Can anyone help ? Serious mother in-law problem

Lisa Jade - posted on 01/06/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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From day 1 she has not liked me and even tried to persuade my hubby to go back to his ex. Now that we have had our first child (a little 11MO girl :) ) she keeps trying to tell me what to do and that I am doing everything wrong. The other day I asked her not to buy a specific gift for our LG and she freaked asking me "Who the hell do I think I am?!" and told me I was going to raise a child with no values (it was a religious gift). She is constantly going behind my back like trying to convince my husband to let our baby girl "cry-it-out" and that she should be smacked, when we are taking a more "attachment parenting" approaching to how we raise our daughter. She also has a drinking problem and gets very nasty and vindictive when things don't go her way- even to her own children, who's backs she often talks behind. I have tried being nice for over 3 years now but we it comes to my daughter I will not back down and this is causing strain on my marriage and putting my husband in the middle (which I hate). I do not trust this woman and I can't be false anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions on how this could possibly be resolved or how to handle the situation. I would prefer it that she would not be in our lives at all but again, I do not want to hurt my husband.

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Lacye - posted on 01/06/2013

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You don't have to explain yourself to her. What right do you have to tell her what not to do with your child? Every right because you are the child's mother! She has raised her kids, now she needs to back off and allow you to raise yours.

Personally, I would tell my husband that he can go around her all he wants, but I would not and that I don't trust her around the child unsupervised.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/06/2013

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Seriously though, when she tries to engage in conversation, make yourself unavailable. She sounds like she likes to fight. The more you discuss, the more fights she can pick. One liners, and walk.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/06/2013

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Well, she is an asshole, so just stop discussing reasons "why" you are choosing to raise your daughter a certain way. Personally my response would be "because we are the parents, you already raised your kids" and I would walk away. Maybe that is not the right thing for you to say, but man I would not be able to help myself. AND I would say it with a smile on my face, cause well...I am a bitch ;)

Lisa Jade - posted on 01/06/2013

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We did lay down the law and ask her to respect our views- which she still twists. I would never leave her alone with our LG and she has told me that she will smack her if she see fit :( (over my dead body!) She creates so much drama :( The problem with the gift was that she is one religion and we are raising our daughter another way different to hers, so we asked her not to buy a religious book as we would like to deal with all religious matters and she lost it (as I said above- telling me that I am going to raise a child with no values and I am insulting her religion and who do I think I am,etc,etc)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/06/2013

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Does she ever watch your child alone? Would she ever smack your daughter? Cause I agree with you...lay down the law with that one....but I have learned (and it has been tough) to just let people buy presents for your kids....not to put any rules on that....as long as they are age appropriate.

Lisa Jade - posted on 01/06/2013

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I have spoken to her and so has he. She starts to cry and says she is sorry, then is fine for a while and then starts all over again.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/06/2013

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Or, has your husband ever spoken with her about her behavior?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/06/2013

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Have you tried sitting down with her one on one and letting her know how you feel and that you both need to respect each others space for her son and her granddaughter?

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