Hannah - posted on 03/23/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )
My daughter was in a school competition yesterday. She was in second place, but she only had half a point less than the guy who was first.
I am really pleased with her result, it was a hard test and honestly the number of points she had was not just good, it was excellent. I'm truly happy about this, but she's depressed.
The subject is something she's really great at-and she expected to be first. I get that. But she's depressed, and there's no reason to. She's second,and that's a big deal, a great thing. But she won't stop crying, and when I tried to congratulate her, she stared at me like I was crazy for even congratulating. She said something like "Losing is not something to congratulate". I am now feeling bad.. She did something good, she succeeded but she feels that it's not good. I wish she would understand that you don't have to be the first to be considered great at it. It's half a point of a difference... Seriously, that's like being the first place. But she won't stop crying, she even slapped herself (!!!) for "being so stupid".
I'm now almost crying because she should be happy and she's devastated.
What can I do?
There are going to be more chances, but she's so sad. She claims that it was "the only thing she was good at, and now she lost that too". I tried to tell her he didn't lose it, she's still good, but she claims she isn't exceptional and special in any way now, and that she lost any motivation in general.
I just want her to know that she is special and exceptional, and that she doesn't need a competition to be that.. And even if she did, her result IS special and exceptional. Come on , second place.. That's great.
I wish she would understand how good she is and how happy she should be. But she's embarassed of her result.
And I'm now miserable because she is.