Breastfeeding in public

Barbara - posted on 01/29/2009 ( 165 moms have responded )

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I take my baby pretty much everywhere and breastfeed wherever I am. No one has ever said anything to me, and I've never felt like anyone minded until I started reading some comments in another thread about how people don't like it. Has anyone else felt like they were unwelcome to breastfeed in a public place? And do some of you feel like breastfeeding in public is an impolite thing to do? Just curious.

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Barbara - posted on 02/03/2009

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Quoting Nichole:






Quoting Barbara:






To me, nudity in itself is not offensive.  I don't think that there's anything dirty about any part of the human body at all, be it a penis or an elbow.  Unwanted sexual advances are what is offensive, but simply being uncovered is not IMO.










So, let me get this straight:  If your male neighbor was mowing his lawn in the nude, or a female acquaintance was tending to her rose bushes in her yard near an elementary school, you wouldn't be offended?  You see, there are laws against  that. 






You want to get down to the real nitty-gritty about it?  You asked in an earlier post what "classy" means, well here you go:  The difference between a "classy" mom and one who is "offending" other is this:  The classy mom pulls up (or down) her shirt just enough to provide easy access to the nipple.  She may cover herself with a blanket or whatever or she may not.  Some mothers don't just cover themselves to "be polite" to others.  Sometimes it's to "be polite", if you will, to their baby - just one simple way to shut out some of the other distractions your baby could face when nursing in public.  A classy mom will just go about her business like it's no big deal.  But a classy mom might also cover herself up a little more if she notices that others around her are getting squirmy.  (Notice I said "might" there - covering up or going somewhere else are by no means required to be a classy mom - but it does give you extra bonus points)   An "offensive" mom will, upon hearing her baby's "hungry" cries, remove her shirt completely, remove her bra and sit there with one unused breast exposed to the public.  The offensive mom will then whine about all the people staring at her and lament to everyone "It's legal for me to do this.  You can't tell me to stop."  Hey lady - no one is asking you to stop breastfeeding.  They're simply asking you to put something over yourself and stop being so obvious.






The breastfeeding in public law needs to be clarified a little.  By all means women should be able to breastfeed in public.  But the amount of exposure needs to be defined.  If a mom violates that definition, then she can be charged with indecent exposure or public nudity.  The two people I described in my first paragraph would be charged with such a thing even if they were on their own property.  Breastfeeding in public, if taken to the "offensive" extreme, maybe should be considered a chargable offense.  Like I said though, the amount of exposure needs to be clearly defined first.  Maybe if the law could provide that kind of "happy medium", maybe then this insufferable debate can be over.





Maybe the "offensive" mom in your scenario is just reacting to the social limitations imposed on people who believe that there is something dirty about her.  Those types of things wouldn't happen (if indeed they are happening, it seems to be a little far fetched for me) if no one was saying to women "cover up and be decent" when they know in their hearts there is nothing indecent about them.  More laws will just make the indignation worse for those women and they will still be pushing the boundaries as long as people are treating them like they are not welcome.



And just for the record I personally would not be offended to see someone working in their yard in the nude.  If he were chasing me down the street hollering obscenities that would definitely offend me, but just being naked does not.  I know that there are laws against it, but that's just my opinion.

Jennifer - posted on 02/03/2009

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Quoting Mickenzie:

This is a great discussion! I have breastfed both of my children (4 and 2 years of age) until they turned 1. I am also currently breastfeeding my 3 month old. I plan on nursing her until 1 year of age also. If longer, great, if shorter, that's okay too. I have always done what was best for me and my children by reading their signs and signals. I have to admit I have been hesitant to nurse in public. I have done it a hand full of times and try to stay covered up. The looks from people make me very uncomfortable so I find myself making my baby and myself uncomfortable so others aren't. It just isn't right. I will not hesitate with this baby! I will not sit in a bathroom or waste my gas by sitting in the truck. I refuse this time. I am not worried about what others think anymore. On the other hand, my husband is very uncomfortable when I NIP. I have educated him on the laws, but he seems very uptight and unhappy when I do this. I think he is worried about strange men trying to get a peek. He keeps darting his eyes around the room when I NIP to try and catch someone looking. Any ideas? Also, when I have visitors at the home I nurse covered up and it is so uncomfortable for the baby, but I hate going to a room where I am alone with the babe and missing out on the company. (I stay at home so any adult interaction is GREAT) I love nursing and will never ive it up because of the few problems that come with it. But it is harder for me to nurse in front of people I know than strangers. Again, any ideas or insight?



Well as long as he still fits :) my son was a big boy so this didn't last long but in a sling or a front carry backpack worked for us (but it did take some practice to get the positioning figured out) and hardly anyone knew what was going on. If whether permitted I would wear a zip-up hoodie all the time and when he fed I would just put him in the front carry backpack latch him on and zip the sweatshirt up, not only did it help him feel more secure and warm but I guess it helped me be discreet as weel because half the time my husband didn't even know I was NIP.

Becky - posted on 02/03/2009

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Quoting Katie:

I've always had good experiences with NIP. The funniest one was me using a Maya Wrap in the middle of a department store in the baby section so everything was covered and the wrap blended with my shirt. The only way anyone knew what was going on was by the VERY LOUD smacking sounds my son was making, to the point that I was getting looks along with slight chuckles from moms across the department.

I'm sorry there are such bad experiences with it. Most states have laws protecting breastfeeding moms. Go to www.ncsl.org/programs/health/breast50.ht... to look up your state.


Thanks for posting the link to this website.  I never had any problems, but I was always curious about what the laws were!

Anna - posted on 02/03/2009

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ok, i wasn't sure who to "quote" i'm against anyone who is 'against ' public breastfeeding. but i do agree that there should be a level of modesty. i don't know who said it, but personally, i myself, as a breastfeeding mother would also be offended if someone just took off their entire shirt/bra to feed their child, who only needs one breast at a time anyway.

Jennifer - posted on 02/03/2009

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I think that most peoples problem with it is the discrettion (sp?) part. If, like one of the moms said, you cover up and don't have your breast exposed, it usually isn't a problem. I think what people have the biggest problem with is how some women just seem to not care about privacy. For example, I have a friend who would breast feed when we were out, not a problem, what I had a problem with was that she would whip her boob out and then get the baby ready to feed with no cover at all so who ever walked by could totally see her breast! I would say something to her and she would get upset. I think thats what most people are offended by, not so much the act of feeding but the discrettion of it, or lack there of.

Anna - posted on 02/03/2009

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Hello,

FYI, it is against the law if anyone says anything to you, or asks you to remove yourself and go somewhere else to breastfeed. It's harassment and you can get the police involved. who cares if people don't like it. you're feeding your child, you shouldn't be left to feel ashamed about that.



if it's just you wanting to have some modesty, visit this site:



http://shop.bebeaulait.com/



they have GREAT nursing covers. bebe au lait--formerly known as "hooter hiders". I have one and use it whenever i'm outside.



good luck!

Victoria - posted on 02/03/2009

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Quoting Nichole:






Quoting Barbara:






To me, nudity in itself is not offensive.  I don't think that there's anything dirty about any part of the human body at all, be it a penis or an elbow.  Unwanted sexual advances are what is offensive, but simply being uncovered is not IMO.










So, let me get this straight:  If your male neighbor was mowing his lawn in the nude, or a female acquaintance was tending to her rose bushes in her yard near an elementary school, you wouldn't be offended?  You see, there are laws against  that. 






You want to get down to the real nitty-gritty about it?  You asked in an earlier post what "classy" means, well here you go:  The difference between a "classy" mom and one who is "offending" other is this:  The classy mom pulls up (or down) her shirt just enough to provide easy access to the nipple.  She may cover herself with a blanket or whatever or she may not.  Some mothers don't just cover themselves to "be polite" to others.  Sometimes it's to "be polite", if you will, to their baby - just one simple way to shut out some of the other distractions your baby could face when nursing in public.  A classy mom will just go about her business like it's no big deal.  But a classy mom might also cover herself up a little more if she notices that others around her are getting squirmy.  (Notice I said "might" there - covering up or going somewhere else are by no means required to be a classy mom - but it does give you extra bonus points)   An "offensive" mom will, upon hearing her baby's "hungry" cries, remove her shirt completely, remove her bra and sit there with one unused breast exposed to the public.  The offensive mom will then whine about all the people staring at her and lament to everyone "It's legal for me to do this.  You can't tell me to stop."  Hey lady - no one is asking you to stop breastfeeding.  They're simply asking you to put something over yourself and stop being so obvious.






The breastfeeding in public law needs to be clarified a little.  By all means women should be able to breastfeed in public.  But the amount of exposure needs to be defined.  If a mom violates that definition, then she can be charged with indecent exposure or public nudity.  The two people I described in my first paragraph would be charged with such a thing even if they were on their own property.  Breastfeeding in public, if taken to the "offensive" extreme, maybe should be considered a chargable offense.  Like I said though, the amount of exposure needs to be clearly defined first.  Maybe if the law could provide that kind of "happy medium", maybe then this insufferable debate can be over.





I couldnt agree with you more! I havent seen or heard of a woman taking off her shirt and bra entirely, BUT I understand the point youre trying to get across. It's just like nobody is asking for the child to be uncomfortable, just asking for consideration of others TO be comfortable. Love the last paragraph, and hopefully one day we can get to that happy medium.

Danielle - posted on 02/03/2009

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I think it is a great privilage that we have to be able to feed our children wherever, and whenever as soon as they are hungry.   Howewver, I also feel that there should be some level of discreetness involved.  As a breastfeeding mother myself, I get uncomfortable when a mother is just whipping her boob out in public without covering with a light blanket.  If lack of eye contact is the issue, they make really cool blankets that strap onto your neck so that eye-contact is never broken with your baby.  Breastfeeding is a beautiflul thing between a Mother and child and not to be on display for a public audiance.



 

Abegail - posted on 02/03/2009

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Quoting Nichole:






Quoting Abegail:






Barbara I think you have really gone way off with your campain.  To me you're a bit too extreme.  Where as we were talking about breast feeding in public and that some maybe uncomfortable on seeing breasts in public (not offended just uncomfortable) you're talking about nudity and comparing a penis to an elbow!  You are expecting everyone to just be okay with it and I get the feeling you want someone to come up to you and give you a pat on the back and yell "good job for nursing publicly and not being ashamed by it" each time you nurse in public.  You seem to chastise everyone who says "just be descreet" because you think it's everyone's job to proclaim and to campain for nursing in public.  It sounds like that's not all you want to campain about.  It seems like you also wouldn't care if people just paraded naked for anything because "nutdity in itself is not offensive".  If I saw someone naked in front of me down the street and I had my daughter with me I would definitely be offended.  Whatever they do behind closed doors is their bussiness.  You need to understand that somethings will make people uncomfortable and whether you think it should or shouldn't, the way you react to it is how they will perceive you.  If you see some that are uncomfortable and you make an effort to be descreet they will most likely be a bit embarrassed as well and be okay about it.  There will always be jerks and rude people out there so don't even waste your time on them.  But if you're just trying to make a point and act think like "you know what you're uncomfortable let me just lower more of my shirt and feed my baby longer, and I'll smile at you too." then you're just as mean and close minded as those who look down on women nursing in public.










Well said.  Especially the last sentence.






Thanks Nichole.  Great name spelling by the way.

Becky - posted on 02/03/2009

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I know what thread you're talking about, and I even made a couple of comments on that conversation. I just think some people are really close-minded. I breastfed in public all the time, covered with a blanket. I never had any trouble. I don't see how it's impolite. Like I said on the other conversation: Would those women be offended if they were asked to take their bottle-fed baby to the bathroom and feed them because others didn't want to see it? Plus, Bill Maher is stupid. How can you compare breastfeeding to masturbating in public?! We're providing nourishment for our child, and he is just a creepy, perverted man.

Amber - posted on 02/03/2009

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I know how you feel.  I have heard people talk about how gross it is.  I do NOT think breastfeeding in public is bad!  It is a natural and loving thing!!  Most of us have been breastfed.  Keep doing it!  I want to feel more comfortable with it.



 

[deleted account]

I am a bottle feeder, but i do not have a problem with people feeding in public. I have several friends that do and i know they are sometimes made to feel uncomfortable, but no-one has commented to them. I can't believe that some have compared it to peeing or masturbating! I remember seeing a programme about breastfeeding and there was a mum breastfeeding as she was sending her shopping down the conveyer at the till in a supermarket. I am not sure about that, only because I wouldn't feed my baby like that. Surely feeding should be done in a nice, calm and quiet environment!?

I think because comparatively few women breastfeed nowadays it is sometimes a surprise to see someone feeding in public. The more common place it becomes the less of a shock it will be.

[deleted account]

The worst thing when I was breastfeeding my 2 girs was from other mothers. I was very descret about it. I wore a nursing tank top with a t-shirt over it. I would place the burp clothe over so I could get them positioned right. Then I would remove the cloth all you could see was a baby, no skin was showing at all. Moms mostly had a problem with me breastfeeding in public because then they have to answer all the HARD questions from their kids. I found everyone else would either turn and go the other way or stare. Either way I dont care.....I am not offended when someone gives their kid a bottle so they should not be offended when I breastfeed my kids.

Gerda - posted on 02/03/2009

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Hi Barbara



Not at all, if you are comfortable with it and know your stuff, why not. Unfortunately I couldn't get the hang of it. I just couldn't breast feed without everybody seeing everything. I admire the moms who just take their breast out and feed the baby without you even seeing some flesh. My friend can do it like that, but oh, not me, so for me it was a bit uncomfortable and I eventually just gave up.

Raya - posted on 02/03/2009

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seriously ,what should we do ? hide in our homes until the babies are off the breast?All doctors evrywhere agree that breast milk is the best for them. People who have a problem with it should look the other way.

Corinea - posted on 02/03/2009

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OMG I'm so tired of prudish people: IT'S JUST A BOOB.  I hate to break it to you but we're not some higher being we are mammals and mammals feed their offspring with their tits it's nature and some people may think we're "above" that or whatever but we're not.  Society tries to shape us into something we are not, it's just like the idea of marriage, humans were not meant to be a monogymous species that's why the divorce rate is so high.  We are an animal just like every other on this earth and I'm sick of society pushing us to ignore our instincts and seperate ourselves from nature.

Corinea - posted on 02/03/2009

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OMG I'm so tired of prudish people: IT'S JUST A BOOB.  I hate to break it to you but we're not some higher being we are mammals and mammals feed their offspring with their tits it's nature and some people may think we're "above" that or whatever but we're not.  Society tries to shape us into something we are not, it's just like the idea of marriage, humans were not meant to be a monogymous species that's why the divorce rate is so high.  We are an animal just like every other on this earth and I'm sick of society pushing us to ignore our instincts and seperate ourselves from nature.

[deleted account]

Really? Have you ever seen anyone remove their shirt AND bra and breastfeed in a store or church or park? Because that doesn't seem to me to be what people here are complaining about. I realize that some people think all women dress scandalously, and ought to go back to wearing long dresses and keeping their eyes down, but most of the women nursing in public are just asking for the same allowance that any woman in a Western society is getting. If they're only showing enough skin to feed their child, there isn't anything dirty or sexual about that. And even if they're showing quite a bit of skin, it still isn't provacative in the way that a miniskirt or a bikini is designed to be. In the end, the people that are so aghast have to realize that the child's comfort is going to take precedence over theirs and that's the way it should be. I know people who get freaked out (even "nauseated") by people with piercings, but we're not suggesting that the law mandate how many any one person is allowed.



I think the reason so many women are so frustrated by the injunction to "be discreet" is that it's a moving target. First people will say you have to show no skin at all, because even a glance at any breast skin is enough to drive a man to reprehensible acts (more the man's problem, really, if he has so little self-control), and then they'll say that you have to cover the baby's head, so that no one can even tell what you're doing, because just knowing that there is a bare breast under there will lead all bystanders to lascivious thoughts, and pretty soon we're right back where we started with women having to feed their children while sitting in a bathroom stall.

[deleted account]



Quoting Abegail:



Barbara I think you have really gone way off with your campain.  To me you're a bit too extreme.  Where as we were talking about breast feeding in public and that some maybe uncomfortable on seeing breasts in public (not offended just uncomfortable) you're talking about nudity and comparing a penis to an elbow!  You are expecting everyone to just be okay with it and I get the feeling you want someone to come up to you and give you a pat on the back and yell "good job for nursing publicly and not being ashamed by it" each time you nurse in public.  You seem to chastise everyone who says "just be descreet" because you think it's everyone's job to proclaim and to campain for nursing in public.  It sounds like that's not all you want to campain about.  It seems like you also wouldn't care if people just paraded naked for anything because "nutdity in itself is not offensive".  If I saw someone naked in front of me down the street and I had my daughter with me I would definitely be offended.  Whatever they do behind closed doors is their bussiness.  You need to understand that somethings will make people uncomfortable and whether you think it should or shouldn't, the way you react to it is how they will perceive you.  If you see some that are uncomfortable and you make an effort to be descreet they will most likely be a bit embarrassed as well and be okay about it.  There will always be jerks and rude people out there so don't even waste your time on them.  But if you're just trying to make a point and act think like "you know what you're uncomfortable let me just lower more of my shirt and feed my baby longer, and I'll smile at you too." then you're just as mean and close minded as those who look down on women nursing in public.






Well said.  Especially the last sentence.

[deleted account]



Quoting Barbara:



To me, nudity in itself is not offensive.  I don't think that there's anything dirty about any part of the human body at all, be it a penis or an elbow.  Unwanted sexual advances are what is offensive, but simply being uncovered is not IMO.






So, let me get this straight:  If your male neighbor was mowing his lawn in the nude, or a female acquaintance was tending to her rose bushes in her yard near an elementary school, you wouldn't be offended?  You see, there are laws against  that. 



You want to get down to the real nitty-gritty about it?  You asked in an earlier post what "classy" means, well here you go:  The difference between a "classy" mom and one who is "offending" other is this:  The classy mom pulls up (or down) her shirt just enough to provide easy access to the nipple.  She may cover herself with a blanket or whatever or she may not.  Some mothers don't just cover themselves to "be polite" to others.  Sometimes it's to "be polite", if you will, to their baby - just one simple way to shut out some of the other distractions your baby could face when nursing in public.  A classy mom will just go about her business like it's no big deal.  But a classy mom might also cover herself up a little more if she notices that others around her are getting squirmy.  (Notice I said "might" there - covering up or going somewhere else are by no means required to be a classy mom - but it does give you extra bonus points)   An "offensive" mom will, upon hearing her baby's "hungry" cries, remove her shirt completely, remove her bra and sit there with one unused breast exposed to the public.  The offensive mom will then whine about all the people staring at her and lament to everyone "It's legal for me to do this.  You can't tell me to stop."  Hey lady - no one is asking you to stop breastfeeding.  They're simply asking you to put something over yourself and stop being so obvious.



The breastfeeding in public law needs to be clarified a little.  By all means women should be able to breastfeed in public.  But the amount of exposure needs to be defined.  If a mom violates that definition, then she can be charged with indecent exposure or public nudity.  The two people I described in my first paragraph would be charged with such a thing even if they were on their own property.  Breastfeeding in public, if taken to the "offensive" extreme, maybe should be considered a chargable offense.  Like I said though, the amount of exposure needs to be clearly defined first.  Maybe if the law could provide that kind of "happy medium", maybe then this insufferable debate can be over.

Corinea - posted on 02/03/2009

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I could care less about what others thought, I did what worked for me and baby and if he needed fed I fed him wherever I was.  There were a couple of times people commented to me about it and I told them where they could stick it :) !

[deleted account]

I have a 7 month old that I'm breastfeeding. If I didn't NIP, I'd never get to leave the house!  When I started out feeding him, I would cover myself with a blanket (lots of pictures of me at a wedding with a blanket slung over my shoulder), but he got better at it and I got more comfortable. I've flown trans-atlantic with him three times already, so if I didn't feed him in public, I'd be completely scuppered.



Anyway, when I know I'll be out in public a lot (or on those flights) I made a point of wearing a nursing top or a nursing tank with a shirt over it, so you really had to be paying attention to know what I was doing. Past that, I'm not really going to worry about it. I fed him once in a restaurant bathroom and I swear, never again. I had someone come up to me in a coffee shop once and ask if I'd ever heard of "HooterHiders." You know, I have, I've seen them, and I just can't justify carrying around another swath of fabric just in case I need it to make people who oughtn't to be paying that much attention to me anyway a little more comfortable. That's really the only negative(?) reaction I've ever gotten. We'll see if I get more now that he's started humming to himself while he eats. It might make things slightly more obvious.

[deleted account]

I have no problems with women breastfeeding in public as long as they are discreet about it. Sometimes the problems with breastfeeding in public have little to do with the actual act of feeding a baby. For instance, (I'll use restaurants for my examples) if there is a very curious child sitting in a booth next to you, and they start asking tons of questions to their parents (and we all know how loud some children can be) then you might be creating an uncomfortable situation. The parents maybe don't want to answer some of the questions that come up - If a simple "The mommy is feeding her baby" would be sufficient, then that's ok. But I know my grand-niece and -nephew wouldn't just stop there with their questions. Plus if the children are using loud voices to ask questions, then other people will start to notice the breastfeeding mom and suddenly everyone's staring. (And I don't care how comfortable you are breastfeeding in public, no one likes to be stared at - especially by numerous people.) Or another situation (a sad, pathetic one at that) would be if some "curious" man were staring at you and he just happens to have a jealous wife/girlfriend. Then you might have a problem there. My best friend was breastfeeding her son at a restaurant once and there just happened to be a woman sitting nearby who went into a crying fit. Apparently, the baby she was breastfeeding had recently died of SIDS and the woman was still lactating. I'm not saying that women shouldn't breastfeed in public to avoid these or other scenarios, but I think they should be discreet because these and other scenarios. You just never know what kind of people you will be around or what their reactions will be. And that's true with anything you do in public, not just breastfeeding.

(I personally am jealous of woman who can do it in public. For the short time I breastfed my daughter, I could never manage to figure out how to do it without the whole world knowing. So I would lock myself in another room or I would pump.)

Karen - posted on 02/02/2009

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If you choose to be discreet while breastfeeding in public, please consider that if others had not been open and obvious about it, the negative reactions you’ve encountered may have been even more direct and confrontational and have left you with fewer choices. Don’t take for granted the acceptance that your province or state demands be provided to you when in public or the workplace. It’s the work of all those breastfeeders who came before you. Whether you choose to be discreet, classy or obvious, you have made a difference by demanding the RIGHT to choose.



I’m not yet a mother (3 more months to go!) but I’d like to thank everyone who contributed to this discussion for your support. I’m even more secure with my decision to breastfeed knowing the broad range of reactions I can expect and that you have persevered regardless of these challenges. So thank-you, especially you non-classy moms ;) !



P.S. Would you believe that while writing this, Microsoft Office Word has informed me that I’ve misspelled breastfeeder? Apparently there is a word for the act but not those who do it. Still a ways to go yet then...

Neener - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Barbara:



Quoting Abegail:




Quoting Barbara:





Quoting Victoria:






Quoting Abegail:







Quoting Victoria:








Quoting Abegail:









Barbara I think you have really gone way off with your campain.  To me you're a bit too extreme.  Where as we were talking about breast feeding in public and that some maybe uncomfortable on seeing breasts in public (not offended just uncomfortable) you're talking about nudity and comparing a penis to an elbow!  You are expecting everyone to just be okay with it and I get the feeling you want someone to come up to you and give you a pat on the back and yell "good job for nursing publicly and not being ashamed by it" each time you nurse in public.  You seem to chastise everyone who says "just be descreet" because you think it's everyone's job to proclaim and to campain for nursing in public.  It sounds like that's not all you want to campain about.  It seems like you also wouldn't care if people just paraded naked for anything because "nutdity in itself is not offensive".  If I saw someone naked in front of me down the street and I had my daughter with me I would definitely be offended.  Whatever they do behind closed doors is their bussiness.  You need to understand that somethings will make people uncomfortable and whether you think it should or shouldn't, the way you react to it is how they will perceive you.  If you see some that are uncomfortable and you make an effort to be descreet they will most likely be a bit embarrassed as well and be okay about it.  There will always be jerks and rude people out there so don't even waste your time on them.  But if you're just trying to make a point and act think like "you know what you're uncomfortable let me just lower more of my shirt and feed my baby longer, and I'll smile at you too." then you're just as mean and close minded as those who look down on women nursing in public.
























Agreed! : ) 






















LOL.  Thanks Victoria.  I hope I didn't sound to upsetting.


















Nope, you took the words right out of my mouth. I would be super offended if I had my son with me and we were out and about and we saw some nude person just walking around like there's nothing wrong with it. We dont live in a nudist colony and this isnt the 80's. : )















All I'm saying is that there's nothing wrong with the human body.  I know that including penises and elbows into the discussion is a little off topic. 










And as far as my "campaign" goes, you all can go ahead and be as covered up as you like, just don't try to put the fact that you are personally uncomfortable with the human body on others who are comfortable with it.










An example I'd like to cite here is that I am vegetarian.  Most people eat meat.  I am grossed out by the idea of eating meat personally, but I don't have the right to tell others that I encounter in public not to eat meat in front of me.  I find the idea of eating flesh pretty repulsive, but do you think people should have to build a shield of menus around their plate of steak so I don't have to see it, because it might offend me?  Should they eat with a blanked draped over their heads?  No, because my rights end where another person's begin.












Oh my goodness Barbara.  This will be my last comment on this topic.  I do love the debate but I think we're getting angry and in that case it's no longer a healthy discussion.  Your example, sorry to say is not valid.  I don't eat pork or shrimp, etc, I follow the Biblical diet.  It also kind of puts me at an unease me when I see people eat this (especially when it's my husband) because it's not healthy for them (I believe).  No I don't expect them to cover up because it's not the same.  Do you understand that some people eat snakes and some people are veagan and that maybe a bit different but it's not the same as bearing a private part?  I think that is where the start of our disagreement is: you don't think any part of the body is a private part where as I do.  We can't even begin to discuss this issue since our differences of opinion is even greater than the actual breastfeeding in public issue is.  








As far as you saying I am not comfortable with the human body, that is really not the issue.  Whether it is a mother breastfeeding with her whole breast hanging out, a woman wearing a tight almost sheer tank top with just barely an inch above her nipple or a woman wearing a "nipple" bikini it is not proper.  And I don't believe this is a matter of opinion.  Don't be upset when someone says you're not proper when you are not.  Do you have to be okay with seeing that in public to be "comfortable with the human body"?  I mean come on.  What are we really talking about here? 









I'm sorry if it seemed to you that I was getting angry.  I assure you I am not, I'm just trying to accurately portray to you my point of view.  I think my example was valid in that it described a situation in which one person was feeling uncomfortable about another person's choices.  And I feel that if I was not being able to look at body parts without feeling uncomfortable it would be a sign that I was uncomfortable with the body.  I however am not in that situation so I apologize if you feel that my perception is off.  Thanks for participating in this conversation.  A discussion needs differing perspectives in order to be worthy of discussing, so I am glad you bothered to post.  Thanks again, and good luck in the future.





I'm sorry, this is off topic, but I just HAD to respond to Abegail's comment about "the biblical diet".



Please read Acts 11, Romans 14, 1 Cor. 10:30 and Matt. 15:10-20.



The food rules you adhere to were for JEWS only, who lived BEFORE Christ died and rose again. They no longer apply, and you are free to eat whatever you wish. Christ Himself made this VERY clear. I believe you want to do what God would truly have you do, and I will leave that between you and Him. This deserves serious study.  I'm sure you do not want to cheapen Christ's work with silly man made rules.



I wish you well.

Devonie - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Christina:



... I went to the shoe section in Meijer,...






Too funny - I've done this exactly! 



I'm also a big fan of dressing rooms.

Devonie - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Anne:



I never had any issues with breastfeeding in public, although I did generally use some kind of blanket over my shoulder & over the baby's head so my breast was not exposed to the public. 






This exactly.  I have a nursing cover (I think made by bebe au lait)  that I use every time in public since I purchased it.  Before that, I was always covered with something.

Neener - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Sarai:

I personally didn't breastfeed because didn't feel so comfortable with the thought of my baby sucking on my breast constantly and i was a full-time student so i didn't want to attach her to my breast. I have seen ladies at church breastfeed and just feel that u need to have some respect especially at church and if u have to then step outside or just cover. Yes it's natural and a baby needs to eat but there are lots of natural things people do and doesn't mean we must do it out in the open. I don't care if someone breastfeeds in the open just PLEASE cover youself a lil at least.


Good Lord, yeah! If you're breastfeeding at church, you have an obilgation to your Christian brothers to either go in the mama-room(every church should have one!) to nurse, or to cover WAY up. Sheesh.

Neener - posted on 02/02/2009

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I've breastfed 4 children now, over a 17 year time span. Opinions (and so, my experiences) have varied widely over the years. There are ppl.who think its a terrible thing to do in public, but I've never had any stranger actually say anything to me about it (no doubt some wanted to - they just didn't).
Here's some input though. - I have always been discreet about it. I would use a tank top under my shirt so I could have the tank covering my lower torso (with the straps on loosest setting so I could pull the breast out of the top of the tank), while the top shirt covered my breast on top, and you couldn't see anything. I didn't see any reason to flaunt anything when I didn't have to, and really - you don't HAVE to. Also, depending on who was around me, sometimes I would use a blanket for extra coverage. I always felt it was more honorable not to have some poor wife wondering if her husband (or mom wondering if her teenage son) was sneaking looks, ya know? Men are visual. They can't help it. I never felt it was any infringement on my freedom to be discreet.

Kyla - posted on 02/02/2009

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I take my son everywhere and feed him whenever he is hungry. I do have a cover because I have rather Large breasts (H) and they really hang out when I feed. I find that having a cover in public works for me but around friends or anything like that I don't use a cover. People have the right to feed their children however they choose. If someone where to say something to be about breastfeeding in public I will be telling them that it is my right to breastfeed my child and if they don't like it then they can leave.

Sarai - posted on 02/02/2009

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I personally didn't breastfeed because didn't feel so comfortable with the thought of my baby sucking on my breast constantly and i was a full-time student so i didn't want to attach her to my breast. I have seen ladies at church breastfeed and just feel that u need to have some respect especially at church and if u have to then step outside or just cover. Yes it's natural and a baby needs to eat but there are lots of natural things people do and doesn't mean we must do it out in the open. I don't care if someone breastfeeds in the open just PLEASE cover youself a lil at least.

Heidi - posted on 02/02/2009

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I breastfed my two boys until they were a year (now almost 4 and 2).  I have a daughter who is 13 wks and will do the same for her.  I breastfeed in public...even church.  Genreally I do not get looks or comments...every great once in a while I will get a look.  Depending on my mood...LOL...I will either give a look back or just ignore.  I know where I live a person can get a ticket (fine) if they make a comment to a person to move to a private area etc if that person is reported.  Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world.  If people out in the public have a problem with it, it is just that...their problem.  I know I'm doing something good for my child. 

Jillian - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Amanda:

I also carried "thank you for helping to normalize breastfeeding by nursing in public" cards with me to encourage the moms who put the well-being of their flesh & born child over the comfort of a complete stranger who they will probably not see again.


Amanda - that's WONDERFUL!!!  I wonder how many moms, feeling a little uncomfortable with NIP, were encouraged and supported by your efforts!!  I usually make an effort to say a kind word to a mom who's NIP, but I think I may make up some of those cards myself just so I can encourage those mammas a little more!



Kudo's to you!!

Barbara - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Maureen:

No I do not believe woman should be flipping their boobs out in public to feed.
There needs to some discretion as to how and where its' done. I was once at a very large craft show with friends, and the spot for the lunch vendors included limited seating. Mostly you would have to wait around and join any table that was available. A great way to meet new people. . A woman and her two friends asked to use the other seats. But, they weren't going to eat, the one woman just wanted to pop the boob to feed the baby. A little inconsiderate to the vendors and everyone trying to find a place to put their food tray. There were lots of benches throughout the building or very large facilities including ' family ' rooms available. I also do not appreciate the self righteous attitude some young mothers get about the whole issue. If you can not or do not have a latched child you're made to feel like your not a real mother. Oh, yes and I did breastfeed but never in public.
But, its' always something. I have one wonderful son and am very blessed. But, when I say I have one child, I get the ' oh, only one ? ' Oops forgot to read the instructions about motherhood. Now I just say I have two and if they press I say one boy and a labrador. ( that's my cuties' pic ).


Judging by the description you gave, it sounds like the real problem that you had with the nursing mother was that she and her friends were taking up space in a crowded lunchroom but weren't eating anything themselves.  I can understand why that would be a problem when people are looking for somewhere to eat, but what does nursing have to do with it?



 

[deleted account]

I have three girls (18 yr, 16 yr and 3 mo) and I have breastfed them all. I will breastfeed my latest child for as long as I can. I will nurse wherever I am, if it's convenient. There have been many occasions that I am walking around the grocery store nursing my daughter while my man pushes the stroller or grocery cart. If she's hungry or fussing, this will quiet and calm her down. Of course, the heavier she gets, the more difficult this becomes. Skill!

I *do* use a blanket to cover myself up (call it self-modesty or discretion-for-others, I don't care, it's both for me).

Many places have nursing rooms or what-have-you and I will use them if it's convenient also. There are, on the contrary, many places who have nothing. Most grocery stores, for example, have nothing and their bathrooms are usually quite disgusting, so I will just walk around with her. The blanket can make things uncomfortable at times (overheating) and I may take it off.

I've never had any negative comments or looks and most people just smile (especially new moms or elderly ladies) if they realize what it is that you're doing at all.

If someone actually had the nerve to ask me to go somewhere else, or stop, I would probably have to pull out the ear muffs for my baby and give them an earful.

Great debate.
Congratulations to all the Mommies and Daddies out there and Happy Nursing.

Lisa in Kitchener, Ontario

Tanya - posted on 02/02/2009

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I had breastfed my daughter for the first 8 months. I always used a nursing panel for privacy (there are some pretty neat ones with vents and "pull down" prevention). I'm a very casual person but for the comfort of other people, I would cover up respectfully. Like Jandy, I received positive comments and encouragement from other people.

Danna - posted on 02/02/2009

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..seems like this woman was more upset of not being able to eat HER lunch "COMFORTABLY" rather than a baby eating his lunch comfortable...

let's face it, some people just don't give up their seat for the elders..(sarcastically speaking) : )

Maureen - posted on 02/02/2009

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No I do not believe woman should be flipping their boobs out in public to feed.

There needs to some discretion as to how and where its' done. I was once at a very large craft show with friends, and the spot for the lunch vendors included limited seating. Mostly you would have to wait around and join any table that was available. A great way to meet new people. . A woman and her two friends asked to use the other seats. But, they weren't going to eat, the one woman just wanted to pop the boob to feed the baby. A little inconsiderate to the vendors and everyone trying to find a place to put their food tray. There were lots of benches throughout the building or very large facilities including ' family ' rooms available. I also do not appreciate the self righteous attitude some young mothers get about the whole issue. If you can not or do not have a latched child you're made to feel like your not a real mother. Oh, yes and I did breastfeed but never in public.

But, its' always something. I have one wonderful son and am very blessed. But, when I say I have one child, I get the ' oh, only one ? ' Oops forgot to read the instructions about motherhood. Now I just say I have two and if they press I say one boy and a labrador. ( that's my cuties' pic ).

Kacy - posted on 02/02/2009

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I can't agree with you more Barbara Wentzel-Fisher. I feed my son anywhere and everywhere! I tend not to cover him up either. I also have a sweaty little guy. He gets hot very easily, and I would rather him be comfortable, otherwise he won't eat a full meal! Every state in our country (USA) has a law to protect nursing mothers. You CANNOT be accused of indecent exposure! So, if I feel that someone has a problem with my caring for my son...they are asked to look the other way. If they still seem disturbed...I tend to go on a little rant, they get an ear full, and most likely will never say anything to a nursing mother again. I wouldn't worry about what you are reading on  other threads... You're doing great!

Jandy - posted on 02/02/2009

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The first poor experience that I had was actually caused by my mother. I was at a family gathering and sat down to nurse my daughter. She got a blanket and threw it over us. She said it was so none of the male members of my family would become uncomfortable. I found that rather irritating, and offensive. Other than that, I've actually been commended by people while I'm feeding in public. I've received many positive comments. It's been nice.

Barbara - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Abegail:



Quoting Barbara:




Quoting Victoria:





Quoting Abegail:






Quoting Victoria:







Quoting Abegail:








Barbara I think you have really gone way off with your campain.  To me you're a bit too extreme.  Where as we were talking about breast feeding in public and that some maybe uncomfortable on seeing breasts in public (not offended just uncomfortable) you're talking about nudity and comparing a penis to an elbow!  You are expecting everyone to just be okay with it and I get the feeling you want someone to come up to you and give you a pat on the back and yell "good job for nursing publicly and not being ashamed by it" each time you nurse in public.  You seem to chastise everyone who says "just be descreet" because you think it's everyone's job to proclaim and to campain for nursing in public.  It sounds like that's not all you want to campain about.  It seems like you also wouldn't care if people just paraded naked for anything because "nutdity in itself is not offensive".  If I saw someone naked in front of me down the street and I had my daughter with me I would definitely be offended.  Whatever they do behind closed doors is their bussiness.  You need to understand that somethings will make people uncomfortable and whether you think it should or shouldn't, the way you react to it is how they will perceive you.  If you see some that are uncomfortable and you make an effort to be descreet they will most likely be a bit embarrassed as well and be okay about it.  There will always be jerks and rude people out there so don't even waste your time on them.  But if you're just trying to make a point and act think like "you know what you're uncomfortable let me just lower more of my shirt and feed my baby longer, and I'll smile at you too." then you're just as mean and close minded as those who look down on women nursing in public.





















Agreed! : ) 



















LOL.  Thanks Victoria.  I hope I didn't sound to upsetting.















Nope, you took the words right out of my mouth. I would be super offended if I had my son with me and we were out and about and we saw some nude person just walking around like there's nothing wrong with it. We dont live in a nudist colony and this isnt the 80's. : )












All I'm saying is that there's nothing wrong with the human body.  I know that including penises and elbows into the discussion is a little off topic. 








And as far as my "campaign" goes, you all can go ahead and be as covered up as you like, just don't try to put the fact that you are personally uncomfortable with the human body on others who are comfortable with it.








An example I'd like to cite here is that I am vegetarian.  Most people eat meat.  I am grossed out by the idea of eating meat personally, but I don't have the right to tell others that I encounter in public not to eat meat in front of me.  I find the idea of eating flesh pretty repulsive, but do you think people should have to build a shield of menus around their plate of steak so I don't have to see it, because it might offend me?  Should they eat with a blanked draped over their heads?  No, because my rights end where another person's begin.









Oh my goodness Barbara.  This will be my last comment on this topic.  I do love the debate but I think we're getting angry and in that case it's no longer a healthy discussion.  Your example, sorry to say is not valid.  I don't eat pork or shrimp, etc, I follow the Biblical diet.  It also kind of puts me at an unease me when I see people eat this (especially when it's my husband) because it's not healthy for them (I believe).  No I don't expect them to cover up because it's not the same.  Do you understand that some people eat snakes and some people are veagan and that maybe a bit different but it's not the same as bearing a private part?  I think that is where the start of our disagreement is: you don't think any part of the body is a private part where as I do.  We can't even begin to discuss this issue since our differences of opinion is even greater than the actual breastfeeding in public issue is.  






As far as you saying I am not comfortable with the human body, that is really not the issue.  Whether it is a mother breastfeeding with her whole breast hanging out, a woman wearing a tight almost sheer tank top with just barely an inch above her nipple or a woman wearing a "nipple" bikini it is not proper.  And I don't believe this is a matter of opinion.  Don't be upset when someone says you're not proper when you are not.  Do you have to be okay with seeing that in public to be "comfortable with the human body"?  I mean come on.  What are we really talking about here? 





I'm sorry if it seemed to you that I was getting angry.  I assure you I am not, I'm just trying to accurately portray to you my point of view.  I think my example was valid in that it described a situation in which one person was feeling uncomfortable about another person's choices.  And I feel that if I was not being able to look at body parts without feeling uncomfortable it would be a sign that I was uncomfortable with the body.  I however am not in that situation so I apologize if you feel that my perception is off.  Thanks for participating in this conversation.  A discussion needs differing perspectives in order to be worthy of discussing, so I am glad you bothered to post.  Thanks again, and good luck in the future.

Abegail - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Barbara:



Quoting Victoria:




Quoting Abegail:





Quoting Victoria:






Quoting Abegail:







Barbara I think you have really gone way off with your campain.  To me you're a bit too extreme.  Where as we were talking about breast feeding in public and that some maybe uncomfortable on seeing breasts in public (not offended just uncomfortable) you're talking about nudity and comparing a penis to an elbow!  You are expecting everyone to just be okay with it and I get the feeling you want someone to come up to you and give you a pat on the back and yell "good job for nursing publicly and not being ashamed by it" each time you nurse in public.  You seem to chastise everyone who says "just be descreet" because you think it's everyone's job to proclaim and to campain for nursing in public.  It sounds like that's not all you want to campain about.  It seems like you also wouldn't care if people just paraded naked for anything because "nutdity in itself is not offensive".  If I saw someone naked in front of me down the street and I had my daughter with me I would definitely be offended.  Whatever they do behind closed doors is their bussiness.  You need to understand that somethings will make people uncomfortable and whether you think it should or shouldn't, the way you react to it is how they will perceive you.  If you see some that are uncomfortable and you make an effort to be descreet they will most likely be a bit embarrassed as well and be okay about it.  There will always be jerks and rude people out there so don't even waste your time on them.  But if you're just trying to make a point and act think like "you know what you're uncomfortable let me just lower more of my shirt and feed my baby longer, and I'll smile at you too." then you're just as mean and close minded as those who look down on women nursing in public.


















Agreed! : ) 
















LOL.  Thanks Victoria.  I hope I didn't sound to upsetting.












Nope, you took the words right out of my mouth. I would be super offended if I had my son with me and we were out and about and we saw some nude person just walking around like there's nothing wrong with it. We dont live in a nudist colony and this isnt the 80's. : )









All I'm saying is that there's nothing wrong with the human body.  I know that including penises and elbows into the discussion is a little off topic. 






And as far as my "campaign" goes, you all can go ahead and be as covered up as you like, just don't try to put the fact that you are personally uncomfortable with the human body on others who are comfortable with it.






An example I'd like to cite here is that I am vegetarian.  Most people eat meat.  I am grossed out by the idea of eating meat personally, but I don't have the right to tell others that I encounter in public not to eat meat in front of me.  I find the idea of eating flesh pretty repulsive, but do you think people should have to build a shield of menus around their plate of steak so I don't have to see it, because it might offend me?  Should they eat with a blanked draped over their heads?  No, because my rights end where another person's begin.





Oh my goodness Barbara.  This will be my last comment on this topic.  I do love the debate but I think we're getting angry and in that case it's no longer a healthy discussion.  Your example, sorry to say is not valid.  I don't eat pork or shrimp, etc, I follow the Biblical diet.  It also kind of puts me at an unease me when I see people eat this (especially when it's my husband) because it's not healthy for them (I believe).  No I don't expect them to cover up because it's not the same.  Do you understand that some people eat snakes and some people are veagan and that maybe a bit different but it's not the same as bearing a private part?  I think that is where the start of our disagreement is: you don't think any part of the body is a private part where as I do.  We can't even begin to discuss this issue since our differences of opinion is even greater than the actual breastfeeding in public issue is.  



As far as you saying I am not comfortable with the human body, that is really not the issue.  Whether it is a mother breastfeeding with her whole breast hanging out, a woman wearing a tight almost sheer tank top with just barely an inch above her nipple or a woman wearing a "nipple" bikini it is not proper.  And I don't believe this is a matter of opinion.  Don't be upset when someone says you're not proper when you are not.  Do you have to be okay with seeing that in public to be "comfortable with the human body"?  I mean come on.  What are we really talking about here? 

Barbara - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Victoria:



Quoting Abegail:




Quoting Victoria:





Quoting Abegail:






Barbara I think you have really gone way off with your campain.  To me you're a bit too extreme.  Where as we were talking about breast feeding in public and that some maybe uncomfortable on seeing breasts in public (not offended just uncomfortable) you're talking about nudity and comparing a penis to an elbow!  You are expecting everyone to just be okay with it and I get the feeling you want someone to come up to you and give you a pat on the back and yell "good job for nursing publicly and not being ashamed by it" each time you nurse in public.  You seem to chastise everyone who says "just be descreet" because you think it's everyone's job to proclaim and to campain for nursing in public.  It sounds like that's not all you want to campain about.  It seems like you also wouldn't care if people just paraded naked for anything because "nutdity in itself is not offensive".  If I saw someone naked in front of me down the street and I had my daughter with me I would definitely be offended.  Whatever they do behind closed doors is their bussiness.  You need to understand that somethings will make people uncomfortable and whether you think it should or shouldn't, the way you react to it is how they will perceive you.  If you see some that are uncomfortable and you make an effort to be descreet they will most likely be a bit embarrassed as well and be okay about it.  There will always be jerks and rude people out there so don't even waste your time on them.  But if you're just trying to make a point and act think like "you know what you're uncomfortable let me just lower more of my shirt and feed my baby longer, and I'll smile at you too." then you're just as mean and close minded as those who look down on women nursing in public.















Agreed! : ) 













LOL.  Thanks Victoria.  I hope I didn't sound to upsetting.









Nope, you took the words right out of my mouth. I would be super offended if I had my son with me and we were out and about and we saw some nude person just walking around like there's nothing wrong with it. We dont live in a nudist colony and this isnt the 80's. : )





All I'm saying is that there's nothing wrong with the human body.  I know that including penises and elbows into the discussion is a little off topic. 



And as far as my "campaign" goes, you all can go ahead and be as covered up as you like, just don't try to put the fact that you are personally uncomfortable with the human body on others who are comfortable with it.



An example I'd like to cite here is that I am vegetarian.  Most people eat meat.  I am grossed out by the idea of eating meat personally, but I don't have the right to tell others that I encounter in public not to eat meat in front of me.  I find the idea of eating flesh pretty repulsive, but do you think people should have to build a shield of menus around their plate of steak so I don't have to see it, because it might offend me?  Should they eat with a blanked draped over their heads?  No, because my rights end where another person's begin.

[deleted account]

i used to get strange looks in public when i breastfed but i ignored them in my opinion if youve got a problem with me bfing under a frigging blanket to protect my modesty then put a blanket over your head and you wont have to see it.  Now that hes older i dont bf in public as much but i do bf if hes having a really hard time because it guarantees him to calm down.  I actually have more mothers approaching me now saying that they are glad they werent the only extended breastfeeders.  I see no reason to be ashamed of doing what breasts were meant for.  They are made with milk ducts we didnt put them in there like some people do with implants. 

Victoria - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Abegail:



Quoting Victoria:




Quoting Abegail:





Barbara I think you have really gone way off with your campain.  To me you're a bit too extreme.  Where as we were talking about breast feeding in public and that some maybe uncomfortable on seeing breasts in public (not offended just uncomfortable) you're talking about nudity and comparing a penis to an elbow!  You are expecting everyone to just be okay with it and I get the feeling you want someone to come up to you and give you a pat on the back and yell "good job for nursing publicly and not being ashamed by it" each time you nurse in public.  You seem to chastise everyone who says "just be descreet" because you think it's everyone's job to proclaim and to campain for nursing in public.  It sounds like that's not all you want to campain about.  It seems like you also wouldn't care if people just paraded naked for anything because "nutdity in itself is not offensive".  If I saw someone naked in front of me down the street and I had my daughter with me I would definitely be offended.  Whatever they do behind closed doors is their bussiness.  You need to understand that somethings will make people uncomfortable and whether you think it should or shouldn't, the way you react to it is how they will perceive you.  If you see some that are uncomfortable and you make an effort to be descreet they will most likely be a bit embarrassed as well and be okay about it.  There will always be jerks and rude people out there so don't even waste your time on them.  But if you're just trying to make a point and act think like "you know what you're uncomfortable let me just lower more of my shirt and feed my baby longer, and I'll smile at you too." then you're just as mean and close minded as those who look down on women nursing in public.












Agreed! : ) 










LOL.  Thanks Victoria.  I hope I didn't sound to upsetting.





Nope, you took the words right out of my mouth. I would be super offended if I had my son with me and we were out and about and we saw some nude person just walking around like there's nothing wrong with it. We dont live in a nudist colony and this isnt the 80's. : )

Abegail - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Victoria:



Quoting Abegail:




Barbara I think you have really gone way off with your campain.  To me you're a bit too extreme.  Where as we were talking about breast feeding in public and that some maybe uncomfortable on seeing breasts in public (not offended just uncomfortable) you're talking about nudity and comparing a penis to an elbow!  You are expecting everyone to just be okay with it and I get the feeling you want someone to come up to you and give you a pat on the back and yell "good job for nursing publicly and not being ashamed by it" each time you nurse in public.  You seem to chastise everyone who says "just be descreet" because you think it's everyone's job to proclaim and to campain for nursing in public.  It sounds like that's not all you want to campain about.  It seems like you also wouldn't care if people just paraded naked for anything because "nutdity in itself is not offensive".  If I saw someone naked in front of me down the street and I had my daughter with me I would definitely be offended.  Whatever they do behind closed doors is their bussiness.  You need to understand that somethings will make people uncomfortable and whether you think it should or shouldn't, the way you react to it is how they will perceive you.  If you see some that are uncomfortable and you make an effort to be descreet they will most likely be a bit embarrassed as well and be okay about it.  There will always be jerks and rude people out there so don't even waste your time on them.  But if you're just trying to make a point and act think like "you know what you're uncomfortable let me just lower more of my shirt and feed my baby longer, and I'll smile at you too." then you're just as mean and close minded as those who look down on women nursing in public.









Agreed! : ) 






LOL.  Thanks Victoria.  I hope I didn't sound to upsetting.

Victoria - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Abegail:



Barbara I think you have really gone way off with your campain.  To me you're a bit too extreme.  Where as we were talking about breast feeding in public and that some maybe uncomfortable on seeing breasts in public (not offended just uncomfortable) you're talking about nudity and comparing a penis to an elbow!  You are expecting everyone to just be okay with it and I get the feeling you want someone to come up to you and give you a pat on the back and yell "good job for nursing publicly and not being ashamed by it" each time you nurse in public.  You seem to chastise everyone who says "just be descreet" because you think it's everyone's job to proclaim and to campain for nursing in public.  It sounds like that's not all you want to campain about.  It seems like you also wouldn't care if people just paraded naked for anything because "nutdity in itself is not offensive".  If I saw someone naked in front of me down the street and I had my daughter with me I would definitely be offended.  Whatever they do behind closed doors is their bussiness.  You need to understand that somethings will make people uncomfortable and whether you think it should or shouldn't, the way you react to it is how they will perceive you.  If you see some that are uncomfortable and you make an effort to be descreet they will most likely be a bit embarrassed as well and be okay about it.  There will always be jerks and rude people out there so don't even waste your time on them.  But if you're just trying to make a point and act think like "you know what you're uncomfortable let me just lower more of my shirt and feed my baby longer, and I'll smile at you too." then you're just as mean and close minded as those who look down on women nursing in public.





Agreed! : ) 

Tammy - posted on 02/02/2009

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I have nursed all 4 of my children in public.  I used to throw a blanket over but it did get hot and now I'm a lot better at it :) I've had people walk up to me and start talking then realize what I was doing and apoligize for intruding.  I say its no intrusion and continue on talking.  They are worried I'm going to be embarrassed.  I've also had people say good job for BF my baby.  I've never had anyone say anything and I've never noticed looks but I'm very focused on what I'm doing so everything is where it should be.  I live in Ontario Canada so there might be less of a stigma I don't know.

Abegail - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Barbara:



Quoting Kendra:




As A mom, I don't mind BF in public, as long as I have something over my breast, I know I wouldn't want to see someone elses breast, this is why we wear shirts. It be like a man being able to show his Penis because he was trying to concive and didn't want anything around his balls.








Just My Opion.









To me, nudity in itself is not offensive.  I don't think that there's anything dirty about any part of the human body at all, be it a penis or an elbow.  Unwanted sexual advances are what is offensive, but simply being uncovered is not IMO.





Barbara I think you have really gone way off with your campain.  To me you're a bit too extreme.  Where as we were talking about breast feeding in public and that some maybe uncomfortable on seeing breasts in public (not offended just uncomfortable) you're talking about nudity and comparing a penis to an elbow!  You are expecting everyone to just be okay with it and I get the feeling you want someone to come up to you and give you a pat on the back and yell "good job for nursing publicly and not being ashamed by it" each time you nurse in public.  You seem to chastise everyone who says "just be descreet" because you think it's everyone's job to proclaim and to campain for nursing in public.  It sounds like that's not all you want to campain about.  It seems like you also wouldn't care if people just paraded naked for anything because "nutdity in itself is not offensive".  If I saw someone naked in front of me down the street and I had my daughter with me I would definitely be offended.  Whatever they do behind closed doors is their bussiness.  You need to understand that somethings will make people uncomfortable and whether you think it should or shouldn't, the way you react to it is how they will perceive you.  If you see some that are uncomfortable and you make an effort to be descreet they will most likely be a bit embarrassed as well and be okay about it.  There will always be jerks and rude people out there so don't even waste your time on them.  But if you're just trying to make a point and act think like "you know what you're uncomfortable let me just lower more of my shirt and feed my baby longer, and I'll smile at you too." then you're just as mean and close minded as those who look down on women nursing in public.

Victoria - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Barbara:



Making an honest go at breastfeeding is all you can really ask of someone.  Whether or not they are only going to do out in the open or under a blanket is completely up to the mother.  I just think it is unhelpful to say that a woman should be discreet about it.  What does that even mean?  If there's nothing wrong with breastfeeding, then there's nothing wrong with it.  It's contradictory to say it's not gross and then say it's something that would make someone lose their appetite.  I'm sure that there were a few people who were very uncomfortable with having to share public spaces with people whose skin was a different color from their own.  We can't play to the few who may be offended when people are being discriminated against.  If a woman wants to cover up that's just fine.  But I don't think that women who do breastfeed openly in public should be able to do so without being labled indescreet.





All I'm saying is people DO need to consider others feelings. I dont think its very nice not to, and with the way the world is now, how are we supposed to tell our kids that yes, breast is best and who cares what anyone else thinks, when we all should care how others think and feel. How else are we going to understand this world? I never said that I was someone who might lose my appetite if I saw another Mother feeding her child, but someone else may. No, I dont think its gross, but someone else may. Its just the way the world is, and if those people who thought it was oh so gross could take into consideration of how good it is for the baby, then just maybe, the Mom could be considerate by not flashing the world and by trying to be discreet. Like I said, I have a set, and there is no need for me to see anyone elses. I'm not going to 'label' anyone as an indiscreet person for being a good Mother. If I see something, I see something. I'd much rather it be an accident as opposed to someone just letting it hang out.

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