Can I ask an honest question?

Hayley - posted on 04/09/2009

i didn't want my c-section due to my mom having 3 and my sister having 2. but 52 hours of labor and my son getting stuck..i chose a c-section. with my next child i will have another. i don't really want to jepardize my childs life!

Michelle - posted on 04/09/2009

I have 2 children. Unfortunately, both were delivered by way of Caesarian Section. I did not choose to do this. In both cases, my water broke and after laying in a hospital bed for hours, I was told that the umbilical cord was wrapped around their necks (in both pregnancies). I elected to do the vaginal birth after caesarian (with child #2), but I guess it wasn't in the cards for me. Since I couldn't see the cord for myself, I had to put my trust in the doctors in hopes that they were telling the truth. I do know that something wasn't right because in both instances, their heartbeats dropped. (Theirs is every 2 beats to ours). I could hear on the monitor that it slowed down beyond mine!!



I believe that God wants us to put our faith in him, but I also believe that he gives you the wisdom to make sound judgements.



Personally, if I had a choice, I would've chosen a vaginal birth, but I really believe that it wasn't supposed to be that way...

Ashley - posted on 04/06/2009

Quoting Tamara:

Quoting Ashley:

they made me hold him in because i would push and he'd crown but then he'd go back up again. i thought that was normal i watched my sister give birth to my nepehew and the same thing happened to her but the dr just kept telling her to push. it didnt make any sense to me either but being my first and not really knowing and thinking she knew what she was doing (it was a resident doctor) i listened. My dr happened to be on holidays and the dr that was looking after me wasnt called until i was pushing the 2nd time around, so he missed the delivery. When she said to hold the baby for an hr even the nurse asked her why because even to her it wasnt right. she was a horrible doctor and when i go in again i'm scared it'll be her!!..lol.........after the hr was up i was in crying in pain it was the most uncomfortable thing i had to do throughout the whole delivery!

 

*sigh*  What is it about residents that make them do the most foolish things?  It was a resident that scheduled my induction w/o my consent and another resident that gave me the Cytotec w/o telling me what it was.  If I had known, I'd have told them to take that Cytotec and shove it where the sun didn't shine.

 

I'm so sorry you had a resident do that to you. :( *HUGS*  Hopefully they learned something from your birthing journey.

 

 

 

i know eh..i guess they figure that they can do what they want, but this time around it wont be happening. i will be telling them. i will refuse to hold my child in for an hr again which i beleieve i have the right to do!. it's funny because a friend of mine ended up having her daughter 6 wks early due to placental abruption and she had the same resident, she left the baby in the womb for 12 hrs meanwhile she was covered in blood. she was born not breathing and they had to bring her back 3 times. i dont think this person should have her licence!. she wasnt even around when my son was born, the nurse delivered him because she took off they couldnt find her anywhere! on the other hand my son was hospitalised for 2 months when he was 2 wks old due to bacterial meningitis and he had two resident drs that i absolutely loved. they were sooo good to him i couldnt have asked for better. i guess you will always get those ones that think they know everything and unfortunately you and i experienced them!!....lol...if they didnt learn something from it i def have and like i mentioned when i go in to have this baby in July i may seem like a bitch but it'll be my way this time!!....LOL

Gina - posted on 04/03/2009

I don't know why so many women would rather have a c section over vagial birth.  I have 3 children and the 1st 2 were vaginal and the 3rd by csection because she was breech and wedge up into my ribs.  As far as dr's being so eagar to induce I am glad I found ones that were not.  I was in labor 29hrs w/1st he was 5lb 6.5 oz, he had the cord wraped around his neck but thanks to my quick thinking doctor pulled him out and got the cord off.  Had my daughter(vaginal birth) after 19hrs and she weighed 10lbs 2 oz - the dr never gave up that she was going to come out - it was rough (oh they only thought she was going to be about 8 lbs).  She also was 2 weeks late and I was supposed to finally be induced but was already dialating.  My 3rd which was the c section I wish could have been vaginal.  I think for me personally Vaginal was easier and I healed so much faster.

Tamara - posted on 04/03/2009

Quoting Ashley:

they made me hold him in because i would push and he'd crown but then he'd go back up again. i thought that was normal i watched my sister give birth to my nepehew and the same thing happened to her but the dr just kept telling her to push. it didnt make any sense to me either but being my first and not really knowing and thinking she knew what she was doing (it was a resident doctor) i listened. My dr happened to be on holidays and the dr that was looking after me wasnt called until i was pushing the 2nd time around, so he missed the delivery. When she said to hold the baby for an hr even the nurse asked her why because even to her it wasnt right. she was a horrible doctor and when i go in again i'm scared it'll be her!!..lol.........after the hr was up i was in crying in pain it was the most uncomfortable thing i had to do throughout the whole delivery!

 

*sigh*  What is it about residents that make them do the most foolish things?  It was a resident that scheduled my induction w/o my consent and another resident that gave me the Cytotec w/o telling me what it was.  If I had known, I'd have told them to take that Cytotec and shove it where the sun didn't shine.

I'm so sorry you had a resident do that to you. :( *HUGS*  Hopefully they learned something from your birthing journey.

Ashley - posted on 04/03/2009

Quoting Tamara:

Quoting Ashley:

i think it depends on the situation. sometimes you have to have a c-section because the baby is in danger. i almost had to come to that decision. they were giving me one more hr to push and that was it i would've had to have a c-section. i personally think i should have had one as my labour was hell. i went through a lot and had a horrible recovery. my son was hospitalized for 2 months at 2 wks old because of an infection, and we found out from numerous MRI's that he has brain damage. there's only two reasons why he has this brain damage. either something traumatising happened during my pregnancy (which absolutely nothing happened) or it happened during delivery. well i was made to hold him in for an hr which caused his nose to be all squished and bruised, a broken blood vessel in his eye, and of course the brain damage. we dont know how it will affect him when he gets older but it could have been prevented if they would have given me an c-section. so when it comes down to it, ya it's major surgery and there can be consequences but there can also be consequences with a natural delivery as well. i am currently pregnant and if they tell me to hold him in again for an hr i will say absolutely not i would rather a c-section. i have also known people though that will refuse to push and want a c-section. i mean that i think is silly and if you can avoid a c-section then why wouldnt you. like i mentioned i think it def depends on the situation and if it's needed for the health of you and the baby then i'm all for it.

If I may, why did they have you hold him in?  That doesn't seem to make any sense.

 

they made me hold him in because i would push and he'd crown but then he'd go back up again. i thought that was normal i watched my sister give birth to my nepehew and the same thing happened to her but the dr just kept telling her to push. it didnt make any sense to me either but being my first and not really knowing and thinking she knew what she was doing (it was a resident doctor) i listened. My dr happened to be on holidays and the dr that was looking after me wasnt called until i was pushing the 2nd time around, so he missed the delivery. When she said to hold the baby for an hr even the nurse asked her why because even to her it wasnt right. she was a horrible doctor and when i go in again i'm scared it'll be her!!..lol.........after the hr was up i was in crying in pain it was the most uncomfortable thing i had to do throughout the whole delivery!

Tamara - posted on 04/03/2009

Quoting Malinda:

I'm with you and had a very similar experience with my son. First, I was told that I stopped progressing after making it to 8.5cm on my own. I stayed there for only an hour when they suggested the c-section. Since when is one hour at 8.5cm "failure to progress???" They pulled the whole "baby in distress" thing with me, too, but I don't remember any evidence on the monitor to support that. But it was midnight, had been in labor for over 20 hours, and could probably have been talked into anything (and honestly my guess was that *they* just wanted to hurry things along). Granted he was born 9lbs, 14oz at 21.5" long and a 14.5" head circumfrance, and I'm only 5' 2", but we just don't *know* if I would have been able to birth him or not. Many small women give birth to large babies - it can certainly happen.

Now I'm almost 20 weeks with #2 and determined to VBAC. I'm interviewing midwives and doulas as well. I WISH I had a doula with my first birth, and am determined to have one with this birth. Looking at the statistics for doula/midwife births (shorter labors, WAY fewer c-sections, fewer complications, etc) I feel stupid for not going this route the first time.

I just don't see major abdominal surgery as a casual alternative to birth... it makes little sense to me, but then America is a very surgery-happy country.

I wish I had gotten to 8.5 on my own.  I got to 7 with Cytotec and Pitocin before stalling out due to stress and fear. (And If I had known better, I would have NEVER let them come near me with the Cytotec.

Tamara - posted on 04/03/2009

Quoting Emily:

Tamara, I don't know how many friends I have who feel the same way you do about their Csections. It's a lot though, we have a crazy induction happy OB here and I have noticed a large majority of his clients have to have Csections for whatever reason.  I was made to feel that I would have to have a Csection my entire life. Ever since I was 10 years old doctors told me that. Is that awful or what? Fortunately when I was 21 and pregnant with my first I found a great midwife. She was 'required' to send me to the hospital for a NST and u/s when I was 42 weeks. I was actually in labor at the time but didn't tell them that. I was bullied very badly by this same OB who wanted to induce right then and there because my baby was 9lbs 4 oz but warned that I would most likely need a Csection. This was all without any exam- just a U/s and the fact that I was pretty skinny. We split when he left the room. I had my baby 20 hours later no problems! Oh, and she was 6 lbs 8 oz! I think that we must give women the freedom to decide how they want to birth but make sure they are aware of the consequences. I am sure you will have a healing and empowering VBAC with your next one! Are you familliar with ICAN?

I am familiar with ICAN but haven't actively participated in any of the discussions in a very long time due to family pressure and accusations of being "obsessed" afterwards when I was doing some research on how to prevent it the next time around.

Malinda - posted on 04/03/2009

I'm with you and had a very similar experience with my son. First, I was told that I stopped progressing after making it to 8.5cm on my own. I stayed there for only an hour when they suggested the c-section. Since when is one hour at 8.5cm "failure to progress???" They pulled the whole "baby in distress" thing with me, too, but I don't remember any evidence on the monitor to support that. But it was midnight, had been in labor for over 20 hours, and could probably have been talked into anything (and honestly my guess was that *they* just wanted to hurry things along). Granted he was born 9lbs, 14oz at 21.5" long and a 14.5" head circumfrance, and I'm only 5' 2", but we just don't *know* if I would have been able to birth him or not. Many small women give birth to large babies - it can certainly happen.



Now I'm almost 20 weeks with #2 and determined to VBAC. I'm interviewing midwives and doulas as well. I WISH I had a doula with my first birth, and am determined to have one with this birth. Looking at the statistics for doula/midwife births (shorter labors, WAY fewer c-sections, fewer complications, etc) I feel stupid for not going this route the first time.



I just don't see major abdominal surgery as a casual alternative to birth... it makes little sense to me, but then America is a very surgery-happy country.

Emily - posted on 04/03/2009

Tamara, I don't know how many friends I have who feel the same way you do about their Csections. It's a lot though, we have a crazy induction happy OB here and I have noticed a large majority of his clients have to have Csections for whatever reason.  I was made to feel that I would have to have a Csection my entire life. Ever since I was 10 years old doctors told me that. Is that awful or what? Fortunately when I was 21 and pregnant with my first I found a great midwife. She was 'required' to send me to the hospital for a NST and u/s when I was 42 weeks. I was actually in labor at the time but didn't tell them that. I was bullied very badly by this same OB who wanted to induce right then and there because my baby was 9lbs 4 oz but warned that I would most likely need a Csection. This was all without any exam- just a U/s and the fact that I was pretty skinny. We split when he left the room. I had my baby 20 hours later no problems! Oh, and she was 6 lbs 8 oz! I think that we must give women the freedom to decide how they want to birth but make sure they are aware of the consequences. I am sure you will have a healing and empowering VBAC with your next one! Are you familliar with ICAN?

Tamara - posted on 04/03/2009

Quoting Kelly:

I just had my first son in November, i was 9 days past my due date and the doctor said i was showing no "signs" (like soft cervix, and baby was still high) of labor. so i was indiced on a thursday morning, started having contractions, and they broke my water at 7am on friday, then at 8am i got an epidural, and at 9pm i was only dilated to 5.5cm the doctor said that if i wasn't dilated anymore in an hour than i would have to have a c-section, while they were giving me pitocen Evan's heartrate had been irregular and they had to turn it off a couple times to give him a rest and then they eould start it again, so after about 38 hours of labor and not even dilated to 6cm i went into the operating room at about 10:45pm on friday night, everything was going good till the doctor couldn't get him out, i was in way more pain than i had ever been, and they ended up putting me compleatly to sleep and cutting my uterus horziontal and vertical to get Evan out, he was born at 11:31pm on friday november 14, 2008 he was 10lbs and 3ounces, and 21 inches long.......there was no way that i was going to have him without a c-section..... so it was much needed and my recovery wasn't that bad, not alot of pain, and was only in the hospital for 4 days.......

Your story is much like mine save I was given a spinal instead of a general.  Instead of the doctor having faith that your body would do as it was designed to do, the doctor intervened and caused you to need a surgery that otherwise could have been prevented.  Most first pregnancies actually go to 42 weeks or a bit a longer.  While it's only an anecdote, my mother carried me 18 days past the Estimated Due Date.  That's the thing about due dates.  They're only an estimation of when the doctor or midwife thinks the baby is coming.

You easily could have had him without a c-section if your doctor had just been patient enough to wait with you for you to go into labor instead of jumping the gun and trying to start labor that wasn't ready to begin.

Tamara - posted on 04/03/2009

Quoting Becky:

I was in labor for 30 hours with my first baby and only dialated to a 3. There was no way my son was going to come out naturally - when they delivered him by c-section at 10 lb 2.4 oz, I knew that I should have requested it at about hour 3 of labor. When I found out I was pregnant with my second and went into my dr. she said "you can try VBAC - I said NO WAY - I would much rather recover from another section than trying to push a watermelon through my body. I'm not saying that there weren't comlications, (I had a 'bleed' during my first delivery) - but good things came from my surgeries as well. (the doctor found a tumor the size of a grapefruit on one of my ovaries during my second delivery - wouldn't have found it until much later had I delivered my 5 month old 'naturally'. I am sorry that you didn't have a good experience with your delivery - but there are times when the procedure is necessary. I hope that things turned out well for you (healthy child - your health).

Physically, I'm healthy.  Mentally, not so much.  I had severe PPD that I'm just now coming out of at 18 months after the birth of my little one.  I'm fairly sure that if I had skipped out on the induction that OB felt was somehow so needed despite my body not being ready for labor, I'd not had nearly the problems I had with PPD afterwards.

The problem I see with people in general being so blase about a 30% c-section rate (that's 1 out of 3.) is that the majority of them are entirely preventable by trusting a woman's body to do as it is designed to do and not just making them labor on their back.  Allow the woman to move around and actually eat during labor instead of starving her.  Multiple hospital interventions make for high c-section rates.  http://www.journals.elsevierhealth.com/p...

Tamara - posted on 04/03/2009

Quoting Ashley:

i think it depends on the situation. sometimes you have to have a c-section because the baby is in danger. i almost had to come to that decision. they were giving me one more hr to push and that was it i would've had to have a c-section. i personally think i should have had one as my labour was hell. i went through a lot and had a horrible recovery. my son was hospitalized for 2 months at 2 wks old because of an infection, and we found out from numerous MRI's that he has brain damage. there's only two reasons why he has this brain damage. either something traumatising happened during my pregnancy (which absolutely nothing happened) or it happened during delivery. well i was made to hold him in for an hr which caused his nose to be all squished and bruised, a broken blood vessel in his eye, and of course the brain damage. we dont know how it will affect him when he gets older but it could have been prevented if they would have given me an c-section. so when it comes down to it, ya it's major surgery and there can be consequences but there can also be consequences with a natural delivery as well. i am currently pregnant and if they tell me to hold him in again for an hr i will say absolutely not i would rather a c-section. i have also known people though that will refuse to push and want a c-section. i mean that i think is silly and if you can avoid a c-section then why wouldnt you. like i mentioned i think it def depends on the situation and if it's needed for the health of you and the baby then i'm all for it.

If I may, why did they have you hold him in?  That doesn't seem to make any sense.

Amy - posted on 04/02/2009

It depends on the situation. I had a natural birth, a c/s, and 2 VBACs. My 1st VBAC I delivered in the OR right before I was about to have an emergency c/s. Would I change any of my births, no. They brought me my 4 wonderful children. Even if everything wasn't as planned and there were complications, I am now fine and have my kids alive and well. 

Kelly - posted on 04/02/2009

I just had my first son in November, i was 9 days past my due date and the doctor said i was showing no "signs" (like soft cervix, and baby was still high) of labor. so i was indiced on a thursday morning, started having contractions, and they broke my water at 7am on friday, then at 8am i got an epidural, and at 9pm i was only dilated to 5.5cm the doctor said that if i wasn't dilated anymore in an hour than i would have to have a c-section, while they were giving me pitocen Evan's heartrate had been irregular and they had to turn it off a couple times to give him a rest and then they eould start it again, so after about 38 hours of labor and not even dilated to 6cm i went into the operating room at about 10:45pm on friday night, everything was going good till the doctor couldn't get him out, i was in way more pain than i had ever been, and they ended up putting me compleatly to sleep and cutting my uterus horziontal and vertical to get Evan out, he was born at 11:31pm on friday november 14, 2008 he was 10lbs and 3ounces, and 21 inches long.......there was no way that i was going to have him without a c-section..... so it was much needed and my recovery wasn't that bad, not alot of pain, and was only in the hospital for 4 days.......

Becky - posted on 04/02/2009

I was in labor for 30 hours with my first baby and only dialated to a 3. There was no way my son was going to come out naturally - when they delivered him by c-section at 10 lb 2.4 oz, I knew that I should have requested it at about hour 3 of labor. When I found out I was pregnant with my second and went into my dr. she said "you can try VBAC - I said NO WAY - I would much rather recover from another section than trying to push a watermelon through my body. I'm not saying that there weren't comlications, (I had a 'bleed' during my first delivery) - but good things came from my surgeries as well. (the doctor found a tumor the size of a grapefruit on one of my ovaries during my second delivery - wouldn't have found it until much later had I delivered my 5 month old 'naturally'. I am sorry that you didn't have a good experience with your delivery - but there are times when the procedure is necessary. I hope that things turned out well for you (healthy child - your health).

Jolene - posted on 04/02/2009

Obviously there is nothing wrong with c-sections if there is good reason for it, but I cannot understand why people just schedual a c-section because they just don't "feel" like doing it vaginally. The whole "too posh to push" thing baffles me!

Anastasia - posted on 04/02/2009

I think it's interesting to see the different attitudes on this. I had a c-section because of an early placental abruption, never even started real labor, only dilated to 1 cm (does that even count as dilation?). I kept hearing how lucky I was. I keep feeling like I missed out on a huge portion of my pregnancy, and keep looking for what I did wrong that could have caused the situation. I think some people think the grass is always greener on the other side, most of the people who tell me how lucky I am to have missed that had vaginal deliveries.

Ashley - posted on 04/02/2009

i think it depends on the situation. sometimes you have to have a c-section because the baby is in danger. i almost had to come to that decision. they were giving me one more hr to push and that was it i would've had to have a c-section. i personally think i should have had one as my labour was hell. i went through a lot and had a horrible recovery. my son was hospitalized for 2 months at 2 wks old because of an infection, and we found out from numerous MRI's that he has brain damage. there's only two reasons why he has this brain damage. either something traumatising happened during my pregnancy (which absolutely nothing happened) or it happened during delivery. well i was made to hold him in for an hr which caused his nose to be all squished and bruised, a broken blood vessel in his eye, and of course the brain damage. we dont know how it will affect him when he gets older but it could have been prevented if they would have given me an c-section. so when it comes down to it, ya it's major surgery and there can be consequences but there can also be consequences with a natural delivery as well. i am currently pregnant and if they tell me to hold him in again for an hr i will say absolutely not i would rather a c-section. i have also known people though that will refuse to push and want a c-section. i mean that i think is silly and if you can avoid a c-section then why wouldnt you. like i mentioned i think it def depends on the situation and if it's needed for the health of you and the baby then i'm all for it.