Depression

Susan - posted on 04/20/2010

It very much sounds as if you are depressed. Talk to your doctor. I was depressed for many years, thinking it was different unresolvable situations that made me sad. I finally went on antidepressants and what a difference! I feel normal now. I first took a medication that shut my emotions down. When I told the doctor that, she said I needed a different antidepressent. It has been such a blessing.

Stephenie - posted on 04/20/2010

~Big HUGS~ Lisa honey, go talk to your doctor, it can't hurt and you'll feel better about it! I am also a stay-at-home mum...I'm currently studying to rejoin the work force, but 2 kids drives me bonkers and i can cry ALL DAY some days then spit taks at my husband when he walks in the door, kids have a inside knowledge on how to drive mummy to baldness. After the doctor, get your girls around, some pizza and some YUMMY vino and hit it with your girls....best remedy sometimes is a bloody good laugh with some friends...i cry everyday too, at a life left behind....NAH IM KIDDING,lol...ask for help if you need it honey...all my mummy love to you xx

Keira - posted on 04/20/2010

yes talking to your doctor is the best thing u can do right now!! hope it all works out!!

Laurie - posted on 04/20/2010

Go see your Dr. as soon as you can. You are describing symptoms of depression. I'm not a Dr. but I have had it myself. Please don't feel like you have to put on a happy face for everyone either. You just have to take care of yourself. It's good that your husband is supportive because you will need him to move on. Once you find the right medication and or therapy, it will be a different world for you. Good luck!

Laurie - posted on 04/20/2010

When I was 38-year-old stay-at-home mom, I had three darling children about the same ages as yours are. I had every reason to be hasppy, but I found myself overly stressed, irritable, and emotional. I think I had a severe case of PMS, but it gradually went into what probably was depression. I mentioned it to my gynecologist, and in fact, was horrified when I burst out crying in front of her. She said it was a very common problem for women my age, perscripbed a low dose of Prozac, and the resuklts were miraculous and immediate for me. That was 14 years ago. I still take the same dosage, and have now raised my children to young adulthood. I hate to think what our home life would have been like had I not found something that worked for me. Please see your doctor and ask if this might help you.

Jane - posted on 04/20/2010

By any chance are you taking any new medication? If these feelings are something new, it might be a med. It was for me - I was on Xyzal for 5 months before I realized it was altering my mind.

Bev - posted on 04/20/2010

Dear Lisa,



Please never diminish how you feel, you're not alone love. What you are feeling is definitely depression, I know, I've been there. However, my children are now 17, 18 and 23. Life can be very overwhelming when one suddenly has 2 children, extra expenses and a huge guilty feeling, that one should be doin g more. Staying at home with your children has definite advantages but can also have a detrimental affect on one's whole sense of being "an individual" We get swallowed up in being mom, (which we do love), wife, taxi driver, chef, lover, cleaner etc etc.



I loved being home with my children but did not enjoy being financially dependant on my husband, as well as feeling that I'd literally "lost my mind" I felt I had nothing to contribute to our social conversations except what my children's lives revolved around or the P.T.A. and so although that is all good, one's self esteem can take such a knock.



I have no magic spell Lisa, but you have all my compassion, and all I can suggest you do is the following.



Go and see a doctor and take an anti-depressant, there's no shame in getting help. I would seriously advise you to try and avoid tranquillisors. Then once that is sorted out, make sure you feel peace of mind about your children's arrangements. Then go and have a lovely haircut it'll rejuvenate you. Then plan your life. If you have chores on the way to or from school, plan a route that doesn't freak you out with repetitive trips. Conserve your time and energy with good planning. I am a chef, if you need any ideas for supper, let me know. xxx and remember that God is just a whisper away, talk to Him and ask Him to guide you. Good luck and God bless. xxxx

Kim - posted on 04/20/2010

I was the same way. I was "happy" in public, but in private all I could do was cry. It got to the point where making everyday decisions was becoming too difficult, so I'd cry some more. Please, go talk to your doctor! There's help out there and you don't need to go through life feeling sad and listless. Get some help so you can start enjoying your boys - and they can enjoy you too!

ABIGAIL - posted on 04/20/2010

I had undiagnosed post-natal depression after my 2nd child and then after my 3rd child (3 babies born within 4 1/2 yrs) i knew i wasn't right but was too scared to go to the doctor and kept chickening out of making an appointment - then i was admitted to a psychiatric unit suffering from a psychotic episode (basically i had a complete nervous breakdown) and had to go on anti-psychotic medication then anti-depressants that was 3 years ago and i am still on anti-depressants but they have helped me immensely - i really did not want to take any meds but in the end i had no choice. I'm not saying if i had gone to the doctor sooner that what happenned wouldn't have because there were a number of circumstances which lead to it but don't be ashamed or afraid because they will only help you and after i became ill several friends said to me you weren't right after 2nd baby - i wish they had said something and made me go to the dr. As others have said it is a chemical imbalance in the brain and a different type of illness to say diabetes and the tablets put the chemicals that are msising back where they should be.

Sheri - posted on 04/20/2010

Hi, Lisa. I, too, struggled with the same symptoms as you did, but I had three under age 5 at once and lived in a smll trailer. I was a stay at home mom who found everyday a joy to be with my kids, but faced with tasks that had no end (there was always one more or pan to be washed, one more load of laundry, one more appointment to take the children (all of them) with me, etc. I needed to do something that had a true "end" to it. I did some sewing and some painting in 15 to 30 minute time-slots during the week. It realy helped me to see something being completed that would stay done! Also, I made it a point to exercise at least once a week alone and once a week with my kids on a walk (weather permitting). I know that doesn't sound like much, but those times helped me to feel better about things because I noticed a chemical reaction that made me feel better and sleep better at night. Try a craft or canning or refinishing a piece of furniture or nything that will have an end. It will give you hope that something can be completed and stay done. Also, try exercising to help with overall health and sleep. If you are still feeling depressed, be sure you are eating as healthy and wholesome as possible and be sure to check with your family doctor to be sure there is not anything like diabetes or thyroid issues.

Estelle - posted on 04/20/2010

Hi, I was diagnosed with depression last year and for a long time I wasn't sure either I am also a stay at home mom because that's what I've always wanted to do but I think having my girls so close 4, 7,8 and then moving country when my youngest was 4months was too much.



My hubbie goes away often with his work and while he was away one day he contacted me about a show he saw on Discovery there was a whole long list and if you checked 7 or more items on the list they recommended you seek help with your doctor.



I can't remember the list but it was something like like incorrect sleeping patterns either too much or too little, not wanting to get out of the bed in the morning, eating incorrectly too much or too little, anxiety etc. if you have one of those things I recommend you see a doctor. You will feel embarrassed at first I know I was because I felt I had done something wrong and why couldn't I be like everyone else. But my hubbie went with me and held my hand and we did it together. If he wasn't there I would have asked a family member or best friend to go with me for moral support.



If you don't find out what it is you might feel worse before feeling better. You have to push yourself.

Lena V. - posted on 04/20/2010

I strongly agree with Patti Harris on this issue. I to have dealt with depression from childhood abuse, poverty and no hope in life. I turned to God and began to pray and read the Bible. The Bible is full of essential lessons, tools and life changing messages that are relevant for us today. It doesn't matter if you are a stay at home Mom, a Doctor, a self made millionaire. WE ALL NEED GOD. I gave all I am and my life to God and He changed my life. When days are tough and life throws a hardball, I know I have hope. because Jesus is alive and will never leave or forsake me.



Consider Jesus to be your source of joy, not things or people. People fail and things get old. But Jesus never fails and His love never gets old.



Howbeit, we are instructed in the Bible to take good care of our bodies. The Bible says our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit and we are therefore to take care of them and keep them in good working order. I hope this makes sense to you. If you have any questions, I would be glad as well as Patti Harris, I am sure, to answer any questions you may have. Remember. We love you because Jesus love you.

Celia - posted on 04/20/2010

We live in a wonderful time where there is help. I suffered from depression for years. I was so happy to be a mom, but so depressed at the same time. It's like "living under a black cloud."
Don't be afraid to see a doctor. Be patient. It takes a few weeks & perhaps trial & error to get the right one for you. When it works, you will feel like your best self & your children will benefit.

Amanda - posted on 04/20/2010

All that you have said are the same things that I have on a daily basis! I am bi-polar but thats not to say that you are. I would advise you to go in and talk to your doc. It was the best thing that I ever did It has givin me my life back. I am now happier w/o having to fake it I dont get mad as easy and most of all I dont want to sleep all the time.If ya need a name of a good doc let me know. Amanda

Mary - posted on 04/20/2010

Hi Lisa, I know I already responded before but I wanted to comment on your last post here.
First, I want to congratulate you for making some positive changes. You have had some amazing results in the past few days. And, it is absolutely NOT TRUE that life, yours or anyone else's, would be better if you weren't here. As you can tell from all these responses here that we care about you and you make a difference for us too. By you making this post in the first place, you may very well have made a huge difference for someone else with the same issues, even if they are only reading and silent bystanders. I wish that this sort of thing, or FB existed when I was going through my turbulently depressive stage. Many people on this Circle of Moms are too shy to post and that is also why this was started so we can share and learn from each other.
Secondly, Friend as many people as you know from Jr. high and high school and new people you meet on Facebook. Some I know have a million friends that are not "real", others connect with people for personal reasons. I, for one, would love to be your real friend, even if we do not actually meet in person for awhile if ever. You have a beautiful picture and smile on here. I can tell you are a great person and loving and caring with your kids and family.
Thirdly, keep reaching out. Get the help you think you need from whatever you decide from our advice here. If plan A isn't working, go to Plan B, or C, etc. There are many solutions, you decide which one is best for you. Just keep reaching out. You are not alone with this. Now that we know we will want updates on your progress. As you move past this, slowly or quickly, as everyone has their own pace, you can help another mom to also move past this as well.
Lastly, please keep up the great work. You are already inspiring to us with the progress you've made in the last few days. Keep inspiring us, ok?!

Danielle - posted on 04/20/2010

to me it really sounds like depression. you have every symptom that i have had my whole life. you r def. making the right choices as far as changing your daily routines however if you are clinically depressed it will help but you will prob. need meds. to help with the dopeamine in your system. have you thought about getting medical or any kind of free asst.? if you live in ca. you can call 211 and they will help refer u to free resources that may help.

Clare - posted on 04/20/2010

being someone who has had depression most of my life, from my teens, it is hard at first to realise that you are depressed.

But i would say the main signs are things like: crying about nothing in particular, you really don't feel like getting up, no energy to do anything, no appetite, bad sleeping patterns can be part of it too.

I used to feel like this alot!

And i must admit the doctor i had at the time was NO help and was really unsupportive and said everyone has depression once they have a baby! !!!

I have to admit, sometimes its nothing to do with your life or how you feel about your life. Sometimes you just get depressed :o(.

But i would definitely say go to your doctor and tell them how you are feeling and don't let them fob you off, you aren't being a hypocondriac , i think from what you are saying, you do have depression.

Although it could be something else like bi-polar or something, so best see your doctor.

I have been given tablets and counselling and in the end it went on its own, But i'm able to talk more to friends online and stuff and its not as lonely when you have something to do, or someone to talk to online.

It really does help to have a big rant sometimes , and just get it all out, so having a talk to someone may help you too.

I hope you find some help for you as it does get bad and sometimes you don't even know why you are depressed or crying about spilling the food or something silly. But its real and don't let anyone make you feel stupid about it. Its a real thing that happens to millions of people, at some point in their lifes.

There are lots of things you can take that are natural as well, if tablets don't agree with you. As the first tablets i got made me like a zombie! lol

But then you get something else.

just remember you aren't the only one and it is real . Hope you get some good help from your doctor. :o)

Delia - posted on 04/20/2010

Honestly, I would go see the doctor... You may have post pardom depression... You're doctor is the best person to help you diagnois what's going on with you... Or it could be that you're just not used to leaving your children even if they did leave to go to school and come back.. It's different when you actually have to leave them and go to work or school. I know that when it was time for me to go back to work; I cried every day after leaving them at the sitters and during the day for a month or so.... It's an emotional thing... Best suggestion is talk to your doctor. Good Luck!!

Lisa - posted on 04/20/2010

Thanks all for your support and comments, I never imagined I would get soo many responses.



To answer some of the questions I have read let me say this.... I usually do get depressed more that time of the month, that's how I know it's coming but this spat is happening a few weeks too early.



I also have no "real" friends. I don't know how to even make friends. I have acquaintances and my husband. I never have that girlfriend together time that soo many have said I need. I hope that goiging back to school will help with that.



I think that I have always been sad as a child with thoughts of suicide and what not.. NOW I Will Never do it but a lot of the times I think life would be better if I were not here, I think that may just be me calling for attention as well. I know that I cant ever leave my boys.



I had a break through conversation with my husband last night. I think there are many factors contributing to this. I have exercised the last 2 days and I hope to continue, I really need to lose some weight, I need to start vitamins also.



I think it is a whole mind body issue and I am working on my sex life as well, because I have no sex drive and I asked questions about that before too.



I have not been sleeping well at all. pretty much since my boys were born I toss and turn all night. This past weekend I definitely caught up on my sleep.



I think my life is like a hose with many holes in it and I need to work on each hole to fix it and that includes my husband and all his issues too, That is what we discussed last night. So I will start working on the little things and when I get insurance I will see a doctor and get a physical done to make sure things are good.



Thanks to all.

-Lisa

Vanessa - posted on 04/20/2010

When I was 3 months pregnant with my second child that was completely unplanned My mother passed away. I told myself that I will get through this without help. My husband told the entire world what a brave wife he had, in the meantime I was dying inside.When my son was 3 months old I couldn't take it anymore and went to the doctor who prescribed anti-depressends for me and to be honest I have never felt better. I was so ashamed to tell my husband and when I finally did he was so angry at me for not telling him before and said that if I was sick he was sick as well and he wants to be there for me to help me. now 9 months later I don't drink it anymore because I am over the worst.

Sarah - posted on 04/20/2010

Depression lingers. Are u just moody when its that time of month or more on a daily basis? Do you have those symptoms the majority of the time or maybe once a month. Doctors are all trained to be drug pushers and to solve every illness with a pill. You could have depression but getting to the root of why you are sad & have low energy is more important. Your Vitamin D levels could be down, like mine was. I would look to more natural remedies first to see if it helps. If not, you can always take a prescription. I take Vit D3 and fish oil. Vit D3 is what we get from the sun. Most people dont get enough Omega 3(fish oil) in their diet. It helps with nervous & brain function/support. You can also get it by eating salmon, avocado, & nuts. Exercise is a natural mood lifter for the brain. It releases the feel good hormones that'd you get from taking an anti-depressant. Also, its been proven that women need more socialization than men do. We need friends & other women in our lives to connect with. I know I always feel better when I can connect with another female thats understanding. I struggle with depression as well. If you're doing everything right by exercising, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, taking supplements if needed, doing things for YOU-which we forget when we are moms, and still feel sad you may need an anti-depressant.

Mel - posted on 04/20/2010

Hey there, I went thru postnatal depression and what u are describing is depression. I'd suggest talking to your family doctor for advice and a caring ear. Good luck

ShellyAnnette - posted on 04/20/2010

You're not a hypochondriac if you feel like crying. I'm a stay at home mom, too... it's a 24-7 job with VERY few breaks/vacations... and it is entirely too easy to get lonely and starved for adult interaction. Take the time to be with your friends once a week and have Dad take the boys for some manly bonding so you can rest. It's a must if you are a SAHM.

Also, prescription medication can make a world of difference if you feel you just can't pick yourself up on the inside.

Kerry - posted on 04/20/2010

i agree go see your doctor, the crying at everything and the no energy are big symptons of depression as i do suffer from this, it is amazing how you can cover it up when out, how is your sleep, mine is very restless as well. but do not be worried about it just go speak to your doctor and go for walks etc i did and i tell you even though it takes like 3 or so weeks it is amazing how you feel after. you fee like a totaly different person. wishing you all the best

Cheryl - posted on 04/20/2010

Go see your doctor! for sure.

GENIE - posted on 04/20/2010

To some it is normal, to others it may just not make since! It could be endless possibilities, unfortunately! Years ago the doctors told me I was depressed and I didn't know it. It could be anxiety, one never knows. Do you ever have alone time? Not when boys are sleeping, you at home sitting around by your self alone time? I know you said it was worse when you get home, but maybe there is something at home that is not making you happy and you need to try to figure out what it is. if that does not work go see your doctor, get medicine that can help, you may only need it for a month, or longer. Nothing major, just something to help!!

Good Luck,

Paula - posted on 04/20/2010

Talk to your doctor for sure. My son is now 13, but, when I had him, I too went through the same thing you are going through. I felt all alone even though I have a wonderful husband who was more than helpful, and I felt like curling up in a cocoon and never coming back out - I felt alone, depressed, sad, and I cried, and basically shut everyone one out - the doctor can help - I received help, and a few weeks later, I was back to myself. Get some help K?

Karen - posted on 04/20/2010

Go and see a doctor. I lost my Mum 18 months after having my son and went downhill so badly that i started having panic attcks and agrophobia it took a while until I admitted there was something seriously wrong. Thanks to a fantastic medical team I got it sorted then ten years later it happened again. I went to see my doctor who put me on some new type anti=depressants which I still take and am now sooo mellow but not dopey(all though some may disagree!) Once you find the right tablets you can take control of your life again. I have chosen to stay on them because i cant cope with my mood swings otherwise. I used to have serious PMT rages and downers now I know its just a chemical imbalance and not my fault!

Lee Ann - posted on 04/20/2010

Call your doctor and get in there right away. When you are booking your doctor appointment, don't let them tell you that you have to wait a week for an appointment. You need to get in there NOW. I have been in your shoes!!!! A combination of therapy and medication will change your life completely. Some of us have a chemical imbalance -- nothing to be ashamed of, and need medication. If your doctor gives you medication and your family or friends try to discourage you from taking it: think about a person with diabetes who takes their medication every day to have good health. You would be doing the same thing. Mental health and physical health are related. Often your mental health affects your physical health. Well, I could go on for hours about this but I have to get to work. If your doctor won't give you medication, get a different doctor. Remember to see a counselor or psychologist or psychiatrist also. You are not crazy. I know you are scared, but this depression is fixable and you are going to have happiness again. I promise!

Debra - posted on 04/20/2010

And, there is a big difference in "being depressed" due to a certain situation or set of circumstances. If you are "clinically" depressed, meaning you actually have a chemical imbalance, or a deficiency or seratonin or norepinephrine, you will not be able to "wait it out."

Debra - posted on 04/20/2010

For me, I felt almost as if I have a dark veil over my head. And, as you described it, I had to "put on" a happy face - it NEVER came naturally, because I was never happy about anything. It is definitely something worth mentioning to your physician. Please don't let it go unchecked. I almost waited too long.

KRISTY - posted on 04/20/2010

im the same way

Brenda - posted on 04/20/2010

Oh Lisa, what a rotten situation when you have so many blessings and likely feel you have no right to feel low in spirit.

Tiredness and depression can sometimes get mixed up but do remember that as each day passes you are one day older; I am not implying you are old just that you are no longer a young teenager carefree without worries and responsibilities.

Sometimes a reassessment of our current lifestyle is needed; to give an example I am a serious dancer/choreographer who stopped dancing to raise a family then when I wished to return to dance became disabled with arthritis so will never dance again even socially. you bet I am depressed as hell but have to rethink how can I get pleasure from dance now within the limitations of my health problems.

Maybe you will have to stop expecting too much of yourself and pace yourself with quality time but much less activity. You also mention when you are alone you cry. Is there a connection here? Are you alone or lonely or is it a bad time for you to be alone? You mention a supportive husband but are there friends too? And now you are returning to work; well good on you but do you feel rested and ready really?

Maybe if you have a good GP discussing the right time to return to work should be on your list of concerns.

And even if you are a hypochondriac it still means you need to have these feelings so you have some need within you that needs addressing; I would advise if you can find some me time ask yourself if you had a magic wand what would you wish for.

Maybe you will answer your own question as to whether you are depressed or fed up or exhausted or dead unhappy with something.

I wish you luck and the strength to overcome. Brenda.

Bek - posted on 04/20/2010

no....you have just managed to cite at least 3 symptoms of depression, and should see your doctor ASAP...once it starts to spiral, it can be very difficult to come back from depression once it has reared its ugly head...

Danielle - posted on 04/20/2010

i am a bipolar depressive severe anxiety issues and it seems to me that you may be depressed. talk to your dr. and tell them about your symptoms they will prob. give you a test form to fill out. if they put you on an anti depressant some may not work very well but don't give up there r other types. i went through four before i found zoloft. you also have to be sure to take it religously for at least six weeks. you may not feel the effects right away. hang in there it will get better if you swallow your pride and ask for help.

Olive - posted on 04/20/2010

Can you confide in anyone? Sometimes it is easier to go to tears than anger. Try and feel what the tears are saying to you. Have you had any losses over the last number of years?

Beth - posted on 04/19/2010

Lisa, I'm sorry you've been unhappy.
Start with the basics: Are you getting sunlight and at least 15-30 minutes of exercise? How's your nutrition? Increasing Omega3 Fats, and making sure you're getting enough Vitamin B might make a difference.
As mothers, it's so easy to lose our sense of identity while responding to everyone else's needs. I find it's VITAL to make time for myself--spending time with adults/friends, reading, listening to music--whatever makes you feel good, make at least a little time for yourself each day. Journaling might help you find a source for the sadness.
You might want to get your thyroid checked.
If none of this helps or feels like to right move for you now, then you could always get a check up and talk to your doctor about your symptoms.
Best wishes!

Judi - posted on 04/19/2010

Do you recall always being deperessed, even as a child? I personally believe its something your born with. For as long as i can remember i always had a depression problem. Sad but true. I just noticed the post below about the thyroid. she is absolutely right! I also have a thyroid condition. And that'ell do it, let me tell you. Have had the condition now for 23yrs. Get help, get better so you can give nursing school your all! Good luck and keep us posted!

Sage - posted on 04/19/2010

Talk to your doctor and a therapist or psychotherapist. Sometimes doctors are great but sometimes they don't get it at all. Even if it isn't a medical issue or clinical depression sometimes a talk with a therapist can really help you get yourself feeling tip top. It's stressful to be a mommy and a professional and a grown up person with her own spirit inside. You should get all the support you can.

Mary - posted on 04/19/2010

Please see your doctor. Your doctor can run tests and ask questions that can help you discover whether you are depressed or if there is another medical or metabolic condition affecting your mood.

Being depressed is not a reflection of your success or failure as a person, it is not a "pyscho-somatic" illness. You don't need a reason to be depressed. It just "is". There are many illnesses that can cause depression or depression-like symptoms. Whether it's depression or some other illness causing your symptoms, see your doctor instead of trying to hide how you feel. Trying to hide your feelings is probably making things worse for you.

Danielle - posted on 04/19/2010

I always thought the first symptom was not being sure if you had it or being moody :) I would talk to your doctor. There are so many medical reasons for being run down which leads to excessive emotions. We put on a tough, happy face because we moms are expected to be strong and solid, and that could be exhausting you, leading to the closet emotions. Could be your closeting too many emotions....again, your doctor is the best first step you can make!

Sonya - posted on 04/19/2010

Hi Lisa

I note that you posted this a couple of days ago, I hope that you are feeling a little more positive after the posts you have received. I have two children 2 half years and 6 months I suffer depression after the first and so very aware of the effects it can have.



I hope you have gone to the doctor or considering it. If like me, you'll be feeling terrible one day and the great the next and think that there is nothing that bad after all.



Couple of points for you - make sure that you go to doctor and that it is only depression, had thyroid problem this time, it presents like depression (short course of meds and good as new) - hormone imbalance from having children.



Depression is a chemical breakdown in the brain, therefore your body is not producing the chemical required all the time, and thus anti depressants are needed. So don't worry about taking them, your body can sometimes create it again over time, sometimes not. (think of how many people take meds for heart, blood pressure all their lives)



Another is exercise - I know dirty word, esp. when feeling crap. But a wee walk in the sun can help, gets the blood flowing and the brain recharged.



Sounds like you have a lovely husband - If you can get him to look after the child for 1/2 hour or hour once or twice a week for you the go for walk, swim, bike ride or what ever, if you’re not getting any you time. I know you feel it's a lot to ask but worth it - mine does it for me and I know it works.



Finally keep asking for help, as people only offer when we ask. Take care and hope that this has helps

Shannon - posted on 04/19/2010

Dear Lisa,

Definately talk to your Dr. I was diagnosed with post-partum depression when my son was 3 months old. I was doing exactly what you were doing. Happy face to everyone, crying when alone. You don't sound like you've reached what I call the "critical" stage yet, but you could be headed there if you don't get some help. Please don't accept the stigma associated with taking anti-depressants. I've been on them for 12yrs and I'm not a zombie or not me. I'm just not a happy or content person without them, not matter how good things are going. Depression usually runs in families. It did it mine. I just thought being unhappy was what happened to women when they got older 'cause all the women on my mom's side of the family were that way. I figured that since I was functioning (not sleeping all day or not going to work) I couldn't be depressed. It took my mother-in-law to look at me and say, "Honey, this isn't normal, you need to see your doctor". Thank God she did. I don't know were I would be today if she hadn't.

Hope this helps. Ever since that day, I've been on a crusade to inform women that it's OK to need help. It's just like any other medical condition. Some can be controlled with lifestyle changes, some take chemical intervention.

Kyle - posted on 04/19/2010

DEFINITELY talk to your OBGYN. I had the talk with mine and couldn't feel happier or more glad that I did. I started antidepressants, really unsure of the whole thing - I was worried about having to be on them the rest of my life or taking too much or the side effects. Those are things to think about for sure, but not to stress about. Now that I've been on medication for about 6 months I couldn't care less about staying on them for the rest of my life. Things are SO much better. I stay at home as well and life with toddler is better, my life with husband is remarkably better. I just feel like I have my life back. You're not making it up. Women are expected to do so much in our society and it can get to us. And we don't think we can ask for help. Talk to your doctor. Tell her you don't want to go on like this. It's not normal to be crying all the time, feeling sad, and always tired. You deserve to be feeling good. Meds aren't the only solution, either. Theres lots of stuff you can try out there. Please please please talk to your doctor. You won't regret it.

Lisa - posted on 04/19/2010

Sounds like depression to me. I think you are torn between wanting to be at home with two young children, and needing more adult interaction and the feeling of accomplishment that your intellectual side is seeking. It is very hard to live in a world that judges success by the dollars and title when you have educated yourself for just these things. But being a mother and focusing all your attention on the needs of others are rewarding in a different way. (Just also more emotionally draining.) It's important to take time out to be with your husband for a date, or get out with girlfriends periodically so that it isn't so tedious. If this is lasting a long time and getting in the way of basic daily functions, I would talk to your doctor about it. If you are a person of faith, seeking God, reading the Bible, especially the Psalms and Proverbs, would help you greatly.

Laura - posted on 04/19/2010

Having depression doesn't mean you've failed, or that you have some underlying reason that causes you to feel bad. It can be totally caused by chemical imbalances, so don't feel like there is necessarily some emotional reason behind it. The thyroid idea should definitely be checked out first, along with other medical possibilities, but if your physician can't find something wrong then you should go to a psychiatrist for help. psychiatrists are much more knowledgeable about depression and it's treatments.

Ashley - posted on 04/19/2010

if its always this way and its super consistant id say so

Rachael - posted on 04/19/2010

I thijnk you should talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. If you have been feelign this way for awhile, like a month or more, it's more likely depression than just a phase. I would suggest getting help sooner rather than later so it doesn't get worse

Audrey - posted on 04/19/2010

I have 2 boys aged 9 and 6 and a girl of fifteen years . On occassions over the past few years I have felt the same. Like you my husband never put any pressure on me to work and we were both happy for me to be a stay at home Mum. We all benefitted greatly from this arrangement but I did feel miserable and tired a lot and maybe at a low ebb. The going back to school idea seems great as going back to work and studying for my job gave me a great sense of high self esteem and confidence. It was so simple and it happened so quickly I realised I had a brain again and made friends and enjoyed adult company. I look forward so much to seeing my kids in the evenings and at weekends I really value our time together and we have a little more money to treat ourselves. It may be depression or just that you need more stimulation. Give yourself 30 mins just for you each day. You deserve it. Your Doctor can be very helpful in these matters and if you have any more concerns you should contact him/her.

Danielle - posted on 04/19/2010

everyone gets depressed. it's when it interferes with your living your life that you should take action. my recommendation to you would be to first try to talk with a friend or family member - someone safe who won't judge you - to see if you can find out what's bothering you so much. if you find the problem, see if you can fix it and/or accept it. i wouldn't resort to doctors and meds until all else fails. best wishes to you - whatever you decide. :)