Disciplining Need I Say More. Talking Back Or Saying No When Asked To Do Something Any Ideas?

Disciplining need i say more. Talking back or saying no when asked to do something any ideas?

Christal - posted on 12/11/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

I have 4 children 7,5,3, and 1. they seem to feed of of each other. I need to get a grip on this quickly so that the younger ones will not get in this bad habit. I want the punishment to fit the crime but I'm running out of ideas. Please, I am a single mom and would love some godly advice!

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Brittany - posted on 12/14/2009

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Depends on the crime. I spank, but only for willful disobedience. I make my child drink cod liver oil for lying. I generally use positive reinforcement more than anything else. I treat her with respect unlike most parents I know, because I don't believe it's a one way street. I say please, thank you ect. to her. She is a very respectful, and well mannered child. She is not perfect, but nobody is. I talk to her a lot. I mean when she does something wrong esp. if its against someone I explain to her why it was wrong and why it hurt the person's feelings. She is very kind, so this gets through to her. As far as the positive reinforcement goes, I made 3 charts 1 penalty chart, 1 reward chart, and a reward menu. It works like this everytime she does something bad I make her go draw a dot on her penalty chart. It is labeled with the days of the week. At the end of every day if she has less than 5 dots on her penalty cart she gets to put half a star sticker on her rewards chart which is also labeled with the days of the week, and decked out very pretty. If she has less than 3 she gets to put a whole star sticker up. After she gets 2 stars in a row, she gets a treat, after 2 more stars in a row she gets another treat after the 5th star in a row. I let her pick something sweet for us to make at home together. After 7 she gets a present. The rewards menu just shows what you get with each amount of stars. She usually only has to draw 2 black dots a day if that. If you do something like that just make sure you don't reward with things you ought to be doing anyway like taking them to the park ect ect.. Timeout works for some, not for mine. Taking toys/activities works for some. I involve my child (who is 3) with any work I do that is safe for her to help with. I let her do things like vacuum. She finds it entertaining and at the same time is establishing a work ethic and feels useful. Her dad used to let her help him cook till I banned him from the kitchen. The tell all question from the 3 year old caused that. "Mommy your not going to set it on fire like daddy are you?" Try just talking to them. Depending on how developed their cognitive processes are, it may work. When I find a particular behavior disturbing or annoying, and I explain why that is to my child. She is usually sympathetic and stops. What are their crimes exactly? I also noticed you said "godly advice" which leads me to believe you are a christian. We also use bible stories to reinforce things. For example my 3 year old used to always say things like "well I can't do it, I'm to little". So we told her about David and Goliath, how even though David was small, he accomplished great things ect ect..