brothers and sisters who fight

Chrissy - posted on 10/04/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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my daughter who is 8 and son who is 7 fight all the time and my question is does anyone know how i can keep them from fighting. i know they are close in age and thats probally why but its starting to get out of control... any advice??

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My sister and I were four yrs apart, and we got into some really bad fights...I mean, she put a hole in the wall one day....with my head and back! My mother never stepped in. She always said that if we were dumb enough to do it, she wasn't going to try and stop it b/c one day we were gonna be stronger than her, and she wasn't gonna let us hurt her! I don't quite take that approach with mine. If they get super mad, I try to get them to talk things out. I seperate them, make them talk a lil, hold hands and appologize. And I always make them say I love you at the end. It seems to work pretty well. They hate having to hold hands and be all mushy with each other! Try it...maybe it will work for you too!!

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unfortunately, close siblings will always fight, but you must try to teach them to at;east respect eachother, and yes, too punish them when fighting gets out of control!

Stacia - posted on 10/04/2009

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My daughter's didn't fight very much (they're almost 4 years apart) but I have a friend who had kids that were close in age. She made the fighting couple hold hands on the couch, until they could sincerly apologize to one another. The longer the fighting went on, the longer they had to sit there with no entertainment. This strategy seemed to work for her.

Marlie-Jo - posted on 10/04/2009

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I have 4 kids and have had the same issues. I don't think sibling rivalry will ever go away we have managed to control it. If they start fighting they all get counted for a time out. Never ask what happened or who started it. As soon as they starts we say THAT'S ONE! If they continue then it is THAT'S TWO. If they still continue then THAT'S THREE and they all go to time out.It has helped and if they do fight you can clear the head while they are all in time out. The only exception is if someone is getting hurt. Then you will need to send the aggressor to time out straight away. It is never acceptable to hurt someone else. Hope this helps.

Kathy - posted on 10/04/2009

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Chrissy,

I have five children. The first two were only 18 months apart and the last two were twins.

Kids fight to show their independence, for attention, and because they are competing I don't think there is a "pat" answer to your question. First and foremost let your children know that their behavior is not acceptable. Let them know that you love them, but that

when they behave like this there will be consequences. I believe you have to discipline the behavior and be consistant with whatever type of discipline you use. The one thing I know for a fact is you have to be consistant. If you tell them you are going to do it, DO IT. Don't back down. They will learn that you mean what you say and they will be easier to handle if they KNOW their actions have consequences. You may have to seperate them to different areas of the house. Like I said I don't believe there is a

sure fire, works everytime, answer. Know that it is normal. All children fight to some extent. Some more than others. My twins still fuss with each other due to their competitive natures, but they love each other dearly. Hope this helped a little.

Shertandra - posted on 10/04/2009

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My two sons are 5 and 6 and they fight from the time they get up to go to school until they get home and have to go to bed. Im not sure why. I've actually tried letting them engage in alot of different activities that they like to do and it is actually working. They have their occasions where they start with each other but overall it works.

Rose - posted on 10/04/2009

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my advice may not help either but I have the same problem and not to throw a wrench in the works but my grandkids are 10 and 12 boy and girl and they still fight, if I ignore it it levels out and no problems for a few hours, but the funny thing is they ask for each other when one is out with friends and the other is home alone with me or the television.

at least no matter how much they say they hate each other they dont and 2 things that work for me is i have had them write 100 times I love my brother/sister and give them the letter and an I am sorry they really hate this one, and then of course putting them in each others room boy in girls and girl in boys and no television and no games only to sit and think why they misbehaved, but they do not like to know someone else is in there room touching their stuff,, good luck

Michelle - posted on 10/04/2009

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I remember when my brother's and I were growing up (there is only 10 months between the 3 of us- they're twins). We fought all the time. We even got into fist fights, but today we all still get along pretty well. The odd spat, but nothing to major. Maybe you could try to get each one of them into a hobby that they enjoy away from the other? Maybe they just need to spend more time apart. Good luck!

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