Can anyone have any ideas on how to stop a 4 year old waking in the middle of the night and coming into my bed? He has a bed he loves, he's not having nightmares, he just wakes up I don't know why?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

April - posted on 01/19/2009

30

25

1

sounds like he just needs to snuggle. my youngest would do that too. he would come into our bed and i would let him stay for a little bit and than i would put him back to bed. he would go back to sleep just fine. he did it until kindergarten. don't sweat it some kids just need extra snuggle time.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

16 Comments

View replies by

Lizanne - posted on 01/08/2012

78

27

13

I am having the same problem with my 5-year-old. She can't say why she wakes up, but it's causing sleep-deprivation to both my husband and I, if she can't sleep, then NO ONE will. It's driving us nuts! Hope someone can hellp us both soon!

Missy - posted on 01/19/2009

4

21

0

one thing we did was ask what they wanted in their bedroom so they can and want to sleep in there.  some requests were no but a new coat of paint, a poster or 2 made a big difference.  i also pray over my kids, sing asong of how much i love them and proud o them.  maybe he is just going through some things, he might not even realize.  good luck  :)

Amanda - posted on 01/19/2009

3

4

1

the returning you child to bed is a great plan, unfortunately they are like little rubber bands and it doesnt always work. I have even sat in front of her bedroom door to keep her in her in her room, got kicked :( My girl is terribly sweet but man, she has a temper.

Amanda - posted on 01/19/2009

3

4

1

unfortuately, we have the same problem with our 5 yr old. You know there isn't really any kind way to take care of the problem, at least not for us. We tried everything, including letting her sleep in her sisters room when she is scared, which works sometimes. We have a night light in her room and suggested putting a radio on soft to keep her company. But finally we made our room off limits to the girls, not just at bed time but anytime. And we lock the door at night. Sometimes we have to lay there broken hearted while she yells outside our door but she is learning that mummas room is off limits.

Loris - posted on 01/19/2009

126

130

9

What I've always watch on tv (you know super nanny) is that you take him back to bed, even if it takes you 100 times, with no talking, no eye contact, just take him back to bed untill he realize that you wont give up...good luck

Caroline - posted on 01/19/2009

1

14

0

I had this problem and he is probably getting up because he has got used to it and he likes getting in bed with you, it may takes some nights but if you keep taking him back to bed and tucking him in etc eventually he will get the message there is nothing to wake up for.

Jacomien - posted on 01/19/2009

4

16

0

My daughter is turning 5 in March and she also comes to our bed most of the nights. We realised she misses us alot through the day, because me and my husband work and when we are home we try to give alot of attention, but it is not enough, because they must go to bed early. It is there way of being with you.



We just take her back to her bed and lay with her for a while and telling her it is mommy and daddies bed and that she must sleep in her bed.



We started to congratulate her in the mornings if she slept the whole night in her own bed by saying, you been such a good girl and you are so big now!



We also treat her and allow her Saturday mornings to get into bed with us and that she enjoys, because we are awake and we lay there talking to her.



What we also do, my husband gets up alot earlier than me, if we see it is a difficult night for her, I send her back to bed by saying, when daddy goes to work mommy will call you then you can come and lay on his side of the bed. That seems to work also.



Good luck



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



 

Angie - posted on 01/18/2009

1

16

0

Hi I Hear you. My 5 yr old still sleeps in our bed & I don't know how to get her out of this habit! Some people have told me to lock my bedroom door so she can't get in. If she bangs on the door & cries just ignore them & eventually they give up & go back to their bed. Try this method I know its soubds harsh but others say it works. I'm starting this week.

Stephanie - posted on 01/18/2009

13

10

1

Thanks for everyone's help I'm going to give it ago hopefully after 4 years i'll get a full nights sleep :-)

Sara - posted on 01/15/2009

1

11

0

All of our kids (3) did the same. My husband or I would end up moving to their beds. Once they started Kindergarten they were so tired they slept the night through with only occasional visits. Someday You'll miss them!

Lorna - posted on 01/15/2009

8

23

0

we been having the same problems with my daughter who has just turned 2. ?Our health visitor recommended a book called taming todlers he explains controlled crying and rapid return and it is tough at first but gets eaier first night was worse but each night she settled quicker then started sleeping through. It was worth it but you both have to do it and stick to it which in the early hours is hard. But definatley worked for us

Sally - posted on 01/15/2009

1

6

0

We had the same problem with our four year old daughter. She didn't want to sleep with us until she was about four, bad dreams of wolves or something. (This was 22 years ago) Anyhow, we had to place her back in bed kicking and screaming and it was very, very hard. I remember sitting outside her bedroom door bawling and praying she would go back to sleep. After a week or two-it was probably three nights that seemed like two weeks-she would sleep through the night. She had to conquor whatever fear she was having. The main thing for us was to assure her that God was with her and if she would pray to Him He would be there for her. We would pray together so she could see how to do it and know what to pray for. Just be diligent and to stick to whatever plan you come up with. Good luck.

Maria - posted on 01/15/2009

28

3

2

Quoting Stephanie:

Can anyone have any ideas on how to stop a 4 year old waking in the middle of the night and coming into my bed? He has a bed he loves, he's not having nightmares, he just wakes up I don't know why?




I HAD EXALY THE SAME PROBLEM WITH MY FOUR YEAR OLD AND UNFORTUNATELY ITS HARD WORK FOR A WEEK OR TWO BUT EACH NIGHT WHEN HE COMES IN YOU HAVE TO GET STRAIGHT UP OUT OF BED AND PUT HIM BACK IN HIS OWN BED GET HIM USED TO THE FACT THAT HE CANT GET IN WITH YOU ANYMORE AND JUST PERSAVERE BUT NO MATTER HOW HE RESPONDSDONT LET HIM INTO YOUR BED IT IS HARD BUT AFTER TWO WEEKS IT WAS DONE FOR ME, I WAS KNACKERED BUT IT WAS THE ONLY WAY AND NOW THE ONLY TIME HE COMES IN IS THE ODD NIGHTMARE OR IF HES POORLY AN UNDISTURBED NIGHTS SLEEP IF FABULOUS. HOPE THIS HELPS. XXX

Elizabeth - posted on 01/15/2009

1

0

0

is he cold or does he need to toilet or just a cuddle then try putting back in his bed u may have to sit with him till he asleep again or whatever his normal go to bed routine

Anerev - posted on 01/15/2009

3

0

1

Hello Stephanie -

I guess 4-year-olds are going through a lot of growing and learning during the day. One thing you should check is how much your child is experiencing during the day. Check if there is anything that agitates him. Check if - if the day is going calm and without any agitation like a lot of driving/going around (shopping, kindergarden) - he is calmer, too. Is he allowed to watch TV? I recognized that if my kids watch very interesting shows they are quite worked up at night. I don`t let the watch any longer than 30 minutes a day. But sometimes if the watch a fairytale which is somewhat exciting ther heads are still "working" on that story at night. Some doctors recommend not to give the child any red meat or pig for dinner. So you could try to serve chicken or something...and if all of that isn`T of any help you could try homeopathic ways - our doctor helped my daughter with a liquid from melissa (?) - it is nothing but a herb...but that finally helped her to find some rest during nights. Good luck! And - if it is of any help to you: My big son wouldn`t sleep through until he turned 5!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms