Childrens Friends Mistreating Them

Sheryl - posted on 03/26/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My oldest daughter has a friend she adores...The last couple times she has invited this friend over, the friend says yes, the parent does as well...But when it comes down to it, the friend decides she doesnt wanna come...It breaks my daughters heart (and mine). I am needing positive things to say to my daughter when this happens. I have encouraged her to find other friends that wanna come over and that has helped, but she still is upset over this one girl. These are 8 yr olds, I cant imagine what it will be like later on down the road...I myself am having a hard time because if it were my friend I could tell them how I feel and would probably direct my attention elsewhere...Any suggestions?

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5 Comments

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Iridescent - posted on 03/26/2010

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She's possibly scared of being away from home. Maybe offer to have your daughter spend the night there as an "ice breaker" first.

Sheryl - posted on 03/26/2010

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Thanks for the replies...At first I will admit, you would of thought it was my friend doing it to me...lol. I have stressed to my daughter to invite other friends, get to know other people, etc...She is in a Soccer organization and also Cheer, there's plenty of kiddos...I think for some reason she feels more comfortable with this one friend. She does seem to be doing better and not so concerned with this friend. What I find funny is she has had other friends over and to listen/watch them play together, they get along much better. I want to be her best friend as my mom was mine, but I also want her to know how to make friends and get to know people, I cant say that I did that when I was growing up, I relied on Momma to much, but its nice knowing there's always that one person you can turn to. Thanks again Ladies, I really appreciate it!

Felicia - posted on 03/26/2010

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Well they always say a child's best friend is their mom, Keep on encouraging her to find new friends that want to come over and play, family that live near by always helps too (like cousins and stuff). Try getting her involved in things (clubs) that are happening around the community as well those are always new place that give great opportunity to find new friends... And if some thing happens with the girl that she does not want to come over ask if she would want to do something with you like going to the park or something... I'm sure your daughter will be fine kids always are they make new friend very easily...Hope you find something that works for you both

Emma - posted on 03/26/2010

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I had a friend growing up who would say she would come over, her mom would say yes and then she wouldn't show up. Turns out, she got grounded and she or her mom would call and tell me something different. Well, almost 30 years later...we are still friends. In time, she won't be so upset. Have her do other things and just wait for this friend to call and plan somthing herself. I still remember how I felt when it happened to me, but my mum got me through by having other friends come over and getting me interested in other activities.

Magen - posted on 03/26/2010

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Perhaps talking to the other girls parents to find out why she is changing her mind. Maybe she is shy or embarased about something she has going on and it doesn't have anything to do with your daughter. This would also be a great opportunity to teach your daughter that she alone is responsible for her happiness and she can't let someone not being there ruin her day.