Custody battle over assault on a child..........

Fiona - posted on 03/07/2011 ( 15 moms have responded )

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my partner and i are currently trying to get custody of his 3 children due to their mothers new partner physically assaulting the eldest, he is currently witing to be sentanced for common assault to which he has pleaded guilty...... the mother has made it quite clear her intentions to carry on with her relationship as they have since booked their wedding and thinks that once he has had his punishment he can move bk in and be with her and the kids..... can anyone please help and give me some reassurance to what our chances are of winning custordy

Thank You

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JuLeah - posted on 03/07/2011

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You have to prove her unfit. Document and make your case.

You might get lucky, but understand it won't be about the kids or what they need.

The laws are not written for the kids, but for the parent. You might get a social worker willing to push though a few forms, or if you can afford an attorney ... well, with enough money you can make most anything happen - I work in this system, I know what I am talking about.

It will be ugly ugly and the kids will be hurt no matter what legal path you take.

If you are asking for suggestions??? Find a way to build a bridge between yourself and this woman .... work with her as part of a team ... set aside the past, work towards a future ... if she is listening to you she will hear your concerns about the bf .... but you have to get her to the point of listening ...

Krista - posted on 03/07/2011

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Jennifer's right. Get a lawyer, and write down every single instance of when the kids were not parented sensibly. The court system is VERY biased towards the biological mother. And make sure that your own home situation is above reproach, to further heighten the contrast between your home and hers.

Jennifer - posted on 03/07/2011

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Since it was her boyfriend and not her, you may have a fight on your hands. Just make sure you document everything that happenes when the kids come to you guys for a visit like if they aren't bathed, or don't have proper clothes for the weather or if there is one in diapers, if the diaper is almost soaking through. Write specific times and dates. Also write down if the children ever say they are scared at their mom's because of the boyfriend or feel like they are neglected. Just make sure you are specific about everything and don't try to make things sound worse than what was actually said or done, because most court investigators can really pick up on this and may not believe the real things that are happening. I wish you guys all the best. I don't have much faith in the justice system, because it let me down so many times. Even when my son said things to make us believe that my ex was sexually assulting him. thankfully my ex was a dead beat and went to prison for other crimes and made no attempt to see the kids or pay suppoprt for over 2 years, so my husband was able to adopt the kids and my ex has no chance of ever seeing them again.

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Fiona - posted on 03/10/2011

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well heres t hoping and i wish u and ur husaband the best of luck. still gt a gut feeling that we wont gt the kids bt that could just be me not wanting to gt my hopes up. court date is getting close now and i cn feel the nerves setting in

Cassandra - posted on 03/09/2011

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your chances are good fight for those kids document everything well please feel free to add me as a friend i would love to help you as i am currently fighting for my step kids to my husbands ex- wife has failed to properly care for my 2 step kids since there divorce i have a page on face book you can join it is called I'm hungry and i hope i could help you, I have learned alot in the process

Fiona - posted on 03/09/2011

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they are aged 7 5 and 4. very cute indeed lol. we curently have an access order in place as she tried to stop all contact previously. we have a solicitor and are currently in the battle at the min. bk at court next week, and her partner is at court next week for sentencing. he also gained parental responsibility the same time as the court order for access

Hayley - posted on 03/09/2011

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How old are the Kids? I was in simular situation but without the violence, i pushed my fiance to go for DNA on his daughter as his ex-wife denied it was his, turned out it was 67million to 1 that my fiance was the father.. cut to the chase..Get a solicitor...especially if the kids have always been with their mum.. we were in simular situation.. it has taken over a year to get where we are today and thats just having my partners daughter every other weekend... take note of everything..txts..calls etc etc times dates and so on... as if you dont u wont have a leg to stand on....hope you get them as no child needs to be beaten... anyway i hope he gets put away as despite whether or not a child is naughty or not they dont deserve to be beaten.. and for the mother to allow it.. well she is no mother is she... Good Luck with the fighting battle and keep in there as it will be a long process..kids deserve better...

Fiona - posted on 03/08/2011

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thanks theresa back at court next week so will let you all know what the verdict is..... fingers and toes crossed

Theresa - posted on 03/08/2011

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I just don't understand mothers like that. How could you choose theman over your own children. If any man ever beat my children (including my husband who is their father) his butt would be out the door so fast. Good luck to you.

Fiona - posted on 03/08/2011

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their is normally no bitterness between myself my partner and the mother until this incident. we are currently goin thru court with a solicitor. she has made it clear her intentions to carry on with this relationship as they have just booked their wedding. we currently have regular contact with the children thanks t a court order my partner gained at court previously. my partner gained temporary residence of the children wen the incident took place till it was certain her partner had vacated the home so hopefuuly the court will give custody to my partner as she is wanting her partner to move back in the home with the children even after the assault has took place

Iridescent - posted on 03/07/2011

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I hope you do win. Be willing to fight though. Keep a journal of when you have the kids, see them, etc. Work closely with CPS if appropriate.

Fiona - posted on 03/07/2011

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thanks for ur advice and support guys..... will keep u posted on things t come. fingers crossed we gt the kids for their own safety

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Definitely get a lawyer and document everything. If he's plead guilty and she's going to marry him.... I don't 'think' you'd have too much trouble getting custody, but judges are hard to predict and do stupid things sometimes.

Good luck!!

Charlie - posted on 03/07/2011

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if your trying for custody then them kids are going to uses no one in the right world would let her keep the kids if shes keeping him i take my hat off to you as well for taking on 3kids that's proper nice i wouldn't worry about the courts there not going to let her have the kids when shes happy to marry a child beater shes just as bad as him but without the hitting
good luck not that you'l need
:) :) :)

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