Circle of Moms is not what I thought it would be.

Lee-Ann - posted on 07/27/2009

I think because this has so many members that unfortunately we will come across some bad eggs, but think of it like a garden, pay attention to the roses and weed out the interfering bad plants. :) Best of luck.

Wendy - posted on 07/26/2009

If you really don't like circle of moms, try cafe'mom. I'm also on that one, and I love it!

Alison - posted on 07/26/2009

Debating moms is good for respectable debate without all the mud slinging. There are also pleanty of other smaller communities on COMs that might be better if you need advice or support. The welcome page is fun, but not for support or advice because you are likely to get 200 different views every time you ask a question.

Michelle - posted on 07/26/2009

I joined for the same reason as you gals. Hey maybe someone should have a site just for moms to vent. Is there one like that already? Just a thought. I have two kids, 7 and 4, one was premature. So if anyone has questions, etc. feel free to ask. Thanks.

~Jennifer - posted on 07/25/2009

We have a great community - Debating Mums. No Drama, good topics, and people that reply to the topic without attacking the person. I believe there have only been 2 incidents in our community and both were handled swiftly and professionally. We have VERY active Admin & Mods and regulars that help to keep the community running smoothly without the drama. They don't let anything slip by. Moms speak to each other as friends and 'colleagues' in a frank (yes, you may see some 4 letter words...) and personable manner, voicing their opinions and discussing the pros / cons without the name calling and attacks on parenting differences. I highly recommend coming over and checking it out - but please familiarize yourself with the 'rules' first. We have a quickly expanding community, and I think that it reflects quite nicely the spirit in which COM's was intended to be utilized. Hope you'll check us out!





http://apps.facebook.com/circleofmoms/gr...

~Jenn~

Christine - posted on 07/25/2009

I have'nt been on here long, dont know if you've been on cafemom yet. They are ruthless!

Mona - posted on 07/25/2009

I'm really sorry to hear some of you having a bad expirence.
I am so glad I came here. I have had a great expirence. I have been helped and encouraged.
If you are in need of help/understanding/encouragement please don't leave Circle of Moms. Instead look for another Community to join or start your own.
I hope you will stay and find the support you're looking for.
Mona - http://moremilestones.blogspot.com

Lisa - posted on 07/25/2009

I joined for the same reason you did. It's good that you don't let the negativity be something contagious to you. Maybethe negative people need the most help of all. I'll try to respond appropriately with something postive and hopful. Thanks for bringing this up. A cheerful heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22

Lorraine - posted on 07/24/2009

Oh honey, please do not be despondent, there are some people that just want to be right, and then there are moms that just want to help. Hang in there dear and ignore the silly ones. if you need help you ask and there will be a flurry of experienced Moms out there that will help. Love to you and your bubs ...Lorraine XX

Jennifer - posted on 07/24/2009

Did you join Cafe Mom (cafemom.com). Most of the stuff on there is helpful. Don't get me wrong though, there's still bashing and stuff like that though.

Isobel - posted on 07/24/2009

There's a thread right now about the fact that the administration is gone, these threads are apparently not supposed to go on as long as they do and people are not supposed to be able to say such hurtful things.

I find it helpful to avoid any thread with more than 20 answers...it's usually a big fight.

I have seen the other side though...there are some really helpful lovely people out there.

Shana - posted on 07/24/2009

I am so proud of you for getting the help that you need. It takes a strong person to actually admit that they have a mental illness and see treatment. I hope the program works well for you and your family. I would be honest with her, children are so much smarter than we sometimes give them credit for. If you discuss it sooner, this will giveher time to process it, ask you questions, and understand whats going on so she doesn't become ansxious about it. Some pictures of the facility may help. Stay involved with your therapy and continue to take your meds. I hope the best for you and your family.

Lesli - posted on 07/24/2009

The way we raise our children is a touchy subject. We're protective over our children and like to believe that what we're doing is the right thing (often it is- there are just alternatives that other people might prefer) People don't like to hear other people discouraging the way they choose to raise their kiddos, so they defend their parenting style. In any forum that discusses touchy subjects --as parenting is-- is going to cause controversy.

Sharyn - posted on 07/24/2009

you always get the rotten eggs, you need to ignore them and focus on why the other mothers and you are here ..... to share information about our kids and how to make life easier for us and them by sharing tips and advice ...

Shana - posted on 07/24/2009

Erica and April,

Thanks for the advice. You both had some good ideas that I'll probably be using. Much appreciated!

Kimberley - posted on 07/24/2009

Good for you for getting treatment! Remember that one of the greatest gifts you can give your daughter is a healthy mom. Taking that first step to get help is the hardest, but the most important! What you're doing will not only help you, but your daughter, for the rest of your lives. Wishing you all the best.

Jennica - posted on 07/24/2009

I joined this site thinking that I would be receiving the same thing. I hope that I am right and this is just a minor setback. I would hate for this to just be a waste of my time. I also think that it is a great idea and maybe if the ones who want the site to work, work together, the site will get better...so if you need anything and I can be of help just let me know. Thanks! and I would like the same in return! have a nice night!

Tiffany - posted on 07/24/2009

www.mamasource.com is really great site for moms. Very encouraging,

well designed and easy to nagivagte..Try that one and see if you like it better...

Tiffany

Stephanie - posted on 07/24/2009

I'm also a member on the WebMD website and it is amazing! I'm currently on the 3rd trimester board but they have all kinds from trying to concieve to mothers (and sometimes fathers) with older children. You should check it out!

Sandra - posted on 07/24/2009

Everyone has given really good advice about this group. Hope to see you around.

April - posted on 07/24/2009

With an Soldier for a husband, I can relate to be the one left behind with the kids as well as how my kids will react to long seperations from a parent, so I will give advice from both angles...Make sure that you parents now all the routine that daughter is used to now to make it both easier for her and your parents. Buy a special stuff doll or something that is just for her to hug and cuddle with when she if missing you...if you can record a message for her to listen to as well will help her by just hearing simply that you love and miss her while you are gone. Make sure that special treats are set aside such as a zoo visit or favorite park for when she really is feeling blue with you gone...as for when to tell her, simply put a calander together and sit down...show her how much special time is still left before you leave and this is the day we will do a special activity that we will do again when I return....speak to as open as you can about why you have to leave and that you plan to come back when your 'mission' is done! Then show her a new calander of how she can mark the time apart and she can see it is not going to be forever! I hope that helps and the best of luck to you and your family!

Having lived with a parent with deep depression, I want to give you a big hug for getting the help you need...this will be even a present to your daughter for a healthy Mom is always a great way to show her how much you care!

Ellen - posted on 07/24/2009

Sorry to hear but so far I think its not that bad, I guess you just find the "right" thread. For the most part I think members are really helpful and sincere about sharing their experiences and giving advice to fellow parent/guardians. Good Luck...

Erica - posted on 07/24/2009

Hi Shana

I can relate. As some who has suffered with depression over the years the best thing to do is to tell your daughter you are taking a sabbatical. I am sure she wont understand the word sabbatical but in your case and your program treatment that is what it may seem like to others. You are taking the time out of your day to day life to address these issues. You don't need to explain the full details of your program to her until she is older and even starts to come into her own especially around puberty when she is most likely to display her emotions. Depression and mental health issues can run in the family and its best when she is older to help her understand. Right now she is eight and she should enjoy the time she can with her grandparents without the worry that mommy is in a program. I wish you all the best.

Shana - posted on 07/24/2009

I'm pleasantly surprised by this thread and how encouraging it is. Maybe I will stay. Thanks to everyone who has a made a comment here. It's nice to know people do care. As far as what I need advice on, I'm not too sure if most moms can relate. My biggest issue right now is dealing with mental health issues. I have borderline personality disorder and major depression. In October I'm going to an in-patient treatment program that is about 2 hours away from where I live. It's a 3 month program but, thankfully, I come home on weekends. Because I'm a single parent my daughter, who will be 8 in October, will be living with my parents during the week. I need advise on when to tell her about it. If I tell her now she may have time to adjust to the idea or she may just worry about it for the next 2 months. So, do I tell her now or closer to when I'm going. Also, any ideas on how I can make it easier for her while I am gone would be great.

Thanks again for all your encouraging messages :-)

Kellie - posted on 07/24/2009

Try babyfit.com - it's an amazing website with groups to fit your needs (location groups, birth groups, bfing groups, diapering groups, etc.). I love it!

Erin - posted on 07/24/2009

I think that all message boards are that way. There is always a group of people putting others down. Just ignore their comments and take the info you need from the boards. Hopefully if everyone just ignores them they will go away.

Shana - posted on 07/24/2009

In reply,

Flag as inappropriate Are you sure? Yes | No Posted by Lori Sargent Ouderkirk (5:38 pm)

Hi! I too am new to circle of moms. Although I have joined the communities that have controversial issues, I have also joined communities centered around moms just like me. I try very hard to use the appropriate sites for expressing my opinions and to use the sites without those intentions to impart my experiences. Why cant we share our experiences with each other without imparting our opinions and judgements? That's not what most of these sites were originated for, and it isnt helpful to the moms who are truely reaching out for help. Ultimately every decision parents make is theirs alone, and there are no right or wrong choices. If we just remember that we are all moms with the same goal of doing what's best for OUR children, then maybe we will have a little more respect for each other..Those of us with several children, especially as they get older, know that every child is different, even siblings can be VERY different little people! And, if children are different, then how can any one answer or set of circumstances pertain to every child? Try not to take it personally, there's still so much of value and so much to learn from on here, even for seaoned veterans like myself.





I AGREE FULLY WITH YOU AND CONGRAT ON THE TWINS! i HAVE TWINS TO! I THINK THEY ARE SO MUCH EASIER WHILE THEY ARE SMALL. LOL. best wished.

Lori - posted on 07/24/2009

Hi! I too am new to circle of moms. Although I have joined the communities that have controversial issues, I have also joined communities centered around moms just like me. I try very hard to use the appropriate sites for expressing my opinions and to use the sites without those intentions to impart my experiences. Why cant we share our experiences with each other without imparting our opinions and judgements? That's not what most of these sites were originated for, and it isnt helpful to the moms who are truely reaching out for help. Ultimately every decision parents make is theirs alone, and there are no right or wrong choices. If we just remember that we are all moms with the same goal of doing what's best for OUR children, then maybe we will have a little more respect for each other..Those of us with several children, especially as they get older, know that every child is different, even siblings can be VERY different little people! And, if children are different, then how can any one answer or set of circumstances pertain to every child? Try not to take it personally, there's still so much of value and so much to learn from on here, even for seaoned veterans like myself.

--- - posted on 07/24/2009

well what do you need advice on?
I have found the site to be helpful for the most part with a few negative nellies. just report them and move on

Shana - posted on 07/24/2009

I have not been on here that long and I agree. I have stopped reading alot of the threads and try to give unbiased advice based on my experience, journals I have read, my degrees, and the nursing degree I am working on now. I figure....just maybe the person asking the question or the person also in need but doesn't want to ask will benefit from the positive response I left. Try not to allow the people who leave negativity to stop you from leaving something that just may help the person in need.

Erica - posted on 07/24/2009

I have joined circle of moms and to be honest I have found it to be better than other internet baby sites such as baby center. The trick to circle of moms is finding your "circle" that fits into your views or where you might find helpful advice. Ignore those whose opinions maybe offensive to you and are immature. They are not 'you' and you are a woman who is doing what is best for you and your child. No one else. The saying that it takes a village to raise a child is absolutely ludcrious when it comes to internet sites. It takes GREAT parents to raise a child with love, respect and honor regardless of what other people may think on how to raise that child.

Shana - posted on 07/24/2009

We get what we give, in life, with our children, and online posts as well. lol. But mostly I have always found there to many more helpful, caring women on Circle of Moms,than not. So keep checking you'll find what your looking for. Good luck.

Robbie - posted on 07/24/2009

Hi, I've only been on for a week or so and I've had some help. I hope it doesn't end up being a bad thing.

Kirsten - posted on 07/24/2009

My own little litmus test for whether a comment will usually contain helpful information vs just trash talk is to look at the spelling and grammar. It seems to never fail that if you're using words like "dat" and don't know how to properly punctuate a sentence then you're probably wasting your time having a ridiculous argument that no one cares about anyway.

Simone - posted on 07/24/2009

I agree with Madi and Kylie. These controversial issues always cause heated discussions and I keep well away from them.

Madi - posted on 07/24/2009

Oh I knew there was more that I was forgetting!! Thank you :) Oh yes and of course alcohol while pregnant and smoking. Those are always fantastic.
I have found staying away from those topics improves this much much more!

Kylie - posted on 07/24/2009

don't forget co-sleeping, immunization and circumcision Madi :)

Madi - posted on 07/24/2009

Oh, another one that people love to force their opinion upon is when their kids started solids.

Kimberley - posted on 07/24/2009

I think most of the responses I've seen are helpful. If you're looking for hard and fast answers, then you might be disappointed, I agree. But I think that's because with parenting there are no absolutely correct all the time answers! So a lot of what you'll see is people sharing their experiences and opinions. I'm not sure what you were looking for, but remember that most of us here are just parents sharing what we know and have learned in our own lives.

Madi - posted on 07/24/2009

Usually the things on here are really helpful. You just have to avoid the big topics such as
Breastfeeding vs. formula
Breastfeeding toddlers and older children
Crying it out method
Spanking
those are the topics that seem to get a bit more heated.

Simone - posted on 07/24/2009

I'm really sorry to hear that you've been disapointed with the site. Fortunately I have received really useful advise from other mums and hope I've managed to help other mums along the way. We should be supporting each other, but sadly I admit lately I have seen some really nasty comments sent between mums that can cause a lot of hurt and upset to some one who is genuinally asking for help.

I really hope you continue to use the site as there are plenty of us out there who really need help from people like you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kylie - posted on 07/24/2009

perhaps join a smaller community on here.. i find this main COM community is a lot less supportive than others I've joined. I love getting and giving help, making friends and i also enjoy giving my opinion on the heated issues, I've actually found this site to be pretty addictive. each to their own.

Sue - posted on 07/24/2009

Please stay. This site is great, the topics that seem to get heated are personal choice ones other then that its an awesome site. My daughter is 11 and I still find help here

April - posted on 07/24/2009

Unfortunatly, there are people that haven't grown up yet or there daily life is very stressful and they feel the need to vent on these sites. The thing I do is make a mental note and say a little prayer for them. I am a mommy of 4 so if you have questions you can ask me. I also have some good recipies and tips from my own experiences.

Heather - posted on 07/24/2009

I agree with Sharon. So far I have only read helpful and encouraging comments.

Sharon - posted on 07/24/2009

Really? I don't see that. 99% of what I read are moms helping moms. There are a few issues here and there but "mostly"? Not by my count. Some things are always going to be controversial and there are always people who enjoy drama and pity.

Amanda - posted on 07/24/2009

I find it helpful seeing what other moms do, especially in the December 2008 community because that is when my son was born. I started a post and got ideas on meal schedules and thought it was great! I do find however that people can be rude on here and VERY strong about their opinions. But I just don't mind it and read on, sometimes I find it humorous and get a good laugh out of how childish some people can be. But other than that love this site :) I try and help when I can but I am a first time mom myself so I probably don't know a whole lot yet, learning as I go!

Michelle - posted on 07/24/2009

Oh great I just joined because a friend sent me a request lol

Nicole - posted on 07/24/2009

No matter where you go, you're going to find people bashing people, with random bits of helpfulness thrown in occassionally. It seems to be the way the human race works. Sad, but true. The trick is to ignore the dipsticks, and try to find the posts with some value. I've actually found a lot of helpful information on here, and it helps to have people to talk to that are going through the same things with the same interests. I try to help where I can, even though I'm not that experienced yet, since my son is not even 3 months yet. I hope you can get past the bad and find the good in circle of moms. Or if you decide not to come anymore, find another place that can give you the advice and support (or help you give) what you're looking for.

Holly - posted on 07/24/2009

i have found i always get answers to my posts and they are quite helpful so i have been pleased sorry you havent been