custody advice

Amanda - posted on 11/26/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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i need some advice about custody of my son. he's 5 weeks old and im letting his father see the baby once a week which is what he's asked for but he keeps threatening me about taking me to court. im a very good mother but i lost my job right before my son was born so im on unemployment and he has a very good full time job. he was extremely mentally abusive to me during our relationship and showed signs of physical violence. he was physically abusive to his prior girlfriends who i am still friends with what are the chances he will get 50/50 if i file for full custody?

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Kayla - posted on 11/26/2012

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I wouldn't worry about getting a lawyer or going to court just yet. If he is started problems with you i wouldnt let him see the baby. You have the control right now i would tell him that he needs to see the baby when u want him to and all that stuff or nothng at all. You are being nice enough letting him see the baby i wouldnt be able to be the bigger person and do that.

Marian - posted on 11/26/2012

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Are you concerned that your child is not safe when he is in the care of the Father? Is this why you are concerned about Dad having a 50/50 share? Do you have any existing custody arrangement filed with the court now? And are you breast feeding? I'm no lawyer, but I know that judges are reluctant to take kids away from parents unless there is a compelling reason. If you are concerned about babies safety when he is with his Dad, that is a whole other story. If this is the case you need to seek out immediate legal advice.

Kayla - posted on 11/26/2012

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well first off let me ask you are you and the farther married, or ever married? if not then he has no chance unless he has some kind of proof that your unfit other than that the mom automatic gets full custody.

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Amanda - posted on 11/26/2012

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I don't have proof that he was violent to me but my sister has seen it abs she said she would testify his ex girlfriends have also said they will too. I just can't fathom thinking he will be able to take my baby. I don't want anything to ever happen to him.

Kayla - posted on 11/26/2012

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i really think that you are 100% ok. If you were never married and if he isn't on birth certificate you are fine and he would first have to get DNA done for records to show proof he is the farther. Also if by some chance he takes you to court do you have proof that he was abusive, like police records? If so he wouldn't stand a chance also you say he does drugs let the courts know that and they will make him take a pissed text that same day before they go any further into the custody battle.

Amanda - posted on 11/26/2012

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I am breastfeeding. He's never had the baby alone without my supervision. I'm just concerned that since he's been abusive before he may snap on the baby. He goes from 0-10 with his temper within 5 sec. I don't have a current court agreement I'm just trying to see what my options are with filing. He does a lot of drugs at party's and stuff and smokes weed daily but I know he will stop if it goes to court. He also has a lot of reckless driving tickets so I'm concerned about his safety if he ever does go in a car with him.

Amanda - posted on 11/26/2012

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Were not nor ever were married we broke up when I was 12 weeks pregnant and got back with my ex. The baby's father never tried to contact me once threw my entire pregnancy and once the baby was born I called him and informed him then he started seeing him. But he says he's going to take me to court everyt time I say he can't see the baby a if he's sick or if its too late in the evening. He's not even on the birth certificate.

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