Do I have to put the father on my baby's birth certificate?

Alexa - posted on 03/15/2012 ( 217 moms have responded )

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My baby's dad is a complete loser. Hehasnt tried to contact me about my expectant baby in like four months, but I know he will rear his ugly head at some point. Until then, do I have to put his name on the birth certificate? And if I don't, he will have to prove paternity before he can try for any custody right? I want to be prepared with strong defenses just in case.



His mom has tried to tell me to be civil, but he didn't cheat on her.

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Janice - posted on 03/17/2012

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I will not bore you with details but my ex husband is on birth certificates of my 3 children, and he has court DENIED visitation. He still is ordered to pay $1000 a month plus half daycare and medical. I get to explain THAT to them. Sounds like this guy is very unlikely to do anything for your baby. If I'm wrong, great. You can worry about that if it becomes an issue.



You didn't ask this, but I would also advise you to be strong and careful in your dealings with his family. It sounds like they are already pressuring you. Don't be bullied into letting the baby visit them so they can undermine you. Remember, this is the environment that reared your abusive, drug dealing baby daddy.

I know people will be angry that I say that, but I work in a prison, and let me tell you, very few of these little apples fell very far from the tree.



Good luck and God bless. I will be praying for you.

Jade-Michelle - posted on 04/10/2012

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Personally, it's your choice. I allowed my daughter's father to be on certificate and also agree to give her his last name, he is now taking me to court for visitation despite being abusive to me and failing to show for visits and even on occasion calling our baby a variety of nasty names. In my experience, don't do it. If he grows up and wants to be a good, loving father, great. He can always be added later on. However, if you put him on it, it's easier for him to take you to court and even if he is rejected visitation, you will never be able to remove his name or change your childs last name (if it's his) without his consent. If I could go back in time, I'd have left the father section blank. As for child support, you can go to court for that and get a paternity test done - which he will then have to pay for when he's proven the father. This does not mean he will be added to birth certificate. He'll just be the acknowledged father and pay child support. He could go for visitation but that depends on a number of factors (age of child, if he has a bond, if he has expressed consitent interest in being a father etc) Personally, I would happily forgo my ex paying child support just for my baby and me to escape from him.

Mandy - posted on 03/16/2012

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My ex-husband is on both of my children's birth certificates and I despise that fact every day. He has no interest in either of them, hasn't had contact in 4 years and even stated to a judge that he doesn't want them, would voluntarily give up his "rights". (Not allowed in OK) Anyway, do whatever you feel is right for you and your baby.



That being said, someone told me years ago that my kids wouldn't miss what they don't know. At the time I thought that sounded harsh but it is true. My kids never questioned that it was just me and them. It's only been in the past year that my 6 yr old son has started to mention anything. After several questions and odd statements by him, I decided it was time to explain. I don't lie to them so I thought honest with minimal details was my best option. I told him that he does have a father (not a dad, two different things IMO) but that man decided he didn't want to be a dad. It's no reflection on my son, sometimes grown ups make bad choices too, I know it stinks but Mama loves him more than anything and I would never leave. After a couple of other questions like did I know where he lived, my 6 yr old finally sighed and said "I have you and that's enough!". You do whatever you feel is in the best interest of your baby. Things have a way of working themselves out. Hang in there!!!

Sarah - posted on 03/16/2012

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You don't HAVE to, but it doesn't mean he won't be able to be







You don't HAVE to, but it won't prevent him from petitioning the courts and gaining access to the baby. It is his child too. He would likely have to prove paternity through a paternity test.



Having said this, please remember, fatherhood has NOTHING to do with his relationship with you, it has to do with his relationship with the baby. Please put your feelings aside. I understand that may be difficult because you are hurt by him, but please remember every child has a right to know and form a relationship with their parents. If one parents bars access or doesn't help to encourage that relationship, it can be looked upon poorly by the courts should there be a custody hearing. You may also consider that once your child is grown, they may resent you for keeping them from their father. The same goes for putting him down. Please don't, as much as you want to. Your child is 50% this man. Treat him with the respect you would want him to extend to you. Let go of your anger because it will affect how you parent and how your child will develop emotionally.

Amanda - posted on 03/16/2012

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You cant and shouldnt punish a father because he cheated on you. His mother is right be civil you have to deal with this man the rest of your life now that you got pregnant by him.

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Jade-Michelle - posted on 04/10/2012

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@Katherine White - not sure if that was a reply to me or original poster (sorry, not tech savvy yet!!) My ex doesn't have an arranged amount to pay, he paid sporadically the odd £5 and now doesn't pay anything. I have offered to not accept any money in return for him keeping away but he won't agree to this as he quotes "it's just too fun making your life hell" I think a lot of men would love a chance to drop any financial responsibility so your suggestion could work for original poster, it's definitely worth considering. Sadly, my ex is mentally unbalanced and is happy to spend money if he has the opportunity to punish me for not having an abortion. x

Katherine - posted on 04/10/2012

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Perhaps if you make an agreement with him to forgo child support he will TPR.

Rachel - posted on 04/10/2012

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If your not married he has to be there to sign sain he is the father n its not hard to get child support without hym signing they will have hym do a free paturnity test then u get money for yur baby

Tracy - posted on 04/09/2012

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You do not have to put the father down on the child's birth certificate. Neither of the fathers of my children are on theirs. And Custody is where decisions for the child are made. The one who makes these decisions has the custody. If the child lives with you more than 50% of the time then the courts will most likely give you custody. That being said he can still ask for Guardianship which is where he has to be notified of stuff like dental issues, schooling, religion. Child support is based on paternity. He made the baby he pays based upon his income... and make sure you ask the court to have him give his income taxes in every year for review. So that the child support payments reflect his income. Hope this helps.

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If you were on medicaid (state insurance) while pregnant, then most likely they will force him to pay child support. I went through this myself. He's still not on the certificate and never will be.

Karen - posted on 04/08/2012

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you dont have to put him on the birth certificate but its harder to get child support if he is not

Candice - posted on 04/05/2012

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I AM BEGGING YOU DO NOT PUT HIS NAME ON THAT CERTIFICATE!!!!! My story is the same but when he came back begging me for a life ith me snd my dughter two days after she was born all i could think of was to not have a broken home. i put my daughter on his name. all was well while he had no work and i was the only one providing. he is now married to another womAN THEY are expecting a baby boy and he took my daughter. i allowed it because i thought when i lost my job that she was at that time better off with him. i had a stroke in December due to all this stress. i have found work again now thankfully and once i am on my feet again i will start to fight for her again. it will be a very long process and i dont know if i have a leg to stand on anymore. but i cant just let it go. so honey i beg you save yourself all my pain. dont put his name on that certificate! THEN IF HE EVER TRIS TO TAKE BABY YOU CAN NAIL HIM FOR KIDNAPPING!

Jacqueline - posted on 04/04/2012

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I am not in the USA but from experience, and I spoke to psychologists who deal with children before making this decision, I gave the child a hyphenated surname, his and mine, he refused to sign the birth certificate until they told him about the court he'd have to visit lol but, naming a child with HIS name too does not give automatic custoday rights here - a family court has to decide that - BUT, I was told this by the Welfare Psychologists who deal with kids who don't know their father/mother's families names or anything about them, "I am currently counselling a family. The mother does not want the children to know their fathers so they all have her surname, but, the 8 yr old wants to know who his Dad is - and he has presented over the past year with many behavioural and other issues at school from being bullied for not having a Dad, it will be many years of counselling to sort him out and the courts may order the mother to divulge the details of the other parent."



My kids Dad is violent but, he was still given access - they have his name and mine because, I had to put myself aside and look forward to how my child might feel not knowing their Dad or his name as they grew. I sometimes would prefer I hadn't but I am still of the Opinion I DID do the right thing - (this also goes with names on birth certificates).



It also applies to later illnesses that may be of a genetic or cultural nature - a starting point for location of the other parent or their family for genetic reasons may be necessary.



The final decision is yours but.....look ahead children work out very quickly how good/bad/indifferent a person is parent/relative or friend - you may just have to trust that you instill enough common sense into your child as she grows for her to make correct decisions later on without being persuasive.



It probably might not help much having said this but - sometimes we have to do things we don't particularly like or feel is appropriate FOR US to make the future easier on our kids.



I am not being judgemental here I trust you understand that - I have just said how I dealt with what I didn't particularly want to do - I mean a man who says well I'm not going to be around by the time they starts school shouldn't have a look in, in my books but I am not the child who has to live without my daddy around all the time - sometimes a name is just enough and, they can always change it by deed poll when 18.

Alexa - posted on 04/04/2012

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@ Lynn: I don't appreciate such harsh criticism. I am not a child, and we were engaged. We lived together and were common law married. His daughters knew me as mom. I was the only one who cared for those little girls! I have always put the children in my life first even when they weren't mine. So If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't say anything at all. There is a difference in helpful critism and harsh judgement!! my question was in regards to a name on the birth certificate, not a relationship with the family. next time, please consider the question and the personal situation.



I apologize for my defensiveness, but I am doing my best to create the best situation I can for my baby to be born into. When people respond with such negativity, it can be challenging to remain positive. I joined circle of moms to network and learn from moms worldwide. I do not expect to be fully supported, but I do not feel like a little sensitivity is too much to ask for.



And just as an update, neither him or his mother has attempted contact since before Christmas. We separated at the end of November. If Either of them cared about this baby, one would assume they would attempt to stay in touch. They do not even know the gender of my child. If they want to be involved I will not deny them, but an effort will be required on their behalf.

Lynn - posted on 04/04/2012

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Why did you have unprotected sex with a loser whom you were not married to. I get very upset over selfish children having babies when the don't put the child first. Your baby has a right to know both parents. I'm a grandmother and I would die if my grandson's mother would not let me see him. You need to have a mature attitude towards your child's blood family. He or she is in their family the same as you.

Carolyn (tootie) - posted on 04/03/2012

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You can't write his name in anyway. He would have to sign his name and since you haven't heard from him in so long you shouldn't have to worry about that. If he is a huge loser he probably won't bother proving paternity because he won't want to pay child support.

Christen - posted on 03/30/2012

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alexa, my daughter is 4 years old now she doesnt know her biological fauther and thats how he wants it. ask her who her daddy is and she wil tel you it's my husband everytime. i was a single parent for 2 years kids dont miss what they never had. all she knows is that my husband is her dad he is the one supporting her taking her to the dr with me and up with her when she is sick, he is here and the sperm donor is not. the baby daddy donesnt know wht he is missing. dont force it on him either. a man will come along who knows yall are a opackage deal aqnd he will be the daddy! just saying.


I also want to add that When I had my daughter I was ALONE...well I had my mom and best friend/ her god mother there but that's it! So, when she was born I gave her MY maden name...I figure and as I later told the judge when the x hauled me into court to have me change her last name that if he WANTEWD her to have HIS last name he would have BEEN THERE at the birth, he wouldn't have compleatly abandoned me when I was preg. The judge agreed and he is ON the bc as the DAD but she has MY last name. MUCH to HIS dissmay I might add :)

Lizz - posted on 03/30/2012

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Here in Northeast Ohio you don't have to put your babys father on the birth certificate and when you go for child support yes there will be a call to prove paternity. When paternity is proven they still don't put him on the birth certificate you just then go to court. I'm sure the laws are different in each state. I would just contact your county case worker for welfare/child support and see what they say.

Tabitha - posted on 03/30/2012

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Christen Campsey... She won't get to choose what rights to "give"him. The court follows guidelines on who gets what parenting time.

Christen - posted on 03/30/2012

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alexa, there is no law sdaying that you must put his name on there. and as far as i know if you put his name on there he can take the baby.....if you go the leagle route he will only have the rights you give him. ie can only take the baby when you let him and if he dont bring baby back he goes to jail. also id make him pay for a dna test and all the court costs aswell. it's only fair.

Alexa - posted on 03/29/2012

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I just want to say thank you for all of the responses! Especially to those of you who offered your opinion without passing judgement! It means a lot!! I really appreciate your efforts and information and support!!!

Mich - posted on 03/29/2012

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I got my sons passport when he was 11 mo. Old.they only asked if i had the father s consent and i tild he's not on the bc so they went through the processing.. The req. Are the bc, ssn and my id.

Robin - posted on 03/29/2012

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My son got a passport without his father's name on it...it says "unknown". He didn't get the passport until his Senior year of high school...but still the name on the birth certificate was the same name on his driver's license....he also needed his social security number which also had the same name.

Crystal - posted on 03/29/2012

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Aside from anything having to do with custody, and I know this wouldn't apply until way down the road, but my daughter just went to get a passport, and one requirement is a birth certificate. Anyway, one question they asked was if both parent's names were on the birth certificate. I guess they wouldn't accept it without both names. Something to think about for your baby's future.

Mich - posted on 03/28/2012

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Hi Georgina, yes i agree. We all know it takes two to conceive a child and takes a village to raise em but it didnt clarify that one irresponsible coward parent has to be on that village yah...stay strong!!!!!thats our weapon..

Cathy - posted on 03/28/2012

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Alexa, this isn't about whether or not he cheated on you, it is about his legal rights as they pertain to the child.



He can go three, four, five years without seeing his child but if he one day decides he wants to be in the child's life he has the legal right to petition the courts and ask for partial custody and visitation. In other words, if he can prove he is the father in the eyes of the law he will have the same rights you do as far as the child is concerned.



The courts are not concerned with whether or not he has cheated or you think he is a good guy or not. They are only concerned with his parental rights and if he ever decides he wants to take advantage of those rights you will have to hire an attorney and prove with evidence that he is unfit. So, your question is irrelevant. If he is the father and wants to be in the child's life the courts will allow him to be there.

Michelle - posted on 03/28/2012

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i dont think it matters if he is there or not but you do not HAVE to list him...it will listed as "UNKNOWN".



i only read a few of the prev resp and if he does take you to court he will be listed at that time. Good luck

Myra - posted on 03/28/2012

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Nope you don't have to put him on the birth certificate and you should put him on child support! I have a 7 year old and I didn't put his father on the certificate and he too is on child support.

Lisa - posted on 03/28/2012

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on reading your answer to @Amanda I think that his mother is saying be civil so that she can see the child. if he is a drug seller and have already deserted one child then you stand little chance of having anything out of him except abuse i'm affraid however if his mother is a decent person and wants to be involved in the child's life (and you too get on ok) then why cant she come and see the child on her own at your house or a (safe) desegnated spot so that she can spend quality time with her. I'm from the UK so i dont know your laws however over here if the father is not on the bc then he has no rights over the child. good luck with the birth and hope you and your child have a wonderfull life together :)x

Sara - posted on 03/28/2012

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This really depends on where you live and if you were married to him or not. But for the most part NO unless you were married. That being said most states prefer to side with the mother and unless he can prove you unfit he cannot even think of getting custody. You can get Child support and the child support agency will force him to do paternity test (but that will not give him full rights) however he can pursue some visitation to which the state will grant provided he is not a convict or on drugs. It sounds like you still talk to his mom? if so pls let her be in her grandchilds life. I know its hard when you are cheated on ... my sons father cheated on me in my home! and then tried to deny it. Most men are pigs but there are a few good ones out there. Oh and btw my sons dad is not on the BC but he is still court ordered to pay child support and we live in Ohio.

Chanda - posted on 03/28/2012

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Also, my daughter's sperm donor (that's what I refer to him as) didn't care to have anything to do with her but his mother, father and sister wanted a relationship with her. I allowed them to visit with her at my house, they had to make the arrangements with my at least a week in advance and they were not to talk to her about her father. I laid down ground rules and as long as they were followed I allowed them to spend time with her under my supervision. One time his mother said something along the lines of how much her daddy loves and misses her so I told her her visitation rights were revoked for a month. She ended up mailing me an appology card and apologized for not respecting my wishes. There were no further problems and my daughter is now 21 and has a good relationship with her paternal grandparents. She stil does not have one with her father, but it was always his choice and his parents support my daughter fully in her choices about her father.

Chanda - posted on 03/28/2012

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I was in a similar situation, however it was 21 years ago. I live in Ohio. I did not have to list the father on the birth certificate. When he decided he wanted to claim her, he had to have DNA testing done to have his name added onto the birth certificate at his expense. I don't know if the laws have changed since it was 21 years ago and I do not know if the laws are different in other states. I realize this is not much help, but I am just sharing my own personal experience. Best of luck to you.

Lisa - posted on 03/28/2012

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No you dont have to cause if you do he will have paternity rights but if he does try to get custody i would just go through the courts and they wont give him custody if he's a nasty piece of work but again you have to think about your child's needs too if he's going to be a good dad then the child should see the father - you dont have to like him but you have to be civil for your childs sake and it will show you child that you are a strong and reliable mam to :) good luck with everything and hope you and your child remains happy :):):)

GEORGINA - posted on 03/28/2012

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Dear Mich, i could not have agreed and pray more......for my children not to have any of his genes. As far as i am concern, he is as good as dead. i want my kids to stay with me and to be brought up by me. That is why it is really crucial to be financially stable and have full custody.............i dont have any means to fulfil that yet.......at the expense of my children upbringing. i am crushed whenever i am overwhelmed by this unfortunate situation both my innocent kids have to endure...............All i have is support from my family and my superb positve attitiude (In Born Talent), to take this all in my stride................As i am going through this, only my family and 4 good friends know about it. i kept a very cheerful (like per norm) deposition at work and even to some close girlfriends of 36 years....................Cheer Up Ladies!! Things can only get BETTER for US & OUR CHILDREN..............

Mich - posted on 03/27/2012

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Yes it occurred to me too, but if that evet happen (hope not..) He has to show up , still his son no matter what.. My son's name is going to be put on his insurance as soon as he paid off his reyroactive suppor.that was the court order. He found another woman and had another child and voila he's being a good father... And about the fortune...i wanna believe but i cant coz he was the one.looking for it..now he found a stable woman older than him and he's doing great.. But still my fight for his first born will never stop..i can always reach him anytime and once i demand something he would.definitely do it coz he know that what happened to our relationship was his fault and his family is a full support for him. They are all selfish. I hope my son would never get that trait im praying its not genetic.

GEORGINA - posted on 03/27/2012

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Dear Alexa, that IDIOT (i cannot even address him as Husband anymore - he doesn't deserves that title), also walk out on me when i was into my 2nd tri-mester and my son (our 2nd) is already one year old now. i have decided to include his name because i do not want my son to look at his birth-cert and cannot find his father's name (where else the name appeared in his 4 years old sister's birth-cert). Having said that, i have moved on pretty well, pending our Divorce which for some reason (he was the one asking for it) has been delayed because of NO RESPONSE from him and his lawyers. You can say both my children & i are hanging in the air. For me, it is simple, i just need him to provide financial support to his children. Currently my in laws are helping to look after both kids, so that i can still work and have a steady income. When the time comes, i think i will be having full custody provided he supports financially, if not i will be a weekend mum and visits my children once or twice in a week. This is killing me, but there is really nothing i can do unless a BIG WINDFALL comes along.............I am not sure if the Family Court Rules the same in your country and mine (Singapore), but according to my lawyer, based on his disappearing acts and only turned up 4 to 5 times to SEE THE Children, the court will most likely rule in my favour for full custody - the ball is in my court. I am not giving this relationship a second chance to only get hurt by ridiculous remarks like THE CHILD IS NOT HIS!!!..............That's all i can share for now. Hang in there, Life Goes On, Be positive at all times for the sake of our little one/s. God Bless.

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It could cause complications later if your child is trying to find father for say, medical reasons and you are not around. Or your ex may leave a fortune when he dies and your child will have trouble laying a claim. Who knows!

Mich - posted on 03/27/2012

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Part 2:

Apartment, so i was ok with that.. And month after our meetin i moved to the state where he lives only to find out he moved to different city...he even texted me that he doesnt care about his ki anymore. The next day i filed child support but i never told him.. After 2mos. He walk up with those summoned letter from the court and sheriff looking for him. And he tried to beg me that we just do an out of court settlement.he was trying to be nice.. i didnt fall for his game so we did see in court and he didnt even try to defend himself in front of the judge not even a paternity test..he just admit everything.i got out of the court with a child support,order..he's going to be screwed,for 18yrs . and has to pay a retroactive support for his absence in my pregnancy and my kid's first year.

Mich - posted on 03/27/2012

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It's acrtually your choice if you want to put his name on the certificate, coz that will give him the access to any legalities that you will face in the future, say if his name is in there you cannot just take your child anywhere else without his permition , can't get a passport without his consent, and any other stuff. But you can file child support once your child is born and he has no way out regardless of his name being present on the certificate or not, it's just that if u put his name he is going to be involved in your decision with regards to your child.. I had the same case as yours, i didnt put the baby daddy's name coz it seemed like he didnt care at all and he thought.that he got off the hook so easy so it took me over a year to finally decide to file child support , he wasnt around and he never tried to contact me or visit his kid coz he has a bigger plan for his own life.i contacted him after six months since i had my baby and asked him nicely what his plan about our id. He seem to be ok with supporting him and even offered to help me with my moving near his

Trivia - posted on 03/27/2012

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i didnt put my yungest sons fathers name on his bc. he denied mi child & erything. mi son has mi last name. took his dad 2 court 4 child support. i had him take a paternity test. i knew he was his but i did it 2 prove 2 his whole family. he ran mi name down n his family. 7 yrs later mi son knows of his father. he pays his child support ery month his name is still nt on bc. but i give him the opportunities 2 c his child & he hasnt. he has nt seen mi son n ova 7 yrs now. u do not hafta put him on the bc if its not wat u want. dont let his family try 2 undermine u either. just remember u r the 1 who is loving on her from the get go. now mi other 2 kids their father has nothing 2 do wit them. but his mother whom lives n canada takes ery chance she can get wit them. once a yr she cums 2 oklahoma & takes them 4 a wk 2 visit wit them. they havent seen their father n 3 or 4 yrs. they make their choices. believe i have tried 2 involve their fathers but its their choice 2 not stay involved. its at where mi kids have askd me who is going 2 b their dad. i told them i am & will always b. its hard cuz it seems like u got 2 work double time. but its all worth their beautiful smiles n the end. i work hard 4 mi 3 kids 2 have watever they want. but they kno mama loves them & will do nethin 4 them not 2 hurt & 4 them 2 always kno i will b there 4 nethin. nothin is better than a mothers love

Krissy - posted on 03/27/2012

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I wouldn't put his name on it! If he hasn't shown any interest during the pregnancy it probably speaks to what his level of commitment will be after the baby is born. If you don't put his name on the birth certificate, then he has ZERO parental rights. He won't be able to gain custody- ever, BUT you won't be eligible for any kind of child support from him. Personally, I'd prefer 100% guaranteed custody over a check each month, that is- if he on paying it in the first place... You can have a relationship with his mother- and that is probably why she wants you to be civil (which, by the way- she has a lot of nerve to suggest as an outsider looking in on your relationship).

Olivia - posted on 03/27/2012

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I went through something similar, and I regret putting him on the birth certificate. Luckily I had my daughters name the way I wanted it to be and not with his last name. Plus I think if you have him on the birth certificate that means he'll be there for the birth. Leave it blank until you know for sure. My ex's mom tried doing the same thing, but she turned out looking out for her interest not his or the baby's. Good luck with whatever you choose.

Robin - posted on 03/27/2012

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I am in Illinois. My son is 22 now....his father's name is not on the birth certificate and my son has my last name. It was a miserable first 2 years the father basically wanted my life to be miserable but he finally walked away due to having other children(one 5 months younger than my son...it was a girl and he named it the name I had chosen if I had a girl).Talk about a loser!!! I did not persue child support I did it on my own. My son knows who his biological father is and I told him I would help find him if he felt he needed to meet him. I gave him the security, love and stablility in life he needed. His grandfather stepped up to be the father figure he needed. He will graduate from college in May with honors. He is a well adjusted, loving, level headed son. I couldn't be more proud of him. I feel if I had pursued having his father in his life who has had 3 different families now,(he has and made no attempt to find my son).....I'd have a different young man. I will NOT tell you it was easy but I wouldn't trade the son I have now because of my decision. I have never ever put his father down, although it was not easy! I told my son his father was not ready to be a dad or a husband, he just didn't know how to do it. He didn't know how to love himself let alone have unconditional love for others at the time hopefully some day he will. If we find a dad we need one who will love us, love to do what we do and be happy to be a family with us. I NEVER told him we were a broken family. We weren't! I ALWAYS told him we were a family...we may look different than other families but we will ALWAYS be Family!

If he pursues anything have a not a good lawyer but a GREAT lawyer!

Good luck to you. It won't be easy but it is a promise it can be done and your child can be healthy well adjusted and happy!!! Have a good support system!

Always a single mom!

Andrea - posted on 03/27/2012

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No, you do not have to put his name on the BC and in the state of Texas he has 30 days from the date she is born to add it on, with out going to court. After that if he wants it added on he has to go to court to request a DNA test done. We went though this with my granddaughter. The father was contacted when we found out the baby is a girl, though text from my phone, I still have the text he sent back saying he wanted nothing to do with the baby and not to let him know when its born... He contacted me after she was born less then a week, and I offered to take the baby to the local library she he could met and see her, he agreed, then the morning of the appointment he call again as we were walking in to the library, saying he felt we were trying to set him up to be arrested and he would not show up..to be on the safe side we went head and went in to the library and spoke to several people who worked there and stayed about an hour, just in case he did show up he couldn't claim we failed to show up. My granddaughter will be 1 the 1st of July, we haven't heard anything from her sperm donor and we are fine with that

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Doesn't Texas have a law on the books if you spend one night in a hotel or motel and sign in as man and wife the you are married by law. I heard that years ago so I don't know if it is turn or not. but as for the bio's name. don't put it on if you don't want too. It was the best thing I ever did for my son he did ever ask about him or why his name wasn't on his BC. And it is not anyone business but yours. and BC can be amended down the line. And most of the time if he is on it and court ordered child support they don't pay it anyway. My Grandson's father has to pay 30 dollars a month and he wont even pay that. What the real joke is the state wanted to up it to 50 and he said he wasn't working but he was a crab fisherman he got a bundle that year and still didn't pay, and he is native American and gets a big junk of money every couple of years and still he wont pay. but my grandson get almost everything he want and he is a good boy./ he is 8 now. And we all give him as much love and attention as any child could want or need.

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I didn't put the father of my son on his birth certificate. When I met and married a wonderful man who loves me and my son and our daughter. My son had my maiden name and when he ask if he could have the same last name as his sister had then we amended his birth and gave him our last name it made him very happy. his Biological father is not his Dad. His dad is the one who was there when he was in intensive care for his asthma, the man who took him to karat classes, boy scouts. It is not the man who donate some DNA material. As far as I am concerned if you dont wan to put the Bio's name on the certificate then don't. My daughter son's bio didn't want to sign the certificate because he said he wasn't the father but after the DNA proved he was. then he wanted to but it was too late then..When the time comes my grandson will have a wonderful Dad who will love and care about him. Please do not be pushed or feel obligated to put the Bio's name if he is not going to be a DAD! I feel all children have a father it is the one ABOVE. GOD

I live CA. and my son is now 31 and a wonderful Father and man.

Christen - posted on 03/26/2012

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being in a simmiler situation and living in texas. my ex left me 4 months preg said he wanted nothng to do with me or the baby and he too cheated on me. i told him i was in labor he never showed i had my daughter she didnt have his last name he called cps on me when my daughter was less than 13 hours old. he hauled me into court 5 months later demanding that there be a dna test and pay child support and all that. yes he was the dad but she doesnt have his last name and never will if he wanted things that way he should have been there. he had the cert ammended to where he sighned it. as it sits now he has no visitation to her and prolly never will. my husband is her dad the only dad she knows and that is fine with all of us. he has to PROVE he is a dad he has to pay child support and all that. if he takes the child from you that is kid napping and he WILL go to jail

Christen - posted on 03/26/2012

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actualy, its the suposed father's fault. he is punishing himself. she has tried getting ahold of him, it's hard being preg with a man's child preg and volnerable. i know i have been there. he is the one loosing out of an awesome little person.

Christen - posted on 03/26/2012

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no you dont have to put him on the birth cert. he will have to prove paturnity before he can put his name on there he will have to have to pay child support and pay for all of te costs in doing so also the baby can have your last name. i have been through same situation, so e mail me if you have more questions ....cwheeler21812@yahoo.com

Amy - posted on 03/26/2012

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yes he will have to prove he is the father and no you don't have to put him on the bc if you don't want too I didn't put my kids fathers on the bc well with my first I did because we were going to stay together and raise him until he cheated then I left.... But if he passes away you may or may not be able to prove he was the father so your child can get benefits from his or her father passing??

KEESHA - posted on 03/26/2012

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If it were me I would. He is the biological father. I would teach my child that no mattet what to pray for him and bless him with kindness. When that child is able to hold their own because you taught them too, they may be the influence (unfailing love) the father need. A child's love is powerful!

Venti - posted on 03/26/2012

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Alexa--- in the state of NV you do not have to put his name even if you are married, on that same note you can't go after child support without a paternity test and once you open that can of worms he has rights to visitation. My daughter is 7; I did not place his name on her birth certificate; he has tried to pop up twice since she was born. Everytime I tell him as long as he's changed and can be consistant I don't mind him being present, I've given him the benefit of the doubt. Each time he is consistant for about 5 days. I don't receive child support and my daughter knows about him. He too is a druggie. But the thing that pisses me off and you probably feel the same, is when people say "well you knew how he was before" and I didn't. I truly thought he quit, he hid it well. But good luck and hang in there. Do what's best for your child.

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