Corporal Punishment(aka spanking)

Leah - posted on 09/24/2009 ( 27 moms have responded )

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i know that this is a very controversial subject for moms on this site. feel free to post your opinions or beliefs if u want. i created this post mainly to clear up the fact that spanking moderately is NOT child abuse(in the state i live in) as i have heard on here many times. i am posting the laws on spanking for Arkansas in this thread because that is the state i live in and posting for every state would take up too much space. i am also posting a link for the laws o spanking in other US states so that you can view the laws in your area to see if spanking is considered abuse where u live. i haven't found sites for the other countries laws yet but if i do i will post those on here also.

Arkansas law:

Arkansas

[Arkansas Code Statutes]

Abuse does not include physical discipline of a child if reasonable and moderate and inflicted by a parent or guardian for restraining or correcting a child. Listed as not reasonable or moderate for correcting or restraining: -- Throwing, kicking, burning, biting, cutting, striking with a closed fist, shaking a child under 3, striking or other actions which result in any non-accidental injury to a child less than 18 months, interfering with a child's breathing, threatening a child with a deadly weapon, striking a child on the face, or any other act that is likely to cause bodily harm greater than transient pain or minor temporary marks. [Statute says this is an illustrative and not exclusive list]. Age, size, condition of the child, and the location of the injury and frequency or recurrence of injuries shall be considered in determining "reasonable" or "moderate."
§ 9-27-303(B). [Civil Code]

Parent/teacher/guardian/other with care and supervision of a minor may use reasonable and appropriate physical force when and to the extent reasonably necessary to maintain discipline or promote the welfare of the child.
§ 5-2-605(l). [Criminal Code]
If the belief that the force is necessary is a reckless or negligent belief, than the above offers no defense to a crime if the culpability of that crime is proven by showing recklessness or negligence.

Justification is not available if person recklessly or negligently injured or created a substantial risk of injury to a person.
§ 5-2-614. [Criminal Code]

Link for other US states:
http://kidjacked.com/legal/spanking_law....

u may have to copy and paste this link into the address bar to view it. after u get to this site just choose ur state to view the laws.


thank u all for visiting this thread. remember the way u discipline ur children is your decision. do not let anyone else's opinion discourage u from being a good parent to ur child. all children are different and have to be disciplined in different ways. u know ur child best. some kids need spankings some don't. and most important, do not make someone else feel bad because of their decision. those of us who do spank do not criticize u or tell u that u are wrong for not spanking ur child, so those of u who dont spank who r often quick to criticize: state ur opinion, but do not criticize. thank u all and remember, keep it civil in this thread. please do not get nasty or hateful that just makes more work for the moderators. be respectful!!!

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Lisa - posted on 09/25/2009

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Quoting Tamara:

I personally don't agree with striking a child, whether or not its in anger. There is also a growing body of literature that shows detrimental effects of spanking long after the spanking has ceased. Over 93% of the studies done on the subject agree that spanking harms a child socially, developmentally, and physically.

http://www.nospank.net/n-j31.htm






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and any of those resources would have been derived from Dr. Benjamin Spock (the 'Father of Permissiveness') and his original research of the adverse effects spanking has on a child. These are the statistics and views of parents who don't believe in spanking (an open handed pat on a child's behind). However, what these studies don't show is that Dr. Spock's own grandson committed suicide at the young age of 22. I'm not saying that if you don't spank your child that they're going to commit suicide; another Dr named John B. Watson (the notably harsh but popular behavioral psychologist, who combined rigorous views on child care with a dire estimation of the dangers of motherly affection) had a son who committed suicide at the age of 40. So, doesn't this show that a child can still end up 'damaged' either way? spanked or not?



My belief on this topic is that a parent needs to discipline their child in the way that is suitable to that child. I like the way that Kim put it: ‘In fact I learned early on that my middle child was so stubborn spanking was inaffective for her. She would be determined not to cry. With her whole focus on not crying, it was as if she won this battle. Much more effective talking to this one. When her wrong doing was pointed out to her and she was made to understand the possible effects, THEN she would cry. Every child is different.’



The important thing is to spend time with your children and let them know that they matter in this world and to you. Whichever methods you use for discipline, please always discuss with your child what the reasons are for you disciplining them are, because nothing is more confusing to a child than being spanked or told to go in a time out and never knowing or understanding why.



Leah - posted on 09/25/2009

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ok ppl one last time GINA FULLERTON THIS IS MAINLY FOR U!!! i haveask for ppl not to be disrespectful and u continue to do so. i understand and respect ur opinion, but that does not give u the right to call other parents failures. just bcuz we choose to discipline differently does not make us failures. no one is calling u a failure just bcuz u dont spank ur child. and there is a very BIG difference in HITTING and SPANKING. u can read the law in the original post if u dont believe me. so for the last time if u can not be a respectful, civil adult u will be reported. if u can not state ur opinion respectfully then keep ur big mouth shut!! thank u

also i would like for u to read Caryn Payne's post:

"I would like to say it falls partially on how the parents were raised and patially on the child. I was spanked growing up, not very often, but when I needed it. I have one daughter who is 21 months. She has rec'd open hand spanking on her rear end. She is still in diapers so it does not physically hurt her. And at 21 months so is not old enough to "talk" to about what she has done. There just starts to be too many words for her to understand all at once. She does understand the 1,2,3 system and knows that if she does not stop by 3 she will get a tap on the diaper and have to sit for one minute in her time out chair. At this age.... I believe that is what works for us."

not all children are old enough to understand when u explain things to them.

Camille - posted on 09/25/2009

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Here in New Zealand they passed a law only a year ago that you could be done for abuse for spanking your child. This law was put forward and pushed through by a member of parliment who has no children of her own... typical. The whole nation was up in arms about it since the majority of us thought the law was a bad idea. Some months ago the country held an opinion poll on the matter and an astonishing 80% odd voted for the law to be abolished.

Caryn - posted on 09/25/2009

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I would like to say it falls partially on how the parents were raised and patially on the child. I was spanked growing up, not very often, but when I needed it. I have one daughter who is 21 months. She has rec'd open hand spanking on her rear end. She is still in diapers so it does not physically hurt her. And at 21 months so is not old enough to "talk" to about what she has done. There just starts to be too many words for her to understand all at once. She does understand the 1,2,3 system and knows that if she does not stop by 3 she will get a tap on the diaper and have to sit for one minute in her time out chair. At this age.... I believe that is what works for us.

Kelli - posted on 09/25/2009

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I don't have a problem with spanking. But I think that spanking is really only warranted when the child does something to endanger themselves repeatedly. Otherwise, I can talk to my daughter and get her to understand why what she did was wrong.

Me and my brother were spanked as children and we didn't have any adverse effects of it. But every child is different, what may work for one will not work for another. It is just depending on what your child will respond to. But I would never condone beating a child, or spanking in anger. That is wrong. But a few smacks on the butt is not going to hurt anyone, much less the child, it will just make them think twice about doing it again.

But I would never try to tell anyone how to raise their child. I have no problems with how anyone disciplines their children as long as they don't beat them.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

27 Comments

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Anne-Marie - posted on 09/26/2009

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im from australia and here it is illegal to smack your child. i believe that a smack isnt going to do the child any harm. i got smacked as a child and i turned out perfectly fine. i do believe that there is nothing wrong with it as long as no physical marks are left. but i also believ that it can also encourage your child to hit so yoiu have to be very carefull.

Alyssa - posted on 09/25/2009

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I was raised in a home where spankings occurred when we needed them. Never out of anger and we were always hugged and comforted once it was done. Now that my husband and I have a child it has become even more evident that the point of spanking is not "punishment" but discipline. I want to be able to tell my "no" and know that he will listen. Not because I want to control him, but because if he's facing danger, listening to my voice may be what will keep him safe. He's not old enough to spank yet, but at 7 months old he knows enough to listen when momma says "no" especially since he's also crawling and doesn't know what will or won't hurt him.

[deleted account]

i very rarely smack my son, if he does something extremely naughty i will smack him on the bottom but not overly hard, i put him in the naughty corner for 3 min or i take away a fav toy them i will sit down and talk to him about what he has done wrong it works for me.

Tamara - posted on 09/25/2009

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I personally don't agree with striking a child, whether or not its in anger. There is also a growing body of literature that shows detrimental effects of spanking long after the spanking has ceased. Over 93% of the studies done on the subject agree that spanking harms a child socially, developmentally, and physically.

http://solutions.psu.edu/Child_Youth_Dev...
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/09/16/spa...
http://www.cyc-net.org/cyc-online/cycol-...
http://scholar.google.com/scholar?start=...
http://74.125.113.132/search?q=cache:gyR...
http://www.nospank.net/n-j31.htm

Priscilla - posted on 09/25/2009

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you say it gonna get ugly well it ugly

Between:



Gina Fullerton

I DONT CARE HOW YOU SEE ME I SEE THIS SUBJECT AS IT IS IF YOU HIT YOUR CHILDREN YOU ARE A FAILER AS A PARENT YES YOU are there are many other ways you can have your children obey you ....... PEOPLE ARE NOT FOR HITTING thank you boston greatest mom ....... GINA THE NON HITTING PARENT .... HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND .... ILL PRAY FOR YOU ......







Priscilla Wilson

an i will pray for you. maybe you should read your bible a lil bit. i am far from bein a failure an i dont HIT my child i spank her.. BIG difference

Tanya - posted on 09/25/2009

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I was spanked as a child, not abused spanked open handed on the butt.. I've turned out fine.. I was not traumatized in anyway nor do I feel haunted by thoes spankings. When I was out of line or did something I really shouldn't have I knew I was going to get spanked did it stop me from doing things I don't think so but I knew it was part of how my parents punished my brother, sister and I and that was excepted but again I was not abused there is a difference. I choose not to spank that is my choice as a parent and I don't think I hold the right to judge anyone else for spanking thier child I have friends who do it and also family members that is thier parenting style. Us parents make tons of hard desisions when raising our children this is just one of them...

Kim - posted on 09/25/2009

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Never spank or dicipline in anger only with love. If you are angry about a childs actions or behavior, send them to their room and say You think about the punishment you will get when i get in there. Then take your time to be sure you are cooled off completely. This way there is only love. no anger. Remember when your parent would say "This hurts me more than it hurts you"? This is as it should be. I used to get so upset with my dad for saying that till the first time I actually had to punish my child. I think I cried more than they did. Thank God my children did not require much of this. In fact I learned early on that my middle child was so stubborn spanking was inaffective for her. She would be determined not to cry. With her whole focus on not crying, it was as if she won this battle. Much more effective talking to this one. When her wrong doing was pointed out to her and she was made to understand the possible effects, THEN she would cry. Every child is different. Third child.....O.K., I admit it, she's spoilt, but hey, she is my last one and she is still a great kid.

Priscilla - posted on 09/25/2009

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an if you jus walk away from everything your kid does you are jus lettimn them kno they can do watever an all your gonna do is walk away. do you want your kid runnin wild? i dont. wen you spank your kids right you make sure they know why they are gettin a spankin

Priscilla - posted on 09/25/2009

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yes it prolly will get ugly. an its prolly gone start now. I dont get on here an tell those of you who DONT spank your children. i dont tell you YOU ARE WRONG OR A FAILURE!! i personally got spankings as a child an by the time i was 5 i didnt get spankings now more. i an my sister were both very well behaved. i AM VERY THANKFUL that my parents spanked me. it DOES NOT MAKE YOU WRONG OR A FAILURE by SPANKING or NOT SPANKING your child. evry parent an child is different. its up to you to decide wat to do wit your kids. telling people they are wrong or are a failure IS WRONG. i dont believe in beating children. spanking on tha butt IS NOT BEATING. wen i spank my daughter i dont do it hard. she is not scared of me she jus doesnt like getting her butt smacked. i will never spank her while i am mad at her but she will be spanked if she needs it. all children dont respond to time out or being talked to. i am in control of my daughter an she is happy. i am not a failure as a parent for spanking my daughter an i am not wrong. i live my life by the bible an it clearly says that children need to be spanked wen its needed.. i wish i had a perfect lil angel an i never needed to spank or scold her but life isnt like that.

an to gina: how would you feel if i told you that you are a failure an a bad parent?

you should read these verses:
proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

proverbs 23:13 Withold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

proverbs 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.


wat if i told you that your child's soul was goin to hell because of you? how would that make you feel? wat if i told you your child is gonna bring shame to you an that it your fault bcuz your a bad parent? an wat if i told you your kid was gonna be actin a fool all tha time bcuz of you? how would you feel?

my parents spanked me, their parents spanked them, its always been the means of correction. i aint sayin dont talk to the kid first but if it continues to happen a spanking is helpful in teachin them. especially if it about somethin that can hurt them in the end. i would rather my lil girl get a lil sting on her rear every now an then than end burnin herself on tha stove, hurting someone else's kid, gettin bit by a dog, climbin stairs, playin wit electrical outlets, runnin out in tha street, etc. you get my drift. any way this post is on your opinion an like leah said. DONT CRITICIZE AN BE RESPECTFUL. this post is on here so you can voice your opinion not tell people they are wrong or bad

Jenn - posted on 09/25/2009

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This is going to get ugly!

My opinion is that spanking is not needed for any child. I won't go any further at this point for fear I shall stick my foot in my mouth.

Leah - posted on 09/25/2009

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I believe some people may have missed this part in the original post so i'm saying it again:

STATE UR OPINION, BUT DO NOT CRITICIZE. THANK U ALL AND REMEMBER, KEEP IT CIVIL IN THIS POST. PLEASE DO NOT GET NASTY OR HATEFUL that just makes more work for the moderators. BE RESPECTFUL!!!

Leah - posted on 09/25/2009

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i'm not sure u read the original post i specifically stated that u can share ur opinion. this is what i said:

"those of us who do spank do not criticize u or tell u that u are wrong for not spanking ur child, so those of u who dont spank who r often quick to criticize: state ur opinion, but do not criticize."

Quoting Gina Fullerton:

"you are wronge ..... you HAVE FAILED S A PARENT YES THATS RIGHT YOU HAVE FAILED AS A PARENT . IF YOU NEED TO GO A FAR AS SPANKING YOUR CHILD TO GET THEM TO LISTEN TO YOU . YA YOU FAILED YA THATS RIGHT YOU HEARD ME CORRECTLY there are so mANY OTHER WAYS to make your children obey you this just makes them scared of you . so next time you feel the need that your child is SO OUT OF CONTROLL YOU NEED TO SPANK THEM right after you do it go look in the mirror and tell your self IAM A TERRIABLE PARENT I CAINT EVEN CONTROLL MY CHILD I HAD TO SPANK THEM IAM A FAILER . i had to use my hands instead of . discussing it with my child & getting to the root of it before it even gets that far . like i said before you arE in controll . but you do not need to use your hands to be in controll . i think it'S CHILD ABUSE PEOPLE ARE NOT FOR HITTING ...."

also u obviously missed the part about it not being abuse. u cant have an opinion on whether or not spanking is abuse: THE LAW SAYS IT ISN'T. IT IS A FACT!!!!!!!!!!!

"Abuse does not include physical discipline of a child if reasonable and moderate and inflicted by a parent or guardian for restraining or correcting a child."

Gina - posted on 09/25/2009

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Hello Ladies , Iam Gina and i woulD like to give my input on his post for all the parents out there who choose Corporal punishment to there children ....... You can take this how ever you like but this s how i feel on this and after you read this really think about what i said ... You are the parent this means lots of things you need to teach your child right from wronge how to Resecpt you obey you ect ect. you are in total controll , not your children your children behavior reflects on how you taught them if you allowed trantrums of course there going to do it over and over agaian . children watch every move there parents make rememeber you are there hero . so if you acting like a crazy women of course your child will act the same . WELL TO GET TO MY POINT I FEEL VERY STRONGLY THAT IF YOU NEED TO SPANK ,HIT ,SLAP. (what ever you want to call it ) your children IF YOU HAVE TO GO THAT FAR tHAT & you really can not controll your child that you need to use your hands to get your point across ...... sorry to say this but parents who use there hands as a way of having your child obey or get your point across you are wronge ..... you HAVE FAILED S A PARENT YES THATS RIGHT YOU HAVE FAILED AS A PARENT . IF YOU NEED TO GO A FAR AS SPANKING YOUR CHILD TO GET THEM TO LISTEN TO YOU . YA YOU FAILED YA THATS RIGHT YOU HEARD ME CORRECTLY there are so mANY OTHER WAYS to make your children obey you this just makes them scared of you . so next time you feel the need that your child is SO OUT OF CONTROLL YOU NEED TO SPANK THEM right after you do it go look in the mirror and tell your self IAM A TERRIABLE PARENT I CAINT EVEN CONTROLL MY CHILD I HAD TO SPANK THEM IAM A FAILER . i had to use my hands instead of . discussing it with my child & getting to the root of it before it even gets that far . like i said before you arE in controll . but you do not need to use your hands to be in controll . i think it'S CHILD ABUSE PEOPLE ARE NOT FOR HITTING .... THANK YOU THATS JUST HOW I FEEL ON THIS being a child that was beaten as a child , i love my mother dearly but as a parent yes she failed ..... today i AM A MOTHER & my daughter and i have a onderful relationship i resecpt herand she resecpt me i do not allow her to act out yes she has her momets i walk away & count to 10.... i ask her whats the matter we slove it together ...then we are both happy....... so please dont CORPORAL PUNISHMENT ON CHILDREN , LOVE YOUR CHILD HUGS NOT HITTING .......

[deleted account]

O.T. I wish some of you ladies would learn how to write in legible English. It is painful trying to decifer some of the stuff that is written here.

Priscilla - posted on 09/24/2009

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here sum from tha bible:

proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

proverbs 23:13 Withold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

proverbs 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

anyway jus wanned to put dat out der

Johnny - posted on 09/24/2009

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"Spare the rod, spoil the child" is not from the Bible. It is from a 17th century poem by Samuel Butler called Hudibras. The Bible says, "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) This quote was also interpreted during 17th century England, into the King James version of the bible. There are many recent studies of the Bible which conclude that this passage in Proverbs was not an invocation to corporal punishment. Please see:

http://www.religioustolerance.org/spanki...

Priscilla - posted on 09/24/2009

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yes yes yes.. lol.. its in tha bible too. .spare tha rod an spoil tha child.. u kno armani gone get her lil booty wooped. thank god its not against tha law.

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