Child father is trying to get full custody of my daughter because he don't want her to leave the state. We have never been married and I don't collect child support from him. I allowed him visitation which he didn't take advantage of most the time. I also have filed police reports before on him for domestic violence.

Sarah - posted on 07/25/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Child father is trying to get full custody of my daughter because he don't want her to leave the state. We have never been married and I don't collect child support from him. I allowed him visitation which he didn't take advantage of most the time. I also have filed police reports before on him for domestic violence.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/30/2011

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I agree with everyone. Get a lawyer ASAP...then sue the fucker for child support when he loses his case.

Bev - posted on 08/02/2011

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I agree - get a lawyer first....but most states will not allow you to leave the state as they support children knowing both parents....and I know first hand that violence against you does not mean he will not get visitation...be very sure if you play the violence card (and I am not discounting this as I was a battered spouse) that you were not violent, drinking, on drugs etc as it can backfire...the fact is he has visited his child whether it was a lot or not....get a lawyer NOW and get this set up legally - if he is on the birth certificate he has the right to see/have the child....good luck to you

Kelly - posted on 08/01/2011

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talk to an attorney. Nothing at this time is set up by the courts. Is he on the birth ceritficte?? If not, you can do anything you want. Keep a log of everything, dates he says he coming for visitation, if he shows up or not. What he says to you. Does he buy the child anything??? Help you with anything?? Get copies of the police reports. Did the domestic violence happen in front of the child?? Let him know if he takes this to court you will go after him for child support. The child has been with you all this time. I think you will be ok. Dont let him bully you, stand your ground. Is moving bettering the family?? If it is, thats a plus.

[deleted account]

Amy - Holly is right on with what she is advising you to do. I don't think very many Moms will advise you differently.
It sounds as if it is just a simple stunt to try and control you at this point.
To add to the free/cheap legal services - you could also look for one under "Attorney for Battered Women".
Good luck and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask! :)

[deleted account]

1. Get a lawyer. If you don't have a lot of money, go to the courthouse and ask about free or cheap legal services in your area (a lot of courts have programs for free or greatly reduced rates).

2. Let him take you to court. It sounds like his argument is a joke and I don't think any judge would award him custody unless you're a drug addict or something (seriously, the mother has to be VERY wrong to get custody taken away - it's crazy). Most likely, the courts will order a DNA test (which is usually paid for by the father) and then, once the results come back, they will rule on visitation and child support. Most times, the courts will order either supervised visitations (paid for by the person with the visitation - in this case the father) or visitations for a few hours at a time. I would guess in your case they would go for supervised because of the past history of domestic violence (good job getting police reports, by the way).

All-in-all, I don't think you have anything to worry about. BUT, still get a lawyer (it's always good to have someone who knows the lingo and such on your side) and let him take you to court. Tell him that if he iles you're going to go after full child support (including back support from the time your daughter was born) and maybe that will stop him from filing... I wish you the best of luck!

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Number one, speak to a lawyer number two, If there is any evidence in the police reports of the domestic violence? Such as bruises, cuts? If this is also included in the report taken by the officer-WHEN you do finalize all this in court, the judge will look at all these factors keeping the child away from him even though the abuse happend to you. If he does not pay child support,all you need to do is go through your local CPS office and If you happen to apply for additional assistance such as (Foodstamps TANF daycare healthcare) They will make you file for it,and locate,serve and give the court date..The process is very worth it..Some views on the fathers rights are mixed so really speaking to an attorney in family law will be able to direct you on your states custody and visitation rights..Speaking of the domestic violence, there are so many references,hot lines-Some don't look at it as added help..But it sure is! If you do not feel safe, If he has threatened you further about you or your daughter- There are domestic abuse shelters(houses) You can go to free of charge with your child..You would be given a "victims advocate" who would work on your case..The benefit of these shelters ( WHen I say shelter, it's not a homeless shelter) is they are shelters where you would not expect it too look like one..Some have a policies where you cannot have contact on the phone, no computers for your daughters and yours..IF he were to request seeing you or your daughter OR have a family member call you-They would not be allowed the information on where you or your daughter are...There are so many outlets I hope this helps! Stay strong :-)

Britt - posted on 07/30/2011

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Sounds like if he isnt on the birthdcertificate Paternity will need to be established, then visitation will get set up and custody!
I know you can always can info to get information on your local county's legal aide services started. Its hard to get on to at least in FL.
Best of luck-Sarah

Chavon - posted on 07/30/2011

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I would research your state laws on this. In Michigan, if the father is on child support he has the right to deny that child from leaving the state, but since he doesnt pay anything im not sure what could happen. I would talk to an attorney

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