Can't leave my 9 month olds sight...

Michelle - posted on 10/05/2009

Quoting Lisa:

When you have to pee...take baby with you. It takes all of half a second to whisk baby up and go to the bathroom. I've nursed baby many a time while sitting on the pot myself.

Concerning bed time...put baby on OTHER SIDE. Does she need to be next to your husband? For the record, my own husband wiggles like nothing else in his sleep, and he has yet to even come close to rolling on our 11 month old, who has slept in bed with us since the day she was born.

All this requires is a little adjustment in your expectations of motherhood and the needs of infants: babies are very vulnerable creatures, both physically and emotionally. She NEEDS to be with you- her security depends on it. She's more aware of the world, and in her instinctive animal mind, to be alone risks separation from you, abandonment, and physical injury. It may not be logical to you, but to her it is a very real concern. Don't expect her to sleep through the night without needing you. Night independence really doesn't develop thoroughly until three or four years of age. Being a momma= broken sleep. That's just the way it is.

Get a good soft baby carrier. Strap her to you, go about your day. And take that extra second to tote her along from room to room. Shower her with love and your presence and she'll develop her independence on her own time- don't push her before she's ready.

She can't come with me when I pee, I already explained that in a prior post.  Our bathroom is under construction and it is not a safe place for her to be.  As for her sitting on my lap, I harly have room to move around myself, as our toilet is currently stuck between two walls that give you no arm room or anything!

If she sleeps on the other side, she risks falling off the bed, not a good thing!

Your comment "being a momma=broken sleep.  That's just the way it is" is a little on the rude side.  I was simply asking if people thought it might be a little seperation anxiety that she might be going through.  I fully understand that being a mother is going to mean lack of sleep from time to time.  I was looking for some thoughts on why this all changed so quickly.  She never cared where we were and now it's a big deal, which is fine with me but there are times that she can't be with me.  She does come from room to room with me, but if I'm dashing for the door or the phone, I don't feel that I need to always grab her (it's normally within her sight).  I on't feel that I'm pushing independace on her.

Minnie - posted on 10/05/2009

When you have to pee...take baby with you. It takes all of half a second to whisk baby up and go to the bathroom. I've nursed baby many a time while sitting on the pot myself.



Concerning bed time...put baby on OTHER SIDE. Does she need to be next to your husband? For the record, my own husband wiggles like nothing else in his sleep, and he has yet to even come close to rolling on our 11 month old, who has slept in bed with us since the day she was born.



All this requires is a little adjustment in your expectations of motherhood and the needs of infants: babies are very vulnerable creatures, both physically and emotionally. She NEEDS to be with you- her security depends on it. She's more aware of the world, and in her instinctive animal mind, to be alone risks separation from you, abandonment, and physical injury. It may not be logical to you, but to her it is a very real concern. Don't expect her to sleep through the night without needing you. Night independence really doesn't develop thoroughly until three or four years of age. Being a momma= broken sleep. That's just the way it is.



Get a good soft baby carrier. Strap her to you, go about your day. And take that extra second to tote her along from room to room. Shower her with love and your presence and she'll develop her independence on her own time- don't push her before she's ready.

Heidi - posted on 10/05/2009

Quoting Lyssa:

She is not allowed to have bottles in her crib, so either way I have to get up if she needs a feeding (Which is fine).  The rest of the time though she screams her little head off until you go in and get her...  then she giggles!  But if you try to just put her back down she screams again.  So I end up spending half an hour trying to rock her back to sleep.

Sounds like she just wants your attention then.  Go in, put her back down to sleep, then leave.  Give her like 5 minutes, 10 if you can stand it, then go back, calm her down, put her back in her crib.  Repeat as neccessary.  Its going to tear at your heart - but trust me, she'll go down, and she needs to sooth herself to sleep.  This is as much for your sanity as for her.  I refused to rock my daughter to sleep after she was 6 weeks old, and she's done very well with putting herself to bed.  Its hard, but its best for both of you.

This worked for my little one perfectly give it about a week of torture before she gets the message about when sleep time is. Also I had to make sure her last nap wasnt going past 4 o clock so that she would sleep properly. It kept happening anytime we had a difference in routine like a long drive where her sleep was put out. It would take three days each time. but afterwards if she woke up then she would play by herself in her cot then go back to sleep by herself. After a while I had 8pm to 8am like clockwork. However if she doesnt giggle or act like she was playing with you then giv e her the attention she may need it.

At one stage I got desperate and started to put her on the floor in front of me just to go to the toilet and let her play with toys in the bath while I had a shower. Then the stage passed and she wanted explore elsewhere. Only after I started to put other kids more often though.

Sylvia - posted on 10/05/2009

Quoting Michelle:

Quoting Sylvia:

That's great that the jolly-jumper is helping :) Like I said, whatever distractions work...

I'm afraid I'm not going to be any help on the sleeping (or not sleeping) thing, because when my daughter was that age we lived in a one-bedroom flat and she would not sleep alone (we did try...), so we co-slept full-time until she was four and a half, when we moved to our current place, where she has her own room. (I didn't have the kicking-husband problem that you have, obviously ;^).) So I honestly have no direct experience with non-co-sleeping babies to share.

You have no idea!!  I mean I'm honestly lucky to get out of bed alive in the morning!!  So she wouldn't stand a chance!!  Did you ever find it hard to co-sleep that long?

Well ... not really. Except when the in-laws lectured us about it, of course :P. It was just kind of what we did, you know?

Michelle - posted on 10/04/2009

Quoting Sylvia:

That's great that the jolly-jumper is helping :) Like I said, whatever distractions work...

I'm afraid I'm not going to be any help on the sleeping (or not sleeping) thing, because when my daughter was that age we lived in a one-bedroom flat and she would not sleep alone (we did try...), so we co-slept full-time until she was four and a half, when we moved to our current place, where she has her own room. (I didn't have the kicking-husband problem that you have, obviously ;^).) So I honestly have no direct experience with non-co-sleeping babies to share.

You have no idea!!  I mean I'm honestly lucky to get out of bed alive in the morning!!  So she wouldn't stand a chance!!  Did you ever find it hard to co-sleep that long?

Dalyla - posted on 10/04/2009

You need to understand that she will be okay, children can since how we are feeling. Try to keep calm hug here and walk away allow her to cry herself to sleep or you will forever be rocking her to sleep at night and you dont wont that to be the case when she is 2 or 3. Good luck.

Sylvia - posted on 10/04/2009

That's great that the jolly-jumper is helping :) Like I said, whatever distractions work...

I'm afraid I'm not going to be any help on the sleeping (or not sleeping) thing, because when my daughter was that age we lived in a one-bedroom flat and she would not sleep alone (we did try...), so we co-slept full-time until she was four and a half, when we moved to our current place, where she has her own room. (I didn't have the kicking-husband problem that you have, obviously ;^).) So I honestly have no direct experience with non-co-sleeping babies to share.

Michelle - posted on 10/04/2009

It's hard to just let her cry, because both my husband and I lie in bed awake until she stops. Which really doesn't help in the sleep department! It just sort of started the past couple of weeks. Up until then she was a great sleeper- 7:30-7:30. I'm sorry to hear about your end result!! Thank goodness my hubby and I get enough sleep to not be really grumpy with each other. we notice a change in her behaviour through the day too when she's not getting her normal amount of sleep, so that makes it hard on me as well. She just seems to be off, not really grumpy- more like she HAS to me with mommy all the time! It was when her nights started going crazy that she started the daytime stuff. I'm not sure!!

Andrea - posted on 10/04/2009

I would let my lil ones cry in intervals...let them cry for 1 min...go in, rub their back and reassure them, leave the room, let them cry for 3 min...repeat the cycle...they may cry for up to 20-30 min before they fall back to sleep, but they will. If the crying goes beyond that, I would get them from thier crib and hold them, rock them...try to calm them. But even at such a young age they know how to work you. My middle son still has seperation anxiety, he was diagnosed when he was about 3 mo old, it is not fun! He didn't sleep without being held for 10 mo! It ended in my husband and I divorcing because we were so exhausted and sleep deprived, it tore us apart! Let her cry a lil, it will not hurt her, I promise!

Michelle - posted on 10/04/2009

Quoting Sylvia:

Quoting Michelle:

Quoting Sylvia:

Separation anxiety is something almost all babies go through at around this age. It's TOTALLY NORMAL. It's not "bad behaviour" and you don't need to train her not to do it.

At this age it won't seriously traumatize her to cry for a couple of minutes while you go to the bathroom (although I'm not sure I understand why she can't come with you -- mine always just followed me in) or whatever. But really the easiest way to deal with the fact that she freaks out when you leave is probably to just take her with you. She'll grow out of it within a few months, whether or not you try to "train" her out of it.

I don';t believe anyone said that it was "bad behaviour".  I was simply asking if everyone thought that it might be seperation anxiety.

The reason I don't take her into the bathroom with me is because we are in the middle of redoing it, and she can't crawl around on the floor the way that it is.  And she can't sit on my lap, because the way my toilet is right noe your pretty much wedged between two walls!  (Hence the redoing:o))

I'm not trying to train her (Makes her sound like a puppy!), I was simply asking for suggestions that might put her more at ease.  And she can't always be with me (when I'm standing over a hot stove, etc) so I thought maybe some mom's may have some thoughts on what I could do to help her.

I'm really sorry if I sounded snarky -- and any snark wasn't aimed at you, but at the reply I'd just read which said "It's hard to untrain bad behaviour." -- and, okay, all the many suggestions that she needs to be all by herself at night. I've obviously been reading too many threads on here about things that make me unhappy (smacking curious toddlers, sleep-training four-month-olds...) and am letting it get to me. I am sorry for the snark.

I know what it's like to have a really small bathroom! Ours in our old flat was tiny. In the bathroom, is there room for her to sit or stand in the tub? Or is that under construction too?  Nothing like living through home renos to really make your life fun ...

Is there something she really likes to do (a favourite toy, playing with socks, banging on pots and pans...) that could keep her busy and distracted for a few minutes at a time when necessary? When you're cooking, is there enough room in the kitchen that she could be a safe distance from the stove but still within sight of you in her high chair (if you have one)? I'll be honest, I did sometimes cook while babywearing when my daughter was in full-on separation-anxiety mode -- that was when I learned to use hip and back carries, to keep her out of reach of possible hot splashes. (And also, we ate a lot of sandwiches and salad.)

I know it never seems like they're hearing or understanding you when you explain that you have to do X and will be right back, but I think over time it does help to do those explanations -- it gets you into the habit, and they start to understand better after a while (as well as growing out of the extreme separation anxiety so they don't mind quite as much anyway). Even older kids often don't have a very good sense of time (I swear my seven-year-old can't tell the difference between 5 minutes and half an hour!), but every time you say "Mummy will be right back," leave, and then come back again, it reinforces the idea that you *will* always come back.

Still, though, like a lot of the really difficult phases kids go through (talking about bodily functions at the dinner table is the current one around here :P), I don't know if there's really anything you can *do* about it besides waiting for her to grow out of it.

 

 

After re-reading the posts I have re-read the post you saw about untraining bad behaviour, so I understand where that was coming from!!  I don't like to leave her all night, we just won't bring her to our room/bed!  Because as I mentioned with the way my husband sleeps even I'm lucky to get out of there alive!!:o)

I tried putting her in the tub this morning while I went pee and she still lost her mind!  But the way the bathroom is set up currently she still could see me and even talking didn't help!!  Let me tell you...  it's not easy to pee with a screaming child in the bathroom with you!!

We just bought her a Tigger jump-a-roo last night and so I tried that this mroning (when the tub didn't work), she cried for a bit, but then figured out that she can jump in it and not fall over!  Didn't hear a peep until she actually saw me again!  So I think we may have solved the bathroom issue.

Cooking normally isn't a big issue, as my husband is normally home to take her when I'm making dinner (he just has to stand in the kitchen where I am- his choice not hers!).  But perhaps I will try the highchair in there the next time I'm needing the stove to make lunch.  We have a front carrier, but I'm not comfortable putting her in that while I cook.

I have been trying to make sure I always tell her where I am going so that she has some idea.  But like you said that takes time!

That would be quite the dinner conversation!!  I really hope that day doesn't come around here!  I'm hoping that with having a girl I might not have that problem!!

it's more the night time thing that has me baffled!  She has always been a great sleeper, so it's hard having the night time wakings again!!  I guess it will go back to normal at some point!  i just don't like to listen to her cry!  Makes me sad!  Any thoughts on that one?

Sylvia - posted on 10/04/2009

Quoting Michelle:

Quoting Sylvia:

Separation anxiety is something almost all babies go through at around this age. It's TOTALLY NORMAL. It's not "bad behaviour" and you don't need to train her not to do it.

At this age it won't seriously traumatize her to cry for a couple of minutes while you go to the bathroom (although I'm not sure I understand why she can't come with you -- mine always just followed me in) or whatever. But really the easiest way to deal with the fact that she freaks out when you leave is probably to just take her with you. She'll grow out of it within a few months, whether or not you try to "train" her out of it.

I don';t believe anyone said that it was "bad behaviour".  I was simply asking if everyone thought that it might be seperation anxiety.

The reason I don't take her into the bathroom with me is because we are in the middle of redoing it, and she can't crawl around on the floor the way that it is.  And she can't sit on my lap, because the way my toilet is right noe your pretty much wedged between two walls!  (Hence the redoing:o))

I'm not trying to train her (Makes her sound like a puppy!), I was simply asking for suggestions that might put her more at ease.  And she can't always be with me (when I'm standing over a hot stove, etc) so I thought maybe some mom's may have some thoughts on what I could do to help her.

I'm really sorry if I sounded snarky -- and any snark wasn't aimed at you, but at the reply I'd just read which said "It's hard to untrain bad behaviour." -- and, okay, all the many suggestions that she needs to be all by herself at night. I've obviously been reading too many threads on here about things that make me unhappy (smacking curious toddlers, sleep-training four-month-olds...) and am letting it get to me. I am sorry for the snark.

I know what it's like to have a really small bathroom! Ours in our old flat was tiny. In the bathroom, is there room for her to sit or stand in the tub? Or is that under construction too?  Nothing like living through home renos to really make your life fun ...

Is there something she really likes to do (a favourite toy, playing with socks, banging on pots and pans...) that could keep her busy and distracted for a few minutes at a time when necessary? When you're cooking, is there enough room in the kitchen that she could be a safe distance from the stove but still within sight of you in her high chair (if you have one)? I'll be honest, I did sometimes cook while babywearing when my daughter was in full-on separation-anxiety mode -- that was when I learned to use hip and back carries, to keep her out of reach of possible hot splashes. (And also, we ate a lot of sandwiches and salad.)

I know it never seems like they're hearing or understanding you when you explain that you have to do X and will be right back, but I think over time it does help to do those explanations -- it gets you into the habit, and they start to understand better after a while (as well as growing out of the extreme separation anxiety so they don't mind quite as much anyway). Even older kids often don't have a very good sense of time (I swear my seven-year-old can't tell the difference between 5 minutes and half an hour!), but every time you say "Mummy will be right back," leave, and then come back again, it reinforces the idea that you *will* always come back.

Still, though, like a lot of the really difficult phases kids go through (talking about bodily functions at the dinner table is the current one around here :P), I don't know if there's really anything you can *do* about it besides waiting for her to grow out of it.

Michelle - posted on 10/03/2009

Quoting Sylvia:

Separation anxiety is something almost all babies go through at around this age. It's TOTALLY NORMAL. It's not "bad behaviour" and you don't need to train her not to do it.

At this age it won't seriously traumatize her to cry for a couple of minutes while you go to the bathroom (although I'm not sure I understand why she can't come with you -- mine always just followed me in) or whatever. But really the easiest way to deal with the fact that she freaks out when you leave is probably to just take her with you. She'll grow out of it within a few months, whether or not you try to "train" her out of it.

I don';t believe anyone said that it was "bad behaviour".  I was simply asking if everyone thought that it might be seperation anxiety.

The reason I don't take her into the bathroom with me is because we are in the middle of redoing it, and she can't crawl around on the floor the way that it is.  And she can't sit on my lap, because the way my toilet is right noe your pretty much wedged between two walls!  (Hence the redoing:o))

I'm not trying to train her (Makes her sound like a puppy!), I was simply asking for suggestions that might put her more at ease.  And she can't always be with me (when I'm standing over a hot stove, etc) so I thought maybe some mom's may have some thoughts on what I could do to help her.

Sylvia - posted on 10/03/2009

Separation anxiety is something almost all babies go through at around this age. It's TOTALLY NORMAL. It's not "bad behaviour" and you don't need to train her not to do it.

At this age it won't seriously traumatize her to cry for a couple of minutes while you go to the bathroom (although I'm not sure I understand why she can't come with you -- mine always just followed me in) or whatever. But really the easiest way to deal with the fact that she freaks out when you leave is probably to just take her with you. She'll grow out of it within a few months, whether or not you try to "train" her out of it.

Olivia - posted on 10/03/2009

i tottally understand it does hurt me but sometimes i cant handle it so thats y let her cry it out not all the time tho just on the days im ready 2 pull out my hair im a full time student so i have lots of strees tryin 2 run the house kids and homework and my bf works alot so im the maqin caregiver i dont get much help good luck tho i hope she gets thrpugh it know 1 can tell u how to do it only u know whats best 4 her

Michelle - posted on 10/03/2009

Quoting olivia:

well at night i was told by 6 mos cut out the feeding and maybe shes teething, my oldest now almost 3 started waking up after she turned 1 and still does its just a phase and they get through it sometimes u have to let them comfort themselves! but when it comes to always needing u in sight thats normal my kids are exactly like that both my oldest and 6 mos old come to the bathroom with me, the shower, cooking cleaning everywhere if i move out of sight my 6 mos old throws a fit, shell be fine just be patient like the past few days my 6mos old has been giving me a hard time going to sleep, and just now i let her cry it out for about 30 min and she fell asleep i hate doing it but some times we need a break as parents and i may cry with her but at least i know shes okay

We give her the feedings still because she is on the small side and any bit of extra is good for her.  This came from our doctor.  She may also be teething, which is something I have thought of.  I do sometimes let her cry but i only do about 15 minutes and then go back in to comfort her.  She's our first and only child so I like to be there when she needs me.

Michelle - posted on 10/03/2009

Quoting Cindy:

Oh Ladies. You are living my life.
You baby was fine until...What happened? Did you move? Go back to work? Get a new Sitter?
I figured out my need to let my hubby sleep, helped my baby, to train me, to get up at every wimper. I didn't realize that he only had to scream and I picked him up and put a bottle in his mouth. "Who needs to say words. Mommy knows scream talk. Mommy will run and pick me up if I do this..." And so on. It's been a long hard road.
But now he's much better and I get to sleep too.
I have learned the hard lesson of letting him cry for 5 mins after putting him down. And not being so quick to pick. I now look at the reason for the noise, and if the reason isn't good enough for picking up, I kiss him on his head, and hand him a toy and walk away. He has to try to speak in order to get what he wants.
We know better then to EVER bring the baby to bed. BIG NO NO. So it was never an issue. But falling asleep in the chair in his room was a regular occurance. We finally left a TV on in his room and let him watch the boob tube. He's now at 12 hours of silence from 7pm to 7 am and we get to sleep all night too.
It's hard to untrain bad behaviour. But you need your sanity. Good luck.

Nothing has happened that I know of.  Mommy and Daddy are still together, we live in the same house, she's slept in the same crib since the day she came home from the hospital, we don't go out EVER!!  So a sitter is not in the cards, no new pets, yadda, yadda!  I have no idea!

She was really good with bedtime.  We just gave her a bath and bottle and put her in her crib awake.  She would fall asleep on her own.  Now FORGOT ABOUT IT!!  She freaks out!  And we only go in and get her if she's really freaking out.

Olivia - posted on 10/03/2009

well at night i was told by 6 mos cut out the feeding and maybe shes teething, my oldest now almost 3 started waking up after she turned 1 and still does its just a phase and they get through it sometimes u have to let them comfort themselves! but when it comes to always needing u in sight thats normal my kids are exactly like that both my oldest and 6 mos old come to the bathroom with me, the shower, cooking cleaning everywhere if i move out of sight my 6 mos old throws a fit, shell be fine just be patient like the past few days my 6mos old has been giving me a hard time going to sleep, and just now i let her cry it out for about 30 min and she fell asleep i hate doing it but some times we need a break as parents and i may cry with her but at least i know shes okay

Cassandra - posted on 10/03/2009

OMG! My son was like that from about 8 months until about 12 months. His father and I split up when he was 5 months (shared custody), I blamed that. Figuring that he was only seeing me 4 days a week and it was hard on him. At first I loved it. He couldn't wait to jump out of his dads arms and come to mommy...it felt sooo good...for a very little while...it got old very quick. I couldn't take him anywhere. I was seriously I VERY SINGLE mother. On vacation, where there was plenty of family there to help with him, he clung to me. I couldn't shower, brush my teeth, pee, do anything unless he was napping. I couldn't even leave him sit with my dad for 10 minutes and my dad sees him practically every day. It became such a burden...I was in nervous wreck. I really thought this separation screwed him up.

But at about 12 months, he was like a whole different child. He is so independent now that it scares me! At the zoo he went up to a total stranger and tried to eat off of their plate in the food court!! He loves being around people, I can actually use a sitter now...it's nice.

I agree with the last response...it is def. a stage. (I do wish he was just a tiny bit clingier tho!! I must admit!)

Cindy - posted on 10/03/2009

Oh Ladies. You are living my life.

You baby was fine until...What happened? Did you move? Go back to work? Get a new Sitter?

I figured out my need to let my hubby sleep, helped my baby, to train me, to get up at every wimper. I didn't realize that he only had to scream and I picked him up and put a bottle in his mouth. "Who needs to say words. Mommy knows scream talk. Mommy will run and pick me up if I do this..." And so on. It's been a long hard road.

But now he's much better and I get to sleep too.

I have learned the hard lesson of letting him cry for 5 mins after putting him down. And not being so quick to pick. I now look at the reason for the noise, and if the reason isn't good enough for picking up, I kiss him on his head, and hand him a toy and walk away. He has to try to speak in order to get what he wants.

We know better then to EVER bring the baby to bed. BIG NO NO. So it was never an issue. But falling asleep in the chair in his room was a regular occurance. We finally left a TV on in his room and let him watch the boob tube. He's now at 12 hours of silence from 7pm to 7 am and we get to sleep all night too.

It's hard to untrain bad behaviour. But you need your sanity. Good luck.

Lyssa - posted on 10/03/2009

Go to her when she is very upset. hold her but under no circumstances speak and leave the light off.

Yeah I forgot this part but she's right its very important!

Sheila - posted on 10/03/2009

My little girl has always been anxious when i leave the room. She is 16 months now and can follow me which i think she mostly does to see if I'm doing anything interesting.
Every time I left the room before she could move herself she screamed the place down, I tried distractions of all sorts. to no avail. even leaving her with her Dad did't help
Bottom line is you can't beat yourself up over her being upset. She has to learn that you will return and that you can't always be by her side. I know how hard it is to listen to screaming but as she gets older there is going to be more and more she wants that you can't give her and she won't be able to understand why and you will have to cope with the screaming.
It isn't easy when they are that age. Previously if they screamed it was because they needed the basics by 9 months they start to explore the world and the wants change.
As for bedtime as has been suggested you have to both go cold turkey. After a month my daughter went to her own room. We were carefull when to keep the room dark at night and stimulations at aminimum and we have been fortunate to have had klittle problems at night. Go to her when she is very upset. hold her but under no circumstances speak and leave the light off. She will go to sleep eventually and she will get the hang of nights.
Incidently if she gets good sleep at night she may be less emotional during the day.
Good luck

Lyssa - posted on 10/03/2009

She is not allowed to have bottles in her crib, so either way I have to get up if she needs a feeding (Which is fine).  The rest of the time though she screams her little head off until you go in and get her...  then she giggles!  But if you try to just put her back down she screams again.  So I end up spending half an hour trying to rock her back to sleep.

Sounds like she just wants your attention then.  Go in, put her back down to sleep, then leave.  Give her like 5 minutes, 10 if you can stand it, then go back, calm her down, put her back in her crib.  Repeat as neccessary.  Its going to tear at your heart - but trust me, she'll go down, and she needs to sooth herself to sleep.  This is as much for your sanity as for her.  I refused to rock my daughter to sleep after she was 6 weeks old, and she's done very well with putting herself to bed.  Its hard, but its best for both of you.

Betty - posted on 10/03/2009

This is a phase. Most babies go through this at about her age. Try giving her a basket of toys to play with on the bathroom floor if you don't want to listen to her crying while you are in there. Empty out the bathroom cubbard and put some of her toys in it instead. Babies love getting stuff out of cubbards and it will be useful for when you need a shower too.

Michelle - posted on 10/03/2009

Quoting Lyssa:

My daughter did the EXACT same thing. You need to remember baby's don't really have a sense of time, for 5 mintues of 5 hours, to them its still eternity. What I did if I had to leave, even for the bathroom, was pick her up, give her a big hug, and say 'Emmy, Mommy has to ___ (go to the bathroom/get a bottle/move to China), I'll be right back, and I love you.' Then right into her playpen she'd go, quickly gave her a toy, then dashed off to do what had to be done. Did she cry? Yes. Did it kill her? Of course not. Did she get over it? Eventually. The key is to let her know your leaving, even if she doesn't fully understand, then put her in a safe place and destract her. Then come right back and reasure her that once your task was done, you were hers again.
The nighttime thing is a bit harder. Prep her bottles if you allow them in her crib, so you can grab, give, and dash. Sometimes though, with mine, all she needed was to be picked up, held for a minute, and she'd fall back asleep before I could even get her back in the crib. I'm sure your already doning this, but just in case, make deffinently sure she is dry and full before bed, this will ensure she's down longer. You'll still get a full nights sleep, but it will probably be interupted for a while. Its a phase, and shouldm't last too much longer.

I have been using the Mommy has to go______.  thing recently.  Doen't seem to make a difference yet, but you're right in time it will:o)

She is not allowed to have bottles in her crib, so either way I have to get up if she needs a feeding (Which is fine).  The rest of the time though she screams her little head off until you go in and get her...  then she giggles!  But if you try to just put her back down she screams again.  So I end up spending half an hour trying to rock her back to sleep.

I'm hoping it passes quickly.  I feel bad for her!  I can deal with a lack of sleep and just catch up when she naps, but I hate hearing her scream like that!

Lyssa - posted on 10/03/2009

My daughter did the EXACT same thing. You need to remember baby's don't really have a sense of time, for 5 mintues of 5 hours, to them its still eternity. What I did if I had to leave, even for the bathroom, was pick her up, give her a big hug, and say 'Emmy, Mommy has to ___ (go to the bathroom/get a bottle/move to China), I'll be right back, and I love you.' Then right into her playpen she'd go, quickly gave her a toy, then dashed off to do what had to be done. Did she cry? Yes. Did it kill her? Of course not. Did she get over it? Eventually. The key is to let her know your leaving, even if she doesn't fully understand, then put her in a safe place and destract her. Then come right back and reasure her that once your task was done, you were hers again.

The nighttime thing is a bit harder. Prep her bottles if you allow them in her crib, so you can grab, give, and dash. Sometimes though, with mine, all she needed was to be picked up, held for a minute, and she'd fall back asleep before I could even get her back in the crib. I'm sure your already doning this, but just in case, make deffinently sure she is dry and full before bed, this will ensure she's down longer. You'll still get a full nights sleep, but it will probably be interupted for a while. Its a phase, and shouldm't last too much longer.

Michelle - posted on 10/03/2009

Thanks Jan! I guess it's because I'm not use to it! She always loved to play alone and ignored us when we even sat on the floor with her. Actually she still ignores us when we try to actually sit with her, but if we try to leave the room for a washroom break or to grab something from the kitch LOOK OUT! I think she may be teething again, which could explain the night time wakings, but it's still hard. And I can't sleep while she's crying, so I loose either way. Small price to pay though! She's a wonderful little girl and we've been very lucky:o)

Jan - posted on 10/03/2009

Hi Michelle, listen to what Hannahs mum says, she is so right, it does not hurt to let a baby cry for a wee while. My eldest daughter, now 25, would scream if anybody simply looked at her, including her devastated dad. She grew out of it before reaching a year & now is a real daddies girl. I wish you luck & peaceful nights ahead. x

Michelle - posted on 10/03/2009

Quoting Hannah:

I hope that doesnt happen to me but im sure it happens to a lot of mothers. My almost 5 month old is really good about me leaving for a minute and her entertaining herself and im kind of worried about the same thing when shes older. my mom told me sometimes you need to just let them cry for a minute or play games like peek a boo or hind in seek to let them know that things they cant see are still there.

My daughter always was good about me leaving the room for a bit, but it changed a couple of weeks ago.

It's not just a little cry either:o(  It's a full out scream!  She gets these big tears streaming down her little cheeks and the whole nine yards!

She LOVES Peek a boo.  She also loves it when I hide under a blanket and she tries to find me.  But if she see's me leave her sight forget about it! 

I just don't know what else to try!

Michelle - posted on 10/03/2009

Quoting Hannah:

I hope that doesnt happen to me but im sure it happens to a lot of mothers. My almost 5 month old is really good about me leaving for a minute and her entertaining herself and im kind of worried about the same thing when shes older. my mom told me sometimes you need to just let them cry for a minute or play games like peek a boo or hind in seek to let them know that things they cant see are still there.

My daughter always was good about me leaving the room for a bit, but it changed a couple of weeks ago.

It's not just a little cry either:o(  It's a full out scream!  She gets these big tears streaming down her little cheeks and the whole nine yards!

She LOVES Peek a boo.  She also loves it when I hide under a blanket and she tries to find me.  But if she see's me leave her sight forget about it! 

I just don't know what else to try!

Hannah - posted on 10/03/2009

I hope that doesnt happen to me but im sure it happens to a lot of mothers. My almost 5 month old is really good about me leaving for a minute and her entertaining herself and im kind of worried about the same thing when shes older. my mom told me sometimes you need to just let them cry for a minute or play games like peek a boo or hind in seek to let them know that things they cant see are still there.

Nea - posted on 10/03/2009

im going through the exact same thing with my 9 month old daughter. I think it is just a stage babies go through? hopefully. sorry im no help, but just know your not alone