Amber - posted on 05/21/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )
So, I'm still dealing with high, very dangerous, amounts of stress when it comes to my baby's father. When he originally left, I still wanted him a part of the pregnancy. Be at the doctor appointments, etc...but, after talking to some people, and most of them saying I can't force him to be there, I let it go. I stopped asking for him to be there for even just doctor appointments even though I still hoped he would.
The time came where he claimed to want to be there. Got upset that his girlfriend was invited to go but he knew nothing about it. The way I saw it was, if he was so interested in being at the doctor appointments, then why hadn't he called and asked when the first 2 were, even though I know he knew? So, even though at this point, I no longer wanted him a part of any of this, I ended up letting him go anyway, and it turned into this huge tension filled day.
I put my foot down the other night, and made it clear that he was not getting a say about anything to do with my pregnancy, or what happens once the baby is born until the paternity test he wants is cleared. He called me up screaming and yelling at me saying that my opinion doesn't matter,etc, just adding so much more stress. Anytime he's around, I end up with horrible stomach cramps, thrown into a panic attack, and crying for hours and sick.
I finally told him that I'm moving back to the other side of the river and I no longer wanted him at any of the doctor appointments, and that I wanted no contact from him until after the baby was born. That I can't keep taking his crap and the stress is not good on the baby and is putting it in danger, and it's causing my health to turn too. Am I in the wrong for telling him this? I never said he couldn't be a part of the childs life once it's born, I just no longer want him around or in contact with me until then.