Daughter lost her dad

Holly - posted on 10/11/2009

Sorry to hear that. I would be honest and just explain that daddy is heaven now, as an angel looking down at her. i am sure its hard because she is only one and a half. My son's father also passed away, But he was not born yet so. It was a different story. so thats the story that i have always told him.

Meagan - posted on 10/11/2009

I know she's young, but the best thing for her is for you to be honest. It will obviously be very basic in the way you approach it, but you have to help her to start adjusting to the idea of Daddy being gone now, rather than later. As much as we think otherwise, children can handle the truth and we should be nothing less than honest with them. If you don't address it, you are doing nothing other than giving her false hope. And that is not how she is going to grow to be a well adjusted person.

You have to look at things through her eyes. A 1 1/2 year old cannot rationalize this away on her own without coming to some wrong conclusions and becoming fearful. You have to meet her at her level. Look her in the eye and lovingly explain that Daddy is gone and as she gets older, she will come to understand. Always be loving and patient, but present reality every time she looks for Daddy. The key is warmth and listening to your daughter. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope this helps and we will remember you and your daughter in our prayers.

Mandie - posted on 10/11/2009

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for you both. I cant imagine how difficult that must be. Yr in my thoughts

Lisa - posted on 10/11/2009

im so sorry the loss.keep his memory alive with photo's and home movies,tell her that daddy is in the sky with the angles and mabey in time a good nite pray too daddy befor bed.she might b a bit young but try to make a scrap book with her,so she has somthing filled with her daddy to go to.

Shannon - posted on 10/11/2009

My daughter lost her father when she turned 4. I understand your situation. It is very hard to tell a child that they have lost someone so dear to them. I told my daughter a couple of weeks after her father passed. She happend to bring him up and was talking about how he wasn't going to live with her grandma anymore and was now living somewhere else. I took advantage of the situation and told her that she was right daddy would not be living at grandmas anymore but he wasn't living in another place either. I then explained to her that daddy was in heaven living with God and at first she didn't understand. It took awhile and alot of explaining. I got her a book the title is It is not bad to be sad. It explains about death and the feelings around it. She has a picture book of her dad and she is able to look at it anytime she feels. It was rough for awhile but she seems to be doing ok now. I remember when she first started calling my husband daddy when we were dating. I about freaked out. It was very uncomfortable for me. However for him and her it seemed natural. I understand that my daughter was quite a few years older then yours when she lost her dad, but it does get better. I think if I were in your situation I would just tell her that the men she sees is not her father and explain that daddy will not be coming home. I don't think that I would tell her that daddy is dead because it was hard for my 4 year old to understand I am sure your little one will not be able to wrap her little mind around the concept of death. Best of luck to you and keep your head up. There will be a break in the clouds one day!

Kevlyn - posted on 10/11/2009

i am so sorry....my daughter was only 14 mnths when my father died (her grandfather)...i just explained that he had went night night with the angels...and she accepted that as a good enough answer.....

Sandi - posted on 10/11/2009

God bless you, sweetie - my sister lost her dad at 2 years old. She didn't really understand. I would not tell her he is coming home, I would not tell her he is sleeping - that can lead to issues later. Just say "no, sweetie, that's not daddy." If you are of faith, you can say daddy went to live in Heaven, or with God. Honestly, at a year and a half, she's not going to understand much and it probably won't take too long for her to stop calling every guy daddy.

Laura - posted on 10/11/2009

oh helen , God bless you, i'm sooo sorry for your loss.. i cant imagine going through this.. i guess i would show her pics of her daddy and keep trying to explain to her that hes in heaven watching over you guys.. i'm hopeful that she will remember him a little bit, just try to let her know that he loves her and that you do too and that you will all be ok bc daddy is watching .. so sorry again, ur in my thoughts

Cindy - posted on 10/11/2009

I'm sorry for your loss.... I don't know if she will really understand why her daddy is not coming home, but just keep his pictures around and let her know how much she meant to him and tell her that her daddy is know her angel that watches over her and keeps her safe. I will keep you and her in my prayers and hope that things get a little better.

Treva - posted on 10/11/2009

I'll pray for you and your daughter, I'm so sorry for your loss. God Bless!

Lisa - posted on 10/11/2009

You should try to explain to her that her daddy is not coming back, but continue to keep his memory alive with photos and videos. So sorry for your loss. Truthfully, there is never an easy way to explain to someone so young where their father is. It's a one day at a time process.

Gayle - posted on 10/11/2009

Oh Helen, I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know how I would cope in your position. When my father died I told the children that he had gone to live with the stars. My son was three at the time and accepted it totally. He still looks up at the stars and talk to him. When she's older you will be able to explain properly.

Keelin - posted on 10/11/2009

I agree with Bethany. Continue to show her daddy's picture. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Paula - posted on 10/11/2009

I am so sorry to hear bout your loss it must be very hard to deal with that and trying to help you daughter. The only thing i can think of is trying to tell her that daddy is coming home maybe that he is sleeping and cant come see her. My thoughts are with you as you work hard to get through this tough time. Keep showing her photos and talk about him as much as you can good luck and chin up

Bethany - posted on 10/11/2009

Hi honey, I'm so sorry first off. Can you tell her no, that's not Daddy and continue to show her pictures and tell her daddy's gone? I don't think you should let her keep hoping for the impossible.best of luck

Monica - posted on 10/11/2009

you need to be honest with her but be age appropriate. I suggest contacting a therapist that can help guide you through this sad time in you and your daughter's life.