Career Mom Turned Stay At Home Mom

Ashley - posted on 11/18/2009

im not sure there is anyway to break this its a stage my son who is now 19 an a half months used to do the same thing when he was about 7 months old i would go to the rest room an shut the door an my son would sit my the door screaming an crying like i was never coming back, i think by 10 or eleven months it gets better, as long as you no he is safe he will be ok,although he might not think so

Karla - posted on 11/18/2009

Well, I know it's tough! I went through a similar situation with my 19 month old. I'm a registered nurse and work long hours while my husband stay home with our toddler. So, she was with Daddy very often. So, she would scream and cry when he would leave the house or even put her down! It was difficult for him because he had trouble getting things done while I was at work. So, on my days off, it would be "me and baby time". I would purposely leave the house to let my husband rest while we spent time together and bonded. This is to let her know that she is loved and cared for just as much by mommy as she is with daddy, and to give her a sense of security. So, if there is another parent figure present, this would be great to try. Ultimately, what you are going to have to do is not pick him up every time he would cry for you. I know it's painful to do, but it may get worse if you continue doing the same routine. Express to him that it's okay to play on his own but make sure he is aware that you are nearby by frequently checking on him if you are not in direct sight, but try your best not to pick him up. Just remember, make sure you keep him in a safe and secure environment because this is how "HE FEELS" when he is in you arms! Best of luck!

Karen - posted on 11/18/2009

Hi Amber, it sounds like it is hard work- even though you are really enjoying spending time with him having fun and learning together. Unfortunately all babies ( more specifically boys!!) go through a stage of wanting mum all the time, it is normal..... upsetting,irritating at times, but normal. it is not a reflection of you having been in work or your parenting style. He just wants to make sure you are there, playing peep-po and extending the time before you come back to reasure him you are coming back will help as will not picking him up straight away when you come back in even though he is crying talk to him and reasure him. Then if he doesn't settle pick him up, he needs to understand you haven't dissapeared. It does work i promise!! popping out the door for a few seconds and a building up works. but there is nothing wrong in taking him with you to other parts of the house to do certain things like changing beds, showering etc. at least you know they are not eating the cat!! and it means you get some peace.

Shari - posted on 11/18/2009

all you can do is let him cry when you can not hold him. i know that this is hard to do and is heartbreaking. after i had my daughter, i got called back to work early, 4 weeks, and then was working up to 20 hrs a day, at least once a week. when my daughter was 6 months old, i was laid off, and she was the same way, i gave in and every time she would cry i would run over to her and pick her up. She will three in february, and i still can't even so much as go to the bathroom, or take a shower without her coming in there. my point is if you give in now, it may take a very long time to break. i tried to go back to work just after her second birthday, and it was to tramatizing to her, she would get so upset that she would make herself sick. so if your can bear it, try and just let him cry for a little bit, and do what you need to do and then go pick him up and comfort him, and eventually he will see that you are always going to come back and pick him up.

hope this was helpful. this is what i was always told to do with my daughter, i just didn't listen until it was to late.