Daycare, preschool, kindy..

Avril - posted on 08/14/2009

All Kids need plenty of excitement and what better way to start than with Daycare where they will meet new friends,so many parents cant seperate from there Kids and not the other way around ,Anxious Parents have anxious kids.I think in an ideal situation a couple of hours a week from around 2 onwards allows the child to become unique Individuals.The best Mothering is the one who allows a child to be free to be themselves from early on growing everyday.I know quite a lot of one child Families that are reluctant for there kids to be independent its the Parents who have the Big Needs.However it is understandable your not doing your kids self esteem any favours.Its a great feeling to drop kids off for a few hours and an even nicer one going to pick them up.And see the smile on there face when they know you have come back for them and in the meantime they had fun with friends.

Jeannette - posted on 08/06/2009

honestly because i use to work at a daycare i could never put my daughter in a daycare i put her in a dayhome where there are less children and its sometimes cheaper my daughter was at her dayhome til she went to kindergarden good luck

--- - posted on 08/06/2009

you probably chose a bad center. Not all kids work with all daycares. you may need to try a number of centers before you find one that will work for you and your child. and there is no magic age. I do daycare and take kids from birth

Jennifer - posted on 08/06/2009

my daughter startd daycare at 18mths after i got her back from foster care and its her 3rd daycare and loves it, shes also an only child

Kimberly - posted on 08/06/2009

it all depends i have 2 children one who is 2 1/2 and the other is nearly 1 they r both in a nursery where i work and really enjoy it, we have children start all the time who are the same as your little girl and it is just because it is a new enviroment and it is strange to them but as soon as they get used to it it changes and they love going, the mojority of the time the children will cry when there parents to start with as they can remember they are going but as soon as they have left they are fine and get into doing an activity but then you never know howw they are going to be as you are not with them hope this helps kimberly

Danielle - posted on 08/05/2009

Children who are not made to do for themselves will not learn to do for themselves. It's just easier to start them when they're young rather than to pull a screaming and crying 18 year old into college to fill out an application. Children learn 50% of what they will learn in their lives before the ago of five...that's a fact. So if they are not taught independence young, then they may never really learn it...or they'll end up learning it the hard way later. Being with other children their age teaches them social skills (which are very important in adult life), as well as independence that I talked about earlier. While they're infants they CANNOT fend for themselves, that is the time when you nurture, and love and bond. But once they are old enough to start to do for themselves (SOMEWHAT like what Sharon said), then it's the natural progression of things. That's not to say that you have to be a cold harsh monster, but they should be given a hug and kiss, then left at school. Then they have independent learning time. Then when it's time to go home they get more loving and nuturing mommy time. That's a healthy progression things.

Sharon - posted on 08/05/2009

In todays world we don't have the same family support system we used to. Jobs take us around the world, never mind across the country or state.

It is normal to leave your child in the hands of a trusted adult while you go out and do things on your own. Once upon a time it was to hunt & gather. Now its for a little "me" time or to go to work. Its not a hurry to throw them out into the world. Its just the natural progression of things.

Tammy - posted on 08/05/2009

There is nothing "unnatural" or "unrealistic" about a toddler wanting to be with mom 24/7. That is perfectly normal. Now, if they are 15 and still can't leave the house without mommy, then we talk about "unnatural"! I homeschool my kids. They were not away from me for more than an hour until they were about 6. Now they are the most independent kids you'd ever want to meet. They go off to camp without a second glance. I think you fill their need for mom and then when they are "filled up" they happily go off on their own feeling nurtured, bonded and like they are the #1 priority in their mom's life. Now I didn't say the center of the universe or the ONLY priority. That's where you start wandering off into "unhealthy". They come out of our bodies and (arguably) suck at our breasts. What's the big hurry to cut that tie and throw them out into the world with virtual strangers? That seems really "unnatural" to me.

Sharon - posted on 08/05/2009

I don't understand why a person would want to foster an unrealistic dependence between themselves and their child? Even the cave women went off to gather monkey meat leaving the baby with another cave woman back in the day. I know I asked my grandmomma.

Tammy - posted on 08/05/2009

I'd say about 6, or maybe never- but I'm a little weird like that. I just think little kids want their mommy and I don't understand why there is such a rush to get them to tolerate being put in someone else's care. No insult meant, I'm honestly confused as to why people think that a toddler would be okay with being away from their mom all day. If my 2 year old WAS okay with me being gone, I'd be really insulted. If leaving them somewhere is what you have to or choose to do, I understand but your child thinks you are irreplaceable and so it's perfectly reasonable that she would not be thrilled for you to leave her someplace away from you. :-)

Nichola - posted on 08/05/2009

my son was like 7 months when he started day care and yea the first week or so was really hard he would start crying just walking in to the building but now he is 1 and he loves it he has no problem getting dropped off and I feel like it is really good for him being with other kids

Sharon - posted on 08/05/2009

Stop feeding into her display. You know she'll be fine. She needs to find that out. Not everyone is going to baby her like mom does. At 2 she should be getting to be a little independent. She may be one of the higher sensitive children though and require some babying from the staff to help her transition.

Anne - posted on 08/05/2009

We didn't send our daughter until she was 3 1/2 years old. It was a catastrophe at first. She cried all the time and had terrible separation anxiety. It took about a month before she went without crying and clinging to us. By the end of the school year she loved it and couldn't wait for the next school year.
With our son, we decided to start earlier and we started him on his 2nd birthday. He fussed for about a week, but only when I dropped him off and picked him up. The teachers told me that as soon I was out of sight, he was fine. It's just his way of making me feel guilty!!
My daughter, who goes to the same place, confirmed that he stopped crying and had fun as soon as I left.
After that first week, he now marches into the daycare straight into his class and even refuses to give me a kiss. He then tells me all about his day when I pick him up. I pick him us after lunch, before nap time. He goes 3 mornings per week. He really enjoys the socializing.

Rebecca - posted on 08/04/2009

my daughter has been in a daycare setting since she was about a year and a half. at first it was a home setting and now she's in a professional daycare. my son has been in the same daycare since 6 weeks old. i am completely in love with my daycare. the workers are amazing, loving and compassionate and they love their jobs - it's clear! both children love going, although there's some resistance at first, like any new experience, they get used to it. they play games and go outside, paint and do projects, even have slurpee day and an ice cream truck day. my daughter always tells me about the thigns she did that day and is always happy when i pick her up. they take photos and send them home with projects and other fun things. i highly recommend daycare because it teaches them things they need to start school (ie: colors, numbers, abc's, shapes, etc...) plus they're among other kids their age.



they always say it's harder on the parent than it is on the child. give it longer than a few days. i'm sure as soon as you leave, she'll stop crying and get preoccupied with some new toy or a story :) good luck!

Judith - posted on 08/03/2009

My younger daughter went into daycare went into daycare 2 days a week from 18 months, but the centre she's in is almost like sending her to a family home - it's a converted house with a ratio of two to one, and there are only 18 kids there. She's developmentally delayed, and since the day she started she's been advancing amazingly fast. I hated the idea of sending her at all, but it's been the best thing I could have done. It helped that we stayed with her for the first two days, and then gradually stayed less and less.

Danielle - posted on 08/03/2009

I agree with Kelly. Feeling comfortable with the place you're leaving your children is a huge factor in it! And being separated by age is not only better for social development, but is much safer. In order for a daycare to be accredited and licensed these days, the children have to separated this way anyway. But mainly, I also think that it helps to know the staff and facility, etc. nomatter where they are in daycare. I'm new to circle of moms and I think it's absolutely great for moms to be able to get together and talk these things over! Remember in the end though, no one knows your daughter better than you do. :D

Kelly - posted on 08/03/2009

Age isn't necessarily a factor when starting a child in daycare. They tend to enjoy it more as they get older, but each child is different. As a mom, all you can really do is check out the daycare, and make sure that it is a place that you want your child to be. (you would be amazed at how poorly some daycare's are run) Kids always have a hard time adjusting, especially if they are always with you. I started my son in daycare at two, and he had a hard time adjusting. I thought it was because he wasn't ready, but then I learned that the daycare just let the kids run wild and older kids were really mean to him. At three, I put him in a age directed preschool, and if possible, I really recommend this route. It is easier for them to adjust if they are surrounded by kids their own age. At the first daycare, my son would cry every time I dropped him off, but at the newer one, he would cry when it was time to leave. Remember though, they have off days too, some days my son would just want to stay home with me, but most days, he couldn't wait to see all of his friends. And if you are concerned with how your child will adjust, try starting with half days, a few times a week, and work your way up. Also, do surprise visits as often as possible. It helps to keep you comfortable with the daycare and your child gets a nice surprise during the day. I think that this helps kids to feel comfortable being away from you, especially if they know that you are still thinking of them!

Danielle - posted on 08/03/2009

My daughter has been in the early learning center that I teach at since she was 6 weeks old. Starting school early is a great way to give them a head start, as well as more easily monitor they're development and learning before they get to kindergarten and it really matters. It also helps them to build social skills that will help them in school later on. It's a completely natural reaction for her to want you to stay with her, this is big change and it will take time. When my daughter graduated to the 3 year old room she had difficult leaving me too (especially because I was still there, just in another room) but every day I would give her a hug and a kiss, tell her that mommy loves her and will see her after school, and then leave. Prolonging it can cause them to be more insecure. In about a week she was happy to go to school. Trying many times and taking her out many times may make it more difficult in the end. So whenever you do decide to put her in school (there are plenty of good arguments on starting early and waiting), my advice is that you stick with it and try to be consistent with the arrival and leaving times, and the goodbye routine that works best for you. :D Good luck !

Erin - posted on 08/03/2009

i worked after my oldest was born so she started daycare at 18months, i have been able to stay at home since the birth of my secound child, so she and my youngest DD have never been in daycare. instead we socialize at play groups, they will do preschool at age 3/4 and kindergarten at age 4/5

Jodi - posted on 08/03/2009

I started my daughter 2 days a week in daycare when she was just on 3. It was the perfect age. Where I am in Australia, they start pre-school at 3 1/2 - 4 1/2 for 2-3 days a week, then school (in kindy year) at 4 1/2 - 5 1/2 (first 2 weeks are every day for 1/2 days, then full days after that).



With my son, he was in full time daycare from 6 months on, primarily because I idn't have a choice as I had to work.



From a personal perspective, I think 3 is a really good time to start because they are generally a little more indpendent at that age, and ready for the social interaction with other children. Prior to that, they reakly don't play "with" other kids but more "beside" other kids. So if you have the choice, and are not in a position where you HAVE to have daycare (which I totally understand if you do), then I'd say about the age of 3.