Christian is 16 1/2months old and refuses to talk

Kira - posted on 01/18/2010

I read through most of the posts I agree with some, as a mother of an autistic child I know the heartache and the joy that come out of the disease. My son had the 20-30 word vocab and laughed and responded until he was about 18 mos old, then the words went down to about 5. He didn't even say mommy anymore! My pediatrician told me not to worry about it since he was finding other ways to get his needs acrossed but mom's have a sixth sense on those things, I took him in for the free testing and the school placed him on the spectrum (autism) and started speech therapy/Ocupational. I agree that you shouldn't jump to conclusions but the free testing couldn't hurt b/c they basically just play with him and you'll have the comfort of knowing. It is harder to tell before age two so no reason not to wait and see what happens between now and then. Another thing to watch for is repetative actions, like my son lined things up and at age 4 still doesn't know how to pretend play, he just takes the things out and lines them up then puts them back in the container. The earlier you start help the better so follow your mommy instinct!

Maureen-Keisha - posted on 01/08/2010

Hello,
I don't think there is anyting to worry about.Some children talk late,especially boys.Keep talking to him.If you have friends who have children,let him be in their midst.Seeing them talk,he'll want to talk too.Let him watch cartoons and you'll see him try to imitate them.Don't be scared!
Bless you!

Sandy - posted on 01/08/2010

As a mother of 5 I can tell you to don't worry.... as long as he comprehends what you are saying he is on the right track. The smartest child of my 5 didn't really speak complete sentences until turning 3 yrs old. He is now a sophmore in highschool and is in advanced placement classes. Many children will listen and soak up information at that age, thus making them more knowledgeable. Hope this helps.

Sylvia - posted on 01/07/2010

Sounds like your son is doing very well. Very few children say much more than mum mum or dad dad at 16 mths Lots of oral communication be it a conversation ,songs, stories, or play one day his confidence and skill will meet and you'll wonder when he'll stop Have lots of fun enjoying his company.

Tonya - posted on 01/07/2010

sometimes its for attention!! my mom had the same problem with my brother, she made him talk by acting like she didnt know what he wanted, he kept making hand motions until she finily said"your going to have to tell me what you want" i dont understand!! finily he said"sandwhich stupid" he got the sanwhich and finily talked!! they are smarter than we give them credit for!!

Sarah - posted on 01/07/2010

My son is 20 months old and since he has two older brothers who talk for him, he has never really felt the need to talk. I think the daycare setting is a wonderful idea, I know that my 3 year old really picked up some language and articulation when he was in daycare. I say relax and pick a word or two at a time and when he has mastered those move on to the next ones.

Anita - posted on 01/07/2010

Talk to his pediatrician....I know not talking can be a sign of autism, but he's still young.

Kim - posted on 01/07/2010

dont worry, some kids don't speak until they are ready all the way up to between 2-3 he'll talk when ur least expecting it.

Kelly - posted on 01/07/2010

If he hasn't even said one word yet I would talk to the Pediatrician. I know they are all different with some being early walkers and talkers. He should have at least a small ammount of words being used now. In other ways he is responsive and social and seems to clearly understand language so it is probably no big deal but I would consult if you aren't hearing anything yet just in case there are hearing problems or something else and you'll rest easy. If he has a slower start most tend to catch up so I wouldn't let that part concern you.

Carmen - posted on 01/07/2010

Christian will talk when he is ready. My husband didn't talk until he was three. If he is understanding what you are saying, then he is listening and he knows what the words mean, so do not worry. Maybe he's just the strong, silent type!

Dawn - posted on 01/07/2010

My son is 28 months and we currently have a speach therepist come to our house once a month. Her tips are: you don't want to tell them to say things, as this discourages. While playing with them, say a lot of repetitive words, like taking a toy and having it go up and down and while you're doing that jusat say "up" and "down"etc, and they will eventually catch on. It all has to do with interaction with them in helping them, while making it fun. Lots of sounds to, and songs. Also, when you are reading a book to them hold it close to your mouth. The speech therepist is free to us, so check out what your state has to offer program-wise. They don't even worry about speech until after 18 mos. anyway. Sometimes preschool is offered free for speech delayed kids. Hope this helps!

Carol - posted on 01/07/2010

be patient you will be sorry when he gets to the stage when everything is who , what and why. My daughter statred talking when she was two. Shen is now 16 and some days i wish she didn't learn how.They never shut up. enjoy the silence

Courtney - posted on 01/07/2010

This is completely normal. I have a cousin who has grown up to be a very famous sci-fi writer. He didn't start speaking until he was over 3 years old. All in due time. Each child is very different and we cannot compare our children to one another.

Heather - posted on 01/07/2010

I really wouldn't worry much at this point. My kids are 15 months apart and my oldest daughter used to always talk for my youngest. She was super smart and my son just wasn't the same way. My daughter knew her alphebet by 18 months and could count to 25 by then. Knew all of her colors and just blew us away with her talking and knowledge. My son was more on track but we were concerned because we tended to compare his progress with what his older sister did. That wasn't fair and when we stopped doing that we saw the truth about his development. We finally told our daughter not to answer for him. And we made him ask for what he wanted before we gave it to him. Even if it wasn't a full sentence. If he wanted his sippy cup we'd tell him to tell mommy what you want. And he'd say either cup or sippy. And then we'd give it to him. Sometimes it turned into a battle but we stuck to our guns and now he's talking up a storm. Don't worry just yet. If you make a big deal out of it he'll see he's getting a reaction out of you and probably do it for longer.

Good Luck!

Evie - posted on 01/07/2010

Niki
Do not stress that is first priority he sounds like a normal healthy little boy. He is babbling he just has not been able to coordinate his babbling into coherent words that you understand, he understands what he is saying. Plus boys tend to develop slower than girls. It sounds like you are doing everything that you need to do I would suggest you clearly enunciate your words to him and dont use baby talk to him as this confuses a child. He sounds very bright try getting him to say numbers or colours this worked with my 3 kids my son was slower than my girls. Hope this helps
cheers
Evie

Jeanette - posted on 01/07/2010

Kids do things in their own time...but are you doing it for him? Like if he motions for a cup do you give it to him? Make him say "cup" before he gets his drink, or milk or water...whatever. Does he have siblings that fetch and carry for him because he's the baby? That's a common problem. If it's none of these things, don't try and get him to say things to you...try carrying on a conversation with him...he'll start to talk to you during it. That is what I did with my son....I missed being with grown ups and I just talked non stop to him...before I knew it he was responding....Good luck. :) Hang in there! Once he starts he won't stop.... ;)

Jana - posted on 01/07/2010

My son was very quiet like that, too. He didn't talk until he was 3, but when he decided to, it was in full sentences. When he was 4, I enrolled him in preschool, and he would tell me, "Mom, I don't think I'm going to talk in school today." And he wouldn't talk all day! He'll speak when he feels he has something worth saying. Don't worry! Enjoy the quiet--he'll be talking up a storm when he's a teen!

Rika - posted on 01/07/2010

My son is 3 years old and doesn't talk that good as well. Don't panic - some toddlers develop slower than others - late bloomers - and its OK! Read to him as often as possible, talk to him and perhaps, just to make sure, evaluate his hearing abilities and if everything is ok with his ears.
RELAX! He will talk eventually!

Francesca - posted on 01/06/2010

Don't be paranoid, he is fine. My grandson was 1 yr 10 months and we thought something was wrong because he didn't talk or do much of anything. Now he is two and we can't stop him from talking and playing. He was just shy in the beginning. Be thankful that he likes his books and hopefully you are reading to him. Don't worry!

Chrissy - posted on 01/06/2010

The only way to get a baby to talk is not give them what they want. I mean if they grunt and point for something don't give it to them till they ask you for it.

Michelle - posted on 01/06/2010

I didn't mean to make it sound like you should be mean about it by making them do something. I'm sorry if it sounded like that. I just meant as way to encourage them to use words. That's all. I also wanted to say that adults should speak kindly but properly around the child. In other words, try to avoid "baby talk".

Kathy - posted on 01/06/2010

Don't worry. All babies talk at their own rate. My daughter was two before she talked

Susie - posted on 01/06/2010

I think it is way to early to worry, as long as he understand what your saying its okay. Focus on what he can say, when he babbles for example the word car just say yes it that the car. I wouldnt push him, he'll talk when he's ready.

Caroline - posted on 01/06/2010

I personally wouldn't be at all worried at this stage. My friends daughter didn't talk until she was nearly 2 and now she won't stop, her speech isn't as clear as my own daughters who is 2 months older but she is understandable & improving all the time, it's basically at a 'normal level'. All children are different, I once knew a 1 year old who could have a full on conversation with you and was as clear a 5 year old and I have known 2 and a half year olds that only use very basic language. Every child develops at THEIR own pace. If you are concerned get it checked out and put your mind at rest

Rebecca - posted on 01/06/2010

My doctor gave me the best advice when I was worried about my son not talking when he was two. He said: "Is he communicating with you? Is he getting his point across? Does he understand you?" I in turn answered yes to all three. He responded: Then he is absolutely fine. "He'll talk when he's ready, not when your ready." I was relived when said that to me. That no matter how hard we try or what we do to encourage, sometimes it's just not going to happen until they decided it is. To end the story, my son finally started talking two months before his third birthday after spending the weekend with some older cousins he adores. He is 4 1/2 now and I can't get him to shut up!! Be patient, it'll happen.

Monica - posted on 01/06/2010

If you are concerned, every state offers a free early intervention program for children under the age of 3 to be evaluated for a speech delay. They come out to your home and do an evaluation (social interaction, games, flash cards, they make it fun for the child) to determine if there is any type of delay, if they find that they do, they will recommend further services to help the child catch up to their peers. The goal is to get children early before they enter Kindergarten.

I say this only because my son only said 10 words at the age of 2, everything else he grunted and cried for. I took him to his doctor and we had his hearing checked only to find he had so much fluid in his ears that his hearing was only functioning at about 25%. Mind you, I never would have suspected his hearing loss, because he could respond to everything I would ask him. We had ear tubes put in and he started speech. Within 3 months he was speaking at his age level and is now a very happy and talkative 3.5 year old.

My advice is no matter what advice you get, please trust your instincts. People I would ask gave me every reason from, late talker to Autism! Remember, Mommy knows best!! Good luck and God Bless!!

Laura - posted on 01/06/2010

call early intervention have someone come to your house to evaluating ur child he may be need some help with his muscle around his mouth and have the early intervention help teach some sign language to communication it will benefits i have seven kids some of my kids doesnt talk till later and their first language is sign language ok any question do not hestiate to ask thanks

Kathy - posted on 01/06/2010

I've done childcare for 20 years, and children will speak at different ages. It is very common for them to start talking as late as 2. What I have found that helps them to want to encourage them to talk is to teach them simple words in sign. The most helpful are; finished, more, eat, drink. Once they learn that they can get what they want by communicating, they are excited to learn more. Another thing is to talk to him a lot and listen to his babbling for constants like "wa wa" for water, then you repeat back to him water as you hand him his cup. I hope this helps. If you have other questions you can ask directly at embox715@hotmail.com.

Kristina - posted on 01/06/2010

Far be it for me to tell you what to think, but here's what I just dealt with. My son is 23 months old & only has about a dozen words, so yesterday we took him to a speech therapist to get him evaluated. I, honestly, didn't think anything was wrong, and I was right. The therapist was honest enough to say that she didn't think it would help for him to come see her & that he's just not ready. He's really smart & understands everything we say. He also picks up his toys, helps me do laundry, puts groceries away... He knows when we're talking about him, he knows most of his colors, half of his letters, some shapes, etc... We've really stressed positive reinforcement, so he even claps for himself. She did suggest that we try to teach him to sign a little & started us out with "more," & he's already doing it today. She also said to put him in a gym class or something to be around kids because she said kids learn best from other kids. Our son has been saying no whenever we'd try to get him to talk, & now he's a bit more willing. All in all, I didn't think we needed to go, but I'm glad we did because it reaffirmed that I really do know my child, & so do you. She also recommended a hearing test (even though we all knew he can hear), just to rule it out. Got him in today, & he passed that too. Good luck! Here's a signing website if you want to try it: http://www.signwithme.com/default.asp.

Michelle - posted on 01/06/2010

My son will be 18 months in 2 weeks and he's not talking. He never shuts up but it always sounds like chinese lol just babbling away. He understands get your toys and go by daddy and many other things. The doctor said if he doesn't talk by 18 months he can do speech classes but even with speech classes they talk when they want. Don't let it bother you at all! It'll come in time :). Enjoy the peace and quiet while you can ;)

Kathryn - posted on 01/06/2010

I have a son the same age, he also is not talking. He doesn't even say mum or dad yet. But he does babble. Kids develop at different stages, my daughter was an early talker and my other son started talking around 18 months. I don't think there is anything to worry about as he is understanding your instructions. If you are worried go and see a peadiatrician and let them know your concerns, they will also be able to help you with stratergies to encourage language development.
I would not be worried about autism at this stage as some autistic kids talk early too, so talking late is not necessarily a sign.

H.J - posted on 01/06/2010

Not talking is a common problem with children who have older siblings, if you are concerned go see your doctor its never a bad thing to ask and at least when you do you will get a definitive answer. If he does actually have a speech delay then early intervention is essential, don't be afraid to ask the question go and ask your doctor if they see a problem with him not talking!

Nona - posted on 01/06/2010

My son would not talk till he was 2 and then you could not shut him up. He would act everything out in his own way like pointing at the sink for water ect. But just to be sure your baby is ok ask your doctor and have his ears checked. I cared for a little boy who could not talk well and it was because of his ears

Janie - posted on 01/06/2010

One of my nieces and a Goddess child too didn't talk for a long time ... both of them got their needs met by parents who anticipated what the children wanted ... don't fall into that trap, even if it takes longer for the child to respond, encourage them by not anticipating what they want ... I agree with Kirstin though, these could be early signs of autism, it wouldn't hurt to have Christian checked out

Megan - posted on 01/06/2010

My 18 month old nephew has the same problem and they had him checked out by a specialist, as long as he is understanding you Im sure its not autism, and since he socializes in his own way thats another good sign, he will learn its just taking longer than normal, just keep talking to him and trying to get him to repeat the words back to you it will come to him sooner than you think

Brenda - posted on 01/06/2010

If it is your first child, sometimes they start later. You might want to run it by the pediatrican.

Alisha - posted on 01/06/2010

It's normal for you to be worried and it's ok if your 16 1/2 month old won't talk yet! I've worked in day care and some 2 1/2 year olds won't talk! Start teaching him simple words like milk, cracker and make him ask for things then praise him when he says one word. He will get the hint that mommy loves when he talks and it will get him more attention. He also may think it's a fun game to not do what mommy wants so don't make a big deal out of it if he won't then it's not a game anymore.

Sandy - posted on 01/06/2010

I would certainly watch for other milestones being met and do research about that, but it sounds like he understands words just fine.
My oldest son did not put even two words together until he was 22 months old, and then still didn't talk much, but we knew he understood and he conveyed what he wanted so I didn't worry about his development. I just continued talking to him, and playing games, and singing -- all the usual stuff. I never tried making him say a word in order to receive the food or object.
By the time he was 6 his pediatrician commented he talks like he is "6 going on 30", I guess from being around grownups all the time.
In 6th grade, he was asked to speak to a group of university educators about kids in the digital era, and now he is in high school, still has no fear giving speeches, and one of his speeches helped get him elected to the Freshman Class Cabinet in a class of nearly 300.
So, don't worry, they get there on their own time.

Michelle - posted on 01/06/2010

Don't worry! He will talk when he is ready. All kids do things at their own rates. Don't bother with comparing him to other kids, it is pointless and will only make you feel worse. Just keep encouraging him to express himself in any way he can. You may try requiring him to ask you for things before you give them to him. Like for example: if he wants juice, say something like, "Tell Mommy what you want." Don't get hasty with him if he doesn't at first. Just keep trying, be consistent. Keep asking him direct questions, and don't give him the answers. In other words, don't say "do you want juice?" Hope it helps...

Chelsea - posted on 01/06/2010

does he have siblings that talk for him? that is always a problem. i was watching supper nanny and to get the child to talk, you do something fun like tickle him, and start off going "tickle tickle tiiiccckle" and tickle him till he enjoys it. then go "tickletickletickle" and leave your hands riiiight infront of him, and tell him "say tickle!" and when he does, reward him with tickling him. and keep that up. when i use to help with my little brother who had the other sibling talking for him, which was my younger sister at the time, and i would baby sit him and he would want a drink, but just whine about it, make weird noises, and i knew what he wanted, so i took him to the kitchen when he thought i was just going to give him a cup with something in it. i would tell him, "use your words" because he knew what it was, and i would help him by saying also "cup?" "juice?" and he would whhiiineee a little bit, but he finally caved in everytime and would start telling me, and i would make it like a fun little game for him. hope our advice helps out =)

Nicole - posted on 01/06/2010

I taught my daughter to use her words by making her ask for what it was she wanted instead of responding to the grunts and whines or a pointed finger. It worked wonderfully!

Heidi - posted on 01/06/2010

my daughter turned 2 on Sep 12 2009.. she hardly ever said a word... one day I was on my laptop & she didnt know I was around & she sang twinkle twinkle little star with Dora on T.V at first it scared me.. but I got to talking to other mothers & they said that if she did it again just start singing it with her! ♥ & then just out of the middle of no where she started really picking up words & now she dont stop talking! so it will happen maybe all at once like my daughter did! GOOD LUCK & GOD BLESS!

Heidi & Lae'luh

Nikii - posted on 01/06/2010

Thank you all for your comments. Christian started a pre-nursery group just before Christmas and return again next week, he also starts a toddler group and goes to a creche once a week he is the youngest so maybe they will help him with his speech. We have told his older sister not to give him things unless he tries to ask properly instead of pointing and saying ugh. I will keep talking to him lots and try to get him to repeat the words.

Sunshine - posted on 01/06/2010

No you should be worried. He will talk when he is ready just keep working with him and You will be suprised one day.

Joan - posted on 01/06/2010

Don't worry. He sounds happy and he is babbling; sounds fine. There is a language burst around 18 months. If you are still worried after bring it up at his 2 yr old well child check up.

Dana - posted on 01/06/2010

Psh, my son is 17 months and doesn't talk yet. He says a few words but he's not goin to town with them. I think it's pretty normal, as long as they understand what you're saying.

Amanda - posted on 01/06/2010

One of my boys is 21 months and still has not develpoped a lot of language skills - he says a couple of words and thats it - but I'm not too worried - my eldest was slow to talk and believe me - he doesnt stop now! Try not to worry - and remember this quiet time in about 6 months from now when he's talking your ear off!

Kim - posted on 01/06/2010

i know so MANY moms that are so worried about their sons not speaking. the health unit gives them this guideline about well they should be speaking by a certain age, and it leaves these moms paranoid! each of them wondered if they should put them in speech class.

BUT, if they just waited, they would realize kids develop at different times and don't worry about it. personally i would only be concerned if he was ready for school. but even in kindergarten the other kids can bring them up to their full potential.

i know a little guy who wouldn't speak for the longest time. (smart as a whip). and now he wont stop!

Karen - posted on 01/06/2010

If he was Autistic he wouldn't be responding with laughter. Every child is different and will do things at their own pace. 16 months isn't so late to start talking and he's understanding you and babbling away so he'll get there soon.

Amanda - posted on 01/06/2010

Okay for 1, do not let people tell you right away that he could be autistic....I really hate how people right away jump to that conclusion just because a child is quiet...as for the talking part...if he is understanding you and doing the command you give him...I really would not worry...when I was 20 my parents adopted my twin little sisters so I watched them grow up.

I would say right now in there life...they will be 3 this month...that they started to really do a good job talking...there problem though is they mix the arabic and the english which gets us confused in their sentences....but either way I would not worry about your son....what you should do is put him in a day care type setting for once or twice a week to let him interact with other children...he will talk on his own eventually.