cannot stand perfect mums

Bec - posted on 06/07/2009 ( 445 moms have responded )

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OMG - am i the only mum out there that gets frustrated at her kids when they are naughty, or talk back at you, or dont sleep through the night? Am I the only mum who has fed their baby "artificial milk" yes, formula and not been able to breastfeed, and still believes that a smack to a naughty child is ok? I read so many posts on "perfect mums" totally hanging it on mums who dont follow their way of parenting and are totally bagged for it!! Well im here to bag out those mums of you who think you have it all together - teach us all the error of our ways - please - we are just not as good as you!

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Amanda - posted on 06/07/2009

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hahaha oh boy, looks like someone has a bit of jealousy going on that she cant hold it together like some of us can . what did you think life with a baby would be like hun?

I read your rude post in the thread about moms who expect their babes to sleep throught he night and I for sure sense some huge jealousy and resentment.

FYI chicky boo, not one of use on here thinks we are perfect ok. Just because we read the books, and educated our selves and do the VERY BEST for our children does not mean we think we are perfect. All the sacrifices I have made for my children have been tough. keeping a perfect germ/dust free house to help my daughters allergies, waking every couple hours to make sure my failure to thrive baby eats, I happily do these things without whineing and bitching because I knew when I was pregnant that life with a baby wont be a bed of roses. each child is diferent, some are special needs like mine and need an immaculate house and are not allowed to sleep through the night. I think that the moms like me who are given these hard lives to live are envious of the moms with normal healthy children and get really pissed off when we read of moms with normal children taking the easy way out (spanking for the immidiate reasponse instead of time outs that may take longer but have less damaging effects, rice cereal in bottles to make them sleep, cio ect, all these actions are to benefit the mother not the child and they are harmful) we get mad about moms with these expectations because they are so selfish and only want what is best for themselves. tell me, if you had a special needs child would you not want to make sure you do EVERYTHING right.

Alayna - posted on 06/08/2009

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Isn't this entire "conversation" hypocritical?! How can you put down mothers who think they're perfect because you think they're putting down you? What they do has nothing to do with you and how you raise your children! What do you hope to accomplish with this? Everyone declaring and celebrating their lack of ,what I see as, ambition? Mediocrity? I strictly breastfed both of my children until just shy of 14 months, started solids at 6 months, rarely have the TV on, do a lot of the "by the book" recommendations (which are strictly that!) and follow our pediatrician's advice, but also my own instincts and my children are wonderful! They're smart and compassionate and well-behaved and definitely NOT robots! (wherever that remark came from.) There is no such thing as being a "perfect" mom it's about doing what you can, the best you can! I find it VERY hard to believe the best we can do as mothers is put our kids in front of the TV in a disgusting house with cracker crumbs ground into the floor with kool-aid stains! We all have our sob stories and we could all feel sorry for ourselves or blame others for doing better than us, which is what I feel this entire conversation has been about! I'm a fantastic mother, I don't judge you, but there's nothing to celebrate when what you're doing is less than you can!! Our children deserve better than mediocrity!!

Betsy - posted on 06/10/2009

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Quoting Melissa:

Not moms, do not always lie. I am proud of my child no matter when they walk my sex like is not back to normal I honestly just dont want it right now. My kids do not sleep through the night and honestly I enjoy that cuddle time,Every labour is differant and everyones pain tolerance is differant.I could go on and on but not all moms are competitve I am just happy there happy and health and there own little people, with there own ides, minds. I would rather share honest moments then false why take the time to speak and lie if your gonna lie about your kids just shut up! Then go sit down and think of why you have to lie why do you think they are not good enough? To me Charmaine negativity towards life in general just makes thing much harder




As for sex life, while loss of libido can result from hormone levels after giving birth and a true medical reason, it can also be attitude. You can have a great sex life after kids. I have so many friends who become moms and think of it as a chore or think it has to diminish after kids. Our sex life is at it's best with 5 kids. We make it a prtority in our lives, as other important things are. With a college student, tween and 3 toddlers in diapers, I see it as my reward after a long day. It's a great stress reliever and much healthier than Valium lol ;-P




 




Honestly I think this thread is immature. The term "perfect" comes from those calling others that, not the so-called "perfect moms." It is the same mentality when girls see a beautiful girl, and get nasty calling her "perfect" or "stuck-up" out of insecurity, trying to knock her down because of what they perceive, while in truth, she may be a very self-confident girl who doesn't dwell on her flaws, but she sees her nose is a bit crooked or a bit of cellulite. Rather than put the focus on bashing those YOU PERCEIVE as perfect, time would be better spent in being condifent and happy with your choices, improving things within yourself you maybe want to be better, etc., because you don't earn respect by xelebrating your own flaws while insulting another's good points. Plus having that reaction is not a healthy one, especially when raising daughters, who should have the example of appreciating another's successes and skills, while also appreciating their own. They shouldn't be taught to see effort and working towards success in any area as something to bash.  That isn't healthy for any child, but young girls seem to be more senstive to it, with negative results. As moms, it is our job to set a better example in those situations. This way just makes people look petty and jealous, and those are not the character traits we should hope to pass on to our daughters.




No mom has their first and is comfortable with everything on day one. Some find it more natural than others and some truly love it all, including the trying times, like everything else in life. I would classify myself in that category or I wouldn't still be having kids! Some are unsure, but soon get into their groove and figure it all out. Also with everything else we learn in life, we become more capable and confident in our skills the more we do anything, so no one can even expect a new mom with a 2 mo old to feel as confident with parenting as the experienced mom with 8 kids from age 3-30 or the grandma to 4, who already raised her 3 kids, who has actually lived it, but we all started out as that new mom. All here are in so many varying stages in their lives and in their inner growth and self-confidence, whether numeric age, life experience or emotional age (many factors determine each individual current stage in life), so this topic is honestly ridiculous.

Veronica - posted on 06/07/2009

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I know i get bitchy at a lot of the moms on here too -- my biggest problem are the moms who treat their little kids like adults - giving their babies decisions on what to eat, how things should be done - etc. I am by no means perfect, my kids do not rule the roost, they get spanked, and slapped in the mouth. I even tried soap once when they were saying words that were naughty" you want to speak filthy, im going to wash the filth out of your mouth" i didnt go extravagent or anything, just rubbed some bar soap across their teeth to give them a taste. Ive yelled and screamed at times. Ive thrown them in their rooms to spend time out in there and left them in there long enough. I dont always cook the perfect meals, there are times we just veg out on whatever there is, mac and cheese, or ran for fast food. My house is horribly messy! Toys everywhere, laundry and dishes get piled (i have 5 kids, its hard to keep up!!) Garbage spills over the can, the floor gets washed when i get the rest picked up, my bathroom stinks cause my boys' aim isnt the best! But then we work together and get it cleaned up -- its a process, and ongoing!! One day my house will be clean again, but until then my children are more important than that. (Not saying its never cleaned, just never spotless! ha!) Its reoccuring - I just scrubbed my carpet, by the next day they had red kool-aid (of all things!) spilled, i missed my 2year old bathroom time and she peed on the floor, and they crushed crackers into the carpet!! movies are good for a few weeks (or days) and then they have those broken/scratched - we have old furniture because it doesnt pay to get new - the couches are their jungle gym, trampoline, and fort (when they throw a blanket on it) my kitchen is their chemistry lab - when supper is done food is mixed in their cup (or cup contents on their plate) to mix and see what new taste it has - the kettles are their drumsets, and my 2 year old likes to see cereal or noodles dump out of the box all over the floor... The bathtub is a swimming pool, and splashing arena, the sink is the toys swimming pool - soap gets dumped to make bubbles, and the toilet gets plugged to see what can go down. my room is the exploration 'cavern' "Lets see what we can dig up in mom and dad's room" mommys makeup to do beauty, dad's shaving cream to create art, scissors for barber day, pencils to create a masterpiece on the walls. To get to the point - my children are having fun, they are learning things, they are exploring their world. Now, this sounds chaotic, but its not an everyday occurance, and we just clean it up together. They know how to use a broom and vacuum when needed. They've had to wash walls, and pickup. And anything dangerous is put out of harms way, and a watchful eye is kept. There are a lot of times of frustration, i get angry about certain things - but i have gotten over most of it. My kids are well-minded, and when we go to others' houses they are very respectful with asking for stuff, and cleaning up after themselves. Im always complimented about how well behaved they are (even though at home is a whole different story!) I breasfed, and formula fed. Feeding your child early isnt going to hurt them - i know a lot of mothers who's babies just needed that extra food, the milk just wastn enough either way. I know the difference bettween discipline and abuse - spanking is A-OK in my book - there is a fine line that you just dont cross. Time outs are used, and my biggest thing is talking to my kids allll the time! Im not perfect and neither are my kids - but i do the best that i can do -- im a stay at home mom, just me myself and my kids - my hubby puts in all day for work -- so you can ALMOST say that im a single mom - i have to do the best for my kids and myself.



Amanda Passmore - i give you a lot of credit and other mothers like you who have challanges with your children. I dont know if I could handle it - i know a mother who had a child that started 'perfect' but started detierating with MS and died a few years ago. I seen the struggles she went through, he had a wheelchair, couldnt walk or do anything for himself - she spent so much time to make sure she did everything for him, and took care of him to the best of her abillity, and i give her soo much credit for all that - i dont know if i couldve been strong enough. She had the hardest time when he left - and she still looks back over herself to reassure herself that she did her best. So I give you all the credit - and you too are a good mother.

Actions to benefit the mother, not the child.... I really dont feel that way - i know another woman who coddles her children, and doesnt spank anymore, when she did spank, she would right away grab her child and cry - her children walk all over her, and whiny, spoiled, and snotty (not saying this about every mother who doesnt spank, ok, there's a difference with disciplining your child, or letting them do what they want and being a wishy washy mom -- some moms have better luck without spanking - and doing timesoout -- not in my case) We as mothers do what is in the childs best interest - I am constantly thinking about what i need to do in a situation that will best teach, benefit, or discipline my children. I reward them when they have good behavior - by praise - (sometimes treats - but more praise) - and when bad behavior arises action is taken, and a lot of talking - why it was bad, what they can do next time - their future is in my hands - so of course im going to do things my way, but with their best interest at hand. I think we do obsess over what we do and dont do right - so that isnt really fair to say - and i think a huge problem in societies are teh damn 'studies, and doctors who think they know it all' they are the ones that cause issues - do what you know will work - if you're children are happy, healthy, safe and loved, then i think that deserves an A+ in parenting - period - no questions asked.



To all the mothers on here GREAT JOB!!!

[deleted account]

Wow, the lack of education and the plethora of insecurity in this group is ridiculous. I had to stop reading replies lest I get upset. Solids at 10 weeks, teen moms who can't even properly write in English, burgers and fast food, spanking under 2 years? WTF? I get angry too, but spanking doesn't teach a baby anything but fear. When they are older, maybe. Babies - NO! UGh. Some people disgust me. Messy houses are part of the mommy job description. As are sleepless nights and learning to deal with temper tantrums!

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Heather - posted on 11/29/2012

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i am not a perfect mum but i cant stand the ones that make it so easy when we all know its not that easy and they look so perfect 24/7 i hate that and they seem to smile 24/7

Andrea - posted on 06/30/2009

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Quoting Amanda:

hahaha oh boy, looks like someone has a bit of jealousy going on that she cant hold it together like some of us can . what did you think life with a baby would be like hun?
I read your rude post in the thread about moms who expect their babes to sleep throught he night and I for sure sense some huge jealousy and resentment.
FYI chicky boo, not one of use on here thinks we are perfect ok. Just because we read the books, and educated our selves and do the VERY BEST for our children does not mean we think we are perfect. All the sacrifices I have made for my children have been tough. keeping a perfect germ/dust free house to help my daughters allergies, waking every couple hours to make sure my failure to thrive baby eats, I happily do these things without whineing and bitching because I knew when I was pregnant that life with a baby wont be a bed of roses. each child is diferent, some are special needs like mine and need an immaculate house and are not allowed to sleep through the night. I think that the moms like me who are given these hard lives to live are envious of the moms with normal healthy children and get really pissed off when we read of moms with normal children taking the easy way out (spanking for the immidiate reasponse instead of time outs that may take longer but have less damaging effects, rice cereal in bottles to make them sleep, cio ect, all these actions are to benefit the mother not the child and they are harmful) we get mad about moms with these expectations because they are so selfish and only want what is best for themselves. tell me, if you had a special needs child would you not want to make sure you do EVERYTHING right.





My daughter was born almost 10 weeks early... I have done the 43 days in the NICU, I have done the worry about weight with the scheduled feedings, I have done the re hospitalizations, I have done the not doing the baby cereal, I have done the waiting to give solids, I have done the having to clean my house because my daughter can get infections easily, I have done not going out when it was RSV season, I have done PT when she didn’t' want to and I have also gotten mad when she was older and wouldn't sleep, I have done putting her down and walking away for a few mins, I have let her use a bouncer to calm her down, I have let her watch TV, I have let her eat fries and take out Chinese food. I have worried about her health and weight gain all the time. I do understand what it is like to have a special needs child but I do not do EVERYTHING right. I feel for you and wouldn't want any mother to deal with a child like ours My daughter has different needs and I take care of her needs as best I can. But just because mom's don't have a special needs child doesn’t not mean they are not doing everything wrong or they are selfish. I DO NOT get mad at moms who parent different then my way but I DO get mad at moms who say my way is wrong and you are selfish or lazy because you do things differently. I think the OP added this post because she or someone she knew was attacked via thread post. I am not perfect mom and I do want to do EVERYTHING right. But just because I look at things different doesn't mean me or someone else is wrong!!! I will say I do get jealous of other moms who have healthy babies and children but I don't take my jealousy out on them either. I cherish my daughter being with us everyday and would do anything for her.

Michelle - posted on 06/30/2009

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I think every mother is perfect... for their own child!! My house is always a mess, because to be frank I'd rather have a nap with my daughter then clean up!! Not everyday, but sometimes it's nice! I formula feed my little girl and I don't think it's wrong! As long as your doing the best job you can, who cares what the "perfect" people think?!

Jodi - posted on 06/30/2009

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My kids are now 17, 16, 14 and 13 - anybody who acts like they're the perfect mom is just that...an actor. No such thing as a perfect mom....other than the mom that loves her kids unconditionally.

Jodi - posted on 06/30/2009

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My kids are now 17, 16, 14 and 13 - anybody who acts like they're the perfect mom is just that...an actor. No such thing as a perfect mom....other than the mom that loves her kids unconditionally.

Sarah - posted on 06/30/2009

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These so called 'perfect' mums are probably putting on a front! A perfect mum in my opinion is one who loves their child/children unconditionally! My son frustrates me sometimes, which child doesnt frustrate their parents? My son is naughty occassionally and yes i do smack him but not too hard but hard enough for him to understand that if he's naughty again, he'll get exactly the same ! Discipline is the only way to control your children otherwise they are going to rule you, when you should be ruling them. Breast is best apparently, but what about mothers that cant breastfeed? I breastfed for a month and it killed me, my son made me bleed and i use to dread him waking up for snap! So he's been on formula milk since he was a month old and he's fine! He's such a happy chappy! Fair enough he picks up colds quite easily but i pick up things very easily and i was breastfed for 18 months! So it cant be because i didnt breastfeed him for long enough! Im a young mum and constantly get nasty looks from people but i dont care because i know i'm doing a good job! My son is always clean in morning until he gets his hands on his food, he's very happy, i let him make my rooms a mess with his toys, he's well behaved! So for these so called 'perfect' mums, ignore them, they think they are perfect but their children r probably missin out on what children should be doing! A child isnt a child unless they have dinner around their face, toys everywhere, throwin tantrums etc! Us 'normal' mums are the perfect mums!! Stuff those 'perfect' ones!

Misty - posted on 06/30/2009

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First,No way am I perfect! I never breastfed,my child does watch tv,but I am also that mother that makes sure the house is clean and I have never spanked my kid(I got the glare down to a T)and still got compliments on how well behaved my daughter is.I do tell people about my daughters accomplishments because I am very proud of her,she can get dirty with the best of them,but knows the right time to stay clean.I am not perfect but when you choose to be a homemaker thats your job,theres a difference in being a stay at home mom and just being lazy,

Gizelle - posted on 06/30/2009

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THANK YOU!!!!!!!!



I HATE "perfect" mums that make me feel like an absolute FAILURE

Shereen - posted on 06/28/2009

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Bec you are soooo right. I am totally with you I believe that a smack when required does not constitute abuse. and formula or breast is an individual decision and do not let anyone tell you different. and frustrated I have 7 kids I know where you are coming from on that one

Paula - posted on 06/25/2009

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yha get y there a lot of mum out there that think there perfect ??? im by no means but work blomming hard i have twin girls and one son , my mum still say she learning !! and is 74 yrs now has 4 daughters !!! it never easy been a mum or dad !! luv paula ;) x

Katherine - posted on 06/18/2009

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Here Here!!!! I actually believe that making all these statements does make us perfect Mums since it means we are human and have our own emotional limits. We are in the front lines with our children, we take care of them, look after them, and are the first to receive the attacks when they are upset. Having other parents/caregivers --and my personal pet peev 'non-parents'-- make judgments only makes us more upset and that truly isn't fair to us.

Christina - posted on 06/14/2009

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hun there are no perfect moms. i know im not. i just choose to do what is right for my kids at the time. sometimes it backfires and sometimes it dont. thats why its called live and learn.

Erin - posted on 06/14/2009

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oh thank god! another 1 just like me!lol!

it shit's me to tears! listening to all of these women in public & every where i seem to be talking about how freakin wonderful it is to be a mother!

i agree with you completly!

erin..........

Diana - posted on 06/14/2009

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You would have been my bff when my kids were small! I belonged to a play group and it didn't seem like anyone wanted a negative word uttered! Well, now I am a full time grandma and part time weekend nurse. My daughter works full time so I am raising a baby again! Not anymore perfect than the first time.

Diana - posted on 06/14/2009

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You would have been my bff when my kids were small! I belonged to a play group and it didn't seem like anyone wanted a negative word uttered! Well, now I am a full time grandma and part time weekend nurse. My daughter works full time so I am raising a baby again! Not anymore perfect than the first time.

Traci - posted on 06/14/2009

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Quoting Donna:

You know what I hate? When people say they LOVE being a mom! As if there isn't times it's not what it's cracked up to be. I love my kids but I'm not great at it, I don't love it, I do what I can and hope they turn out alright.



My kids drive me a little bonkers from time to time, but I cannot fathom ever saying I don't love being a mom.  Wow.  I don't even know how to respond to that one....



 



I, for one, ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE BEING A MOTHER.  It is the single most important job on the face of this earth.  That's just me, though :)

Traci - posted on 06/13/2009

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Quoting Ariel:

Lol, should I list all the ways I fail at perfection :)
My housekeeping policy is-- if isn't wet, sticky, or just nasty it can wait.
My discipline policy-- is it worth fighting about?...
I have thrown things, I have cried, I have bounced up and down screaming with my daughter when things were just too much for us to handle (it felt good too!).
I have pretended holidays didn't exist so I didn't have to make plans for them (my kid didn't know Easter was a holiday until kindergarten).
I have removed the tray from the high chair and forgotten she wasn't buckled in.
I have put her in the car seat and forgotten the car seat wasn't buckled in!
I have sent her to school in the same clothes she wore all weekend, assuming (smack forehead) that a 10 year old would have the good sense to change her clothes.
My daughter is overweight and watches too much TV...I am overweight and spend too much time on the computer.
I refuse to cook at least once a week, or just make a frozen dinner or mac and cheese.
Laundry only gets done when we run out, and cleaning only gets done when we have guests coming.
So yeah, not only an imperfect mother, but also an imperfect wife :D

(I haven't screwed up too bad with the second kid yet, but I have a lot more help this time around too.)



Please tell me this is all sarcasm....all that simply cannot be true.  I would hope not, at least!

Amanda - posted on 06/13/2009

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Quoting Catherine:



Quoting Melissa:




Quoting Guggie:






Actually, formula was originally created for orphans. The World Health Organisation lists formula last on the list of foods for babies. first the mom should try to nurse, then try to pump. then they should try for a wetnurse and if you can't find a wet nurse next you should get donated/bought human milk. if none of those options are available the WHO then recommends formula after checking with a doctor.










OMG - would you get over it alrady. i hate breast feeding nazies. formula is not poison it helps babies meet thier milstones quicker and more important FTT babies would die if it wasnt for formula. formula is more important then you realise do you know how many underweight babies there are out there. theres enough stupid people like you in the world who think breast is always breast so we hear it all the time i dont think we need to read about it in stupid internet stuff that probably isnt even true. who cares what you feed them milk is milk. mine is formula fed all the way has been since 2 weeks old and next will be formula fed to if i chose to express as well it will only be for a week or two to make sure the baby doesnt get constipation from it and to see what agrees with it









 






Actually a wet nurse sounds like a pretty good idea, somone else can feed my baby at night and I can benefit from the extra sleep, win win situation!






Wet Nurse Wanted:






Hungry 5 month old requiring fulltime wetnurse to provide 30-40ozs of breastmilk a day, no holidays or time off allowed, must be available 24 hours a day and at 5 minutes notice. Night shifts mandatory.  Will pay £50 a month.






Any takers??????????






thats funny! about what it would be like to. hahaha

Helen - posted on 06/13/2009

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I, too, am not a 'perfect mom'. Actually, I don't think the perfect mom exists. We all get frustrated with our kids. Me, more so lately, as she is 12 and entering puberty. If this child is not PMSing, I don't know who is. She started to talk back, and be generally obnoxious at times. I too, have smacked her on the butt a time or two. This past week, after grounding her, I threatened her with a talk with our pastor if she doesn't shape up. (I'll grasp at anything I can.) LOL I think the key thing to parenting is to be consistent. I never would've threatened a talk with the pastor if I knew I wouldn't follow through with it if necessary. And, Katie knew that. So far, the rest of this week-- ok. BTW-- I bottle fed both of my children too. Don't sweat it when you read about some who think they are perfect. I bet eventually, even they will say something to their kids that their parents said to them that they swore they would never say to their own kids.

Betsy - posted on 06/13/2009

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Quoting Donna:

You know what I hate? When people say they LOVE being a mom! As if there isn't times it's not what it's cracked up to be. I love my kids but I'm not great at it, I don't love it, I do what I can and hope they turn out alright.



So for those who actually do love it, should they lie and say they don't? Many people love careers, including parenting, that also include hard work. Some soldiers love being soldiers, though they aren't thrilled during dangerous events and risking injuries or death. Many doctor's love practicing medicine, though it's horrible to lose a patient and difficult to work insane hours. So why does it sound crazy that many moms love being moms, even though there are not so easy times that go with the joy? I know that's true for me. I wouldn't have 5 kids and want 3 more, if I didn't truly love it, good and not so good moments. The true love of it makes any job completely worth it, even when it tests you.

Donna - posted on 06/13/2009

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You know what I hate? When people say they LOVE being a mom! As if there isn't times it's not what it's cracked up to be. I love my kids but I'm not great at it, I don't love it, I do what I can and hope they turn out alright.

Donna - posted on 06/13/2009

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You know what I hate? When people say they LOVE being a mom! As if there isn't times it's not what it's cracked up to be. I love my kids but I'm not great at it, I don't love it, I do what I can and hope they turn out alright.

Kat - posted on 06/13/2009

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There is no such thing as the perfect Mom! We do the best we can. As long as we love and care for our children and look out for their best interest and protect them. It is not the easiest job but it is the best job we will ever have.

[deleted account]

My 2 year old get her butt smacked (even just once works most of the time) and we expect her to act a certain way. I know we aren't perfect but no one is. I breastfed for 4 months and then she stopped breastfeeding. I felt bad at first but it was also kinda nice to have others help me out with feeding her. Everyone has their own parenting style. what's right and what's wrong is all in how you feel. Although beating and neglect are never good things.

[deleted account]

Quoting Nicola:

if breast feeding was best and they advise not to give artiffical milk why make it.... altho i do not belive in smacking but a tap on the hand or the bottom as a child is still fragile no body is the perfect mum no one in the world not even the experts cos even tjhey come up with different stuff like when i had my daughter it was ok to feed them jars at 3 mnth but now its 6 month


Then why when I was in hospital (after giving birth at 37wks+1day) with severly inverted nippels which prevented me from breastfeeding, why did the nurses offer to feed my son a bottle of formula since I hadn't expressed that day? I mean hey, there were plenty of breastfeeding Mums down in the NICU that day, they could have said "why don't you just pop your son on one of the other mum's boobs so he can get real milk? I also had some nurses joking with me telling me the night I had my son that I had enough milk on my to feed all the babies in the hospital that night. From what I understand a mother's milk is specially designed for the mother's baby.



Here in New Zealand we have cereal brand called Farrex (made by Heinz), the baby cereal starts at 4 months.



There is no such thing as being a perfect parent, we raise our kids to the best of our abilities, give them the best possible start to life, love them and protect them, feed them, cloth them, give disapline when needed and we shouldn't be judged on that.

Meegan - posted on 06/13/2009

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Well i must be a really bad mum because i didnt even try to breast feed, i had no inclination at all, just wasnt me, and you know all three of my kids were and still are completely healthy, as for the smacking i gave my eldest a smack on the butt when he was young in the super- market, when all else failed to stop the tantrum, and these to older women said to each other, loud enough for me to hear " these young girls just shouldnt have children they just cant handle them," i couldnt beleive it, your child your right to choose how to deal with bad behaivour.

Neshamah - posted on 06/12/2009

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"Not being perfect" is not a good enough excuse to hit your child. No one's perfect but we should give our children the best when it comes to 'teaching' and not punish them for being on this earth and not yet knowing how it all works. Hitting only teaches your child that hitting is ok.

No one's perfect. We all know it. Even those who look like the perfect ones are maybe looking at you thinking you're the perfect one. Quit worrying about it and enjoy you're children. Also make sure you take a break once in awhile for yourself.

Ilona - posted on 06/12/2009

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Maybe we should create a group-UnPerfect Mums. Yes, I have feed my kids chips for breakfast before. I don't care if my kids have dirty faces and their clothes don't match all the time. My kids have been spanked. They have heard a lot of cussing in their short lives. But they are good kids who know the difference between right and wrong, and I don't think I need to give them an unrealistic idea of what a mom is. A mom is a person just like everyone else, and we make mistakes. We get mad, we have flaws. We are lazy a lot. No I wasn't able to breast feed either but I gave it a damn good shot. At least they didn't starve! My kids know love and life and that's all that's important! So to all those mom's who tell their SCREAMING fit throwing children in the store."Mommy would like it very much if you would please use your indoor voice"-just swat that childs rear-the rest of the world doesn't mind and if they do-oh well.

Betsy - posted on 06/12/2009

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I still find this thread hillarious. Perfect is subjective and individual. One person's perfect is not another's, as one's happiness and contentment isn't another's. Some people are immaculate with cleaning, by nature. Some hate clutter (I do), while some thrive in it and have what I would call orgainized clutter. Some are slobs by nature. It's called individuality. Some one may buy a small home they adore and feel is so perfect, while another might have a 15k s.f. mansion they find to be perfection. People live different lives. If you are going to waste time measuring your life by another human beings, you have a long road ahead of you. If you are going to criticize someone you deem as "perfect", all you are doing is wasting your precious free time to do so and live with bitterness. All you can do is find happiness, pride and contentment in you, your own life, and family. The rest is just immature cattiness that is only wasting minutes of your life, and your life is too precious for that. Stop criticizing perfect and those you deem as perfect and find your perfect. It's a better use of time.

Maite - posted on 06/12/2009

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Kudos to you. It is the most difficult job in the world to be a mother and I can't imaging doing it at your age. I do know of very successful and well adjusted adults that were raised by teenaged parents and it looks like you're on your way to raising a great child!

Chantel - posted on 06/12/2009

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Quoting Martha:

I think you're all ridiculous. Of course I'm perfect and so are my children.

I gave birth at home with no medical intervention or medication. (That was my first child. My subsequent children were delivered at Elizabeth Arden where I went to have a facial and manicure. Needless to say, my make-up remained intact.)

I breastfed them until they were old enough to prepare meals for the entire family.

They never watched television but now they are making feature films (when they aren't writing novels and composing symphonies.)

They never required spanking, merely reprimanding when they failed to use the correct modifiers for their verbs.

My house is immaculate, I am a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, and my husband and I have sex constantly.

I will soon be the star of a reality television show featuring my perfect and extraordinary family for which we will be paid a six figure salary.

Boy, am I tired of all you whiners.


HAHAHA!!! Thats hilarious:) Whats your show called? I gotta see it;)

[deleted account]

Someone sounds a bit insecure. I say, do what works best in spite of a different opinion on parenting. Stop caring how other people feel and what they say and have some confidence in yourself. Otherwise, you are inadvertently teaching your children to be insecure.

SHAWNTRECE - posted on 06/12/2009

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I AGREE IM NOT PERFECT BUT I DAMNSURE DO THE BEST THAT I CAN NO ONE IS PERFECT IF THEY SAY THEY NEVER GET MAD OR FRUSTRATED THEIR LYING TRUST ME

[deleted account]

Anyone who thinks they are a perfect Mom doesn't have teenagers. I have 4 great kids one who I already experienced teen years with and two more on their way too. My son as great a kid as he was and is broke my heart a couple times. I received some great advice from a friend who had already been through the teen faze. She said don't ever take anything personal that they say to you and that one day as long as you keep loving them that child will come back to you and love you like they did when they were little. It was true! The one thing I have told all my children is, I am Mom not God and I too make mistakes. I believe my children have a lot more respect for me knowing that I don't think I am without fault. All parents make mistakes... it is a learn as you go process. Every child is different and nobody knows your child the way you do. So their approach may work for their kids but maybe it wouldn't work for yours.

Martha - posted on 06/12/2009

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I think you're all ridiculous. Of course I'm perfect and so are my children.



I gave birth at home with no medical intervention or medication. (That was my first child. My subsequent children were delivered at Elizabeth Arden where I went to have a facial and manicure. Needless to say, my make-up remained intact.)



I breastfed them until they were old enough to prepare meals for the entire family.



They never watched television but now they are making feature films (when they aren't writing novels and composing symphonies.)



They never required spanking, merely reprimanding when they failed to use the correct modifiers for their verbs.



My house is immaculate, I am a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, and my husband and I have sex constantly.



I will soon be the star of a reality television show featuring my perfect and extraordinary family for which we will be paid a six figure salary.



Boy, am I tired of all you whiners.

Jackie - posted on 06/12/2009

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Post a reply! II am ritght there with you, like butter would not melt, Oh i never smack my children. Oh my jason eats spinach, or Tilly absolutely adores kiwi, you just want to slap them, end of. xxx

Jenny - posted on 06/12/2009

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You go girl's as a 43yr old mum of two and now a grandmum of 1 with 2 more on way. I felt like I couldn't live upto other's expectations, I was a young mum and that in itself was frowned upon. It caused me to become a depressed anorexic mess which nearly killed me but then I had the revelation of just being me and being able to do what I knew was good for me and my kids, and now they both happily married having kids of their own and are a big part of my life and still come home and want to hang out with mum.

[deleted account]

I didnt know there was such a thing as a perfect mum??!!??



I dont believe you should want to be a perfect mum, as there should always be room for improvement. If your children have a roof over their head, are loved, fed, warm and happy thats all that matters. These women that believe they are perfect mums are probably their own worst enemy as they put unrealistic standards on their efforts that they can never achieve and in the end they miss out on the relationship with their child cause they are too busy trying to look great. I have 3 kids, one is on the Autism spectrum, I do my best for them but I'm sure its not "perfect". But then....who is the ultimate judge?? The child I think.

[deleted account]

I agree, Im a young mum myself, when I had my 19 month old daughter I could not breatfeed because my daughter split my nipple inhalf because she couldn't latch properely, So I formula fed but still people look down apon me, kid's go from the baby toddler to chilhood stages every step learning new things and they just want's to get into everything and explore they are bound to get into mischeif and be naughty! It is ok to smack your children if they are naughty you are the parent you make that deciscion no one else has the right to stick there nose in.What the law doesn't believe in is belting your children and I'm sure a majority of you agree, I hate it when people stick their nose up at the way another mum disciplines there child because it doesn't meet their believe's or it's not the same way they do it. Or it's not ok because they have motherhood experience so they no better and no it all. Well Im a very strict mum I didn't grow up with a mum myself, I only had my father who was a very tough, strict man to get on with so I go by the experience and guidence that I was given by him.



I think all you so called perfect mum's ot there should worry about your own kid's not anyone else's, your not working hard enough if you have time to give Perfect Mummy Parent Lesson's, and you don't know why mother's parent they way they choose and every parent is different rememeber we go by what we have learn't ourselves, So you can all step down from your royal thrownes, your advice isn't wanted.

Jane - posted on 06/12/2009

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Go to www.loveandlogic.com. For teens - I recommend: Shaping self-concept and Hormones and wheels. All of the stuff is good and you might be able to find some material at your library.

Francesca - posted on 06/12/2009

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Sarah who would ever criticize you for the spelling of your babies name?? thats pathetic!!!

Sarah - posted on 06/12/2009

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I would like to pount out that just because we bottle fed doesnt mean we are bad parents... some babies just dont latch I had this one mom tell me I mean actually yell at me cuz I didnt wanna make my own baby food for thoughs moms that have enough hours in the day thats great but I barely find time to take a shower. by the time my daughter is in bed I'm to tired to even lift my head. then there was one that critisized the spelling of my daughters name it made me so mad...

[deleted account]

No one is perfect in my opinion!!!! I could only BF for so long until my milk dried up, my kids are perfectly fine ;) Yes, a naughty child deserves a smack, I didn't say a beat-down I said a smack!!! That's what is wrong with a lot of kids these days, they don't get the discipline that we got a children. I'm going to stop there b/c I could type forever on this topic.

[deleted account]

No one is perfect in my opinion!!!! I could only BF for so long until my milk dried up, my kids are perfectly fine ;) Yes, a naughty child deserves a smack, I didn't say a beat-down I said a smack!!! That's what is wrong with a lot of kids these days, they don't get the discipline that we got a children. I'm going to stop there b/c I could type forever on this topic.

Rebekah - posted on 06/12/2009

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I am no perfect mum. I now use formula. I let them cry at night to see if they re-settle before I will get up to them. What else... :) Oh they weren't sleeping through at 8 weeks like "they should be if you're parenting right". LOL

[deleted account]

Quoting Melissa:



Quoting Guggie:





Actually, formula was originally created for orphans. The World Health Organisation lists formula last on the list of foods for babies. first the mom should try to nurse, then try to pump. then they should try for a wetnurse and if you can't find a wet nurse next you should get donated/bought human milk. if none of those options are available the WHO then recommends formula after checking with a doctor.






OMG - would you get over it alrady. i hate breast feeding nazies. formula is not poison it helps babies meet thier milstones quicker and more important FTT babies would die if it wasnt for formula. formula is more important then you realise do you know how many underweight babies there are out there. theres enough stupid people like you in the world who think breast is always breast so we hear it all the time i dont think we need to read about it in stupid internet stuff that probably isnt even true. who cares what you feed them milk is milk. mine is formula fed all the way has been since 2 weeks old and next will be formula fed to if i chose to express as well it will only be for a week or two to make sure the baby doesnt get constipation from it and to see what agrees with it





 



Actually a wet nurse sounds like a pretty good idea, somone else can feed my baby at night and I can benefit from the extra sleep, win win situation!



Wet Nurse Wanted:



Hungry 5 month old requiring fulltime wetnurse to provide 30-40ozs of breastmilk a day, no holidays or time off allowed, must be available 24 hours a day and at 5 minutes notice. Night shifts mandatory.  Will pay £50 a month.



Any takers??????????

[deleted account]

There is no such thing as the perfect Mum. You do what you have to do to keep your kids healthy, happy and on the right path to adulthood. The perfect Mum is purely myth.

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