daddy missing

Teresa - posted on 06/14/2009

It is hard to deal with the daddy is gone or not here. I was a single mom for a long long time and it was hard but I was honest with my kids and that helped. Explain to her that he is not gone forever he just had to go take care of some business then he will be back. I know when my sweetie was in prison he was able to buy phone time and call me so that way I did not have to have the high phone bills. I went thru Jpay and sent him money and he got phone cards and called me. And I say called me cause this was 20 years later that we found each other and our son was gone and moved out but they do now talk it is great. Need any help with Jpay let me know I would be glad to help you it really helped me, cause you can even send letters through there to him. xxangelwings67xx@hotmail.com Teresa :)

Laura - posted on 06/12/2009

Just take her out of the house to go to park or sumfin to do to keep her mind off that might help and the more she do things out of the house and everything it might work if not then u have to give her comfort n let her know ur there w/ her but dont mention about daddy if she is old enuf to understand then u can tell her that her daddy has to go away for lil while and that he will be back

Laura - posted on 06/12/2009

Well I'm sure there is a way around that the father of your child can tell the lawyer that he wants his paycheck go into your bankin acct(checkin or saving) to take care of the child but I'm sure they may not want the paycheck into ur banking acct they will be asking for the child's saving acct unless u ask for child support then its possible u get his paycheck but Im not completely 100% theres a way for u to find out so i wish you g'luck....

Quoting natalie:

that is a wikkid good idea but the only thing is is thst hes aat a federal prison and when i asked the CO if he could let lee sign his paycheck over to me the guy was like"no i can do that its against the rules" and the only people who area allowed to have contact visits are the lawyers. lol makes me wish i went to law scool. lol

 

Betty-Rose - posted on 06/11/2009

Be very careful with her. This happened to my daughter when she was 18 months and did the same thing for 3 months straight and then all of a sudden she stopped talking. Although we realized later that she has autism, but I think the trauma of her father not being around so abruptly was also a factor. Just watch her and keep her occupied on other activities.

CaryAnn - posted on 06/11/2009

both of my youngest had daddy leave for iraq when they were 9 months old. both were big time daddy's kids. we just kept pictures up and talked about how daddy was away and how we could be sad. but that Daddy would be home, but it would be a long time before we saw him again. we didn't have a lot of phone contact either. but if you have pictures, especially of them playing together or whatever it will help. Neither of my kids had a hard time accepting daddy back into our family situation when he came home. They knew who daddy was and went running to greet him.

Christina - posted on 06/11/2009

Hey there is a website call www.prisontalk.com

go on there and look around to find assistance with everything related to prison.

My daughter likes getting mail drawings from daddy and i read the letters to her.

Natalie - posted on 06/11/2009

that is a wikkid good idea but the only thing is is thst hes aat a federal prison and when i asked the CO if he could let lee sign his paycheck over to me the guy was like"no i can do that its against the rules" and the only people who area allowed to have contact visits are the lawyers. lol makes me wish i went to law scool. lol

Victoria - posted on 06/11/2009

Here's a thought, too. I don't know if it can be done or not, but it's worth looking into. Ask Daddy to record his voice singing her a lullaby, telling her a story, and/or saying a favorite phrase he says to her (ya know: "Love Ya, Bug"--kinda thing). Make an extra copy of it or two. Purchase a toddler tape player and let her listen to it whenever she wants to!



If there was a way to sew it into a teddy bear (or find a teddy bear that can record Daddy's voice) that's an extra bonus!

Natalie - posted on 06/11/2009

thats really nice of them, my moms fiance is a CO in the Billricca (dont mind my spelling lol i have no idea how to spell that towns name:) and he plays along with that story too, my fiance is in the wyatt detention center in friggan rhode island an almost two hour drive so i sucks to bring her if i drive alone cuz she gets fussy. thank god tho shes so little and she wont really remember all this. sorry to hear about your man. it sucks my eamail is alltoreal@msn.com if u need to talk too.

Amber - posted on 06/11/2009

I know what your going through my sons father wont be home untill november, But we say daddy is working hard at the moment & we visit him when we go daddy plays along with the story and so do the screws(corrective service officers) xox good luck email me if there is ne thing else i can help out with amber070@hotmail.com

Natalie - posted on 06/11/2009

she has this really cute clothe book which isnt really a book its a photo album that shes been dragging everywhere with her lately. she likes to flip to the pictures of just her and him. she likes to look at it mostly in the car? thank you for your ideas. if i dont do something like this ill probably go nuts lol

Natalie - posted on 06/11/2009

she has this really cute clothe book which isnt really a book its a photo album that shes been dragging everywhere with her lately. she likes to flip to the pictures of just her and him. she likes to look at it mostly in the car? thank you for your ideas. if i dont do something like this ill probably go nuts lol

Kristen - posted on 06/11/2009

How about framing a picture or two of daddy or maybe her and daddy and keeping them in her room? Getting a teddy bear and taping a picture on it - call it daddy bear and she can sleep with it?Maybe drawing a picture for daddy everyday - (even if she can't color well) and just keep telling her daddy will be home soon. Just thinking out loud :-) Good luck.

Natalie - posted on 06/10/2009

thats a wikkid good idea lol ::digging thru the dirty laundry basket:: thank you i didnt even think about that

Leanne - posted on 06/10/2009

Can you give her one of his shirts or clothing with his smell on it? Babies loves the smells of their parents and this may help her settle to sleep or nap. I know it is not much, but at least it may help?

Natalie - posted on 06/10/2009

if she could talk to him that would be key because she loves talking on the phone but my phone company wont letme accept collect calls from the prison. and ive taken her to see him once but its no contact visits and she got upset because she cant touch him. also i love in peabody MA and the jail is about two hours away and its difficult driving down there with her, thank you tho

Natalie - posted on 06/10/2009

shes not that old shes one

Kat - posted on 06/10/2009

My fiance is in the military and we are on month 6 of this deployment. I don't know if her dad can call you, but my 2 year old loves talking to my fiance on the phone and at night we get out his picture and tell him goodnight. When she really misses him we look at his picture and I tell her that he loves her and misses her very much. This seems to do the trick for us. Good luck!

Tonya - posted on 06/10/2009

Being a single mother of 4 kids I have had some experience with "daddy's gone" here and there ,and if it were my child, I would just say I know baby but daddy's at work or had to go bye bye and possibly get some photos out and tell her daddy loves you very much and will be home soon. The only thing in the long term that will ease her pain, is time, but you can help a little with memories and so on. Good luck!

Christina - posted on 06/10/2009

How old is she? If she is old enough sit her down and talk to her. It's a good time to show that even adults have to have consequences when they make bad choices. I am in a similar situation....but my daughter is small and just now starting to ask why. Not sure she is old enough for the sit down I just tell her daddy is far away in time out. I wish you luck and i know it's hard.