Cry it out

Lori - posted on 02/09/2010 ( 64 moms have responded )

16

37

1

At what point should I let my one month old munchkin cry it out? She gets real mad after about 3 mintues of crying in her crib if someone isn't in there to see what's going on. I try to let her cry herself back to sleep if she wakes up in the middle of night and it's not feeding time, but it brakes my heart to hear it.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Michelle - posted on 02/09/2010

43

18

5

i also thought you were supposed to let your baby cry it out. but baby's cry because they need something. It is one of their only means of communication. Some parents worry that they will spoil their baby or create attachment issues if they attend to the baby every time he or she cries. Some parents also worry that their child is manipulating them. This just isn't possible. A young baby can not manipulate you! Rather if you pick your baby up when he or she is crying you are teaching him/her that you are there for them and that they can trust you to take care of them. Studies have shown that children that are given attention and love when crying or distressed are more likely to be independent children and young adults. This is because their basic needs of trust and comfort were developed early. These needs are the foundation of a strong and independent character. Therefore, don't let your baby cry! You are only teaching him/her that you will not be there when he/she needs you most.

Cindy - posted on 02/10/2010

15

27

0

I'm one of those "different" moms---we never let our son cry.....to me its a sign of discomfort..wet, hungry, etc. We held him and rocked him so he knew he was loved. He is 20 and a wonderful confident young man who alwyas knew he was loved...We "tried" one time when our pediatrician told us kids should learn to comfort themselves and let him cry----we tried, but couldn't do it-not for us....Good Luck!!

Anita - posted on 02/10/2010

55

12

3

Try giving her a pacifier, if she gets too upset, walk in, pop it in her mouth and then leave. Unfortunately you have to keep an ear out, to make sure she's not choking or anything, but crying is good for the lungs:)

Kim - posted on 02/10/2010

10

9

0

I personally would never let a one month old cry it out. Babies that age can't be spoiled and need all the holding and love they can get as this helps them feel secure. Sleeping through the night will come, but for now I say pick her up and comfort her. I was never comfortable with the cry it out method and didn't do it. I tried a couple of times with my first and didn't like the way it made me feel. They are only babies once and both of mine started sleeping fine on their own when they were a little older (around 4 months). Good luck and enjoy your baby!

Jennifer - posted on 02/10/2010

3

0

0

then don't do it! recent studies have proven that letting a baby so young cry for long periods is not at all good for the baby and can even lead to learning disabilities such as attention deficit disorder. there is a reason why it brakes your heart - your instinct is telling you to cuddle her. my little girl is 2 months - and i have a 2 year old and found these 2 books extremely helpful: no cry sleep solution and the happiest baby on the block.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

64 Comments

View replies by

Vanessa - posted on 02/10/2010

1

0

0

Don't forget the babies go through growth spurts that can last 7 days or longer. If they're hungry - feed them. If they want to be held - hold them. I did with my daughter and she's now a healthy, happy 4 year-old - not fat - she's actually thin and tall. I also NEVER let her cry it out, especially at only 1 month - that's too young! There's a book called the No-Cry Sleep Solution or something like that. I used it for guidance. She's now 4 and has been falling asleep on her own for a LOOOONG time - without crying. I work full-time and she's been going to school since she was 6 weeks old. No problems - she's very happy, independent and everyday she warms my heart when she hugs me and tells me, "I love you, Mommy!"

Jennifer - posted on 02/10/2010

3

22

1

I am so against crying it out for exactly the reason you stated. If your heart is breaking imagine how this new little being to this world feels. There is no need to expect "independence" so early in life, especially when trust of ones surroundings is just beginning. With my second child I still get him to near complete sleep before I put him down, so I am not the best person to respond. However, I can refer you to some helpful books.

Check out the book The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and web site, http://www.babywhisperer.com/babywhisper... --- I really liked this book and found many good techniques, such as holding and reassuring my baby then placing him back in bed. Note: he did sleep through many nights until he started teething. Now I have gone back to assuring him and soothing him.
Another book I have heard of is 12 hours in 12 weeks. My friend has twins and she said this book saved her.

[deleted account]

NOT YET! I just did with my 4 month old and it worked great. my pediatrician says wait at least til 3 months because at 1 month the infant bond is not established yet...so wait a little longer!

Sandi - posted on 02/10/2010

181

13

9

I think 1 month is too soon to try the CIO method. At this age she needs security, love and time to bond & trust you. They cry for a "need" not a "want". They can't comprehend night and day let along a time scale so I don't think crying it out will have any positive effects. She's probably overwhelmed by all her new senses and feelings so the one constant for her at the moment is you and daddy.

We used the CIO method when our daughter was 7months & it worked. At this age she had learnt that she didn't need to be scared because we would be there if anything bad happened. Teething had thrown her sleeping pattern off and then she was staying awake because she was learning to do fun new things like sit & crawl. When we went in she would laugh and play peek-a-boo, or if she was crying she would pause to listen for us coming up the stairs then resume if she heard nothing.

For now just let your bubs know that you're there to protect her and keep her safe. Then hopefully all the new things wont be too scary.

Best of luck

Christine - posted on 02/10/2010

1

11

0

I had to let my son cry it out at 8 months old. My pedi said after 6 months old AND if they sleep through the night w/o needing food.

Jessica - posted on 02/10/2010

2

16

0

Are you Breast or Bottle Feeding? If you are Breast Feeding it is not a great idea to let your baby cry as at one month a baby needs to feed on demand to help you establish an adequate milk supply and allow them good growth. I have to say that I would have never let any of my baby's cry it out until around 6 months. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I don't believe in scheduled feedings at this age. Hope this helps. It's an exhausting time but believe me it does pass. Cherish every moment with that little one as it flies by.

April - posted on 02/10/2010

3

3

0

Trust me, she knows it is breaking your heart. I highly recommend the Baby Wise book Author Dr. Ezzo. I feel that book is the reason why my child started sleeping through the night at 7weeks.

Kylie - posted on 02/10/2010

1

14

0

I had a baby that screamed 20 hours out of 24 for the first eight months we went to a sleep clinic fantastic but emotionally hard. Second child was much easier after a feed instead of putting straight down I would sit him against my chest upright for half an hour rubbing his back. That seemed to get rid of wind problems. I think it is OK to do control crying I went in at 1 then 3 then 5 the 7 then 10minutes you must stick to the clock do not take baby out of its bed as they get older do not make eye contact I rubbed back gently dont talk to baby but make a soothing noise like shhhhhhhhhhh or hushhhh. It worked for me. But I stuck to regular sleep time and learned to tell when he was tired but not over tired my kids are now 10 and 12 and still sleep between 10 and twelve hours it was vary hard and I cried while I did it but its worth go. You nedd to let them self settle

Karen - posted on 02/10/2010

1

2

0

It breaks your heart, because you were meant to comfort her. Babies cry because something wrong. Toddlers cry to get what they want. I am a big fan of Dr. Sears' books and postion on attachment mothering. Check out his books. I practised attachment mothering with my two year old and you can get a more independent toddler. Think about it if our Foremother from the hunter-gather day let their babies "cry it out" they would have been eaten by lions, and we would not be here. She knows when she is hungry better than the clock. Do you snack when you hungry outside of meal times. If her cries are not answered, she learns no one cares enough to help her and she knows she is completely helpless. If you were stuck in a well, and stopped shouting for help, does that mean you don't need help any more or you don't think any one can here you. Pick up your and love your crying baby. There is plenty of time in the future to teach delayed satisfaction. Congrats on your new family member!

Rikki - posted on 02/10/2010

274

27

25

shes only 1 month old thats wayyy to early to be letting her cry it out she is ment to cry at this age its what babys do all they want is to be with u hold on to that as long as u can it wont last 4 eva

Barbara - posted on 02/10/2010

4

4

0

please dont let a baby that young cry there must be a reason why may it be that the baby is too hot or too cold...... or maybe she needs to be held you cant spoil her so hold her sing to her or even try seeing if she has gas....babies lungs are not as strong as you think crying too long can cause problems ur baby will get older and the baby days are gone enjoy her snuggle her and also see why she is crying good luck

Angie - posted on 02/10/2010

2

9

0

Hello my older daughter was about 3 month when we finally decided to let her cry it out. It was really hard and my husband kept having to tell me if i dont let her be she wont ever get used to it. I had a hard time letting our younger daughter cry it out in fear that her crying would wake up our older daughter. Our little was didnt start sleeping through the night until she was about 1.5 years old because of it. If you can try to hang in there. It is worth it in the long run.

Ana - posted on 02/10/2010

3

0

0

I believe that all babies under the age of 9 months cannot be spoiled. She needs to know that when she cries someone comes. IT is difficult and you will have days when you will want to throw her out the window... but her ability to trust the world comes from trusting you...

Barbara - posted on 02/10/2010

33

12

0

This is very normal, to want to rescue the little one. But you are doing the right thing by letting her cry it out. She will eventually learn to put herself back to sleep. It is a hard process. For each of ours (6), we went through this stage with our babies. We would hold each other and notice how the crying spells didn't last as long. Of course sneak a peek in on her to make sure nothing is going drastically wrong, but be sure she doesn't see you. Be sure it isn't a dirty diaper or needing to eat. She's still at an age where she eats frequently. IT could also be a gas bubble. After trying to burp her, change diaper, or feed her, put her gently in the crib. You did everything to make her comfortable, now it's time for her to learn to comfort herself. It's not easy, I know, I've been there, but it's worth doing now, and not when she's one or two. Hope this helps.

Heather - posted on 02/10/2010

55

7

10

It is very heart breaking to hear an infant cry their little heart out. I think your little is still too young to be crying for attention as such, she may be crying for more food or comfort. If you know you have done everything possible to make her comfortable, then let her cry, she may just be a little fussy.

Jolene - posted on 02/10/2010

5

13

1

My doctor recommended to me that the first 6 months respond immediately to any cry or demand from baby. That worked well for my daughter that is now 2 years old. When she was 7 months I used the strategies from the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby and she is a very good sleeper. It does require some letting them cry it out, but well worth the few difficult nights. I probably could have done it a little earlier but that's what worked well for us. Most newborns need to eat frequently so that could be why she is waking up. Good luck, the first few months are a challenge for sure.

Michelle - posted on 02/10/2010

118

117

8

i agree no talking, no eye contact, just dont pick them up. be sstrong and 3 days are most but my baby girl has taken 5 days so keep at it. talk to friendfs and family, doctors and nurses. you know your child stick with your gut!

Michelle - posted on 02/10/2010

118

117

8

i agree I'd wait till u talkt o your coctor but 4-6 months is better time

Michelle - posted on 02/10/2010

118

117

8

it is hard to let them cry it out it doesnt feel right so if you have to leave the house and stand outside leave a window open or bring the baby moniter on low, take deep breaths as long as they realy arnt hurt it ok to cry right. if you were really upset how long do you cry for? time it and see?! mosty I have heard some do 10 mins then go in and then increase upto 30 mins before they pick them up! good luck its hard! but worth it

Diana - posted on 02/10/2010

5

0

0

Don't let her cry. There is no such thing as a "spoiled" 1-month old. And you will feel better if you attend to her. Some babies just need more cuddling than others.

Betty - posted on 02/10/2010

2

0

0

Hi Lori--I think one month is way too young to allow an infant (really, newborn) "cry it out". An infant this young has no understanding of "cause and effect" and may be colicky, hungry, etc. Please pick up your baby at this age!!!!!!

Reina - posted on 02/10/2010

10

0

0

1 month old babies are too little to cry it out. She needs to learn to trust you – that you'll be there for her from the beginning. After quite a few months go by and you know she's not sick or hungry, then you can begin to allow her to cry for a few minutes before going to her. Time and experience will be your best counselor.

Alison - posted on 02/10/2010

1

0

0

At 1 month you should definitely go to your babe, even if it's not "feeding time". Their stomach is the size of a pea & every time they have a bowel movement or pee, they expel everything. Check for hunger, diaper change, gas/burp, or just cuddles. These are the essentials in the 1st 3 months.
I have heard (& believe) that the 1st 3 months of a baby's life out of the womb should be considered the "4th trimester. The baby still needs you SO MUCH for everything & is relying on your for nutrition, comfort, help with gas etc etc. I think responding to all of your baby's needs in the 1st three months is key to build a strong relationship & to allow them to feel SECURE & SAFE.
After 3 months & 12 lbs the baby is able to explore their own environment more & doesn't require you at every waking moment, as much. I am a believer at this point, in letting them "cry it out". They are able to self-metabolize (burn calories for nurishment) at this point & it's ok to start sleep training.
I followed this and by 10-12 weeks by daughter was sleeping through the night 7-8 hrs. By 3.5 months it was 12-13 hrs. Now she is 9 months & knows that bed time is bed time. The crib means sleep. There are no fights at bedtime or nap time. She pulls the blankets over her, gets a kiss on the forehead, the end. :)
At first, it is very hard to hear your baby sleep (AFTER 3 months), but the reward in the end is SO WORTH IT! If you do true sleep training, after 3 months & 12 lbs it will take more than 3 nights at most (I PROMISE). You can do it!!
Remember, particularly for sleep time (and sleep training):
1. Consistency is key - have a plan & stick to it
2. Have a support system if you start sleep training. Someone to hold you back at all costs!
3.have a designated sleep area (ie: crib after 2.5-3 months) that you put them in when sleeping - they should learn to wake there so they learn it is for sleep. They can fall asleep in your arms or a bassinet or stroller first, but always place in the crib
4. keep lights low, or dark (I use an old cell phone as a flashlight to check on her)
5. no talking after the diaper change (in getting ready for sleep)
6. no eye contact
**if you break & go in after they've been crying for 1 hr they will know that that is your breaking point & next time they need to cry for 1 hr & 5 mins. They learn SO quickly what it takes to get your attention & it's a battle of the wills! You need to win!
Good luck!

[deleted account]

My doctor told me that it is okay. But, you should check on them every 2 minutes, then 3 min. and then every 5 min. after that. Soothing them and tell them you love them, but it's time to go back to sleep now. But, I don't think that applies to a 4 week old. She's pretty little yet. I would pick her up and get her to stop crying first, then lay her back down each time. Remember, she's used to being with you for 9 months hearing your heart beat etc.! A swing may help her. You could also try playing a CD. That may help her feel that she's not all alone. Some babies need stimulation such as touch and sound more than others to feel comfortable and safe.

Erica - posted on 02/10/2010

1

0

0

I never let either of my 2 boys just "cry it out". I am not being condescending at all to those who have. I was allowed to do it (so I am told). However, I always noticed that my boys genuinely needed something. The fussing stopped as soon as their needs were met. I think a month old baby is way too little for that tactic. Your little sweetheart isn't being mean or intentionally demanding. Older children learn to manipulate the system. She just has no other way to tell you what she needs other than to "fuss".

Krystle - posted on 02/10/2010

6

8

0

I let my second child cry it out from the get go. Now to this day she hardly cries. She gets angry and lets me know if something is upset. But the point is she takes the time to explain. She's 2 and her language is limited. But I do get the gist when she goes and points to what made her mad and seeks me to punish her sister. My first child I would never let her cry it out. I would run at her beck and call. Now she cries all the time. She's 4 and the moment something happens she cries. It's irritation.

Lori - posted on 02/10/2010

16

37

1

Thank you, thank you to everyone! PLEASE don't think I let my 1 month old cry it out. In the middle of the night, I do let her cry for about 3 minutes just to see if she will fall back asleep - and some nights she does. But other than that she's picked, up being taken care of. I was just curious what's a good age to let her cry it out.

Now that I re-read my question, I realize I worded it wrong. Again, thanks everyone for the input!

Gwen - posted on 02/10/2010

1,345

7

217

I don't believe in CIO, but 1 month is DEFINITELY too young! She will have growth spurts and many other changes over the next few months which will all affect her sleep.

If she is hungry, feed her! At that age she should be eating as often as she wants. Her eating and sleeping schedules are still changing constantly.

If she is crying, go to her! She is a teeny, tiny baby who depends on you for comfort and survival. It breaks your heart, because it's not right to ignore a baby's cries.

Amy - posted on 02/10/2010

1

14

0

You shouldn't let a 1 month old "cry it out" that is too young.
Buy the book" Touchpoints "by Dr.Brazelton and he explains when it is appropriate to do so.

Lorie - posted on 02/10/2010

20

55

0

'Crying it out' is for toddlers (over 6-8 months old), not ONE month old infants. Like someone else said, they are unable to self-soothe yet. Your baby is in a critical period where crying needs to be met with immediate response to establish trust. You cannot spoil a child this young - you can never give too much attention. When your baby is old enough to understand that you will indeed come and give hugs and kisses when he or she really needs it, crying it out for some situations can make sense. But that method will not work for a baby whose only reaction to being left alone to cry will be feelings of isolation and abandonment and a lack of trust with other people. Immediate response, the sooner the better. There is no reason to keep a baby crying for five to ten minutes at night when he or she is scared, lonely, hungry, etc. It's their ONLY way of communicating their needs to you. Please don't let a baby this young cry it out. It breaks my heart....
Good luck

Crystal - posted on 02/10/2010

12

26

0

At this age it is too early to cry it out. I wouldn't start doing that until at least 3 months old. I know feeding schedules are important, but at this age you should be feeding on demand, and usually the baby will work itself into a schedule. Make sure you are keeping track of how many ounces she is eating at each feeding, it may be that you need to bump her up an ounce or two so she isn't feeding every 1-2 hours. Also, you can't be rigid on those schedules, just because she isn't supposed to eat for 30 more minutes, doesn't mean she isn't hungry... she may just be going through a growth spurt too. HTHs!

Renae - posted on 02/10/2010

2,209

23

154

In my opinion, and that of most sleep consultants and infant behaviourists, CIO is only appropriate over 6 months old.



The reason for this is that ALL sleep training methods that involve crying are designed for babies who are physiologically ready to sleep through the night, which does not happen until ATLEAST 6 months old. If you are still feeding the baby during the night, CIO probably will not work and will distress your baby.



I am an advocate of CIO, but only when it is used correctly and is necessary. There are many other no-cry options which are more suitable for most situations. CIO is an extreme measure for extreme circumstances.



Here is what to expect from your baby as far as sleep goes. If your baby is dramatically worse than this, then you may need to consider using a sleep method. Remember 75% of babies naturally sleep through by themselves and do not need any intervention at all.



0-14 weeks - feeds 2-4 hourly day and night.

12-14 weeks - sleep a 5 hour stretch, usually midnight to 5 am. Feed 2-4 hourly at all other times.

4 months - sleep a 6 hour stretch.

6 months - drops to 1 or 2 night feeds and sleeps a 6-8 hour stretch.

50% of babies continue to need at least one night feed until 12 months old.



If your baby is just being a normal baby, you do not need to do anything but let nature take its course. You are welcome to contact me about sleep methods any time you think you might need one.



There is one method you can use now that will teach your baby to go to sleep without your help (which means no rocking or patting when she is older). But it is difficult to use on such a young baby because they usually fall asleep feeding or burping, but you can do it as often as possible, or wait until she is 12 or 14 weeks old to do it.



It is called "gradual withdrawal". The younger the baby (once old enough to be put down awake) the better and faster this works. With 6 month old this has an 80% success rate and is one of the most commonly used no-cry methods.



1. Get her used to being put in her cot relaxed but awake and pat or jiggle her to sleep.

2. After a few days when she is used to going to sleep this way, stop patting a little bit sooner. So if at first you had to pat/jiggle until she was fast asleep, then try to stop when she has just fallen asleep. After a few days when she masters that, then stop just when she closes her eyes, then just as she is about to close her eyes, and so on. Gradually "withdraw" her from needing your help to get to sleep over about 2 weeks. Until you just put her down and walk away (or put her down, pat for 1-2 min and walk away if you are happy to do that).

3. If you stop and try to leave the room and she wakes and cries (which she will especially in the first few days), pick her up, calm her down, put her back in the cot and do it again. You may have to do it up to 5 times in the first few days.



Good luck.

Shelly - posted on 02/10/2010

2

10

0

1 month is too young to let them cry it out. Wait until at least 4 months and if the crying is still too much for you give it a little bit longer. I wouldn't put a shirt you have worn in with the baby either, it's a suffocation risk at 1 month. She just needs to know you are there, as she gets older she will start to feel more secure. The World Health Organisation recommends that a baby sleep in her crib in the same room as you until at least 6 months of age. That way getting up to comfort them is not as difficult and if you start letting them cry it out with you in the same room at 4 months then by the time you move them into their own room at 6 months they are already feeling much more secure. At the end of the day, do what you feel is right. All babies are different, some still need a night feed at 4 months, if she is older than others before you feel it's ok to let her cry it out then so be it. Don't let anyone tell you to do anything you are uncomfortable with. When you start with the crying it out process only leave her for a few minutes, not to the point where she is getting really really upset. Do it gradually and it will be much easier on both of you. My advice is not to even start the process though, until at least 4 months of age.

Tara - posted on 02/10/2010

1,289

24

206

I don't think that CIO works well on babies younger than 6 months and they don't actually recommend any kind of sleep training until between 4-6 months, but it's really a personal decision. My reasoning for starting older (between 4-6 months) is that by that time your baby is already starting to form a sleep pattern and you can easily tell if they are crying because they need something (food, changing, comfort) or if they are crying because of temper.



A lot of people seem to think that CIO is leaving your child to scream bloody murder for hours on end without tending to them. CIO or other sleep training is designed to start teaching your children to self-soothe - most approaches suggest letting them cry for increasing intervals, starting with 1-2 minutes, working up to a maximum of 15-30 minutes, and going in to soothe them (without picking them up) after each interval if they haven't fallen asleep in that time frame.



We did CIO with our daughter when she was 10 months - tried everything else before then and decided that CIO was what was left. It was a lifesaver for us. Our daughter is VERY strong willed and we wound up going with a 20 minute interval in the end. The first night took an hour for her to go to sleep, the 2nd about 30 minutes, etc, until she started going to sleep within a minute of being laid down. She got the same routine then as now - feeding/supper, diaper changed, jammies, cuddles, bath if needed, bedtime. Our daughter is going to be 2 in March and she has slept 7pm-7am since we did the CIO (it took a week for us).



Best thing for you when you do finally go with whatever you choose - consistency - if you aren't consistent, it simply will not work, and that holds true with ANYTHING you are doing with your kids, sleep training, discipline, etc. I agree with the other moms that say you will know when it's really the right time for you as a family.

Jodi - posted on 02/10/2010

26,315

36

3891

OK, people, a warning. Please don't flag posts just because you don't agree with them. Just remember that everyone has an opinion, and expressing an opinion, as long as it doesn't include any personal attacks, is not against guidelines. If posts in this thread continue to be flagged simply because of difference of opinion, this thread will be locked.

Thank you
Jodi Adams
CoM Moderator

[deleted account]

Hi...Just thought I would share my story...I didn't let me guy cry it out until recently. He is 14 months now and we have been working on sleep now for 4 weeks...and last night was the first time he slept through the night, well he woke up once for 30 seconds but I didn't have to go attend to him.
I didn't want to do it when he was younger, I too could not listen to it without it breaking my heart. So I dealt with the long nights until recently, and I knew it was time.
I think you just know when it is time for you, in the words of my pediatrician, if you can't stick with it and be consistent then YOU are not ready.
Good luck, do what you think will be best...you are the mom and you know munchkin the best.

Danielle - posted on 02/09/2010

298

3

26

i think it depends on WHAT sort of cry it is and how distressed the baby is...as mothers we an tell the difference between our childs cry! if its a freak out/scared cry then NO i wouldnt let them cry it out...
If its just a tired or a frustrated cry then i would let the cry it out as long as they werent getting worked up and only for like 5-10 mins...then i would go back in and pat the back, tuck in and walk out.

[deleted account]

Go to your baby and pick her up! Human babies are not meant to be left alone at such a young age. Babies are learning trust and every time you go and pick her up she learns trust. What kind of world are we living in when we don't respond to a crying baby? Human babies, of all mammals, are the most dependent for the longest period of time. It's really okay to respond to our children. No other mammal puts their young in a separate room to cry it out. They snuggle with them.

Listen to your heart. You were connected to your little one for nine months and your instincts know what to do.

Children eventually do learn how to sleep on their own. It will happen.

[deleted account]

Amanda, either cry more or not at all (read above you a bit) cuz hey, what's the point of crying if no one cares to take care of me. :(

[deleted account]

I wouldn't do any CIO before 6 months and up to 9 months I always tried nursing them to sleep first. I'm not a very big fan of CIO anyway, but have used it successfully on a few occasions between 3 kids.

Mary - posted on 02/09/2010

6

1

1

Im going to have to say 6 months!! Every book I have read says before 6 months you cannot spoil a baby, and they need that extra nurturing... and that the more you respond to a younger than 6 month old baby, the less they will cry in the last 6 months, bc they know that can trust that you'll come when they really need something... I believe it is all about building that trust, and at 1 month they need to know when they cry that you will come!! hope this helps!

Trina - posted on 02/09/2010

291

18

16

Lori,



At one month of age your child has no ability to self comfort at all. Infact the best way to teach your child to comfort herself it to answer her cries. Are you not getting enough rest? Can you have someone to watch the baby so you can take a nap on occasion? At one month you should be feeding your baby at night. If it is breaking your heart, don't do it. There is nothing in this world worth that kind of pain for a mother. Your baby will only be a baby once, so make the best of night time cuddles. Babies cry for the sole purpose of survival. That is how they communicate that they are hungry, wet, dirty or unhappy. That is how they say they are scared, lonely, and sad. You sound like a good mother who loves her baby very much, so do what is right for you baby. Society tries to tell us mothers not to fallow or instincts but I look at it this way...mothers have been protecting, feeding, and caring for their babies for thousands of years. We are given the natural instinct to answer cries for a reason. That is just some food for thought :)

Cheshmak - posted on 02/09/2010

11

47

0

Hi Lori, one month is WAY too young to be sleep training. They don't recommend you do that until a baby is 3 or 4 months old. What I did was wait until baby was really really drowsy but awake and put him in his crib at that point. But if he cried, I'd get him. There are a bunch of really good books to guide you through this to avoid problems later. One I really like is Bed Timing which talks about the right and wrong times to sleep train, why and how to use some of th emore popular approaches with success.
Best of luck

Melissa - posted on 02/09/2010

261

15

7

Are you sure your baby isn't hungry? I know its not feeding time, but as babies get bigger they need more food, or when they go through growth spurts, even if you give your baby a couple ounces. I let my son cry it out at 2 months. It lasted 2 night, 10mins each and ever since has slept 12 hrs every night. No interruptions. good luck

Blackwood - posted on 02/09/2010

0

0

35

I feel 1 month is way too young too be doing this. I just started with my son who is 6 months old. A baby at one month needs something, even if it's just you to cuddle. I've always been told you can't "spoil" a baby younger then 6 months. Remember babies were with us for all thier little lives and now in a big world with new smells, sounds and it can be very overwhelming. Best wishes

[deleted account]

She is too young to cry it out. When she is 6 months then you can start. Young babies need to know you are there. If you don't respond to her now, she will actually cry more because she won't be secure.

Ayla - posted on 02/09/2010

28

27

0

I have three children and I hve never let any of them cry it out. I tried with my first daughter when she was about 2 months and she would cre so much that she would vomit all over herself, so i would have to pick her up to change her clothes. I couldn't do it anymore. I felt like such a bad mother making her cry that much. Then i realised that they didn't need to cry. As long as they feel safe they should be fine. It is so hard for a baby to be seperated from it's mother so they just need comfort. You could try putting a shirt that you have worn in the crib with the baby so then she can smell you. I have heared this works well. All the best of luck.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms