Erinn - posted on 04/26/2009 ( 229 moms have responded )
791
95
I recently saw a video of a woman breastfeeding her 8 year old daughter, it was almost tooo difficult to watch... sickening in MY opinion! I was just wondering what other people thought of that.... would you breastfeed your children for THAT long?? I'm curious of other opionions??
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Jennifer - posted on 04/30/2009
4
55
I'm sorry but I enjoyed breastfeeding my children,,.,,but on their 1st birthday...thats it! Time to cut the cord! I think breastfeeding is a natural and beautiful thing but when your child can come up to you and pull your shirt up....NO! That is borderline Porno!! I think at 1 thats it...you still want them to have the breast milk.....PUMP!!!!
Melissa - posted on 04/30/2009
12
6
Quoting Millie:
The 8 y-o may have special needs we cannot imagine!! Don't be too quick to judge by appearances! Weaning should happen when the child is ready. Whether Mom is ready is unimportant-she is obligated to follow the needs of your child, providing she can continue lovingly. The world-wide average age of weaning is 7 years old. The Native Americans had a specific guideline; a child should not be weaned until he/she is old enough to reach one arm over his/her own head and grasp the opposite ear. that's about age 6 years. American Moms usually wean their babies by age 12 months, so you can see that our viewpoint is a bit skewed! Teeth? No problem. There are gentle an effective ways to teach baby not to use those new teeth on Mom! If this is an issue for you, contact your local La Leche League group. These gals are the absolute Experts on the subject; they've been helping moms & babies for over 50 years.
Interesting. Is that Native American guideline specific to a certain tribe/area? Curious.
Millie - posted on 04/30/2009
1
16
The 8 y-o may have special needs we cannot imagine!! Don't be too quick to judge by appearances! Weaning should happen when the child is ready. Whether Mom is ready is unimportant-she is obligated to follow the needs of your child, providing she can continue lovingly. The world-wide average age of weaning is 7 years old. The Native Americans had a specific guideline; a child should not be weaned until he/she is old enough to reach one arm over his/her own head and grasp the opposite ear. that's about age 6 years. American Moms usually wean their babies by age 12 months, so you can see that our viewpoint is a bit skewed! Teeth? No problem. There are gentle an effective ways to teach baby not to use those new teeth on Mom! If this is an issue for you, contact your local La Leche League group. These gals are the absolute Experts on the subject; they've been helping moms & babies for over 50 years.
Melissa - posted on 04/30/2009
12
6
It's a personal relationship between mother and child. It makes me sad that so many believe that if a child has teeth or can ask for the breast that they should automatically be weened. I just don't understand. As for this particular child being 8 years old......I think it's on the far end of the spectrum but not for others to judge. I'd be more likely to question why it was on the internet.
Brooke - posted on 04/30/2009
2
24
I breastfed for only 3 months due to lack of producing milk and and my work schedule. although I planned to breastfeed for 1 year since this is what I am comfortable with. I think to breastfeed your child until they are 8 is wrong. I read opposing views on this but still think it's selfish of the mother and makes it hard for the child in the culture we live in. I watched the video and these girls named their mothers breasts, drew pictures of them and talked to them. That's normal in their house but I don't think it's right. This is not normal in the society we live in. For doing it that long it really seems like a form of abusing your child emotionally.
You don't have to agree with my but this is my thought on it.
Hannah - posted on 04/30/2009
475
2
Quoting Wendy:
Quoting Hannah:
Quoting Wendy:
Quoting Sarah:
It is only NORMAL in some cultures to wear clothing. You referenced a particular tribe in Africa that breastfeeds until 15 years old which you said was natural for them. It is also completely natural for some tribes to not wear clothing. Not everyone wears clothes to protect them from the elements. It has all different purposes. However, our society is not run by what is NORMAL and natural in other countries. It is what we have collectively decided what is acceptable. If people want to go against that, that is fine. But they have to realize that there will be criticism for it. I don't understand how you decide one can be normal and my example is not. Oh, I guess it is because you said thus....that makes it correct.
Wow, you are so worked up you have to attack the way I write... That is impressive!
You are judging this mother and her children babies off of your view of the breast that the way this society has twisted attachment. You should understand that they don't view that breast the same way you do. To them (and our family) the breast is NOT and object of sex and children are allowed to nurse as long as they need that attachment. When children are raised with that view there is nothing disgusting about it, you are judging her on on constructs that DON'T fit!
I'm sorry I have never see a tribe/ society ,that is completely nude all the time. All the tribe I have see wear at least a tiny cloth or even a long pole like structure which covers the penis. Apparently you had a background in human studies?
Additionally, just because a society deems something as acceptable doesn't make it right. Let's look at some of the thing the masses have done which have harmed people: slavery, genocide, segregating, etc. Currently our (American) society has supported abuse and drugs through popular media. I'm not going to teach my child that is OK, yet is it is social acceptable to sing "slap the b**** up"! Not saying you do feel it is OK, just and example...
I'm going with research on this one,and with in the realm of biological behavior, perfectly normal and healthy. Boobs= nurture
"You are judging this mother and her children babies off of your view of the breast that the way this society has twisted attachment. You should understand that they don't view that breast the same way you do. To them (and our family) the breast is NOT and object of sex"
1) You are judging this mother off your view that has been taught to you as well. Maybe not societal, but you have bought into some kind of propaganda as well. Who knows whats right. Maybe both arguments are.
2) No one is saying that this is a perverse sexual act. You are the only one bringing that up....
3) Seeing as you know this woman personally....and she has explained the whole deal over coffee....I can understand your absurd idea that the reason the majority of us are grossed out by this is because we have media driven missunderstandings and a bad image of our breasts and what their purpose is.
4) As off topic this is.... ....There are a lot of tribes, not just in Africa, who are naked-totally naked. Boys, girls, old men, young women, all of them. Anyway I would love to be naked all the time, with some of my tribal status jewlery and clay lip plate....however my society does not condone this. Good for you and YOUR human studies degree. You got to travel all over the whole world and personally inspect the small tribes for their use of fabric.
5) I'm not the biggest fan of my society or our country's history. Unfortunately this is the one I am apart of. So if this woman jus' hasta keep breastfeeding her grade school children she should move to an impoverished "society" where it is "socially" acceptable. So that these kids aren't permanently damaged from it.
The "sexualized breast" is the most common argument that I find, therefore I typically cover it first. So out of curiosity, why do you find a child nursing at 8 unacceptable?
I have read you argument on the fact it is not the "social norm" therefor mom should not nurse that long. However, as I mentioned above, just because society approves or disapproves of something doesn't mean they are right. There are plenty of thing in this culture that I don't support and plenty of things that I do support (as with any culture). Therefor, as a parent I look at the "pop culture" and teach my child (later children) what we find acceptable and what we don't find acceptable (and why). Our family chooses to teach our children different on this matter, and shouldn't have to move because people (the majority of society) have a different view. Research has supported our belief and I have had the chance to spend time with moms who nurse-full term and watch there children grow. From my experiences and additional information, I see nothing wrong.
K
Wendy - posted on 04/30/2009
70
15
Quoting Hannah:
Quoting Wendy:
Quoting Sarah:
It is only NORMAL in some cultures to wear clothing. You referenced a particular tribe in Africa that breastfeeds until 15 years old which you said was natural for them. It is also completely natural for some tribes to not wear clothing. Not everyone wears clothes to protect them from the elements. It has all different purposes. However, our society is not run by what is NORMAL and natural in other countries. It is what we have collectively decided what is acceptable. If people want to go against that, that is fine. But they have to realize that there will be criticism for it. I don't understand how you decide one can be normal and my example is not. Oh, I guess it is because you said thus....that makes it correct.
Wow, you are so worked up you have to attack the way I write... That is impressive!
You are judging this mother and her children babies off of your view of the breast that the way this society has twisted attachment. You should understand that they don't view that breast the same way you do. To them (and our family) the breast is NOT and object of sex and children are allowed to nurse as long as they need that attachment. When children are raised with that view there is nothing disgusting about it, you are judging her on on constructs that DON'T fit!
I'm sorry I have never see a tribe/ society ,that is completely nude all the time. All the tribe I have see wear at least a tiny cloth or even a long pole like structure which covers the penis. Apparently you had a background in human studies?
Additionally, just because a society deems something as acceptable doesn't make it right. Let's look at some of the thing the masses have done which have harmed people: slavery, genocide, segregating, etc. Currently our (American) society has supported abuse and drugs through popular media. I'm not going to teach my child that is OK, yet is it is social acceptable to sing "slap the b**** up"! Not saying you do feel it is OK, just and example...
I'm going with research on this one,and with in the realm of biological behavior, perfectly normal and healthy. Boobs= nurture
"You are judging this mother and her children babies off of your view of the breast that the way this society has twisted attachment. You should understand that they don't view that breast the same way you do. To them (and our family) the breast is NOT and object of sex"
1) You are judging this mother off your view that has been taught to you as well. Maybe not societal, but you have bought into some kind of propaganda as well. Who knows whats right. Maybe both arguments are.
2) No one is saying that this is a perverse sexual act. You are the only one bringing that up....
3) Seeing as you know this woman personally....and she has explained the whole deal over coffee....I can understand your absurd idea that the reason the majority of us are grossed out by this is because we have media driven missunderstandings and a bad image of our breasts and what their purpose is.
4) As off topic this is.... ....There are a lot of tribes, not just in Africa, who are naked-totally naked. Boys, girls, old men, young women, all of them. Anyway I would love to be naked all the time, with some of my tribal status jewlery and clay lip plate....however my society does not condone this. Good for you and YOUR human studies degree. You got to travel all over the whole world and personally inspect the small tribes for their use of fabric.
5) I'm not the biggest fan of my society or our country's history. Unfortunately this is the one I am apart of. So if this woman jus' hasta keep breastfeeding her grade school children she should move to an impoverished "society" where it is "socially" acceptable. So that these kids aren't permanently damaged from it.
The "sexualized breast" is the most common argument that I find, therefore I typically cover it first. So out of curiosity, why do you find a child nursing at 8 unacceptable?
I have read you argument on the fact it is not the "social norm" therefor mom should not nurse that long. However, as I mentioned above, just because society approves or disapproves of something doesn't mean they are right. There are plenty of thing in this culture that I don't support and plenty of things that I do support (as with any culture). Therefor, as a parent I look at the "pop culture" and teach my child (later children) what we find acceptable and what we don't find acceptable (and why). Our family chooses to teach our children different on this matter, and shouldn't have to move because people (the majority of society) have a different view. Research has supported our belief and I have had the chance to spend time with moms who nurse-full term and watch there children grow. From my experiences and additional information, I see nothing wrong.
Tara - posted on 04/29/2009
38
26
I am a nursing student who just finished writing a paper on breastfeeding. I also have a three year old, who I breastfed for two years. The sexualization of the breast in our society has caused many women chose formula over breastfeeding which is very sad. Eight years old may be pushing the limit but I find the fact that they are posting videos of it on the web far more disturbing than the breastfeeding itself.
There are studies that were done in europe that show benefits for breastfeeding up to the age of six. The World Health Organization recomends until two and beyond which says something. They also list formula as the fouth best option for infant feeding. For those women saying babies should be weaned by one year or as soon as they can speak are you recomending formula? Cow's milk is not suposed to be given to children until after they are two.
It makes me sad that there is so much judgement passes on women breastfeeding.
Barbara - posted on 04/29/2009
537
19
Quoting Cindy:
Quoting Barbara:
Quoting Sara:
If your child can say "boobie" then you can say "no, food"! It's an almost unbreakable bond between mothers and child...but if your child can speak, they should not be breastfeeding! The mother has taken it too far..not willing to let go. It's a quiet time between the two when the mother can look down lovingly at her child, enjoy the peace, and most of all I think it is the mother "needing" to be "needed". I absolutely love breastfeeding, but it's to be done until the child can eat whole foods...to me, you get past two and its time to consider your mental status and why your really still doing it, because at that age, it's no longer a need.
What about breastfeeding a child that can read, which is what my mother did for me! ( I weaned just before my fourth birthday.)
The WHO reccommends nursing until your child is a MINIMUM of two years. That is the minimum amount of time, mind you. There is no maximum time, because it is always a benefit to the child. Our western culture may tell us that it is wrong to nurse an older child, but that is just a custom. There are a lot of crazy customs throughout the world that people take seriously. But a custom is just a custom, and they differ from family to family.
The world average for weaning is 4 years old. That is factoring in our culture which doesn't nurse very long at all, so you know that somewhere there are a lot of older nursers evening things out. Just because it doesn't happen where you are, doesn't mean that it is "WRONG."
You guys have spent a lot of time arguing over whether it is just because of the 'norm' in our culture and whether it is harmful or not. Many of you saying that it is not psychologically harmful to that 8 year old. I believe it IS harmful BECAUSE that child is living in this culture. They will both (mother AND the child) have to deal with other's comments about their choice. That child is developing social relationships outside the family and is testing where s/he 'fit'. Attached to mom's breast and not dealing with their problems/curiousities/questions about relationships is not a way to teach a child how to get along in society. Like it or not, wrong or right it is still something that will affect the child because those outside the family will weigh in whether they mean to or not by their looks, their actions and what they say when they think their kids (the friends in 3rd grade with the child) aren't listening. That will cause mountains of grief for this child.
I guess then you have to start looking at the smaller cultures within the larger society, even on a single family level. There are a lot of things that my husband and I do differently from the majority of society as a whole, but our group of friends and close family members approve of our differences, and also choose to employ most of those different approaches in their own families. This makes it a lot easier to do something like breastfeed a toddler in public, despite a few strange looks, armed with the support of our family and friends.
No culture is completely static, it is ever changing. Just the mere threat of disapproval has never kept people from changing their ways when they felt it was necessary. Individual changes become adopted by small groups, and then larger groups. Then sometime down the road those same abherrent practices become commonplace, and someone changes them again. Basically, we may know the ways of the larger society this woman and her daughters are a part of, but we don't know who they spend their time with and what kind of support they actually have/don't have. It's easy to speculate, but perhaps their lives aren't as miserable as we may presume.
Jenniefer - posted on 04/29/2009
70
2
if they can walk over and get it they are too old...moms mobile milk bar is CLOSED!!!
Sarah - posted on 04/29/2009
194
9
Quoting Hannah:
Quoting Wendy:
Quoting Sarah:
It is only NORMAL in some cultures to wear clothing. You referenced a particular tribe in Africa that breastfeeds until 15 years old which you said was natural for them. It is also completely natural for some tribes to not wear clothing. Not everyone wears clothes to protect them from the elements. It has all different purposes. However, our society is not run by what is NORMAL and natural in other countries. It is what we have collectively decided what is acceptable. If people want to go against that, that is fine. But they have to realize that there will be criticism for it. I don't understand how you decide one can be normal and my example is not. Oh, I guess it is because you said thus....that makes it correct.
Wow, you are so worked up you have to attack the way I write... That is impressive!
You are judging this mother and her children babies off of your view of the breast that the way this society has twisted attachment. You should understand that they don't view that breast the same way you do. To them (and our family) the breast is NOT and object of sex and children are allowed to nurse as long as they need that attachment. When children are raised with that view there is nothing disgusting about it, you are judging her on on constructs that DON'T fit!
I'm sorry I have never see a tribe/ society ,that is completely nude all the time. All the tribe I have see wear at least a tiny cloth or even a long pole like structure which covers the penis. Apparently you had a background in human studies?
Additionally, just because a society deems something as acceptable doesn't make it right. Let's look at some of the thing the masses have done which have harmed people: slavery, genocide, segregating, etc. Currently our (American) society has supported abuse and drugsthrough popular media. I'm not going to teach my child that is OK, yet is it is social acceptable to sing "slap the b**** up"! Not saying you do feel it is OK, just and example...
I'm going with research on this one,and with in the realm of biological behavior, perfectly normal and healthy. Boobs= nurture
"You are judging this mother and her children babies off of your view of the breast that the way this society has twisted attachment. You should understand that they don't view that breast the same way you do. To them (and our family) the breast is NOT and object of sex"
1) You are judging this mother off your view that has been taught to you as well. Maybe not societal, but you have bought into some kind of propaganda as well. Who knows whats right. Maybe both arguments are.
2) No one is saying that this is a perverse sexual act. You are the only one bringing that up....
3) Seeing as you know this woman personally....and she has explained the whole deal over coffee....I can understand your absurd idea that the reason the majority of us are grossed out by this is because we have media driven missunderstandings and a bad image of our breasts and what their purpose is.
4) As off topic this is.... ....There are a lot of tribes, not just in Africa, who are naked-totally naked. Boys, girls, old men, young women, all of them. Anyway I would love to be naked all the time, with some of my tribal status jewlery and clay lip plate....however my society does not condone this. Good for you and YOUR human studies degree. You got to travel all over the whole world and personally inspect the small tribes for their use of fabric.
5) Im not the biggest fan of my society or our country's history. Unfortunatly this is the one I am apart of. So if this woman jus' hasta keep breastfeeding her grade school children she should move to an impovrished "society" where it is "socially" accaptable. So that these kids arent permanatly damaged from it.
Completely agree Hannah!!
I have never once said that I view breast as an object of sex. I clearly said the in our household boobs are just part of the body. Maybe you should read what I said before telling me what my views are. I also never said it was disgusting.
Just because YOU have never seen something, doesn't meen it doesn't exist. The Yanomami and Tupari tribes of the Amazon are a few examples of what I was referring to.
Sarah - posted on 04/29/2009
194
9
Quoting Hannah:
Quoting Wendy:
Quoting Sarah:
It is only NORMAL in some cultures to wear clothing. You referenced a particular tribe in Africa that breastfeeds until 15 years old which you said was natural for them. It is also completely natural for some tribes to not wear clothing. Not everyone wears clothes to protect them from the elements. It has all different purposes. However, our society is not run by what is NORMAL and natural in other countries. It is what we have collectively decided what is acceptable. If people want to go against that, that is fine. But they have to realize that there will be criticism for it. I don't understand how you decide one can be normal and my example is not. Oh, I guess it is because you said thus....that makes it correct.
Wow, you are so worked up you have to attack the way I write... That is impressive!
You are judging this mother and her children babies off of your view of the breast that the way this society has twisted attachment. You should understand that they don't view that breast the same way you do. To them (and our family) the breast is NOT and object of sex and children are allowed to nurse as long as they need that attachment. When children are raised with that view there is nothing disgusting about it, you are judging her on on constructs that DON'T fit!
I'm sorry I have never see a tribe/ society ,that is completely nude all the time. All the tribe I have see wear at least a tiny cloth or even a long pole like structure which covers the penis. Apparently you had a background in human studies?
Additionally, just because a society deems something as acceptable doesn't make it right. Let's look at some of the thing the masses have done which have harmed people: slavery, genocide, segregating, etc. Currently our (American) society has supported abuse and drugsthrough popular media. I'm not going to teach my child that is OK, yet is it is social acceptable to sing "slap the b**** up"! Not saying you do feel it is OK, just and example...
I'm going with research on this one,and with in the realm of biological behavior, perfectly normal and healthy. Boobs= nurture
"You are judging this mother and her children babies off of your view of the breast that the way this society has twisted attachment. You should understand that they don't view that breast the same way you do. To them (and our family) the breast is NOT and object of sex"
1) You are judging this mother off your view that has been taught to you as well. Maybe not societal, but you have bought into some kind of propaganda as well. Who knows whats right. Maybe both arguments are.
2) No one is saying that this is a perverse sexual act. You are the only one bringing that up....
3) Seeing as you know this woman personally....and she has explained the whole deal over coffee....I can understand your absurd idea that the reason the majority of us are grossed out by this is because we have media driven missunderstandings and a bad image of our breasts and what their purpose is.
4) As off topic this is.... ....There are a lot of tribes, not just in Africa, who are naked-totally naked. Boys, girls, old men, young women, all of them. Anyway I would love to be naked all the time, with some of my tribal status jewlery and clay lip plate....however my society does not condone this. Good for you and YOUR human studies degree. You got to travel all over the whole world and personally inspect the small tribes for their use of fabric.
5) Im not the biggest fan of my society or our country's history. Unfortunatly this is the one I am apart of. So if this woman jus' hasta keep breastfeeding her grade school children she should move to an impovrished "society" where it is "socially" accaptable. So that these kids arent permanatly damaged from it.
Completely agree Hannah!!
I have never once said that I view breast as an object of sex. I clearly said the in our household boobs are just part of the body. Maybe you should read what I said before telling me what my views are. I also never said it was disgusting.
Just because YOU have never seen something, doesn't meen it doesn't exist. The Yanomami and Tupari tribes of the Amazon are a few examples of what I was referring to.
Tracy - posted on 04/29/2009
1
0
I was in the process of trying to quit bf my almost 2 year old when she came down with a bad viral infection. She wouldn't eat or drink so I started to bf again. The drs. said she would have been dehydrated, etc. and I was glad I started again to keep her healthy. She has never had an ear infection or been on antibiotics. I have 5 kids and I was the mom out there thinking bf was gross and so forth until I had my 4th and we decided to try it. I quit at 9 months and now I think I should quit because she is old enough. My problem is she doesn't like milk and I am afraid to quit for that fact. But my point is that I have been in each situation and I think people should just think to each their own and let people do what they think. Eight is excessive, maybe that mom should pump if she is worried about the nutrients?!
Erin - posted on 04/29/2009
21
10
I think i saw that video it was with 2 children an 8 year old and a 5 year old or something. they were from somewhere in europe. i agree that that is just too long. if you could have heard some of the comments the kids made it was disgusting. the mother made the comment that she would make them stop by college. lol. poor kids. i'd say for me personally, i wouldn't go past 3. i think it depends on the child. but i was devestated when i was told to stop bf my daughter at 2 weeks. oh well. to each his own. :)
Kristy - posted on 04/29/2009
23
26
My daughter just turned 2 on sunday and she is still nursing mostly in the evening before bed. I know people that have nursed their child untill their third birthday but never any one that has nursed as long as 8 years. I can understand if the child has some kind of health issue that only allows her to get the nutrtion she needs by nursing but I feel that if it has to go that long the mother should be pumping by this age if the child needs it or still wants it. the child should not be nursing from the mom in pu blic at this age.
Kristy - posted on 04/29/2009
23
26
My daughter just turned 2 on sunday and she is still nursing mostly in the evening before bed. I know people that have nursed their child untill their third birthday but never any one that has nursed as long as 8 years. I can understand if the child has some kind of health issue that only allows her to get the nutrtion she needs by nursing but I feel that if it has to go that long the mother should be pumping by this age if the child needs it or still wants it. the child should not be nursing from the mom in pu blic at this age.
Kristy - posted on 04/29/2009
23
26
My daughter just turned 2 on sunday and she is still nursing mostly in the evening before bed. I know people that have nursed their child untill their third birthday but never any one that has nursed as long as 8 years. I can understand if the child has some kind of health issue that only allows her to get the nutrtion she needs by nursing but I feel that if it has to go that long the mother should be pumping by this age if the child needs it or still wants it. the child should not be nursing from the mom in pu blic at this age.
Kristy - posted on 04/29/2009
23
26
My daughter just turned 2 on sunday and she is still nursing mostly in the evening before bed. I know people that have nursed their child untill their third birthday but never any one that has nursed as long as 8 years. I can understand if the child has some kind of health issue that only allows her to get the nutrtion she needs by nursing but I feel that if it has to go that long the mother should be pumping by this age if the child needs it or still wants it. the child should not be nursing from the mom in pu blic at this age.
Hannah - posted on 04/29/2009
475
2
Quoting Wendy:
Quoting Sarah:
It is only NORMAL in some cultures to wear clothing. You referenced a particular tribe in Africa that breastfeeds until 15 years old which you said was natural for them. It is also completely natural for some tribes to not wear clothing. Not everyone wears clothes to protect them from the elements. It has all different purposes. However, our society is not run by what is NORMAL and natural in other countries. It is what we have collectively decided what is acceptable. If people want to go against that, that is fine. But they have to realize that there will be criticism for it. I don't understand how you decide one can be normal and my example is not. Oh, I guess it is because you said thus....that makes it correct.
Wow, you are so worked up you have to attack the way I write... That is impressive!
You are judging this mother and her children babies off of your view of the breast that the way this society has twisted attachment. You should understand that they don't view that breast the same way you do. To them (and our family) the breast is NOT and object of sex and children are allowed to nurse as long as they need that attachment. When children are raised with that view there is nothing disgusting about it, you are judging her on on constructs that DON'T fit!
I'm sorry I have never see a tribe/ society ,that is completely nude all the time. All the tribe I have see wear at least a tiny cloth or even a long pole like structure which covers the penis. Apparently you had a background in human studies?
Additionally, just because a society deems something as acceptable doesn't make it right. Let's look at some of the thing the masses have done which have harmed people: slavery, genocide, segregating, etc. Currently our (American) society has supported abuse and drugsthrough popular media. I'm not going to teach my child that is OK, yet is it is social acceptable to sing "slap the b**** up"! Not saying you do feel it is OK, just and example...
I'm going with research on this one,and with in the realm of biological behavior, perfectly normal and healthy. Boobs= nurture
"You are judging this mother and her children babies off of your view of the breast that the way this society has twisted attachment. You should understand that they don't view that breast the same way you do. To them (and our family) the breast is NOT and object of sex"
1) You are judging this mother off your view that has been taught to you as well. Maybe not societal, but you have bought into some kind of propaganda as well. Who knows whats right. Maybe both arguments are.
2) No one is saying that this is a perverse sexual act. You are the only one bringing that up....
3) Seeing as you know this woman personally....and she has explained the whole deal over coffee....I can understand your absurd idea that the reason the majority of us are grossed out by this is because we have media driven missunderstandings and a bad image of our breasts and what their purpose is.
4) As off topic this is.... ....There are a lot of tribes, not just in Africa, who are naked-totally naked. Boys, girls, old men, young women, all of them. Anyway I would love to be naked all the time, with some of my tribal status jewlery and clay lip plate....however my society does not condone this. Good for you and YOUR human studies degree. You got to travel all over the whole world and personally inspect the small tribes for their use of fabric.
5) Im not the biggest fan of my society or our country's history. Unfortunatly this is the one I am apart of. So if this woman jus' hasta keep breastfeeding her grade school children she should move to an impovrished "society" where it is "socially" accaptable. So that these kids arent permanatly damaged from it.
Wendy - posted on 04/29/2009
70
15
Quoting Sarah:
Quoting Wendy:
Quoting Sarah:
Quoting Wendy:
The nursing relationship should be oven when it is no longer mutually desired by both mother and child.
That said in many countries were full-term nursing/ child-led weaning is is the social (since it is the biological) norm children, typically wean between between 3 and 6 years of age. However one tribe (in Africa I believe) nurses their children until 15 years old.
Many people base the weaning age (in industrialized countries) parenting myths and a sexual obsession of the female breast. When my DD nurses (23 months) if feels NOTHING like when my husband touches them. Same is the same with kisses, when I kiss my husband it is not the same as when I give my DD a kiss, etc.
Additionally, research has proven that as long as the breastfeeding relationship is continuing both mother and child are getting many health (physical, emotional, social, and psychological) benefits.
My son doesn't like to wear clothing. Being naked is natural, it is how we are born. Living in the society that we do, I have to make him wear clothing. If it were up to him, he would always be naked. It is my responsibility as his mother, to teach him what is acceptable and what is not in our society. Other cultures and countries do things differently, but the mother in the video was from the U.K., which is an industrialized country. So, while my son DESIRES to do something that seems natural to him, he has to learn how to behave in our culture. I wouldn't go around justifying to everyone that my son is naked because it is natural and by the way, there are African and Melanesian cultures where the men walk around completely naked. It is just inane.
According to research it is biological NORMAL for a child to nurse well past two years of age. Additionally, while clothing is socially acceptable here most other cultures wear clothing too. The type and amount they wear is in accordance with the conditions they live in. The Eskimos wore/ wear seal hide because it keeps the body warm while allowing moisture to escape preventing them from freezing. Many cultures in desert regions wear full body clothing which protects them from the sun and whisks moisture away in order to keep them cool. Thus it is NORMAL for human to wear clothing to protect them from the elements. Nevertheless, this is getting off topic...
I don't feel that because of society has turned the breast into a sexual object and has filled parenting into a bunch of impractical myths, I should subject my child to that. I know that she is still undergoing rapid brain development..., therefore I choose to reject the social idea that child should stop nurse when they get teeth (she got her first ones at 4 months), to stop nursing when they can ask to nurse (she has been asking since the day she was born), etc.... Therefore I continue to nurse so my daughter can have the natural forms of DHA and ARA that are in my breast milk which support her brain development.
I also continue to nurse my child because breastfeeding is far more than just feeding her. Through nursing I meet her other needs. As a parent I choose to sort through the junk supported by society and choose what is best for my child. I strongly recommend the book, A Natural Age of Weaning"!
We choose to teach our children that the breast is for nurturing children!
It is only NORMAL in some cultures to wear clothing. You referenced a particular tribe in Africa that breastfeeds until 15 years old which you said was natural for them. It is also completely natural for some tribes to not wear clothing. Not everyone wears clothes to protect them from the elements. It has all different purposes. However, our society is not run by what is NORMAL and natural in other countries. It is what we have collectively decided what is acceptable. If people want to go against that, that is fine. But they have to realize that there will be criticism for it. I don't understand how you decide one can be normal and my example is not. Oh, I guess it is because you said thus....that makes it correct.
Wow, you are so worked up you have to attack the way I write... That is impressive!
You are judging this mother and her children babies off of your view of the breast that the way this society has twisted attachment. You should understand that they don't view that breast the same way you do. To them (and our family) the breast is NOT and object of sex and children are allowed to nurse as long as they need that attachment. When children are raised with that view there is nothing disgusting about it, you are judging her on on constructs that DON'T fit!
I'm sorry I have never see a tribe/ society ,that is completely nude all the time. All the tribe I have see wear at least a tiny cloth or even a long pole like structure which covers the penis. Apparently you had a background in human studies?
Additionally, just because a society deems something as acceptable doesn't make it right. Let's look at some of the thing the masses have done which have harmed people: slavery, genocide, segregating, etc. Currently our (American) society has supported abuse and drugsthrough popular media. I'm not going to teach my child that is OK, yet is it is social acceptable to sing "slap the b**** up"! Not saying you do feel it is OK, just and example...
I'm going with research on this one,and with in the realm of biological behavior, perfectly normal and healthy. Boobs= nurture
Jessie - posted on 04/29/2009
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I know this conversations has taken many turns but I have so enjoyed reading everyone's responses!
One thing that has been bothering me though is how so many people seem to be getting bad information about breastfeeding - namely how long it benefits the child and mother. I hate to think of all the bad information that is being given to women, and from their own doctors!
Marie posted a wonderful link on breastfeeding toddlers by Dr. Jack Newman - I will post it here again, it clarifies a few things.
http://bellybelly.com.au/articles/toddle...
I adore Dr. Jack Newman, he is so wonderful, I would encourage everyone to read his book, he really sheds some light on many of the typical myths surrounding breastfeeding.
. - posted on 04/29/2009
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Okay I just watched that clip (I have seen it aired on Tyra once). No one can convince me that is normal! What happens when those girls get older, into high school and their peers come across that clip? those poor girls are going to be tourmented about that!
Cindy - posted on 04/28/2009
1
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Quoting Barbara:
Quoting Sara:
If your child can say "boobie" then you can say "no, food"! It's an almost unbreakable bond between mothers and child...but if your child can speak, they should not be breastfeeding! The mother has taken it too far..not willing to let go. It's a quiet time between the two when the mother can look down lovingly at her child, enjoy the peace, and most of all I think it is the mother "needing" to be "needed". I absolutely love breastfeeding, but it's to be done until the child can eat whole foods...to me, you get past two and its time to consider your mental status and why your really still doing it, because at that age, it's no longer a need.
What about breastfeeding a child that can read, which is what my mother did for me! ( I weaned just before my fourth birthday.)
The WHO reccommends nursing until your child is a MINIMUM of two years. That is the minimum amount of time, mind you. There is no maximum time, because it is always a benefit to the child. Our western culture may tell us that it is wrong to nurse an older child, but that is just a custom. There are a lot of crazy customs throughout the world that people take seriously. But a custom is just a custom, and they differ from family to family.
The world average for weaning is 4 years old. That is factoring in our culture which doesn't nurse very long at all, so you know that somewhere there are a lot of older nursers evening things out. Just because it doesn't happen where you are, doesn't mean that it is "WRONG."
You guys have spent a lot of time arguing over whether it is just because of the 'norm' in our culture and whether it is harmful or not. Many of you saying that it is not psychologically harmful to that 8 year old. I believe it IS harmful BECAUSE that child is living in this culture. They will both (mother AND the child) have to deal with other's comments about their choice. That child is developing social relationships outside the family and is testing where s/he 'fit'. Attached to mom's breast and not dealing with their problems/curiousities/questions about relationships is not a way to teach a child how to get along in society. Like it or not, wrong or right it is still something that will affect the child because those outside the family will weigh in whether they mean to or not by their looks, their actions and what they say when they think their kids (the friends in 3rd grade with the child) aren't listening. That will cause mountains of grief for this child.
Laura - posted on 04/28/2009
1
27
Personally, I think anything over a year is too old. I have known parents to nurse until kindergarten, whih is just RIDICULOUS. I couldn''t see doing it once your child can walk.
Angela - posted on 04/28/2009
27
15
My friend was from a poor country and they feed there child till he was 5 and that was normal there. I think two after that I read the benefit is slim but actually hooking a kid at your breast I would feel weird after one. I would just pump the milk for them.
Vanessa - posted on 04/28/2009
21
5
That is def gross. At least to me! Once your child cuts teeth it is time to take the boobie out and put the bottle/sippy cup in. I am sorry but that is how I feel. I never breast fed and dont see anything wrongwith it. Unless you are a grown child! Wow that is really messing my head up lol I am mad and idk the person and didnt even see it
Marie - posted on 04/28/2009
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While I agree that breastfeeding an 8 year old seems to demonstrate a level of issues, I also believe that children should be breastfed as long as they want to. Up to the age of 4, even 5 can be beneficial for both mother and child.
I found this article written by Dr. Jack Newman on one of my collected baby sites:
http://bellybelly.com.au/articles/toddle...
Cheers
Melanie - posted on 04/28/2009
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47
I was unable to feed my first child after 7 weeks due to his weightloss & was determined to feed my second as long as possible! my husband thought 6mths was long enough but i aimed for about the 1 yr mark, she was actually nearly 2! she refused all offers of dummy or bottle & would only accept breastmilk from the source! i loved it but missed my freedom at the same time. its definately a personal choice after all its your body but i think if a child is old enough to ask for the breast then they're too old to have it! & 8 is definately too long in my opinion!!
Anna - posted on 04/28/2009
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lol I totally agree..8yrs is way too old.. Even though I breast fed till my daughter was about 2 1/2 she only nursed when she was sick or at nap time.
Deanna - posted on 04/28/2009
1
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i would probably be uncomfortable with that age too. I was fortunate, i didn't have to decide. i weened my first at 14 months because i stopped producing, i could have persued it, but i took it has it was time for us to both move on. My second was too wired to sit still, he is a teenager now and is still on the go all the time, i weened him at 8 months (heartbreaking). I guess every mom has to listen to their own hearts and instincts, this is a very individual decision.
Crystal - posted on 04/28/2009
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I don't think I could breastfeed for that long and sorry to say, but she better hope the girl's friends don't find out, unless they are still doing it too. So yes, breastmilk has good health benefits and that DHA thing, but I just don't see me doing it for that long. I would think once they get into school that would definately be it (if not before). My doctor was acting like 2 was too long!
Andrea - posted on 04/28/2009
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I think no longer than the 1st year. Eight is WAYYY to old!
Stacey - posted on 04/28/2009
12
2
Once they can say "hey mom can I have a drink", they are too old!
Post potty training, too old. God bless those who want to, but for me personally, teeth end the deal.
Vanessa - posted on 04/28/2009
7
0
The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding until at least 2 years old, so that was good enough for me. Yes it does have nutritional, psychological and immunological benefits that you cant just get from food. Cows milk really isnt great for humans, despite the hype.
Breast feeding certainly was fantastic when I travelled to asia with my toddler last year and he didnt like the local food and also had an attack of gastro. I certainly wouldnt want my child to grow up with too many memories of breastfeeding, but I dont think them being able to speak or ask for a breastfeed is a decent reason for stopping early.
Vanessa - posted on 04/28/2009
7
0
The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding until at least 2 years old, so that was good enough for me. Yes it does have nutritional, psychological and immunological benefits that you cant just get from food. Cows milk really isnt great for humans, despite the hype.
Breast feeding certainly was fantastic when I travelled to asia with my toddler last year and he didnt like the local food and also had an attack of gastro. I certainly wouldnt want my child to grow up with too many memories of breastfeeding, but I dont think them being able to speak or ask for a breastfeed is a decent reason for stopping early.
Barbara - posted on 04/28/2009
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Quoting Sara:
i under stand what u r saying but if u wanted 2 give yr child breast milk wouldnt it be better to express it i wish i could have breast fed longer than 2 days but my son was having none of it he hardly ate in those 2 days so i was advised 2 go on 2 bottle
Because It's the whole experience, not just the milk. Actually, at some point it's probably more about the other aspects of nursing than the milk. I'm sorry that you wanted to nurse but were unable. It can be really hard, I know. There's always next time;)
Sarah - posted on 04/28/2009
194
9
Quoting Wendy:
Quoting Sarah:
Quoting Wendy:
The nursing relationship should be oven when it is no longer mutually desired by both mother and child.
That said in many countries were full-term nursing/ child-led weaning is is the social (since it is the biological) norm children, typically wean between between 3 and 6 years of age. However one tribe (in Africa I believe) nurses their children until 15 years old.
Many people base the weaning age (in industrialized countries) parenting myths and a sexual obsession of the female breast. When my DD nurses (23 months) if feels NOTHING like when my husband touches them. Same is the same with kisses, when I kiss my husband it is not the same as when I give my DD a kiss, etc.
Additionally, research has proven that as long as the breastfeeding relationship is continuing both mother and child are getting many health (physical, emotional, social, and psychological) benefits.
My son doesn't like to wear clothing. Being naked is natural, it is how we are born. Living in the society that we do, I have to make him wear clothing. If it were up to him, he would always be naked. It is my responsibility as his mother, to teach him what is acceptable and what is not in our society. Other cultures and countries do things differently, but the mother in the video was from the U.K., which is an industrialized country. So, while my son DESIRES to do something that seems natural to him, he has to learn how to behave in our culture. I wouldn't go around justifying to everyone that my son is naked because it is natural and by the way, there are African and Melanesian cultures where the men walk around completely naked. It is just inane.
According to research it is biological NORMAL for a child to nurse well past two years of age. Additionally, while clothing is socially acceptable here most other cultures wear clothing too. The type and amount they wear is in accordance with the conditions they live in. The Eskimos wore/ wear seal hide because it keeps the body warm while allowing moisture to escape preventing them from freezing. Many cultures in desert regions wear full body clothing which protects them from the sun and whisks moisture away in order to keep them cool. Thus it is NORMAL for human to wear clothing to protect them from the elements. Nevertheless, this is getting off topic...
I don't feel that because of society has turned the breast into a sexual object and has filled parenting into a bunch of impractical myths, I should subject my child to that. I know that she is still undergoing rapid brain development..., therefore I choose to reject the social idea that child should stop nurse when they get teeth (she got her first ones at 4 months), to stop nursing when they can ask to nurse (she has been asking since the day she was born), etc.... Therefore I continue to nurse so my daughter can have the natural forms of DHA and ARA that are in my breast milk which support her brain development.
I also continue to nurse my child because breastfeeding is far more than just feeding her. Through nursing I meet her other needs. As a parent I choose to sort through the junk supported by society and choose what is best for my child. I strongly recommend the book, A Natural Age of Weaning"!
We choose to teach our children that the breast is for nurturing children!
It is only NORMAL in some cultures to wear clothing. You referenced a particular tribe in Africa that breastfeeds until 15 years old which you said was natural for them. It is also completely natural for some tribes to not wear clothing. Not everyone wears clothes to protect them from the elements. It has all different purposes. However, our society is not run by what is NORMAL and natural in other countries. It is what we have collectively decided what is acceptable. If people want to go against that, that is fine. But they have to realize that there will be criticism for it. I don't understand how you decide one can be normal and my example is not. Oh, I guess it is because you said thus....that makes it correct.
Sarah - posted on 04/28/2009
194
9
Quoting Wendy:
Quoting Sarah:
Quoting Wendy:
The nursing relationship should be oven when it is no longer mutually desired by both mother and child.
That said in many countries were full-term nursing/ child-led weaning is is the social (since it is the biological) norm children, typically wean between between 3 and 6 years of age. However one tribe (in Africa I believe) nurses their children until 15 years old.
Many people base the weaning age (in industrialized countries) parenting myths and a sexual obsession of the female breast. When my DD nurses (23 months) if feels NOTHING like when my husband touches them. Same is the same with kisses, when I kiss my husband it is not the same as when I give my DD a kiss, etc.
Additionally, research has proven that as long as the breastfeeding relationship is continuing both mother and child are getting many health (physical, emotional, social, and psychological) benefits.
My son doesn't like to wear clothing. Being naked is natural, it is how we are born. Living in the society that we do, I have to make him wear clothing. If it were up to him, he would always be naked. It is my responsibility as his mother, to teach him what is acceptable and what is not in our society. Other cultures and countries do things differently, but the mother in the video was from the U.K., which is an industrialized country. So, while my son DESIRES to do something that seems natural to him, he has to learn how to behave in our culture. I wouldn't go around justifying to everyone that my son is naked because it is natural and by the way, there are African and Melanesian cultures where the men walk around completely naked. It is just inane.
According to research it is biological NORMAL for a child to nurse well past two years of age. Additionally, while clothing is socially acceptable here most other cultures wear clothing too. The type and amount they wear is in accordance with the conditions they live in. The Eskimos wore/ wear seal hide because it keeps the body warm while allowing moisture to escape preventing them from freezing. Many cultures in desert regions wear full body clothing which protects them from the sun and whisks moisture away in order to keep them cool. Thus it is NORMAL for human to wear clothing to protect them from the elements. Nevertheless, this is getting off topic...
I don't feel that because of society has turned the breast into a sexual object and has filled parenting into a bunch of impractical myths, I should subject my child to that. I know that she is still undergoing rapid brain development..., therefore I choose to reject the social idea that child should stop nurse when they get teeth (she got her first ones at 4 months), to stop nursing when they can ask to nurse (she has been asking since the day she was born), etc.... Therefore I continue to nurse so my daughter can have the natural forms of DHA and ARA that are in my breast milk which support her brain development.
I also continue to nurse my child because breastfeeding is far more than just feeding her. Through nursing I meet her other needs. As a parent I choose to sort through the junk supported by society and choose what is best for my child. I strongly recommend the book, A Natural Age of Weaning"!
We choose to teach our children that the breast is for nurturing children!
It is only NORMAL in some cultures to wear clothing. You referenced a particular tribe in Africa that breastfeeds until 15 years old which you said was natural for them. It is also completely natural for some tribes to not wear clothing. Not everyone wears clothes to protect them from the elements. It has all different purposes. However, our society is not run by what is NORMAL and natural in other countries. It is what we have collectively decided what is acceptable. If people want to go against that, that is fine. But they have to realize that there will be criticism for it. I don't understand how you decide one can be normal and my example is not. Oh, I guess it is because you said thus....that makes it correct.
Sarah - posted on 04/28/2009
194
9
Quoting Wendy:
Quoting Sarah:
Quoting Wendy:
The nursing relationship should be oven when it is no longer mutually desired by both mother and child.
That said in many countries were full-term nursing/ child-led weaning is is the social (since it is the biological) norm children, typically wean between between 3 and 6 years of age. However one tribe (in Africa I believe) nurses their children until 15 years old.
Many people base the weaning age (in industrialized countries) parenting myths and a sexual obsession of the female breast. When my DD nurses (23 months) if feels NOTHING like when my husband touches them. Same is the same with kisses, when I kiss my husband it is not the same as when I give my DD a kiss, etc.
Additionally, research has proven that as long as the breastfeeding relationship is continuing both mother and child are getting many health (physical, emotional, social, and psychological) benefits.
My son doesn't like to wear clothing. Being naked is natural, it is how we are born. Living in the society that we do, I have to make him wear clothing. If it were up to him, he would always be naked. It is my responsibility as his mother, to teach him what is acceptable and what is not in our society. Other cultures and countries do things differently, but the mother in the video was from the U.K., which is an industrialized country. So, while my son DESIRES to do something that seems natural to him, he has to learn how to behave in our culture. I wouldn't go around justifying to everyone that my son is naked because it is natural and by the way, there are African and Melanesian cultures where the men walk around completely naked. It is just inane.
According to research it is biological NORMAL for a child to nurse well past two years of age. Additionally, while clothing is socially acceptable here most other cultures wear clothing too. The type and amount they wear is in accordance with the conditions they live in. The Eskimos wore/ wear seal hide because it keeps the body warm while allowing moisture to escape preventing them from freezing. Many cultures in desert regions wear full body clothing which protects them from the sun and whisks moisture away in order to keep them cool. Thus it is NORMAL for human to wear clothing to protect them from the elements. Nevertheless, this is getting off topic...
I don't feel that because of society has turned the breast into a sexual object and has filled parenting into a bunch of impractical myths, I should subject my child to that. I know that she is still undergoing rapid brain development..., therefore I choose to reject the social idea that child should stop nurse when they get teeth (she got her first ones at 4 months), to stop nursing when they can ask to nurse (she has been asking since the day she was born), etc.... Therefore I continue to nurse so my daughter can have the natural forms of DHA and ARA that are in my breast milk which support her brain development.
I also continue to nurse my child because breastfeeding is far more than just feeding her. Through nursing I meet her other needs. As a parent I choose to sort through the junk supported by society and choose what is best for my child. I strongly recommend the book, A Natural Age of Weaning"!
We choose to teach our children that the breast is for nurturing children!
It is only NORMAL in some cultures to wear clothing. You referenced a particular tribe in Africa that breastfeeds until 15 years old which you said was natural for them. It is also completely natural for some tribes to not wear clothing. Not everyone wears clothes to protect them from the elements. It has all different purposes. However, our society is not run by what is NORMAL and natural in other countries. It is what we have collectively decided what is acceptable. If people want to go against that, that is fine. But they have to realize that there will be criticism for it. I don't understand how you decide one can be normal and my example is not. Oh, I guess it is because you said thus....that makes it correct.
Sara - posted on 04/28/2009
6
10
i under stand what u r saying but if u wanted 2 give yr child breast milk wouldnt it be better to express it i wish i could have breast fed longer than 2 days but my son was having none of it he hardly ate in those 2 days so i was advised 2 go on 2 bottle
Barbara - posted on 04/28/2009
537
19
Quoting Brenda:
I have read many pros and cons on this site about bf to different ages. I think it is a certainty that for each mother/child it is a choice of personal preferences, and in some cases moral boundaries. For me it was a case of when I went back to work and the acceptance of alternatives by my child. One was more accepting than the other ogf these alternatives and so I adjusted the length of breastfeeding to suit their needs.
While I really believe it is a personal choice of when to stop I would like to point out one thing. It was mentioned that bf to advanced ages, no matter what age that is, was for closeness, nutritional value and it's innate ability to soothe both mother and child. In many western cultures these children and some adults have found new sources to accomplish this. Unfortunately the one source that overlaps is food. Many people now turn to high calorie food sources for comfort and bonding with other people over these same food sources in a most unhealthy way as compared to so called less developed or less westernized cultures that make up the majority of the world. This is not necessarily an impact of early/late weaning by any means, but we as humans tend to try to meet a need in the easiest and most convenient way we can.
I think this is one debate that will continue for as long as women continue to nurse children. We are a scientific culture, so for many until there is scientific proof of a negative/positive impact of prolonged bf it is a personal choice that will always draw comments, and from many criticism, of others and their methods, beliefs and decisions.
That is a very astute observation. It makes me wonder what else is being used in our western culture to replace that closeness.
It feels to me like we in this culture are obsessed with making sure our children are "independent" as soon as possible. I definitely have felt encouraged to force the issue with our son. My opinion is that when he is ready to let go, he will on his own without having to be forced. And then he will really be independent because he was physically and mentally ready to move on to the next step.
I read a book by the anthropologist Jean Liedloff that theorized this is why some people turn to things like drugs or other addictions in their later years, to try and fill the void left when they were denied some sort of babyish need a little too soon. It gets you thinking, doesn't it?
Amanda - posted on 04/28/2009
2,559
3
Quoting Jeani:
it ur baby has teeth they are to old for the breast but definately if they can walk up and ask for the breast!!!!!!!!
Some babies are born with teeth, others have 2-4 teeth by 2 months old, are those babies to old for breastfeeding? I had two children whom had at least 6 teeth by 7 months old, and another child who didnt get her first tooth until her first b day. There is a reason by baby teeth are actually named milk teeth, teeth is never an excuse to wean a child.
Barbara - posted on 04/28/2009
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Quoting Hannah:
Quoting Barbara:
Quoting Hannah:
Quoting Barbara:
Quoting Hannah:
Quoting Amanda-Lynn:
How is breastfeeding at 8 years old any different from an 8 year old drinking from a sippy cup, sucking their thumb, drinking from bottles?
Well...what they have in common is, that its totally inappropriate for their age. Those things are NOT learning to grow up, cope with life, be independant.
And the differenence is that its a tit. Again-not learning to soothe yourself and being coddled when you are old enough to see that life is about growing and maturing.Your whole attitude towards breasts would be frickin WIERD if you were raised suckeling them when it was no longer about getting food.
Its about a mother who wants to keep their child their baby. And a child that doesnt mind having boobie. Wouldnt it be nice to curl up against mom and be so completely safe and loved sometimes? BUT we gotta grow up, eh?
I hear and understand what you are saying, and as a member of the same type of society that you are a member of I can totally see why you would feel that way. I have to assume however that you haven't experienced child led weaning, or been around many older children who still nurse. If you had, perhaps you would have seen that it does not automatically result in an attitude towards breasts that is "frickin WIERD." Unless of course you consider not seeing breasts as sex toys but as functioning and useful body parts to be frickin wierd.
I actually think that the opposite lesson is usually taught, children grow up thinking of "boobs" as these funny things used in sex and in low brow jokes. Please correct me if I am misspeaking, but I sense that you may share that type of disdain for "tits" by your response. That is definitely not something I want to teach to my son.
My dear, assuming makes an ass out of you and me.
Excuse me. I have experienced these things and this is where I am getting my opinion from. Im not saying its sick to nurse 3 or 4 year olds (though for me its pushing it) Im saying breastfeeding an 8 year old is sick.
And, to the point about 3rd world countries and extended nursing-I already said; that Its sick when it stops being about food. If an 8 year old child is still nursing because there is nothing else to eat or because of some bizarre health thing; then thats TOTALLY different. Here, in America, Canada, where ever else you ladies on computers are....breastfeeding an 8 year old is so unnesessary.
I am not knocking extended breast feeding I am knocking the question at hand-need I remind you again-nursing an 8 year old.
And you did misspeak. Allow me to correct you. I have more than respect for my breasts and those around me. Breasts sustained my life as they did that of my daughter my sisters and all my other loved ones. Dont assume-(ass: u and me.)
I'm sorry if I misspoke, but I just didn't see how something can go from the best thing for a child to something that is sick. To me that speaks of a predilection towards viewing breasts as sex objects. I guess I was wrong.
Perhaps this is a good lesson. You didn't like me making assumptions about you and your reasons, perhaps you should stop making assumtions about woman and children who nurse past the point that you would personally feel comfortable. Don't assume- (ass: u and me.)
I saw the video and interview of that woman and her daughter....It was sick. Not because of the act, but the affect it was having on her children. Like another poster had said-the girls drew pctures of breasts constantly, talked to their moms breasts constantly touched them and had names for them. It was an obsession.Tell me this is appropriate and good for them. I win.
Go ahead and win in your opinion. Good work. I applaud your strong convictions and your dedication to your beliefs. However, despite the fact that you have seen a few minutes of tape involving that woman and her children, you do not know her, her children, or their situation. I have also seen the tape and have not come to the same conclusions that you have. It's not as cut and dry as you may think. What you saw on that video may not be what is right for you or your family, and it may be a situation that is highly unusual in this particular culture, but that doesn't make it wrong.
Carol - posted on 04/28/2009
2
2
I am currently breast feeding my sixth child and the first five were all weaned at various ages. I personally didn't want my kids to be old enough to remember nursing but I also didn't want a big battle where they were asking for it and I was saying "No". My approach was to offer a sippy cup after they turned one, and if they took it fine and if not I allowed them to nurse. They all just gradually gave it up without any tears or drama and long before they were old enough to remember doing it.
Brenda - posted on 04/28/2009
6
22
I have read many pros and cons on this site about bf to different ages. I think it is a certainty that for each mother/child it is a choice of personal preferences, and in some cases moral boundaries. For me it was a case of when I went back to work and the acceptance of alternatives by my child. One was more accepting than the other ogf these alternatives and so I adjusted the length of breastfeeding to suit their needs.
While I really believe it is a personal choice of when to stop I would like to point out one thing. It was mentioned that bf to advanced ages, no matter what age that is, was for closeness, nutritional value and it's innate ability to soothe both mother and child. In many western cultures these children and some adults have found new sources to accomplish this. Unfortunately the one source that overlaps is food. Many people now turn to high calorie food sources for comfort and bonding with other people over these same food sources in a most unhealthy way as compared to so called less developed or less westernized cultures that make up the majority of the world. This is not necessarily an impact of early/late weaning by any means, but we as humans tend to try to meet a need in the easiest and most convenient way we can.
I think this is one debate that will continue for as long as women continue to nurse children. We are a scientific culture, so for many until there is scientific proof of a negative/positive impact of prolonged bf it is a personal choice that will always draw comments, and from many criticism, of others and their methods, beliefs and decisions.
Wendy - posted on 04/28/2009
70
15
Quoting Hannah:
Quoting Wendy:
Quoting Sarah:
Quoting Wendy:
The nursing relationship should be oven when it is no longer mutually desired by both mother and child.
That said in many countries were full-term nursing/ child-led weaning is is the social (since it is the biological) norm children, typically wean between between 3 and 6 years of age. However one tribe (in Africa I believe) nurses their children until 15 years old.
Many people base the weaning age (in industrialized countries) parenting myths and a sexual obsession of the female breast. When my DD nurses (23 months) if feels NOTHING like when my husband touches them. Same is the same with kisses, when I kiss my husband it is not the same as when I give my DD a kiss, etc.
Additionally, research has proven that as long as the breastfeeding relationship is continuing both mother and child are getting many health (physical, emotional, social, and psychological) benefits.
My son doesn't like to wear clothing. Being naked is natural, it is how we are born. Living in the society that we do, I have to make him wear clothing. If it were up to him, he would always be naked. It is my responsibility as his mother, to teach him what is acceptable and what is not in our society. Other cultures and countries do things differently, but the mother in the video was from the U.K., which is an industrialized country. So, while my son DESIRES to do something that seems natural to him, he has to learn how to behave in our culture. I wouldn't go around justifying to everyone that my son is naked because it is natural and by the way, there are African and Melanesian cultures where the men walk around completely naked. It is just inane.
According to research it is biological NORMAL for a child to nurse well past two years of age. Additionally, while clothing is socially acceptable here most other cultures wear clothing too. The type and amount they wear is in accordance with the conditions they live in. The Eskimos wore/ wear seal hide because it keeps the body warm while allowing moisture to escape preventing them from freezing. Many cultures in desert regions wear full body clothing which protects them from the sun and whisks moisture away in order to keep them cool. Thus it is NORMAL for human to wear clothing to protect them from the elements. Nevertheless, this is getting off topic...
I don't feel that because of society has turned the breast into a sexual object and has filled parenting into a bunch of impractical myths, I should subject my child to that. I know that she is still undergoing rapid brain development..., therefore I choose to reject the social idea that child should stop nurse when they get teeth (she got her first ones at 4 months), to stop nursing when they can ask to nurse (she has been asking since the day she was born), etc.... Therefore I continue to nurse so my daughter can have the natural forms of DHA and ARA that are in my breast milk which support her brain development.
I also continue to nurse my child because breastfeeding is far more than just feeding her. Through nursing I meet her other needs. As a parent I choose to sort through the junk supported by society and choose what is best for my child. I strongly recommend the book, A Natural Age of Weaning"!
We choose to teach our children that the breast is for nurturing children!
I don't understand your point. We all agree breastfeeding is the best, and extended breastfeeding (while not for everyone) is fabulous as well. We are talking about an 8 year old breastfeeding. At that point it is no longer about nutrition or food.
The point is there is more to breastfeeding than nutrition and food. Every child has different needs and a different time frame to have other needs met by their mother. This is NOT a sexual thing it is a nurturing thing. This mother is just meeting her child's needs.
I've seen a follow up on the mother and child (not developed by the people who twisted the situation in the first program). She is a normal child, who has a strong bond with her mother. Of course she don't feel her nursing was wrong... it was normal in their house because that is what boobs are for!
More can be explained in the documents I referenced above...
Jennifer - posted on 04/28/2009
8
9
That's really gross!! I'm sorry, but once the kids can ask for it, I think it's time to quit. I breast fed both of my girls and quit around the time they started eating solid foods and getting teeth. I think every mom has to decide when the right time to quit is. But 8 years is just gross!!!!
Hannah - posted on 04/28/2009
475
2
Quoting Wendy:
Quoting Sarah:
Quoting Wendy:
The nursing relationship should be oven when it is no longer mutually desired by both mother and child.
That said in many countries were full-term nursing/ child-led weaning is is the social (since it is the biological) norm children, typically wean between between 3 and 6 years of age. However one tribe (in Africa I believe) nurses their children until 15 years old.
Many people base the weaning age (in industrialized countries) parenting myths and a sexual obsession of the female breast. When my DD nurses (23 months) if feels NOTHING like when my husband touches them. Same is the same with kisses, when I kiss my husband it is not the same as when I give my DD a kiss, etc.
Additionally, research has proven that as long as the breastfeeding relationship is continuing both mother and child are getting many health (physical, emotional, social, and psychological) benefits.
My son doesn't like to wear clothing. Being naked is natural, it is how we are born. Living in the society that we do, I have to make him wear clothing. If it were up to him, he would always be naked. It is my responsibility as his mother, to teach him what is acceptable and what is not in our society. Other cultures and countries do things differently, but the mother in the video was from the U.K., which is an industrialized country. So, while my son DESIRES to do something that seems natural to him, he has to learn how to behave in our culture. I wouldn't go around justifying to everyone that my son is naked because it is natural and by the way, there are African and Melanesian cultures where the men walk around completely naked. It is just inane.
According to research it is biological NORMAL for a child to nurse well past two years of age. Additionally, while clothing is socially acceptable here most other cultures wear clothing too. The type and amount they wear is in accordance with the conditions they live in. The Eskimos wore/ wear seal hide because it keeps the body warm while allowing moisture to escape preventing them from freezing. Many cultures in desert regions wear full body clothing which protects them from the sun and whisks moisture away in order to keep them cool. Thus it is NORMAL for human to wear clothing to protect them from the elements. Nevertheless, this is getting off topic...
I don't feel that because of society has turned the breast into a sexual object and has filled parenting into a bunch of impractical myths, I should subject my child to that. I know that she is still undergoing rapid brain development..., therefore I choose to reject the social idea that child should stop nurse when they get teeth (she got her first ones at 4 months), to stop nursing when they can ask to nurse (she has been asking since the day she was born), etc.... Therefore I continue to nurse so my daughter can have the natural forms of DHA and ARA that are in my breast milk which support her brain development.
I also continue to nurse my child because breastfeeding is far more than just feeding her. Through nursing I meet her other needs. As a parent I choose to sort through the junk supported by society and choose what is best for my child. I strongly recommend the book, A Natural Age of Weaning"!
We choose to teach our children that the breast is for nurturing children!
I dont understand your point. We all agree breastfeeding is the best, and extended breastfeeding (while not ofr everyone) is fabulous as well. We are talking about an 8 year old breastfeeding. At that point it is no longer about nutrition or food.
Wendy - posted on 04/28/2009
70
15
Quoting Hannah:
I saw the video and interview of that woman and her daughter....It was sick. Not because of the act, but the affect it was having on her children. Like another poster had said-the girls drew pictures of breasts constantly, talked to their moms breasts constantly touched them and had names for them. It was an obsession.Tell me this is appropriate and good for them. I win.
You have to keep in mind that the price was made for TV, the interviewers asked questions to get the answers they want and cut the finished product to have the "feel" they wanted.
Have you even been around kids that self-weaned? I have. They all nave very health views of themselves, their bodies, and interact in society very comfortably. They just view boobs as boobs, anatomical structures meant to nurture children, not the disgusting view which our society supports...
Jenifer - posted on 04/28/2009
1,322
7
I've now seen several people say that babies that walk/crawl/talk or have teeth should not be breastfed - not just that they wouldn't want to, but that its wrong, gross, and some even say abusive to do so. My son is 7 1/2 months old. He can't walk, but he does have teeth and can certainly communicate to me when he is hungry. Are there honestly people here who think that he is too old to be breastfed? Even though that is in opposition to the AAP and WHO?
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