Difficulty Potty Training

Holly - posted on 06/24/2011 ( 21 moms have responded )

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I have having a hard time potty training my daughter. I have tried the reward thing and that doesn't work. She will sit on her potty chair but doesn't want any part of using the bathroom on it. Someone please give me some tips to get this stubborn child potty trained.

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Sherri - posted on 06/24/2011

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If she honestly wants no part of it. You would do better to wait a week and start again. Second once you decide to go at this full swing. Get rid of all pull ups and diapers and use them at night ONLY!!! You need to be sitting her on her little potty or the actual toilet every 20-30mins for 1-5mins or until something happens.

Remember there are only two things kids have control of at this age one what they actual will or won't put in there mouths and choosing when and where they will go to the bathroom. The #1 thing NEVER get mad no matter how many millions of accidents she has she will get it eventually. You can not expect her to tell you yet she is just learning. Panties are not a reward they are part of potty training.

[deleted account]

As a mother and grandmother my best piece of advice to you would be:
Stop seeing this as a power struggle which you must win at all costs. 'This stubborn child' is a little person who is getting to grips with all the things you already know how to do. She wasn't born knowing how to be toilet trained, and she is not necessarily in control of her bladder and bowel functions sufficiently, at this stage, to be able to perform as you wish her to. Give her and her grandma a break and take a step back from the whole potty training thing until your daughter is actually ready to do it.

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Catherine - posted on 03/11/2012

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I should add that she never had poop accidents, but we did have a quite a few wet accidents.

Catherine - posted on 03/11/2012

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When we were getting frustrated about potty training, we bought Potty Training for Dummies. It helped tremendously. Our daughter was really stubborn and just would not do it, claimed she was scared, which wasn't true, she just plain didn't want to do it. After reading the book, we found a section on stubborn, really don't want to do it children. It said to make her responsible for her pants. If she wets or messes, she has to clean up and change herself. In three days, she started using the potty, got tired of changing her pants several times a day.

Chanais - posted on 03/04/2012

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As being the parent, I find that when i say "lets go potty" or "i'm going potty" then my 30mos old gurl will just follow with what i'm doing. The beauty part of all this is she goes 1/2 the time, and others in a clean pull-up, i just have to laugh the stress away....:) she will get it tho, i have faith!!!!

Sarah - posted on 10/28/2011

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How old is she? If she's not 2 or over she probably does not understand. With my daughter i potty trained her at age 2 1/2 and if you do the reward, and the your not coming out until i see some pee pee or poo poo in the the potty ok and if you do i will give you 2 m&m's for pee pee and 3 for poo poo or you cannot watch t.v., or if she does not watch t.v. then she cannot play with her favorite toy.

[deleted account]

LOL, and we made a huge to-do over princess panties. I had princess, mermaid, unicorn, and dora. She did not want to dirty her big girl panties.

[deleted account]

I'm lucky, my girl trained herself. There was never any pressure. I let her run around nude & about every 30 min had her sit on the potty & then made a huge deal with song and dance, and gave her a couple chocolate chips.

We started with no pressure around 28 months and she was 100% potty trained in about 3 months. Even when she had an accident I made no big deal over it, and told her accidents happen & we will be more careful next time. Most accidents occurred because my husband fed her a pound of grapes or oranges in a sitting & she had an explosive poop while playing in the closet.

I just had a plain white potty, no bells & whistles. She also came with mommy every time I did a "big girl pee pee" too. I must admit that I didn't leave the house too much with her over the 3 months so we could just focus on potty training. Let your little one maybe pick out the chair she wants.

Claudia - posted on 10/28/2011

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Post a reply!I think 2 years old is way too late to potty train...I started at 9 months to pot the potty in my lap between my legs and have my baby sit on it in my lap every morning at the same time...about 8am...did this for a few weeks...then I started to put the potty in a corner and have the baby sit on it...give him a cracker to hold his attention...a bottle or toy..after a while something starts to come in the potty...everyday at the same time...by the time he is 2 there is no need for diapers anymore...

Sharon - posted on 10/26/2011

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My daughter was potty trained by her 2nd birthday, we had a potty training weekend, do some research on that and see if it helps

Kelsey - posted on 10/25/2011

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My daughter was just under 2.5 and she learned from my 4 year old niece LOL... I just told my niece everytime she had to go to the bathroom if she could take my daughter in with her so she can see you go. and the next morning my daughter woke up saying she wanted to use the big girl potty... i think seeing someone closer to her age go verses mommy or daddy helped out A LOT.

Pj - posted on 07/18/2011

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My daughter was resistant to using the potty as well. I knew she was ready because she would stay dry all night and hide when she was pooping. I tried letting her run around the house naked and kept the potty in the living room where she could get to it fastest. She was able to sit on it and use it, but preferred her diapers. It got to the point where when she had to go she would go to the closet and steal a diaper that she would put on herself to pee in. That was the last straw for me! If she could put on her own diaper when she had to go, she could sit on a potty. As soon as she turned three I threw away the diapers and got her panties. She would constantly ask for a diaper and would wet her pants frequently, but after two days of no diapers/training pants whatsoever she was fully potty trained. I ended up with a lot of dirty laundry and mopping to do, but it worked perfectly. No accidents since. Good luck with your little one!
Oh and lots of praise really really helps. They appreciate praise more than candy and it is better for their teeth. :P

Candi - posted on 06/30/2011

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An important developmental step for every child is potty training. Most children begin using the toilet as toddlers, usually between 18 months and 3 years old. (Note: It usually takes a little longer to potty train boys than girls. Boys, on average, can be successfully potty trained in 12 weeks. Girls, on average, can be successfully potty trained in 10 weeks.)

Signs that your child may be ready to start potty training include:

Staying dry for at least two hours at a time.
Having regular bowel movements.
Being able to follow instructions.
Being uncomfortable with dirty diapers and asking for them to be changed.
Asking to use the potty or saying that they need to urinate or have a bowel movement.
Showing interest in the toilet and/or wearing “big kid” underpants.
When you begin potty training:

Dress your child appropriately for potty training. Garments with elasticized waists, Velcro, and snaps are usually easy for your child to take off and put on.
Choose a potty seat that your child can easily use on their own.
Your child may want to personalize his/her potty: by letting him/her write his/her name on the little potty, a sense of ownership can develop. Your child may be more likely to use a potty if s/he feels it is uniquely his/hers.
Assure your child that s/he will not fall in the potty (many children have fears of falling in a toilet while sitting on it).
Encourage your child to use the potty at regular intervals - or whenever s/he show signs that s/he needs to go.
Use proper terms (urinating and defecating) as well as the terms your child may be more comfortable with (peeing and pooping). Make sure that you define your terms so that your child becomes adept at using the terms him-/herself.
Start with the basics. Both boys and girls should be shown how to potty from a seated position first. Once boys master urinating from a seated position, they can “graduate” to learning how to urinate while standing. The reason boys should learn to urinate while seated first is that bowel movements and urination often occur in the same bathroom visit . . . additionally, the delay in learning to urinate while standing minimizes the likelihood of your son making messes while enthralled with the spray he can create by urinating.
Teach your child to wipe properly. Show him/her how to remove toilet paper from the roll, wipe, and throw the used toilet paper in the toilet. Instruct girls to wipe from front to back, which helps avoid urinary tract infections. (Note: your child may need help to wipe effectively, especially after a bowel movement, until about age 4 or 5.)
Be supportive and use rewards, such as stickers, when your child is successful on the potty.
Use praise, applause, special songs, reading a special book in the bathroom, or whatever else resonates with your child.
Avoid pressure: your child will likely have accidents during the process. Don’t punish him or her for any setbacks.
Be sure that your babysitter understands your approach to potty training and is consistent with rewards, praise, etc.
Let your child pick out new ‘big kid” underpants with his/her favorite characters (Dora, Thomas the Train, etc.) on them.
Use potty-themed books and videos to reinforce key messages.
Don’t begin toilet training during a stressful time (e.g., moving, new baby, starting a new preschool, etc.)
Recognize that your child has control of his/her bodily functions, and you can’t get him/her to “go” on the potty until s/he is ready. Don’t turn this into a power struggle because it’s one that you won’t win. If your child seems to develop a resistance to potty training, don’t continue the potty training. You can resume potty training when you child again expresses an interest in learning to use the potty.
When your child has completed a visit to the potty, show your child how to flush the potty. Some children experience fear of the flushing mechanism: they fear that they themselves may be flushed away. You may need to flush the potty for your child for a period of time, until your child observes no harm resulting from each flush. At that time, your child should naturally develop a desire to try his/her own hand at flushing the potty. Once the potty is flushed, show your child how to wash his/her hands.
Calmly and patiently teaching your child how to use his/her potty can be a trust-building, bonding experience for both of you. Let the potty begin!

Hillary - posted on 06/27/2011

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Wait, if it doesn't come easy they are usually not ready. I introduce the potty and suggest it daily but never push it and when they are ready the do it on their own. No training involved!

Leanne - posted on 06/24/2011

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I agree with you there Sherri - anyone and everyone needs to be on board with potty training especially those that your daughter is with majority of the time otherwise she'll just get confused and refuse to participate.
Some kids will have trouble with potty training others just seem to take it in their stride, my little brother for instance decided one day that he was not going to wear a nappy anymore and had no accidents however it took my nephew about 6 months to fully get the hang of it. Keep persevering, don't get upset and keep encouraging she'll get there. Goodluck xoxo

Sherri - posted on 06/24/2011

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Then if everyone involved with her training is not on the same page and doing the exact same things then it isn't going to work very well. There will be too much confusion going on.

Holly - posted on 06/24/2011

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She is not with me during the day as I work so she stays at home with her grandmother and I have to say she is not as diligent as I would prefer her to be on the potty training thing.

Holly - posted on 06/24/2011

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She is 2 1/2 and knows when she has to potty although if you ask her if she has to she will always say "not yet".... I have pretty panties for her and she even wanted to wear them one day and said she would go potty but did not..lol.

Jenn - posted on 06/24/2011

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How old is she? There isn't any point in trying to train her if she isn't ready because it will only stress you out and cause anxiety for her...a combo that results in an even longer time for her to potty train!! I bought my daughters pretty panties and encouraged them to go but never forced it. I also carried a potty in the back of my car which really peaked their interest and resulted in lots of potty stops but was worth it because 1) they peed and 2) it was far more sanitary!

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