Children being left in cars to bake

[deleted account] ( 69 moms have responded )

I just heard another story about someone leaving their child in the car and the child dying of heat stroke. Once again, the parent was supposed to drop the child off at day care, forgot and never thought of it until time to pick the child up. What are your thoughts on this topic? I have several kids and yet I've somehow managed to not forget about any of them FOR AN ENTIRE DAY. Am I the only heartless b*tch who thinks that parents should be prosecuted for that? I know families who have 10 children and who still manage to keep track of all of them. I don't understand the mindset of a parent who can forget to take their child to daycare and then not think about them until the end of the day. I mean, we all make mistakes. I left my son in the car and managed to walk all the way into Target with my 3 girls before I realized I didn't have him (a sum total of about 1 minute). I've forgotten to go pick up my girls at activities and shown up a half hour late. Most moms I know don't go 15 minutes without thinking about their kids, working or not. My own husband might forget to drop them off at daycare. We don't do daycare so I've never had to test the theory, but I know based on other things he's forgotten about that in maybe a half hour, 45 minutes he'd be thinking, "Hmm... I don't actually remember dropping the child off... OH CRAP!" No way would he go through his entire work day and the thought never occur to him. Do you think this indicates an attitude that the parents have, i.e. that their child is just another checkbox on their list and once they check it, it's totally out of their thoughts? Or do you see how this could happen and just feel bad for the parents that they lost their child?

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Susan - posted on 06/16/2009

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Knowing a lady who did this, I feel I can make a comment here. She and her husband had one child who was about three, and a baby of about six months. She went back to work and each child went to a different day care. Dad took the older one she took the younger one. The third day she left him in the car and he died. They were both devestated, she was proscecuted and had to do a public service announcement about leaving kids in cars and do jail time. She loved that little one and he WAS a doll baby, I'm not sure she ever got over it. They now have a little girl and she and the older child are loved and cared for beyond believe. What good would it have done to take her away from her husband and child? Then you would have two children with ruined lives.



Moms who leave their kids in the cars to drink, get high, gamble etc...those moms should be fixed and never allowed to have another child. Any they have should be taken away. One thing to remember dads do this too, and one here did not get prosecuted. It was ruled an accident...so was it because he was a dad and not a mom??

?? - posted on 06/14/2009

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I can understand it and I can't. Especially if, say for instance; the mother drops kiddo off at daycare everyday and father has a very busy career - then, one day, randomly, mom says "Drop baby off at daycare" to the dad and he gets on the phone in the car and gets caught up and just goes about his day as he always does - afterall he never has to go to daycare or think about the kid during the day, ESPECIALLY if he does have a very busy day. Does that excuse him for forgetting the kid - no. But I can definitely understand where he's coming from.



I know my boyfriend could very easily get caught up in his work and not think of us until well into the day - definitely long enough for a baby to die of heatstroke in the car. We don't bring Gabriel to daycare and I don't think Devon would ever forget our son, but it's not impossible.



Should a parent be prosecuted for something like that......... I think it depends on the situation. I know this is going to sound really bad and you can judge me all you like....... but not every single parents' life revolves around their kid. It doesn't mean they don't love their child or take care of their child, but a lot of families, both parents work full time, busy, and often difficult jobs and everyone can get caught up in the hustle and bustle of their jobs.



If she's a stay at home mom, and she just ran into the store and left her kid in the car...... then yes, definitely, that bitch needs to pay. But a mom/dad who never has to think of droppin her/his kid off at daycare and/or gets caught up in work on the way to work... I think the mistake is punishment enough.



As for having other kids taken away from them... depends on the situation again. Stay at home mom who just leaves kid in the car = unfit mother, she shouldn't have children in her care. Mom/Dad that works fulltime heavy load worklife - no, chances are they will be A LOT more careful with the other children after a mistake that cost them a child.



I don't drive and my son doesn't go to daycare so I don't know what I would do in the situation. I'm sure fathers don't think of the children as much as mothers do, but I wouldn't put it past any parent to get caught up in work enough to forget their children in the car for a long enough time that they die from heat stroke. An early meeting that runs for 3-4 hours after being awake all night with a cranky baby can be busy enough / mind consuming enough / long enough for baby to die if forgotten.



I'm honestly surprised there isn't MORE incidents. We can call people stupid or negligent all we want, but then if they were to give up their careers, lose that income, not be able to afford the daycare and not have the mind frame to be a stay at home mom/dad... worse things could happen and we'd be bitching about those kind of parents. So lose lose.



I think the parents that end up forgetting their children are in extreme situations it's an extreme situation either way - negligent parent or hard working parent and it depends on the situation as to whether they should be prosecuted or not. Do I feel bad for the parents? Absolutely. But I don't/won't/can't feel bad for any bad mom who leaves her kid in a car to go into a store, I feel bad for that baby and the family of that baby, but not the mom.

Sabrina - posted on 06/13/2009

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I live in FL and it hapens here alot too. I dont care how much is going on I could never do that. And like earlier mentioned I think the ones who do it on purpose is the worst. And the excuses are never ending. I have six kids and dont care how much of bother poeple think it is my kids go with me. I felt horrible the time I accidentally locked the doors with my first son in the car. I was loading groceries and since it gets very hot here I had started the car and put him in his carseat. But I had forgotten about the doors locking automatically. And shut the door. I had to call a family member to come and unlock the door. But the ac was on high and he was fine. I stayed with him the whole time. But I felt bad. But to actually forget my kid is in the car and leave them there to die is dispicable. I think they should be punished. When I was working at walmart we had a lady come to us at the service desk to call the cops cause there was a baby locked in a car crying. Turns out it was some crack head who didnt want to lift him. He was sleeping and she has a bad back. It was like 10 pm. She should have left him at home so he could sleep in his bed. But after it was all over she got a court hearing notice. And when she was leaving to go to her car she asked for help. So I couldnt resist me and my big mouth. I gave her an earful. I just wanted to slap her but I couldnt go that far. I did want to keep my job.

Krista - posted on 06/13/2009

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Every parent makes mistakes, and it's easy to sit back and judge when none of your mistakes have resulted in such tragedy. Obviously, knowingly leaving a child in a car while you shop, get your nails done, or gamble is beyond comprehensible and those parents should be prosecuted. However, I think that there are cases where good, responsible parents can have a series of events that can lead to a child being forgotten. I remember watching Oprah a year or two ago and a woman was telling her story of how her daughter died. The mom was a principal and it was the first day of work, in late August. It was normally Dad's job to drop the oldest at school and the youngest at daycare, but he had an appointment so it was left to Mom. She dropped off the oldest, and then realized it was still too early to drop off the baby at daycare. She decided to pick up donuts and coffee for her staff with her extra time, and then proceeded to head to work. With the stress of the first day of work and with the break in routine, she forgot her daughter was in the vehicle and her body was found at the end of the work day. I completely have sympathy for this woman after seeing her story and seeing the pain she was in. She lost her job and was unable to get a new job as an educator, and was forced to move from her community because of how harshly everyone judged her. I think that this is something that could happen to anyone and it scares me to death...I've had several nightmares about forgetting my son somewhere, although it's never happened. We're all great at judging others...I think it makes us feel like we're better to say that things like this could never happen to us. You never know until they do.

Savannah - posted on 06/12/2009

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I feel bad for the parents, of course, because they will never outlive the horrible thing they have done. For most parents, losing a child is the worst thing imaginable. However, on the flip side, of COURSE they should go to prison! I think about my kids all the time. Even when we go to church and leave them in the nursery (which is right in the next room) I'm still thinking about them and wondering if they are okay and trying to listen over the sermon to hear if they are crying. So I don't at all understand how it could happen. It makes no sense to me. So while I feel bad for the parents loss, I feel even more horrible for a poor child left to die a miserable death in a car. I hate stories like that. They definitely send the anger sharks swimming. And yet, it happens all too often, though I can't understand how. Poor little kiddo.

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Annabelle - posted on 09/14/2013

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Before condemning parents who have lost children this way and before saying, "it would never happen to me"...DON"T!

It can happen to ANYONE and it does. The truth is we all think it couldn't possibly happen to us, but it can. Our minds can play tricks on us. Fully 52% of these accidents happened because of LAST MINUTE scheduling changes with parents and caregivers!

There have already been 37 deaths caused by heatstroke and it's only September. The youngest was a 2 month old infant; the oldest was 4 yrs. old. Every one of these deaths are tragic and unnecessary.

In an effort to help parents, there is a brand new product being launched to help parents and caregivers remember to double check and to look before locking. It fits on the steering wheel on any vehicle with a reminder message. It costs less than a fancy cup of coffee. Information can be found here www.reminderwrapster.com

Amber - posted on 06/16/2009

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Quoting Heather:

I don't think that all of the parents do it on purpose. Although it is very unfortunate, I think that there are cases that it is truly an accident. Leaving the kids alone to go gamble, or home alone is one thing, but to have your routine thrown off, is completely another. I think that as parents we are all so busy, that life kind of gets in the way. We don't know any of these people, and what they are going through. We all like to say that we would never do that, but truth is, we hope that we never do that. Who are any of us to judge these parents who truly made a mistake, that cost them their child's lives? Instead of judging, why not find a solution to this problem, so that no other child will have to suffer like this?



Thank you! I was reading through the other posts and wondering how no one could find their compassion. The death of a child under any circumstances is horrible! But all the judging seemed really unfair to me. Most parents I know don't think they'd ever let that happen but do you think any of the parents who've done this accidentally ever thought that they would? I'm guessing no! It's easy to judge when you have no idea what the experience must be like, we all make mistakes, most of the time we're lucky and they're harmless ones, but not everyone is so lucky. I can't imagine how much time a parent that has made this mistake spends wondering how in the hell they let that happen, that thought must replay over and over again. One person on this thread said that the loss of the child wasn't punishment enough, it shocked me! Considering that the loss of a child is psychologically the worst thing that can happen to a person, I wonder what someone like that would suggest? The general attitude seems to be that these parents have gotten away with something, which is ridiculous, there are no winners here, it is an awful situation in which a child is dead and parents must live with that for the rest of their lives! I can't imagine worse!

Amber - posted on 06/16/2009

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Quoting Heather:

I don't think that all of the parents do it on purpose. Although it is very unfortunate, I think that there are cases that it is truly an accident. Leaving the kids alone to go gamble, or home alone is one thing, but to have your routine thrown off, is completely another. I think that as parents we are all so busy, that life kind of gets in the way. We don't know any of these people, and what they are going through. We all like to say that we would never do that, but truth is, we hope that we never do that. Who are any of us to judge these parents who truly made a mistake, that cost them their child's lives? Instead of judging, why not find a solution to this problem, so that no other child will have to suffer like this?



Thank you! I was reading through the other posts and wondering how no one could find their compassion. The death of a child under any circumstances is horrible! But all the judging seemed really unfair to me. Most parents I know don't think they'd ever let that happen but do you think any of the parents who've done this accidentally ever thought that they would? I'm guessing no! It's easy to judge when you have no idea what the experience must be like, we all make mistakes, most of the time we're lucky and they're harmless ones, but not everyone is so lucky. I can't imagine how much time a parent that has made this mistake spends wondering how in the hell they let that happen, that thought must replay over and over again. One person on this thread said that the loss of the child wasn't punishment enough, it shocked me! Considering that the loss of a child is psychologically the worst thing that can happen to a person, I wonder what someone like that would suggest? The general attitude seems to be that these parents have gotten away with something, which is ridiculous, there are no winners here, it is an awful situation in which a child is dead and parents must live with that for the rest of their lives! I can't imagine worse!

Amber - posted on 06/16/2009

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I think it's a hard call really. I personally do not see myself or my husband forgetting our daughter in a car, but all people and situations are different. It's happened in my community a few times, once the parent said they were really sleep deprived, the baby was only a few months old and hadn't been sleeping well. They were not prosecuted, but another case was a man that knowingly left his child in the car b/c he had no sitter, he claimed that he did not know it was a dangerous thing to do, that man was prosecuted. I think the decision about whether or not to prosecute should depend on whether it's believed the parents are neglegent. It's an appauling thing that should never happen, but in the case of parent that truly loves their child and never intended any harm, I think the loss of that child is punishment enough. Think of how much you love your own children, could any punishment someone else placed upon you be worse than the guilt you'd feel for the rest of your life?

[deleted account]

Quoting Catherine:

HOW????? How on earth do you forget your child? I forget my phone, my keys, my wallet, my handbag. I forget the bottle or the nappy bag. I forget the lunchbox and the schoolbag. But NEVER once have I forgotten my children, not for one minute. I wouldn't even leave my kids for two minutes alone in our house to walk to the postbox. I have no idea how anyone could forget for an entire day.YES they should be prosecuted. If they hit a child with a car because they were over tired or preoccupied with work we'd expect prosecution. Their negligance resulted in the death of a child. Thats manslaughter. I don't think them feeling guilty for the rest of their lives is punishment enough. If that makes me a heartless b*tch so be it.



i totally agree with you. you just don't forget your children,and for a whole day. that is unforgiveable. poor little souls. to have parents like that. some people don't deserve children,even animals.

Gwen - posted on 06/15/2009

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Tammy, I recently heard about this story too. I was heartbroken. How can a mom, of two kids, she has a 3 yr old I believe, not notice that she has a baby in the back seat of her car. Come on. I have a huge truck and would know if I had a 6mo old in the back seat or not. This is unreal to me. I have had 5 kids and one thing is for sure I would never forget about them, especially a baby. I feel for all involved, but am heartbroken that a person can forget the baby and not see it in the backseat of her own car. I can understand she thought her husband was bringing the child to daycare, but usually you call the husband to make sure he actually found his way. Also...did she ever say goodbye to her husband and her baby? She didn't even kiss the chile goodbye, if she would have she would have known the child was in the car when she went to say bye.

Sarah - posted on 06/15/2009

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i could never forget my kids. i hate it when you see parents leave there kids in the car then go into the shops. im lost when my kids are not with me.

Andrea - posted on 06/15/2009

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Quoting Chrissy:

I have the opposite problem - I keep talking to my daughter when she's not there! I can't imagine the mind set a parent would have to be in to "forget" their child. And to never even glance at the car seat. I think the worst punishment they receive is knowing that they were responsible for the death of their innocent baby. That being said, of course they should be punished by the law. As parents we can have our child taken away for anything that appears as neglect - and that's about as bad as neglect can get! It makes me sick thinking of what those children went through in their last hours....particularly with older kids who try to get out.



I have the same problem as you Chrissy.  When my husband has our daughter and I go out I look back and she isn't there I am like OMG where is she and it takes a sec or two to remember that she is with Daddy.  I also agree that the worst punishment I could imagain is knowing that they were resposible for the death of a innocent baby, but some ppl out there aren't like that and don't care...  they should be punished by the law, but ppl who leave their children there on purpuse should get harsher punishment. 



 

Andrea - posted on 06/15/2009

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Quoting Chrissy:

I have the opposite problem - I keep talking to my daughter when she's not there! I can't imagine the mind set a parent would have to be in to "forget" their child. And to never even glance at the car seat. I think the worst punishment they receive is knowing that they were responsible for the death of their innocent baby. That being said, of course they should be punished by the law. As parents we can have our child taken away for anything that appears as neglect - and that's about as bad as neglect can get! It makes me sick thinking of what those children went through in their last hours....particularly with older kids who try to get out.



I have the same problem as you Chrissy.  When my husband has our daughter and I go out I look back and she isn't there I am like OMG where is she and it takes a sec or two to remember that she is with Daddy.  I also agree that the worst punishment I could imagain is knowing that they were resposible for the death of a innocent baby, but some ppl out there aren't like that and don't care...  they should be punished by the law, but ppl who leave their children there on purpuse should get harsher punishment. 



 

Nerissa - posted on 06/15/2009

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how do u forget your kids. lets see u are lazy and should have never kids. and no i feel the parnets should be put in a car with no way and let them go threw what the kids did.

Guggie - posted on 06/15/2009

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Well, my thoughts are varied on this issue.



First, I think the media sensationalises these already tragic and gruesome stories for their own use. Let's see, thousands of children are injured or die from car accidents every year, most of them not restrained properly but we hardly ever hear an individual story on those. What about SIDS? It is number three on the top list of baby killers in the U.S. Autism is 1 in every 50 cases in some places in the U.S. Necrotitis is a leading killer of newborns. Where are all the individual blurbs on these issues?



I also think that it's awful hard to judge the parent in these cases. For example, didn't one of the cases last year involve a father who was so medicated (correctly by prescription) that he passed out?



That being said, I have to agree that the cases baffle me. Growing up the oldest of 11 kids, I think we forgot a kid one time. He was hanging out in the basement when we jumped in the car and left him...for about 5 minutes. We turned around and came back. He was what, 7 years old? Forgetting an infant? Seems very hard to do to me.

Heather - posted on 06/15/2009

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I don't think that all of the parents do it on purpose. Although it is very unfortunate, I think that there are cases that it is truly an accident. Leaving the kids alone to go gamble, or home alone is one thing, but to have your routine thrown off, is completely another. I think that as parents we are all so busy, that life kind of gets in the way. We don't know any of these people, and what they are going through. We all like to say that we would never do that, but truth is, we hope that we never do that. Who are any of us to judge these parents who truly made a mistake, that cost them their child's lives? Instead of judging, why not find a solution to this problem, so that no other child will have to suffer like this?

Kimi - posted on 06/14/2009

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I think it's murder and i'ts done on purpose. No one is that stupid. Anyone that forgetful wouldn't even have a job.

[deleted account]

I believe its should be life in prison...you gave birth to the child so how can you just get them! my kids always on my mind even when they are sleeping or if im away from them! they are always on my mind for matter what! I get freaked out my 5 yr old starts school! I just dont understand why they would leave them in the car.. if you didnt want to take them out then get a babysitter! HELLO!



People are getting really stupid these days!!

Tierney - posted on 06/14/2009

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I dont know about anybody else but my son is always with me and when hes not, i know exactly where he is. Peoples kids are the most important thing to them, you would know where they are and if theyre arent than those are the people that shouldnt have kids to begin with. That is just horrible, that parent should have to be straped into a burning hot car for 8 hours and catch a glimpse of how it feels.

Rachel - posted on 06/14/2009

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How the hell can anyone forget about their kids????????? I have never left mine in a car not even for a minute while i payed for gas. I live in Queensland Australia were our summer heats quiet often get up to 40 degrees with humidity reaching around 85 if not higher on some days and i have broken windows on cars with central locking to get kids out of the car in the hotest part of the day. There was also one time that i actually had to breake in to the car by picking the lock because the father had unscrewed all of the locks and went into the pub to drink and as i was getting into my car with my hubby i heard the 4 month old screaming his head of and the little girl who was only 2 looked like she was already gone and that scared the f***king shit out of me so i made my hubby call the cops while i broke into the car and by the time i got into the car the baby had stopped screaming and had gone into a sleep coma and the little girls pulse was so weak that i got her out of the car first as the baby's pulse was stronger then hers, after my hubby had called the cops he went straight in to the pub and got a bottle of water which i then sat there and fed to this poor little girl who was lying helplessly in my arms going in and out of conciousnes and my hubby got to the baby and he started wetting the baby's lips until the ambos and cops arrived. It was the worst experience of my life because i did not think that i could have saved the little girl but the ambos told me that if i had not have acted as quickly as i did both children would have died after another 10 mins in the car. The father then came out and started having a go at the cops and ambos because they were his kids and they did'nt have his permission to be touching his kids....Well i took that as an open invitation to smack this dead beat dad in the mouth, i no i should'nt have done it with the cops there but i just could'nt control myself because they were kids who were not old enough to fight for themselves. I got charged with assault (not that the cops really wanted to) but it's the law and as i said to the cop i'll were the assault charge with pride because i did it for those poor little babies that he almost killed. To this day i still think about those poor little babys and wonder if i had not heard the baby crying and acted as fast as i did what would have happened to them. I still have nightmares about those poor kids who were left to defend for themselves while their father who was apparently the better parent according to the courts went and got drunk. The only time i have ever forgoten any of my children was the first day my middle child was sick and i had'nt taken her to daycare but i had already taken my eldest to school and then came home and got my shopping list, now i had gotten her out of the car when i came in to get the shopping list and i had put her in the play pen i then picked up the shopping list, the keys and my wallet and walked out the door and got in the car and when i looked in the rear view mirror i realised that i had left her inside in her play pen and i was so scared that she would have been hysterical but when i got back in the house she was still sitting where i had left her with a huge smile on her face and she was fine but it freaked me out so much that i now dont close the front door until i no all of my children are strapped into the car, lol call me silly but i have invented a game for when were going out and that is i give them an animal name and when i say that name they have to make the sound of that animal if they are in the car and buckled in with my 2 yr old i buckle her in and then walk away and say her name and wait for her to make the noise even tho i no she's in the car because i buckled her in but it will teach her that she has to let me no that she's there and she ready to go like the others, i also do this when were getting out of the car and my kids love our little game because they are never the same animal. I feel that the parents who leave the kids in the car while they go drink, do drugs, or gamble should be charge and locked up because none of these things are more important then your kids!!!!!!!!!!!!

Melinda - posted on 06/14/2009

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I cannot see how anyone could forget their kid in the car either. I always have at least on of my kids with me and I always look. Even though they get quiet sometimes I know they are back there. Call me parianoid but I don't leave them in the car for any reason. Even when I pay for gas they come with me. I get them out of their car seats and go in. It may be inconvinent, but oh well. I even wonder how they are doing when they go visit my sister or my Mom. If they are staying overnight I call them and say good night and check on them. I just don't see how anyone can forget. I hate hearing all those stories. It makes me cry every time.

Erin - posted on 06/14/2009

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i feel bad for parents that legitimately forgot somehow because they have to live with that for the rest of their lives and have to explain it to their other kids. however those sleaze balls that intentionally leave their kids in cars to gamble or go to strip clubs, well fry them, they're useless! lol

Wendy - posted on 06/14/2009

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I totally agree with you. How anyone can "forget" their child is beyond me. My three kids are never far from my mind and when I'm in work two days a week, even though they are with my mum they are still constantly on my mind. These people should be locked up!

[deleted account]

Quoting Catherine:

HOW????? How on earth do you forget your child? I forget my phone, my keys, my wallet, my handbag. I forget the bottle or the nappy bag. I forget the lunchbox and the schoolbag. But NEVER once have I forgotten my children, not for one minute. I wouldn't even leave my kids for two minutes alone in our house to walk to the postbox. I have no idea how anyone could forget for an entire day.YES they should be prosecuted. If they hit a child with a car because they were over tired or preoccupied with work we'd expect prosecution. Their negligance resulted in the death of a child. Thats manslaughter. I don't think them feeling guilty for the rest of their lives is punishment enough. If that makes me a heartless b*tch so be it.


LOL!  Glad to others as fired up about this as I am.

[deleted account]

HOW????? How on earth do you forget your child? I forget my phone, my keys, my wallet, my handbag. I forget the bottle or the nappy bag. I forget the lunchbox and the schoolbag. But NEVER once have I forgotten my children, not for one minute. I wouldn't even leave my kids for two minutes alone in our house to walk to the postbox. I have no idea how anyone could forget for an entire day.YES they should be prosecuted. If they hit a child with a car because they were over tired or preoccupied with work we'd expect prosecution. Their negligance resulted in the death of a child. Thats manslaughter. I don't think them feeling guilty for the rest of their lives is punishment enough. If that makes me a heartless b*tch so be it.

Hope - posted on 06/13/2009

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I can't say much cause I don;t drive I take city transit where I am..but even if I had a lience and a car I still would NOT ever leave a child in a car to bake, if they are sleeping wake them to go in a store with you, Some people should not be allowed to have kids.

Abby - posted on 06/13/2009

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maybe im naive, but ive rarely heard of this happening, but i do live in the uk! and it doesnt tend to get so hot here!

i have never and will never leave my son in a car, even if he's asleep id rather wake him than leave him!

i do not understand why how anyone cld forget their child! i hope they suffer! heartless maybe but i didnt leave my child in a baking hot car!

Hope - posted on 06/13/2009

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Umm for the comment on the guy gambling or a women getting her nails done..its called if you can't find a babysitter to look after your young ones its called Simply put that task off for another time when you have someone to watch your child instead of oh its a must have to get go gamble or walk around a mall or nails done..if you can take them in with you unless they are going to be well behaved give them something to do when your getting your nails done. Well then again shouldn;t take a child to a casino but at least put it off...it can't be that important..that you have to leave a child in a car to gamble..ok I am likely not making much sense here sorry if I might be running around in circles with my sentences..Getting through my cup of coffee here. LOL :)

Hope - posted on 06/13/2009

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Not sure if this is off topic or not...might be..but when I am out shopping I have a tight grip on the shopping cart..or if I have her in the stroller there has been times I let go of the stroller and looked at something for a second but then I instantly turn my head and put the tight grip to the stroller. I noticed this is about kids being left in cars..but I also noticed its been mentioned where kids can easily be kidnapped to. God as if I don't have enough to worry about..I hear all these stories of kids being neglected or kidnapped it scares the living hell out of me.

Hope - posted on 06/13/2009

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I have not seen anything like this happen in Ontario where I am yet..but I hope to never witness something like that..I would likely call the cops instantly. Or wanna ring the parents neck.

Ruth - posted on 06/13/2009

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How do you forget about a child for a whole day??!!! Must be drunk or on drugs or something. I wish I could forget for a few moments sometimes! An entire day? Must be absolute morons!!

Jessica - posted on 06/12/2009

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I can't ever imagine forgetting my son and letting him sit in a car all day long. you aren't a heartless b*tch at all.

[deleted account]

I have a black car, and it gets very hot in the summer here. You know how you start your car and warm it up in the winter? Well, I start mine and run the A/C in the summer before I put my kids in it! I rarely go places without them, so I can't really imagine forgetting them, and I have to be pretty desperate to leave them in the car somewhere (certainly never where I can't see the car). Usually my feeling is the opposite...I go somewhere without them and I feel so empty-handed!

Gorett - posted on 06/12/2009

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I don't know if this was the same incident, but there was a 4 month old baby recently that was left in a car at the BART station (San Francisco Bay Area). It is a horrible tragedy that no parent would ever want to go through. It is very hard to pass judgement on people not knowing why the incident happened. Remember that this family has to live every waking moment knowing that they will never hold their baby again.

Jocelyn - posted on 06/12/2009

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i agree with Angel, sometimes it is hard to distinguish who deserves to be charged. the man who went to go gamble, and the woman who got her nails done, yes defiantly, but for the parents who might truly have forgotten (as lame an excuse as it is, bear with me here), it's hard to say; i think that the guilt that they would be living with, for the rest of their lives, could certainly be good enough of a punishment (in most cases). if i were a judge i really can't say which way i would swing.
but i do think that if the parents aren't charged that they should defiantly have to do something, parenting course, see a shrink, have their license taken away, remove the remaining kids from the house (if not forever, at least until certain criteria are met) etc.

Angel - posted on 06/12/2009

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After reading the Washington Post article, there are definitely two types of parents involved in these situations. The careless ones who thought oh I'll just be a few minutes and the loving, overwhelmed ones who truly had something tragic happen to them. The law needs to work to punish those who deserve it. Not all deserve criminal charges. The hard thing is distinguishing between who does and who doesn't. Sometimes it's clear and clean cut... oh I just left him in there to gamble a bit and the OMG what have I done?!

As our population grows and we become more and more selfish we will see more and more deaths like this.

[deleted account]

Quoting Tammy:

I read the article (Thanks, that link worked!) but it seemed just a tad too sympathetic to the negligent parents for my taste, taking the position that this could happen to anyone. I think that's rubbish. Anybody can forget their child for 2 minutes, not everyone can forget their child for HOURS ON END. Some expert in the article states that "If you can forget your cellphone then you can forget your child". Rubbish. I rarely forget my cellphone and if I do, I remember about 2 blocks down the road and go back for it. I am even more attached to my children than I am my cell. I think it takes a person whose priorities are hideously out of order to entirely forget about a child. I'd also like to know where these 60% of cases are that are prosecuted. This crime happens routinely here in the Midwest and it is a rare case indeed that you hear about it being prosecuted. Perhaps they wait until the media furor dies down and THEN charge them?


I certainly didn't expect my perspective to be the majority on this topic. For me though, I look at that article and see the types or parent who has done this - mistakenly leaving a child in the car - and there's no pattern. The are from all socioeconomic groups and education levels. They're not all workaholics (some are SAHM) or disinterested parents. But most cases seem to involve stress, sleep-depravation, change in routine, distractions, etc. I don't think it matters how much I adore my son, or how often I think of him throughout the day, my memory is not infallible. So even though, I can't even comprehend doing something so horrible, I'll continue to implement those extra checks in my routine, just in case. Personally, I think this is something simple that all parents should consider doing. There are a lot more car safety tips here:



http://www.kidsandcars.org/welcome.html



As for the question about prosecution, like they said in the article, whether or not felony charges are filed is completely at the discretion of the local prosecutor. I imagine that with how long it takes for cases to actually be heard in court, the media may not be interested in following the stories through to the end. I tend to trust that 60% number (though it varies by region probably) since it was from an independent child safety board. I'm not sure how I feel about prosecution in these cases - depends a lot on the circumstances involved.

Angel - posted on 06/12/2009

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Ok, I think I'm a horrible parent because I don't provide structure for my kids. I have NEVER left them in the car. When my oldest, now 14 was 3 months old I locked her in the car by accident. I literally pulled the door away trying to get in right away. Someone called the police to assist me, he was able to get something in there to unlock the door.

Even today I won't let my 7 year old son stay in the car when I do in anywhere but the gas station and then he usually runs in seconds later to go potty or ask for a treat.

And only now will I let both kids stay alone in the car if I go somewhere quick. In and out shopping only. And that's only because my 14 year old has a cell phone and I can comfortably leave the car running.

Missi - posted on 06/12/2009

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i dont believe that theyre really 'forgetting' thats just their excuse when they get caught!! its stupid and irresponsible!! some parents feel it will be safe because they wont be gone long! No child of any age under 10 can be relied on to care for themselves even if for only 10 minutes! if you cannot take your children inside wherever your going dont take them! i live in melbourne australia and at least monthy there are stories of children over heating, passing out, being stolen along with the car! its rediculous!! i have broken many car windows just to give air to small children untill police have arrived! i dont know about the rest of you but i couldnt walk past and not do anything! its just too dangerous theres too many risks involved!!! Grown ups should know better!!

[deleted account]

Quoting Tammy:

Children being left in cars to bake

I just heard another story about someone leaving their child in the car and the child dying of heat stroke. Once again, the parent was supposed to drop the child off at day care, forgot and never thought of it until time to pick the child up. What are your thoughts on this topic? I have several kids and yet I've somehow managed to not forget about any of them FOR AN ENTIRE DAY. Am I the only heartless b*tch who thinks that parents should be prosecuted for that? I know families who have 10 children and who still manage to keep track of all of them. I don't understand the mindset of a parent who can forget to take their child to daycare and then not think about them until the end of the day. I mean, we all make mistakes. I left my son in the car and managed to walk all the way into Target with my 3 girls before I realized I didn't have him (a sum total of about 1 minute). I've forgotten to go pick up my girls at activities and shown up a half hour late. Most moms I know don't go 15 minutes without thinking about their kids, working or not. My own husband might forget to drop them off at daycare. We don't do daycare so I've never had to test the theory, but I know based on other things he's forgotten about that in maybe a half hour, 45 minutes he'd be thinking, "Hmm... I don't actually remember dropping the child off... OH CRAP!" No way would he go through his entire work day and the thought never occur to him. Do you think this indicates an attitude that the parents have, i.e. that their child is just another checkbox on their list and once they check it, it's totally out of their thoughts? Or do you see how this could happen and just feel bad for the parents that they lost their child?


This person should be charged with homicide to some degree and should NOT have a chance to defend themselves in court. Its really sad to say, but this person (if even convicted) will probably serve a minimum sentence and go on to have more babies. Sick. 

[deleted account]

OK maybe Im an overly paranoid mum, but my child is ALWAYS on my mind, Im quite liable to forget everything but never ever him!
I dont really understand the story though - if they were supposed to be dropping the kid off at daycare what did they do when they got there - walk in with his lunchbox but no kid?
Whatever happened they should be in jail - its unforgiveable in my opinion. Idiots!

[deleted account]

I have actually heard of such an incident, but not sure if its the one you are describing. I dont understand leaving your keys in...dont most vehicles PING when you leave the keys in the car? I am glad mine does. After reading these cases, I am seeing many are a result of routines that have sudden changes. I can see that. All and all, I think living with the grief of what has happened, is a life long prison sentence of the mind. I think If God can forgive them, I can too. Wont bring the poor child back, but ...well.....I gotta end it there. I believe its a result of our every expanding need for both parents to work outside the home. Thats why we have a modest home here in SF bay, just so I can stay home. Sure, we could have what the Jones have, but at what cost? Too busy of a lifestyle and possibly the lose of child. Not worth ANY amount of material possessions. I feel very bad for the parents who have to LIVE with this on the mind EVERY DARN day!! Sad,....sad indeed.

Jocelyn - posted on 06/12/2009

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Quoting Shelley:

Well, honestly, I think it is due to the fact we live in such a fast paced society. Moms almost always dont get to stay home with their children, and both parents MUST work to make ends meet, thus, making the stresses of each day horrible. I think this happens more with DADS, because their minds dont work like Moms do. That may sound sexist, but I think women are better at multitasking than men are. It happened to a close friend of mine. He was the most responsible man I know. He took his child out of the car seat, and place it on the ground next to the car, then took in the many groceries and work items he had in his car. During that last trip, he forgot about the baby. Yep...totally forgot. After about an hour of putting things away, he realized something was wrong. Remembered he left his dd outside, and ran to check on her. She was sound asleep next to the car with the door still open. But I have to say, never say never! As for the comments on leaving baby in the car for just a few minutes to pop into the store to pay for gas is just as wrong. Why? Because we have seen on the news that even then, babies have been stolen in just those minutes or so. Thats all it takes. Almost happened to my best friend here in California. Just three minutes and she came out after paying for her gas, and someone was trying to get INTO her car!! I think "forgetting" as apposed to "on purpose" are two separate issues. I think it again, all boils down to the extremely busy lifestyle many of us face each and everyday. Its not that we dont love our children, its just our LIST of priorities are all encompassing. I would hope spreading more information on this will waken some of us up! I pray this year does not hold so many more graphic deaths!


there was actually another incident in...Edmonton (i think...correct me if im wrong) where there was this kid who stole a truck (keys in it, unlocked, from a school parking lot i believe) and there was a baby in a carseat still in there.  lucky both the truck and the baby were returned unharmed, and the baby was only missing for a few hours.  but this is one of those completely idoitic moments... it could have been avoided by just taking baby out, and then locking the door! like i mean, come on ppl, it's not rocket science!



i'm lucky enough that i have a hubby who won't even go get gas if he has our son with him :)

[deleted account]

Well, honestly, I think it is due to the fact we live in such a fast paced society. Moms almost always dont get to stay home with their children, and both parents MUST work to make ends meet, thus, making the stresses of each day horrible. I think this happens more with DADS, because their minds dont work like Moms do. That may sound sexist, but I think women are better at multitasking than men are. It happened to a close friend of mine. He was the most responsible man I know. He took his child out of the car seat, and place it on the ground next to the car, then took in the many groceries and work items he had in his car. During that last trip, he forgot about the baby. Yep...totally forgot. After about an hour of putting things away, he realized something was wrong. Remembered he left his dd outside, and ran to check on her. She was sound asleep next to the car with the door still open. But I have to say, never say never! As for the comments on leaving baby in the car for just a few minutes to pop into the store to pay for gas is just as wrong. Why? Because we have seen on the news that even then, babies have been stolen in just those minutes or so. Thats all it takes. Almost happened to my best friend here in California. Just three minutes and she came out after paying for her gas, and someone was trying to get INTO her car!! I think "forgetting" as apposed to "on purpose" are two separate issues. I think it again, all boils down to the extremely busy lifestyle many of us face each and everyday. Its not that we dont love our children, its just our LIST of priorities are all encompassing. I would hope spreading more information on this will waken some of us up! I pray this year does not hold so many more graphic deaths!

[deleted account]

I read the article (Thanks, that link worked!) but it seemed just a tad too sympathetic to the negligent parents for my taste, taking the position that this could happen to anyone. I think that's rubbish. Anybody can forget their child for 2 minutes, not everyone can forget their child for HOURS ON END. Some expert in the article states that "If you can forget your cellphone then you can forget your child". Rubbish. I rarely forget my cellphone and if I do, I remember about 2 blocks down the road and go back for it. I am even more attached to my children than I am my cell. I think it takes a person whose priorities are hideously out of order to entirely forget about a child. I'd also like to know where these 60% of cases are that are prosecuted. This crime happens routinely here in the Midwest and it is a rare case indeed that you hear about it being prosecuted. Perhaps they wait until the media furor dies down and THEN charge them?

Malinda - posted on 06/12/2009

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Jenifer, thank you for posting that article. I wept reading it and think it sends a powerful message to us all. I have a routine, and do not take my child to daycare, but I am not infallable. One message I got from the article is that we must slow down our information-age lives. The one thing I saw in common (as mentioned in the article as well) is stress. Having too much going on, putting yourself in a situation where you need to make critical choices when you are not in the mindset to do so, recognizing when that is.... and just slowing down to look at the world around you.

I hope spreading this information prevents this from happening so much, and helps us all to understand, rather than judge, the people who have suffered through this.

Amie - posted on 06/12/2009

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Quoting Alison:


The people who really need to be given the longest prison sentence possible are the ones who do it on purpose. I saw a thing on TV about parents leaving their kids in the car while they walked round a mall. I don't think just poping into a gas station for a few seconds to pay or forgetting for a minute or Two is so bad. But when is it ok to walk round a mall for hours and leave your children in the car? The excuse was that the baby was sleeping and they didn't want to wake.


 



OMG~ I agree these ones need to be incarcerated too. How sickening. Didn't want to wake the baby? Are you kidding me? I get my babies out of the van every time we go to the store, regardless if they've fallen asleep or not. Our 2 month old will lay down in the back of the double stroller and go back to sleep. Our other ones wake up and are raring to go again. It's not often they fall asleep in the car though, we're good about scheduling outtings around their nap times but sometimes it does happen if they've had an especially busy day but I wouldn't ever leave them in the van because they'd fallen asleep... jesus.

[deleted account]

I personally feel bad for the parents who don't do it on purpose (I am in no way excusing their incompetence as parents). It's possible that they had extreme stress and couldn't cope.



The people who really need to be given the longest prison sentence possible are the ones who do it on purpose. I saw a thing on TV about parents leaving their kids in the car while they walked round a mall. I don't think just poping into a gas station for a few seconds to pay or forgetting for a minute or Two is so bad. But when is it ok to walk round a mall for hours and leave your children in the car? The excuse was that the baby was sleeping and they didn't want to wake. These people were not unintentional bad parents, they deliberately made a consious choice to leave the child while they shopped. I think this example is far worse than the one mentioned in the original post.

[deleted account]

Just for further info, from the article, this happens between 15 and 25 times per year in the US, and in about 60% of those cases, the parents are charged with a crime.

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