Clingy 16 month old 40 weeks pregnant!

Amanda - posted on 07/14/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I have a clingy 16 month old baby girl and i am 40 weeks pregnant how do i deal with it all!!! I am very nervous and scared i can't even leave the room with out the 16 month old screaming she wont even do anything with her dad she has been to daycare and is used to being away from me but when i am home she has to be on top of me PLEASE HELP

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Sara - posted on 11/29/2013

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sara heck

I am in the same boat, I am 2 months pregnant and my 1 year old son knows it and is always clinging to me,he always has to be right on top of me....sometimes it gets to be to much for me so I have to stop and take a deep breath...I cant even do anything without my son screaming....I have a strong bond with my son and he is always very happy except for when I leave the room then he gets very upset......

Cindy - posted on 07/24/2009

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Guys I'm not harsh, I'm blunt. If you're offended by my posts e-mail me and we can discuss it together. I'm not mean, I'm not a horrible mom. I have 30 years of Experience with Children and Parents. I have seen alot more then you know.



13 people responded with similar post to what I said. They just sugar coated it.



I hope all of you have Super Days.

Virginia - posted on 07/15/2009

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Everything is gonna be just fine!!!!!!Honey u r almost due and of course ur worried.I got pregnant with my last daughter when my oldest girl was 11 months old so I know how u r feeling.She clung onto me just like ur daughter does to you.Everything is gonna be just fine I promise.Take these last couple of days u have alone with ur lil one and just enjoy it and enjoy being pregnant.because it will go by fast.

Amanda - posted on 07/15/2009

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Try making taking care of the new baby a game that she'll want to help in. Get her a doll or take her fav one and play mommy with her. Maybe she'll give you more room if you give her more things to do. Tell her I'm going to do the dishes, you should do your baby's dishes, we'll be done at the same time! Heck you might even get some good help out of it!

Susan - posted on 07/15/2009

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Going through the same thing!! (23 month old son, who is an absolute mommy's boy!, and I am 32 weeks pregnant). It is nice to have reassurance sometimes that it is not just my son. ;-) I went to a "siblings class" at a local children's play center. Unfortunately I missed most of the class, but it they did have some good advice and good activities for the siblings to be. They talked to the sibling about what babies will do (i.e. CRY, POOP, SLEEP) and how mommy has to take care of the baby and then they had the sibling "practice" giving the "baby" (doll) a bottle and a pacifier. They also had the sibling help diaper and swaddle the"baby" (doll). I just purchased the Graco baby doll set that included a doll stroller and baby carrier that I am going to break out once the baby arrives for him to play with. He loves pushing around play strollers!!! One other thing they suggested is putting together baggies of their favorite toys or snacks so that you can give them a "gift" when someone comes over to visit the new baby and to make sure you shower them with attention even though the guest maybe more focused on your infant. Common sense stuff, but always helpful when we are mixed up with baby brains and emotions lol. Good Luck!!

Kate - posted on 07/15/2009

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She knows what's coming. My almost 18-mo.-old has been the same way for the last few weeks (I'm 38.5 weeks pregnant). Just pay as much attention to her now as you can, and when the baby comes keep her involved with you as much as possible. She can sit with you while you feed the baby, get a diaper for you, help hold the baby, etc. Think about getting her her own "baby" to take care of while you take care of yours, and keep talking to her. We are doing all these things. We also have made sure grandparents have visited a lot so that DD feels comfortable with them (she does) so that if I need a break, they can come and take her for awhile. It has been really nice when they've visited and they are all ready to come as soon as we call.

Katrina - posted on 07/15/2009

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My 15month old baby girl is the same way...and I'm not pregnant. I think that maybe it comes with their age/stage in life. She cries everytime I leave the room or drop her off at grandma's in the morning. She doesn't really want anything to do with daddy either. She is right under me...like a shadow when we are at home. It might just be a stage she's going through. Just take a deep breath and I'm sure it will all work out. Also since your getting ready for baby number 2...make it a big adventure for her. Like now that she's going to be big sister she got to be a big girl and be mommy's helper. Let her try and do things that would "help" with the new baby. That might help out a little.

Neisha - posted on 07/15/2009

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You shouldn't worry so much. My oldest daughter did that for months before our 2nd daughter was born. She did instinctively feel my apprehension. The way we handled it was making sure I spent real "quality" time with her one-on-one. It can be anything from playing games, reading books, singing, rocking, etc... whatever relaxes you and she enjoys. Also the screaming when you leave is normal for that age without pregnancy complicating things. You just have to reassure her that you love her and she will have fun without you. I would suggest not leaving her in a room alone, but having her help you with whatever chore you need to do if you are up and moving. She can pick something up and give it to you to help or cook with her utensils at your feet while you cook. No matter what you do, you will be without "me" time while she's up unless you leave her with someone. Unfortunately, that's part of this stage. However, I can tell you from experience that it will pass!! My daughters are now 2 and 4 with a third on the way. They love each other tremendously. My oldest was protective of her sister from the moment she saw her in the hospital. I have no doubt that it will be the same with the new one.

Enjoy the cuddle time with your oldest before the baby arrives. It will be more difficult to get that one-on-one time in for a while. Store it up for both of you while you can. Also, do everything you can to not fret or stress over silly things. I've found that some things can be overlooked for a time without doing irreparable harm. Relax, you can do this and it will work out fine. I hope this helps!

WendiLee - posted on 07/15/2009

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Amanda, you are a wonderful mother. My best "advice" to you is to take care of YOU. You will be no good to either of the children if you don't. Do what you can to get a break, get some rest, go outside and take a deep breath of fresh air. You are a good mommy, you know what to do. Take care yourself and trust your instincts for they are more right than any advice you can get here.

Michele - posted on 07/15/2009

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I don't have any advice for you, but I wanted to let you know that I am dealing with a very similar thing with a 15 month old and being 30 weeks pregnant. Know you are not alone! : )

Monica - posted on 07/14/2009

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I think it is just a phase. There is a lot of changes going on around her. My oldest two are 23 months apart and my oldest son did the same thing. I even almost had him potty trained until I had my daughter. At this age all they know is they had mommy to themselves and now they are going to have to share. After I had my daughter, I let my son sit next to me and i put her in his lap while i was still holding her, but he thought he was holding his sister and it helped a lot. Good luck and I hope this helps some. I know it is hard to have her screaming when you leave the room.

Laura - posted on 07/14/2009

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Hey Amanda don't sweat it she will ajust and you will do fine. She has had alot going on around her that she is figureing out. Just be there for her and include her in everything. Hang in there it will get better.

Therese - posted on 07/14/2009

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IMO, your daughter may be going through a phase due to her age, or she could be sensitive to the pregnancy. It's really hard for toddlers to understand what's causing the changes with their mom, and she may be trying to get you back to the mom she used to know. Chances are she'll grow out of it in a few months, though it may get worse when she becomes a big sister and has to share her mommy with a screaming thing.

Cherie - posted on 07/14/2009

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I think you shuold have mom and daughter time you say she in daycare she's fine but at home she not, she just won't a little attention after all she was the only child for a while but spend time with her let her know she has a little sister or brother coming and the baby needs your time as well as her and after the baby let her help and participate in helping the baby so she won't feel left out and she get to spend time with you too but don't just ignore her she is still a child not yet two and probably didn't get all the attention cause of your pregnancy so be patience with her this is new to her she will adjust

Amanda - posted on 07/14/2009

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I think you may be a bit harsh to ppl you are saying things that i never said or had happened you should watch what u say!

Amanda - posted on 07/14/2009

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Quoting Cindy:

Well. It's time to stop being controlled by her. You're the boss, and you have #2 on it's way. If she's been to day care and was not kicked out, then it's all a controlling act.

Daddy is going to have to step up to the plate and remove her from your site. Ever heard of "Daddy daughter days". Daddy needs to take her away from the house starting now. Just the two of them. It doesn't matter if she has a fit. She needs to bond with Daddy "before" you give birth.
Worst case - she might hurt your new baby (for attention) or she'll drive you to insanity with her needing you.

You think I'm nutts, but honestly she needs to love her Daddy. They can go to a park for 20 mins every 2nd day. Or he can take her for an ice cream. If he can get her to help him with "Stuff" she will stop needing you 24/7.
When she learns how great TWO parents are she will be less clingy to you and the screaming will stop.

Unfortunately you have to stop running back to her when she cries. Make sure she has toys, then say "I have to go change the baby". Fold your arms and turn your back on her. Walk away. Let her cry. Start with 2 minutes before you return and see if you can trust her up to 15. You need to be able to tend to your new baby with out her throwing herself on you and the new one. If she's a smart cookie she'll get to the point where she will help you take care of the new baby. (I don't know if you use a playpen, but you might have to.)
(You might have to buy a doll and change the doll. When new baby comes She gets the dolly and you have the baby. Together you change your babies.)

Good luck.


 

Amanda - posted on 07/14/2009

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Hi everyone well my daughter is fine spending time with Daddy when i am not around thre is no problem adn my husbadn does step up to the plate adn she is fine at day care it is jsut when i am around adn its been for months now that she is clingy and i don't run to her when she cries but sometimes it gets so bad she throws up trust me i am sure i am doing the right things!!!! and we are TWO parents

Cindy - posted on 07/14/2009

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Well. It's time to stop being controlled by her. You're the boss, and you have #2 on it's way. If she's been to day care and was not kicked out, then it's all a controlling act.



Daddy is going to have to step up to the plate and remove her from your site. Ever heard of "Daddy daughter days". Daddy needs to take her away from the house starting now. Just the two of them. It doesn't matter if she has a fit. She needs to bond with Daddy "before" you give birth.

Worst case - she might hurt your new baby (for attention) or she'll drive you to insanity with her needing you.



You think I'm nutts, but honestly she needs to love her Daddy. They can go to a park for 20 mins every 2nd day. Or he can take her for an ice cream. If he can get her to help him with "Stuff" she will stop needing you 24/7.

When she learns how great TWO parents are she will be less clingy to you and the screaming will stop.



Unfortunately you have to stop running back to her when she cries. Make sure she has toys, then say "I have to go change the baby". Fold your arms and turn your back on her. Walk away. Let her cry. Start with 2 minutes before you return and see if you can trust her up to 15. You need to be able to tend to your new baby with out her throwing herself on you and the new one. If she's a smart cookie she'll get to the point where she will help you take care of the new baby. (I don't know if you use a playpen, but you might have to.)

(You might have to buy a doll and change the doll. When new baby comes She gets the dolly and you have the baby. Together you change your babies.)



Good luck.

Rowenia - posted on 07/14/2009

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i have a twenty month old and a eight month old,they say your child senses everything including change and with you expecting anyday now she could be just sensing it alot of people where saying that to me.my babies get on so well together and so will yours your daughter will be fine when the baby comes just involve her in things i know she is only ababy herself but my twenty mth old does not hit or lash out  at the baby thank god.your daughter will get out of the clingyness.the best of luck with your new baby.take care.

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