Corporal Punishment on children over 5 yrs ?

Gloria - posted on 10/18/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

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Do you believe in spanking a child over 5 years old ? Do you think it's necessary ?

Spanking verses verbal reprimand, which is more effective ?

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Sandra - posted on 10/19/2009

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I don't believe in spanking children of any age. Children learn what they know so think about what this is teaching them - it's okay to hit someone if you don't like their behaviour! It's also humiliating and an abuse of power. Children deserve the same protection as adults from physical harm, if you hit an adult, it's called assault. There are other more effective ways to discipline children, grounding and removal of priviledges are much more effective. Spanking just shows that you have lost control of the situation.

Dot - posted on 10/18/2009

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Yes, I believe in spanking. God's word say to use the rod on them, that it won't kill them, but keep them out of hell. I believe that is why we have so much crime, cause children hasn't had a spanking. We were spanked when I grew up and you didn't have the crime that you have today.

TealRose - posted on 03/22/2011

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Spanking... now, lets call a spade a spade. HITTING a child is wrong. As wrong as if your husband hit you, or you hit an animal. Even criminals are safe from being hit!

Discipline means to teach. NOT to hit. Spanking is an emotional minefield. It's cruel, mean, unkind, spiteful, violent and NEVER ever necessary.

I brought my two children up without hitting them and they are great adults. My daughter also now has two children whom she is teaching and not hitting, and two more polite sweet children you couldn't wish to meet.

I was spanked and my parents lost me. They lost my respect, love and trust. Why would I trust someone who is supposed to love and keep me safe, if they hit me? I have never respected anyone who hits another person. It got MY attention alright. I never learned anything except fear, pain, anger, hate and resentment. I am 56 and despite being a quite, calm person, I still seethe inside for my lost childhood, for the little girl inside me who was living from second to second.

By pro spankers standards, I wasn't 'abused'. By mine ... I sure as hell was.

Sandra - posted on 10/19/2009

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I completely disagree Malena, children who commit crimes like these have probably been treated violently themselves. You can have authority and discipline your children without resorting to hitting. I have five sons aged 8 to 19 and have not used spanking as a form of discipline - they are all well behaved, polite boys who have never caused any problems. I think you're sending the wrong message by spanking, I was spanked as a child and all it taught me was to be more sneaky and not get caught!

Sheryl - posted on 10/18/2009

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Quoting Dot:

Yes, I believe in spanking. God's word say to use the rod on them, that it won't kill them, but keep them out of hell. I believe that is why we have so much crime, cause children hasn't had a spanking. We were spanked when I grew up and you didn't have the crime that you have today.



God's word actually reads "spare the rod spoil the child" .  I found that sometimes a spanking works and sometimes it doesn't.  I did not spank my daughter very much.  She only got it when she really needed it. Now I do restrictions from certain activities such as phone, computer, DS ect.  Sometimes this works and again sometimes not.  It all depends on the situation but the key is to stick to it, don't let them off restriction early or they will think they can get off early all the time.

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Jodi - posted on 03/22/2011

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Sorry Ladies, this post is 18 months old, and as per our policy, I am locking it. Thank you for all your input.

Jodi Adams
WtCoM Moderator

[deleted account]

Absolutely! I really believe that spanking is the easy way out - proper discipline (teaching, guiding) is HARD! But so worth it! I get so tired of the argument that if you don't spank them you'll lose your authority and they'll run wild! I was spanked - hit - and I certainly lost respect for my parents BECAUSE I was hit! My 3 kids were never hit. They are now beautiful, gentle, well-balanced young women.

TealRose - posted on 03/22/2011

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Thank you Kathy .. I just have NO idea why anyone would hit a child. You know that ' this hurts me more than it hurts you ' nonsense that gets spouted by the spanking parents .. well I always say and believe that they feel bad because THAT is their conscience telling them it's wrong .. and they wouldn't feel that way if they taught and directed their children instead of hitting them !

[deleted account]

LOVE your post, TealRose! Hit the nail right on the head! No spanking. Never. Not for any reason. At no age! If our menfolk hit us we'd have the in court for domestic violence or spouse abuse or something. Why do our kids deserve any less?

Stifler's - posted on 03/22/2011

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I am not massively anti-spanking. I would use it as a last resort when time outs and explaining that what they're doing is wrong and to not do it again weren't working.

Janice - posted on 10/21/2009

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Spanking should always be a last resort. The best punishment fits the "crime." This often means that a parent suffers. For example if you always give in to your child's whine, they will learn that the longer they do it you will eventually give in. Will you have to deal with non-stop whining for a few weeks? Yes, but a child will either learn to stop asking because No means no and Stop means stop or that if I do something long enough Mom/Dad/whoever will give in. Taking away privelidges and talking with kids is always best. Spanking may get a child to listen at that moment but doesn't teach them anything. Children's actions are primarily based in getting their needs and wants met and helping children find solutions to problems so they don't have to misbehave, will serve them as they grow into teenagers and adults. Spanking primarily does 3 things-lets parents blow off steam, gets a childs attention and reminds a child they're not in charge. Therefore spanking can have its place in discipline but really makes no sense as primary form of discipline.

Lydia - posted on 10/21/2009

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Depends on the child and depends on the situation. I think verbal - if it works - is the best but if it doesnt then other punishment needs to be used be it spanking, time out, positive or negative reinforcement of whatever form works with your child and is consistant with the type of behaviour being disciplined.

Malena - posted on 10/19/2009

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You know your kids better than anyone, if you think that it may work than Spank him/her. I am sick of people saying they don't believe in spanking. When we were younger, most of us were spanked & when did kids start killing other kids & parents-when they could. Parents are giving up their authority over kids & that explains all the childhood crimes.

Minnie - posted on 10/19/2009

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Considering that I myself wouldn't want to be struck when I messed up- no, I wouldn't spank a child over five years old....or under five.

Michelle - posted on 10/19/2009

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A spanking is necessary for some children. Every child is different so if you know that you can go to your child and verbally reprimand them and it is effective then you don't need to spank that child. We have four children from the ages of 11 to 4. My oldest son still gets a spanking because I know that is the ONLY way that I can get through to him when he has disobeyed. He doesn't care if you reprimand him or if you take certain things away because he will eventually get those items back. On the other side my girls that are 7 and 5 don't get as many spankings because I can reprimand them and take things away and that works for them. All of my children have been spanked before. You must do what you know is best for your children. I was spanked as a child and it worked back then and it still works today.

Patty - posted on 10/18/2009

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My children are full grown now, but when they were bad & a verbal warning didn't work then they would get a swat or two. Also I feel if they misbehave in public they should be punished in public. It makes them think twice before they do it again. The trouble today is that too many parents don't believe in spanking at all.

[deleted account]

The only time I have ever spanked was for something either life threatening or physically dangerous so it was quite rare to have happen. As for now it just doesnt work for me since the kids just laugh at me, though no one laughs when daddy says it. My two havent had a spanking in years though (and daddy is step so my kids have never been spanked by him) but he has spanked his own son for dangerous things.



its a last resort would rather not even have to think about it if need be discipline that rears its ugly head once in a blue moon.



I found though a verbal reprimand doesnt always work either though, our kids lose toys, fun things, or are timed out when need be with a verbal afterwards. the verbal has to be done after a disciplinary action is dealt or it just goes in one ear and out the other.



if you went by compliance alone a spanking would technically be more effective since it is more hands on really but in the long run I would say that it doesnt hold up to other methods of discipline since they only really learn short term not to do something that way. (more of an in the moment style rather than retaining long term a skill style)

Sharon - posted on 10/18/2009

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It depends on the child & the situation. In our house - spanking is the last resort and done to drive home a point.



My oldest needed spankings more than his younger brother & sister. A stern verbal reprimand and they were in tears. My oldest - dear lord, soooooo stubborn.

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