to give up.



This was after I had been trying and pumping, after I'd had several of the NICU nurses and at least one hospital lactation consultant help me, and after I'd had mastitis twice - one of which was bad enough that he had to spend most of a night and day walking between the kitchen and bedroom to bring me hot clothes to soothe the pain and help me pump, and after he'd watched how heartbroken I was over it, and after he'd seen that the amount I was able to pump had dramatically reduced.



Even with my boyfriend telling me it was time to switch to formula - and not having anyone tell me that I was a bad mother - I felt like I was. I too grieved over the fact that I couldn't breastfeed my child ... for weeks. But I still held her every time I fed her, and I comforted her when she was upset, and took care of all of her needs. Unfortunately I know that I am my own worst critic - my friends tell me all the time that I'm a wonderful mother, and I never really believe them - and I expect that a lot of other moms' out there are just as critical towards themselves as I am towards myself.



My daughter is now 2, and while she is very slight for her age, she is healthy! That's the most important thing to me. I would have loved to have been able to breastfeed, but I couldn't, so I try not to dwell on it anymore.



As for people criticizing you for how you parent ... don't take it to heart. Emails, social networking, instant messaging, etc are the worst forms of communication, and it is VERY easy to write something that seems rather blunt or rude without meaning to. Even if someone criticized you face to face, you should try not to let it bother you. They probably aren't meaning to be rude, just trying to give advice and being unsuccessful. Good luck with your family, and I hope things work out closer to what you'd like this time around.

Juliet - posted on 06/14/2009

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Despite what other mother's say, I feel that whatever you choose to do is the right choice for you and your baby. Not many mother's are able to provide enough breast milk to satisfy their baby's needs, so they decide to formula feed.



If your baby is thriving with formula, I should just say f*** whatever everyone else is saying and do what you feel is best for your child. After all, you are the mother :)

Simone - posted on 06/14/2009

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my baby cant take my milk so i had no choise but to use formula and everyone says breast feeding her is better, i would be feeding her if i could. people make me so mad like they know whats best for your baby.

Stephanie - posted on 06/14/2009

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You are neither a failure NOR a lazy mom. You are a terrific mother who did what she dad to do for the health and well being of her baby. KUDOS to you and don't EVER let those words enter your vocabulary. EVERY baby and circumstance is different. You continue to do what's right for you and your children!! :-)

User - posted on 06/14/2009

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I am a mother of a thriving 3-month-old who exclusively breastfeeds, but you are NOT a horrible mother if breastfeeding does not work for you. There is no one way to feed a child. I am also a pediatric nurse, and formula is NOT poison. We use it to save thousands of baby lives a year. It irritates me when people make harsh judgments towards people for personal decisions they make about raising their children. Breastfeeding is not for everyone. If I didn't have the awesome support from 2 breastfeeding sisters and breastfeeding friends, I'm not sure I could have made it over the hump at first. Breastfeeding can be difficult, and if your baby is not thriving on breastmilk, then you made the right decision to switch to formula. Everyone has an opinion about everything when it comes to raising children, so I say do what works for you. It doesn't make you a bad person.

Christin - posted on 06/14/2009

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Honestly if your daughter had ended up in the hospital like that and kept loosing weight on breast milk alone, then they would have given her formula anyways. They have to do what is best for the child to help them survive. My daughter was in the same shoes, I tried and tried to breastfeed her, but it came down to the fact that I could not produce enough milk medically, so I had no other option. My doctor said I was hardly producing milk at all.

[deleted account]

Hi Angie,

I can relate to you a lot on your post. I had to feed my baby formula also because when I had the mandatory C-section, the antibiotic they gave me caused a yeast infection in my breasts. I got to feed him for 2 weeks, but I had to take medication and put him on formula so he wouldn't get sick. It took 2 months for the YI to clear and by then, he didn't want my boob. Some of my "earthy" friends told me to starve him until he took my milk, but I said No, I am not going to starve him just because I want things a certain way. I felt inadequate not being able to BF, but I told myself he Will survive on formula, and my love is what matters the most. He is beautiful, healthy, and he hasn't been sick yet.

As a mom, you have to follow your gut no matter what a book says, or what your friends or non-friends say. You have to follow your heart. Sometimes what is best for our children isn't written across the sky in big letters so we just have to take a chance. You did what you had to do, as did I, so don't feel guilty. You did the right thing, and don't ever think of yourself as a failure. This is one of millions of times you will be second-guessing yourself as a mother, and just in general, and that's OK! ;) Namasté -Ali

Sarah - posted on 06/14/2009

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I know what you mean about other mothers looking down on us mothers who had to or choose to bottle feed. Formula is by no means poison to our babies and actually formula has the vitamins and nutrients that babies need to grow. I know that breast feeding is the most natural and the best option for your baby, but there are many reasons women cannot or choose not to BF and that is our right! my son is almost 6 months old and has been pretty much exclusively bottle fed since 3 months old and he is a happy healthy little boy.

Robyn - posted on 06/14/2009

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You are never a failure as a mother for doing what is best for your child. You attempted to breast feed, and the formulas out there are very good as supplements. If its not working for you, its not working for you!!! I couldnt breast feed my son, and while in the hospital with my daughter, i was told i would have to formula and breast feed her. Although extremely dissapointing and although i thought i couldnt do it as a mother, i couldnt provide for my daughter, the one thing only i can do for her, the one thing nature made us able to do to care for your child, and i couldnt do it!!! Before leaving the hospital i realized that although i may not be able to fully breast feed her, that does not make me a failure. By choosing formula, you are doing whats best for you child in order to ensure her survival. My daughter more than doubled her birth weight after 2 months, and managed to gain a pound in 4 days. She too had dropped below the recommended loss for babies, and now she is THRIVING! Not every mother can breast feed, and some choose not to. We should be so lucky that in todays age, there are such things as formula supplements, because if there hadnt been, your daughter and many others may of not been so fortunate. Its always worth a shot to breastfeed, if you so choose, but just because you go with formula, or even both, does not mean failure! your doing whats best for your child, and THATS what makes a good mother.

Beauty - posted on 06/14/2009

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u are right i deed feel like that as well but ever since ive been giving my son formula he is as healthy as a breastfed baby even more healthy so im glad im not alone out there

Cassandra - posted on 06/14/2009

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Good for you! I tried breastfeeding my son but I could never get him to latch on. I also had some issues w/myself that made it physically more difficult to breastfeed. I pumped and fed him breast milk for a short time but got so run down doing that that in the end I used formula. I have Type 1 Diabetes too which makes it harder to breastfeed because it takes a lot out of you and then that drops your blood sugar which is really bad. You have to do what's best for you child but you also have to consider yourself because in my case keeping up with it could've really caused harm to me. I'm not saying Diabetics can't breastfeed because they can but in my particular case that time it didn't work out for me. Good luck and do what's right for you situation!

[deleted account]

Quoting Jennifer:



Quoting Sharon:

I'd be interested to know if some of the extreme pro-BFing moms here have actually told a formula feeding mother to her face that she is a lazy mom, or insulted her in person for chosing formula as a first choice over BM. Sometimes I think the message board forum is a great way to hide because you can make hurtful and rude comments to a bunch of strangers.
My sister was one of those moms who formula fed her kids from day 1. She was personally not comfortable with the feeling of a baby on her breast. She did not like the feeling of pumping either. Why should it matter, as long as the kiddo is fed? Why are you making it your business? Would any of you extreme pro-BFing ever make a comment to my sister in person?





Aren't you hateful.






Right back at ya sweetie!  Apparently didn't want to answer the question?

Christina - posted on 06/14/2009

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i breastfed my daughter as long as i could then i had to stop due to pain and the fact i was still having to give her a bottle cuz she was still hungry. i tried with my son and couldnt do it. you have to do what is best for you and your baby. if breast feeding is not enough you may have to do like i did and still do formula too. i tried doing both with my daughter and son and still with both ended up using formula. with my son my breasts were so big he couldnt breathe so we used a pump and just put it in a bottle for him and i still couldnt get my milk to come in the way he needed it to so we went to fomula as for my daughter she was just hungry cuz i would nurse her and stillhave to give her a 4oz bottle of formula. so like i said it just depends on what works for the two of you

Sabreena - posted on 06/14/2009

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Good for you!!! It's important to do whats best for you and the baby. My baby completely refused the breast and I had a really hard time switching to formula, but once I did, my baby started eating like there's no tomorrow.

Tanja - posted on 06/14/2009

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Neither of my girls were breast fed exclusively. There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving your baby formula. That's what it's there for!! I just wish it weren't so darn expensive!! You made a choice which was best for your baby...that makes you a great mom!

Amanda - posted on 06/14/2009

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I also just assumed I would breastfeed, but I ended up giving both mine bottles after a few days. I don't think any mother should be made to feel made for bottle feeding. I here of so many mothers say that they are breastfeeding and there babies won't stop crying. There probably HUNGRY. Yes breast is best if you can do it that way, but my boys were bottle feed and there is nothing wrong with them.

Denise - posted on 06/14/2009

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I think that sometimes, its all about support too...having a baby is vey hard work, and can affect your body and soul, even though babies are great creations, sometimes for peace of mind it's good to put the babies on formula for anyone to help around too...formula has no sciencetific dangers, and I personally feel that as long as the baby is fed to thrive before solids...it doesn't matter whether you breast fed or formula feed...we can look at the flip side of this...there is a huge drinking and drug culture out there, and if someone was to breasfeed, whilst having an addiction, this would not be beneficial to the baby would it? and formula would be the best solution, so why are people (and not just mothers) judging by the way other people feed their baby, they should keep their own opinions to theirselves, and act on what they solely do for their baby, and not judge others

Tina - posted on 06/13/2009

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Angie, you rock sweetheart! Don't ever lose your enthusiasm! You are doing a great job and anyone that can't see that is full of it!! Take good care of your world and let the "doogooders" and "hoity toitys" that a just for BF and nothing more, just dry up and blow away!!

Melissa - posted on 06/13/2009

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everybody is different some people have extreme difficulty breast feeding or the baby is not doing good, etc etc... as long as u know u did what was best for you and your baby then dont worry about what any one says. some ppl that do formula feed are lazy or taking the easier way... some mothers think that its gross to breast feed. u are obviously not one of them so why take offense? u breast fed and formula fed, its what was right for u. I had it so easy with breastfeeding so i dont really judge ppl about formula feeding cuz i never had a problem. the only problem i had was weaning my son off the boob.

The critisizm on my end was opposite, ppl would make rude comments to me about breast feeding my son until he was 2. people just dont know how to shut there mouths.

[deleted account]

Hi i BF 3 of my 5 children and sometimes i would get sore from breastfeeding and the midwife i had told me that having a break between feeding by giving a bottle would be ok as it was better than me being tearful trying to feed when i was in pain,so i always stuck to the same baby formula each time but also breast fed and i had very healthy babies who are now in there teens so it shows that its never hurt them, but i was once told by the midwife even if i only breast fed for a a short time it would benefit my baby so i think you have done the best thing for your baby and remember Mother Knows Best!

Angie - posted on 06/13/2009

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Quoting Deborah:

As a breastfeeding mother, I wish that I had prepared myself a little better. If you can breastfeed exclusively, then do it...if not then supplement for the health of your baby...don't resist to satisfy your ego or anyone else's.


That is such good point! I was doing this. I was trying to please others (and myself) and I'm afraid almost putting it before the health of my baby.

Rachel - posted on 06/13/2009

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Who are these people? I bf my four exclusively for the first 12 months (of course following the weaning advice for solids!), but I really am thankful that I was able to do it.



Had I ever been faced with a problem like this then I would certainly have used formula, and broke my heart at the same time as I would have been determined to breastfeed much like yourself, but if it aint working it aint working and you have to put your real live baby before your own idillic beliefs.



All I can say is well done and long may your attitude continue of putting your child's needs before everything else.



I wish you and your family every happiness



Rachel

Deborah - posted on 06/13/2009

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Every child is different...and every mother is different. I was totally against formula when I had my daughter and then I had an accident and was unable to nurse her anymore. I had to have emergency surgery the day after my accident and my daughter went straight from breast milk to formula. She was unhappy at first but then realized that what we were giving her and she adapted quickly. As a breastfeeding mother, I wish that I had prepared myself a little better. If you can breastfeed exclusively, then do it...if not then supplement for the health of your baby...don't resist to satisfy your ego or anyone else's.

Elizabeth - posted on 06/13/2009

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you did what was best for the baby and in the long run thats all that matters my sister had excatly the same promblem with her eldest baby and got heaps of slack too, my problem was i felt uncomforable breast feeding in public or in front of anyone so i was expressing so much that after the 4 months i ended up weaning her down to two a day and the others formula but got so much slack from the clinic sisters, they dont care weather you have tryed your best or not, i breast fed and still got slack they dont care weather its 2 weeks or 4 months they still have the same view,i think what is best for you and the baby at the time is the right thing to do. (:

[deleted account]

I never breastfed either of my 2 kids. Not because I couldn't but because I wouldn't. It is not something for everyone. I feel that there is plenty of good formula out there to choose from. My children 6 & 4 never got sick until they started school. Not even an ear infection until last year. I have never felt like a failure because I chose to use formula. I still got up every two hours to tend to my babies. I just didn't like the thought of bf & knew even before I had kids that is something I would NEVER do.



Those who judge Mothers for the way we tend to our children obviously have there own superior issue they need to work through. If your child is HEALTHY & HAPPY no need to worry how you fed them!

Charity - posted on 06/13/2009

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I have learned that people often open their big mouths about your child when they really have no business. I gave birth to a 24 week preemie. I had some one tell me that I couldn't understand what it was like to be a real mom because I didn't carry a full term baby. I had it easy, she said. (Well 97 days in a NICU with your child is far from easy!)



I couldn't breast feed my son because it took to much energy for him to pull the milk. So, I had to bottle feed. When he didn't gain enough weight from my breast milk he had to be supplemented with formula. I eventually switched to an all formula diet because it was better for him. (And I had a pediatrician and a specialist who recommended it) Formula is not what it used to be. Every mom is different and we should be allowed to be different without criticizing and picking on each other for the things that we try with our children.

[deleted account]

Quoting Melissa:



Quoting Jennifer:




Quoting Sharon:

I'd be interested to know if some of the extreme pro-BFing moms here have actually told a formula feeding mother to her face that she is a lazy mom, or insulted her in person for chosing formula as a first choice over BM. Sometimes I think the message board forum is a great way to hide because you can make hurtful and rude comments to a bunch of strangers.
My sister was one of those moms who formula fed her kids from day 1. She was personally not comfortable with the feeling of a baby on her breast. She did not like the feeling of pumping either. Why should it matter, as long as the kiddo is fed? Why are you making it your business? Would any of you extreme pro-BFing ever make a comment to my sister in person?







Aren't you hateful.









 






 






i dont think they would. those vicious BF-ing nazies should be dead! they have no business pressuring other people.






How dare you say that. To say someone should be dead? Nazies? Evil evil evil person.

Tricia - posted on 06/13/2009

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You know, It IS the natural thing to do...what is also natural is a mother's God given sense of what's right for our children! Breast-feeding can be a wonderful thing, but it's not always the best thing for each individual. There's so many people who are one sided because they've only experienced the "good stuff", so to speak. You did the right thing, the best thing, and the NATURAL thing...which is to save your daughters life at any and all costs, even if you had to feed her monkey milk! :) Kudos to you!! Go Mom!

Tricia - posted on 06/13/2009

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You know, It IS the natural thing to do...what is also natural is a mother's God given sense of what's right for our children! Breast-feeding can be a wonderful thing, but it's not always the best thing for each individual. There's so many people who are one sided because they've only experienced the "good stuff", so to speak. You did the right thing, the best thing, and the NATURAL thing...which is to save your daughters life at any and all costs, even if you had to feed her monkey milk! :) Kudos to you!! Go Mom!

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