Michelle - posted on 02/04/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )
I have been raising twins girls alone since my ex-husband left me when they were three. I have worked, completed a Master's and raised my kids without any help for thirteen years. They are now 16. One of them has always been very difficult. Tantrums, anxiety,separation issues, and she is a very good manipulator. Whenever I have had friends over, she has managed to embarass me with her behaviour and has alienated most of them. Basically, she is very controlling and if something doesn't go her way she becomes VERY agitated. I have had her in and out of counselling forever, with little progress other than she has anxiety disorder, separation problems and is spoiled from me trying to compensate for her father being absent. She has always been fixated on my, calling and texting me repeatedly at work and on the rate occasion I did anything for myself. Her twin does not have these issues.
About a year and a half ago I started dating for the first time in ten years and about nine months ago I met the man of my dreams. Needless to say, she hates him even more than she hates all of my friends. Trust me when I tell you, if he takes me attention she would hate him even if he were a cross between mr rogers and mother teresa. We are beginning to discuss a future together and she is making no bones about the fact that she will not live with him. She wants to live with my parents (her grandparents). We have all actually been living with my parents for about six months since I was laid off. I have now found a job, and I am starting to plan my future. I feel like if I end the relationship with the man I love over her machinations that not only will I be unhappy, but she will just continue trying to run my life forever. I am actually considering tell her, "I wish you would come with me and you are welcome, but if you want to stay here, then that is your choice".My parents would take her. What do you all think? I love her to death, but she can be very toxic. Her twin sister is frustrated with dealing with her and is fine with my boyfriends. Help!