Do ur husbands help w late night feedings if they work and ur a stay at home mom

Amber - posted on 07/01/2010

@ Jennifer Lott then you go get a job with a pau check. You pay the bills. To those using the "sperm donor" excuse- if you are a stay at home mom- how do you afford it? My husband is miliary he works his ass off anywhere from 8-13 hrs a day and can be called in at anytime. I choose to stay home therefore I choose to take care of the kids and house. Show a little pride and stop complaining about how your husband doesn't do anything because he does. If you worked too, then yea I would agree that he should help. Until then- quite complaining or get a job.

Amber - posted on 07/01/2010

That is your job. I am a stay at home mom to two and fultime online student. My husband is military. I work everyday to take care of the kids and house and that is my job. I know it gets frustration as my daughter was a preemie and slept 2 hour stretches on a good night. At 7 months she still gets up at night. I can feel your frustration but I cant say it isn't fair.

Andrea - posted on 07/01/2010

here's something my husband and i did. we took turns every other night. it works especially well if you have a spare bedroom because the person who has the night off can get some decent sleep. the person who is on, obviously, takes care of the baby through the night, and hopefully, gets a couple of hours of sleep in between feedings. if you are nursing and not able to pump, perhaps you can use formula for the nights your husband is responsible for. i agree with those who say you both have a full time job and should both be responsible for night-time care. however, more importantly, you are both parents and you both are raising children. it's not necessarily about who has a "job" and who doesn't.

Sarah - posted on 07/01/2010

This to me is a very touchy situation. One I dont really think he is in the "wrong", but on the other hand I do understand how nice it would be for him to help. I was lucky, I guess, when our children were born my husband worked 2nd shift. He would stay up and feed them at midnight or 1 am, change them and then go to bed himself. The other bonus we had was both of my children, now 10 and 7 years old, were sleeping most of the night at around 6-8 weeks old so when I went back to work it was not too much of a problem. The only solution I have is do your best to talk to him, the sooner the better, you dont want to get too tired and too upset that when you do talk to him your just talking out of frustration and anger.

Jocelyn - posted on 07/01/2010

My husband did but he is a firefighter and also ran a wood working shop on the side, so when I was off work at home, I tended to do the night feeding. He spent other types of time with the kids, bathing, feeding, etc. more in the evenings or weekends he was not working. He couldn't not sleep at night, it really wasn't safe or practical. I could, during that time. Once my son was on a bottle at 5 months, and my daughter pretty much right away, things calmed a bit and became less chaotic and more handlable for me. I am Not a person who can lose sleep and function well.
Jocelyn

Sherri - posted on 07/01/2010

I disagree Kristy it is my job to stay at home raise the kids, keep the house clean, cook, help with homework and get the kids where they need to go. Yes my husband will help drive the kids to sports, he mows the lawn on the weekends, helps with the grocery shopping. He has to get up for 3:30am to go to work where he may not even get home till 8pm at night. it is not fair he should have to get up in the middle of the night too. I don't want him to have to get up at night that is my job and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I know this is the modern ages if I need to go out he will watch the kids but god help what I always come home to when I dare. However, honestly I never ever want to leave them I hate it. I usually only leave them overnight 1 day a year. I always have everyone elses kids here too so usually we have 8-10 kids here every single day. So anywhere from ages 2-13 are here at any given moment.

Kristy - posted on 07/01/2010

Oh and by the way ladies, those of you who commented it was fair because he works perhaps think more about it. Motherhood is full-time if we wanted to do it on our own we would use men as sperm donors not marry and live with them! Most men need to be looked after like extra children anyway! And when you have more than one child it is practically impossible to nap during the day! Usually when one child is napping the other is awake or one is too old to nap or housework needs to be done etc. LADIES THIS IS MODERN TIMES our kids need to know their fathers and a good way for kids and dads to bond is by helping mums do things such as feeding times bathing etc. I know if my partner left me to do everything id most likely walk out. If I wanted to do it on my own I'd have just used a man for the purpose of having children. The way I see it is that my partner does his shifts at work, I do mine at home until he gets home and although I do much more than he does when he gets home, we still both help each other.

Mikka - posted on 07/01/2010

Yes. I am a stay at home mom of two, and my husband does not do the middle of the night feedings, he does not change diapers, he does not do any of the "work" involved with the baby. Why? Because he works REALLY hard all day to allow me the privelage of staying home with the kids. Yes, its hard work taking care of the kids, and yes its exhausting..... but I am still lucky to be able to do it rather than going to work and leaving the kids in someone elses hands all day. Keep in mind that although you are working your butt off all day with those kids - you also get all the wonderful lil moments and triumphs, your husband misses all those moments working all day. And really, if he is the sole income for 5 mouths.... do you really want him going to work exhausted?

Kristy - posted on 07/01/2010

He should help, he may work a lot but the benefits of going to work as apposed to staying home with the kids is that you get breaks and you get to come home and rest after work. For stay at home mums our jobs are 24/7 while our partners have say maybe 9-12 hour days. My partner doesn't help with the feed but he helps a lot with other things. He had to look after our son whilst I was in hospital having our daughter and even hough his mum helped him lots he said he didn't know how I did it and since then he has been more helpful. Try explaining this to your husband or maybe just leave him with the kids for 24 hours and see what he does

Janet - posted on 07/01/2010

You chose to have 3 kids and as stated earlier: you must of had some indication of your husband's parenting style with the 1st two kids??? Was he up with the 1st two kids at night and super helpful about taking them so you could get some time off?? If he was, then I can see why you might expect him to help out with # 3. If he wasn't as helpful with 1st two then why the heck are you expecting him to be any different with # 3??

Everyone is different. I breastfeed at night and wouldn't expect my husband to get up to help breastfeed?? Guess if you give bottles, he could do that...but again: what was he like with the 1st two?? People don't change unless they want to. Unless he forced you into baby # 3, you should be well aware of his parenting by now!!
We are the only generation where father's have been so involved in care of children. My mother had no help from anyone with me or my older 2 brothers. Her parents were sick and she looked after 3 small kids and her parents til they died(back in the 60's) on her own.
Most men in my father's generation(and before) didn't help at home. My father-in-law is still perplexed when my husband does dishes!
Basically, you seem to have a difference in parenting expectations from your husband which likely won't get better the more kids you have.

Kimberly - posted on 07/01/2010

I don't think it is fair either. My husband does the same thing though. Try to make hime realize that just because you stay at home you can't be taking naps and catching up on your sleep any more than he can at work during the day. Good luck to you though, like I said we have the same problem and I have yet to make my husband understand.

Sandie - posted on 07/01/2010

When I was a stay at home with twin boys, my husband would take Friday nights. That allowed me to get at least one good night of sleep a week, and since he needed his sleep to go to work, I felt it was fair. If you do not get some sleep soon, you will not be any good to your kids, or your husband. Remind him of that!

Nicola - posted on 07/01/2010

i dont think its fair at all, at the end of the day you are both parents and so what he has a job, being a mum is a fulltime job as well so techinically you are both working just because your at home everyday doesnt mean you dont work as hard as he does sometimes mum work harder!i think your entitled to a break where he wakes up with them, whoever says just becaue there fella works all day derevese to rest at night is deluded, why should he get a break, its a partnership , half and half not onesided, if he gets a break then the mother should get a break simple really. The baby is his responsibility as well and if isnt helping at all something need to be said it isnt fair on you

Candice - posted on 07/01/2010

i get such a kick out of that...i love how some men think being a mother is not "work". Your job is 24 hours while his is what? 8? maybe 10? heck, it could be 12 hours and it still wouldn't be fair! tell him to try and focus at work with no sleep...and then explain how you are supposed to protect the safety and well-being of your 3 children on no sleep. ugh.

My ex said to me "what? do you want me to be a zombie?"

I said "YES! because I AM!"

Note: he's my EX!

Nancy - posted on 07/01/2010

Hell no it's not fair! HE should be waking up and doing the feedings at night or at least take turns with you! My husband takes the night shift since I take care of our one daughter for 10+ hrs. by myself during the day and sometimes on weekends ... my hubby is a busy attorney and he doesn't complain about getting up at night ... he just goes to bed earlier than he would normally.

Sorry about your situation. I wish that my husband could talk some sense into your husband.

Evie - posted on 07/01/2010

I did let him help during week when I was really just too tired, I thought I could cat nap or something, when he can't at work, so I tried not to to distub him at all. During weekends though...IT'S MY timeeeee yipeeee! lol... :)

Susan - posted on 07/01/2010

I dont see a problem with him helping. You do work too. My husband worked but would get up at night with our son when he was a newborn. He said i needed the rest to help my body heal from having our son. I also had two older sons to keep up with. He can go with less sleep.

I dont see a problem tho, with your hubby helping atleast one feeding to let you sleep more hours straight.

Trishana - posted on 07/01/2010

Not fair...my hubby also doesnt get up for late night feeds...It tires me out and he wants to know why I dont do much during the day (o_O). As father work or not he should help out. My dad used to work as well as my mum and I was raised during the day by my gran...but when it was night time mum and dad went 50/50 on raising us...not many men like that these days. Its like I say...my hubby works 08h00 to 17h00 and my job is 24/7!

Melissa - posted on 06/30/2010

Suzan, I can totally relate to what you're going through! My husband literally never gets up during the night to help out with either of my kids, one of them being a 9 month old. I breastfeed so I don't expect him to feed her but if I do need help with something, like if our 2 year old wakes up while I'm nursing, he huffs and puffs and is basically a jerk. I don't want him scaring my daughter who wakes up in the middle of the night crying. Most of the time he never has a clue the next morning when I woke up or how many times. In the end, I usually find it easier to not involve him cuz he's gonna end up making things harder and worse in the middle of the night. When you have more than one kid, you CANNOT count on taking naps in the middle of the day. I certainly can't. And if you truly are sleep deprived then you may not wake up when you need to (i.e. when the kids wake up). I have also tried to talk to my husband about this (again and again) and he's flat out told me that his job is more important because he makes the money and I shouldn't complain because I have it easy. I have told him that we wouldn't have such wonderful, well-behaved, and intelligent children if I wasn't doing something pretty damn important! I would just like him to step up and be a parent and my partner in this and be there for his kids when they (and I) need him. It is endlessly frustrating and NOT fair! I love my husband very much but this is a big issue for me, as it sounds like it is to many other women. My heart goes out to you all! Good luck!

Dawn - posted on 06/30/2010

My youngest is now 6 but when she was born we had a 11 year old full time and my step kids who were 11, 10 and 5 at the time every other week. I am a stay at home mom, but I had a csection. During the first month my husband got up and gave me the baby and he warmed the bottle and then changed her, even though he had work the next morning. After I recovered from my surgery, I tried to do most night feeding because I knew he had to work, and at the very least I could sleep in longer than he could. He also helped with the older kids when he was home from work and did and still does 95% of the cooking because he likes to cook. He was raised by his mom and two older sisters after his father died when he was 5, so maybe it is cause he had so much female influence?? I did tend to be stingy with the baby, she is the last child we are having so I wanted to do it all so I would have more to cherish. If you are exhausted and need you time, he should work with you to figure out something.

Katrina - posted on 06/30/2010

it's not fair. my son is four and my partner has never changed a nappy or got up during the night. he believs they are my duties not his.

Jennifer - posted on 06/30/2010

Oh yes.... and if taking the kids to swimming lessons and such is too much for you, YOU have the option to quit those programs and use that money toward a babysitter/mothers helper so you can have some time to yourself. If your husband isn't going to help, then you need to make arrangements so you can handle the situation.

Jennifer - posted on 06/30/2010

Ok, First of all... don't complain that you have three kids. I am sure that after the first one, you figured out how they get here and had every chance to stop the subsequent ones from happening. Second of all, HE IS WORKING ALL DAY! He should not have to get up for midnight feedings. You are responsible for the children so you might need to schedule their day so THEY have a nap time when the baby does so you can also get naps in.



If you need a night off once in a while, Hire a baby sitter for the night so you can sleep through the night. I was a single mom with an infant that woke up every hour on the hour AND had colic. (I also nannied for a set of twins about the same age at the time so I had three too) It's not easy but you obviously knew what an infant entails when you signed up for pregnancy number two and three!

Annette - posted on 06/30/2010

I had to have this conversation with my husband several times when our first was born. I suffered from post natal depression for a few months afterwards, so I felt like I wasn't coping. We argued over who had the hardest job, his physically demanding labouring job, or my 24hrs with a baby, plus the expectation of cooked meals, clean house and errands all done. I was a nervous wreck and decided to have a few days for myself at one point, leaving him with the baby on his own. When I came back, he didn't complain as much and started to help out a little more.
Now pregnant with #2, we've already discussed the arrangements. He works night shift and gets home around 3am, so we've decided the first feed required after he gets home from work is his and I can get a few extra hours of sleep in the morning. Also, depending on babys schedule and what not, he's offered to do the feed before he goes to work. As well as help out on weekends with either the baby or the housework.

You need some time to yourself to sleep or relax. There is no reason why your husband can't take care of the baby for an hour while you take a long warm bubble bath or go to bed a little earlier. He helped with the creation of the baby, he can certainly help look after it! Good luck!

KayDawn - posted on 06/30/2010

No Thats Not Fair At All. Being A Stay At Home Mom Is A Job As Well, And Your Sleep Is Just As Important As His. Three Kids Is Alot To Handle, Good Luck.

Gabby - posted on 06/30/2010

NO! My fiance and I have 2 kids, a girl (2) and a newborn boy. I breastfeed my son, so I am always the one to feed him, but he will burp him or change his diaper. He always gets up when our son wakes up. And he works 12 to 14 hour shifts. A mother's job is harder than any job outside the home.

Rebekah - posted on 06/30/2010

I think if your husband has off from work the next day, yes. But unfortunately, he has a job outside of the home that he needs to be awake for. When our son was born, my husband helped me when he could. But he had a job on a product line and around machinary that he neede to be awake and alert for so he would not put himself or others in danger. Do your other kids take naps or have quiet time during the day? If so, take advantage of that time time to get a nap yourself. If not, is there anyone (family and or friends) that would be willing to come over 2 or 3 times a week to help out with the kids so you could take a nap?

Dawn - posted on 06/30/2010

I have a total of six children and even now, my husband will get up if I ask him to. They are older but we still have our nights of uneasy sleepers. When mine were little, we always took turns. It never did seem totally fair because the ex-hubby would only do enough to get the baby to stop crying and then two minutes later it would be my turn but at least he tried....I guess.

Janice - posted on 06/30/2010

No he should help...try discussing it with him. He may not realize that you need help unless you ask. As for him working...um he puts in an eight hour day...you are putting in a 24 hour day...you are joint parents...it needs to be a joint effort when he comes home...it will help so much because you wont be upset feeling overwhelmed and unappriciated...Some of my friends love it that the husband comes home from work he relaxes with dinner with the family but will take the kids outside after dinner or to bath...its that little breather that helps so much...and it will really help him to connect with his children...I always say that it may help to get counselling to head off any issues...they sometimes can help communicate between the two of what you need...sometimes when your talking with your spouse you forget to listen or your so upset you can't hear what they're saying cause there is some much going on in your head...if you find you are fighting...try counselling...sometimes coming from someone else is all anyone needs...because you become so shut off from your partner that you miss what they are actually saying.

Shannon - posted on 06/30/2010

Suzan, you are sounding like a seriously sleep deprived person. Stay off this site and get some sleep. Get a friend or relative in for a couple hours a day until you feel better. Kick you husband out of bed, co sleep with your newborn, hire a teenager to spend time with your older kids so you can lay down and nurse and rest. Screw housework for a while, ask some friends and family to make you some freezable dinners, and GET SOME REST. We women have become far too reliant on husbands to be the all knowing all helping partner and quite frankly they just aren't up to it! We need to learn to rely on our fellow sisters (moms, sisters, aunts, cousins, friends) to help us out. they will if we ask and stop trying to make it a competition about being the super mom! Ask for help from others Suzan. your husband ain't coming round anytime soon. Let him handle the older kids, or let him handle them all when they are older. They are better at it by then.

Elizabeth - posted on 06/30/2010

This is such a hard topic!!!!!!!! I think it totally depends on your situation. For us I was the only one that got up with my first son because I could sleep when my son napped and my husband had to be up at 5am to get to work. He works really long hours as a carpenter on high rise buildings so I wanted to make sure he was rested and not over tired because that is so dangerous. Instead of getting up at night though he would come home and make dinner EVERY night and do the dishes and a lot of the house work so it really evened out. We are expecting a second and now my husband gets up in the night with our son because when the baby comes I am not getting up with both. With three kids you must be exhausted and you have NO time to yourself! Three kids is harder than any career I can think of and you have every right to have help. You guys should decide what is fair to both of you. switching on and off at night or maybe he helps with other things that makes it easier for you get up at night? Either way you you deserve help and its not fair at all it just depends on your situation and what works for you guys ♥

Deborah - posted on 06/30/2010

Oh yes he did. He would get up change diapers and do feedings.
He also did household chores and cooked from time to time.

Ria - posted on 06/30/2010

I agree but that is not the way it works (atleast here anyhow)

Elizabeth [ Betty ] - posted on 06/30/2010

Is a response form a great-grandparent okay ?Fathers giving any help is fairly new. We woman knew that they worked so hard that getting up at night was a no no, We wanted them to save their strength for work, wanted them to survive the hardship of the daily grind. If the daddy woke up at all it was a surprise- and yes it would have been very nice- but mommy could always figure out a way to catnap when the other little ones were at school or napping. . praise him for every little thing that he does, encourage him to bond- -expecting him to lose sleep is like him asking you to cut the grass etc.
A working mom really needs help , unless you like living in a mess all the time.

Jessica - posted on 06/30/2010

"IF I wanted to do it all by my self I would be single."

Well said! I didn't want to be single, but was anyway. Then I had to be harassed about "doing it all myself." People can be so strange...

Chantelle - posted on 06/30/2010

no luv thats not fair either way he shud help u..x

Shannon - posted on 06/30/2010

No, it's not fair, but it also doesn't last forever. Have you tried putting a bed in the baby's room and sleeping there? I have 4 and did that with every one. Baby slept with me, no pillows, a light sheet around only my legs, slept in the middle of the bed. Everyone has an opinion on co-sleeping, so if this doesn't work for you then how about having hubby watch kids while you sleep in the early evening. Or have a relative or sitter (a neighbourhood teenager?) come over for a few hours during the day or after school so you can sleep. Your husband works and you can stay home, he needs his sleep as much as you do, even more so because I am sure napping is not encouraged at his workplace. I feel your pain, my husband was out of town a lot when we had our fourth. I had a 10 year old, 8 yr old and 4 year old and a newborn. Plus school, hockey, preschool and dance and no husband to help. I had to rely on friends to help me get the kids places and was very sleep deprived. It didn't last forever though. My hubby was great with the older kids, he would take them places and such when he was home so I could nap when baby napped. How about that? I don't know how old your other kids are, but maybe have him take them out for the day on his day off and you can nap and bond with baby. I know it's not fair, but it is what it is. Remember it doesn't last forever and it does get better. Trust me.

Suzan - posted on 06/30/2010

Basically my husband is a selfish jerk!!!! I've told him straight out how I feel, I was blunt & he see's how tired I am, but really he just doesn't give a damn! This just showed me how much I mean to him and it's more than obvious that I don't mean shit!!! I just really hate him at this point!!!!

Andrea - posted on 06/29/2010

My boyfriends job consist of him being gone for 2 to 3 day and home for 3 or 4 days. When he comes home it's normal late a night about 1 or 2 am so the first day home I don't expect him to help me with the baby or the kids because I know he's exhausted and need time to just relax. After that he helps with changing diapers as long as there not poop ones. Once in a while I can trick him in to those I just hey your daughter whats you I hand her to him and I take of running then he don't have a choice lol .He gets her dressed for me if I dealing with the other kids or something else I have to get her clothes out for him or she be dressed all kinds of weird. He give's her a bath or me once in a while if we are running behind and we had a later dinner than normal so I can clean the kitchen. He does it so the baby doesn't get thrown of with her bed time routine. He doesn't get up at night he is a deep sleeper and has never once heard her or me in the middle of the night. About once a month I'll be pleasantly surprised when I wake up at 10 and he got up with kids and let me sleep. Over all he a great dad and boyriend with him working and me staying home I don't expect him to do any more than what he does now.

As far as waking a child up twice a night to use the potty I have never heard of anyone doing such a thing. I have 3 kids I have 3 kids potty trained and never once did that. for about 6 months ater they were potty trained the wore pull ups to bed and when went away from the pull up I cut down on how much the drank a couple hrs before bed. But to each his own everyone does things different.

Brittany - posted on 06/29/2010

No. My husband is a police officer. He works 10 to 11 hour shifts, he's on call 24 hours a day, and he has court for the cases he's working on a regular basis. He cleans up around our place just as much as I do, takes time out to teach our 4 year old, rubs my back, and my belly (with tummy honey) I am 7 months prego with our second, and the first purchase we made for this baby was a breast pump so that he could help out with the feedings...he does all this, and it takes no complaining or yelling from me. Marriage is a partnership, not a "dump this on my mate because it's woman's work"....did I mention that he's also a part time student?

Sherri - posted on 06/29/2010

My husband didn't do one darned thing when my children were infants and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I enjoyed every second they were infants and for the most part I got all that time just for myself. I drank it all in. He can have them now that 1 is a teenager and the middle 1 is preteen. Those ages are for the birds. But when they are infants how I savor those moments and I am glad he let me do it all. I have no regrets that he slept and I was up at night those were my very favorite moments. To just sit and feed them, and drink in there baby smell and just have mommy and baby bonding time with no one else around when the house is all quiet and calm.

Jennie - posted on 06/29/2010

I have one of those hard to find guys! When all of my kidos were born he would get up with me and set with me and talk or rub my back/feet or watch tv with me while I nursed. I hardly seen my hubby, cause he was going to school full time and working full time. But those hours we sat up nursing the baby and being together were the best! It is HARD work raisinga family. And you both maid the choice for kidos, so step up dad! Mom keeps the house together during the day and take care of the other kidos, feeds you... Help her with burping and diaper changes during the night time feedings! I am telling you, you'll be closer and get more love for it!

Adrienne - posted on 06/29/2010

My husband helped out with the first two for night feedings and they both are 3 and 2 years old now. But for my 3 month old my husband will change his bum and let me go to the bathroom and then I feed my son while my husband goes back to sleep.

Medic - posted on 06/29/2010

@ amanda- My husband shoots people for a living....hes in the army....and I can bet hes home less than most....so when he is home he can do what I do....and I am a stay at home mom not a homemaker. There is a big difference and I don't love my kids or my husband any less because I don't believe I should cater to them and clean the whole house. IF I wanted to do it all by my self I would be single.

Sadie - posted on 06/29/2010

Sorry, I don't think that is fair at all, your job is 24 hours a day, when do you get to say you are off the job. From the day a women has a baby the first thought when she gets up is, when did the baby last feed when is the next feed due, what are the other kids up to. ask your husband what his first thought is? I think he should help with feeds. I also have 3 kids, 6,5,2 and I wouldn't have survived without the help of my husband with night feeds. If you are bottle feeding there is no reason why you both can't have one full nights sleep on a weekend. Have a chat about the importance of your job too.

Charlie - posted on 06/29/2010

Suzan -

You sound exhausted ! he really needs to help you out a little more , being dizzy , in tears , exhausted doesn't just affect you it can affect the children and he needs to know that , if he is not picking up on how tired you are and how much it is affecting you then you need to be blunt with him , tell him straight out what you need .

I hope you can get some kind of relief and sleep !

Phyllis - posted on 06/29/2010

My husband has not gotten up with the kids ONCE since they were born. NEVER. And my youngest just turned 5. Nope, not fair, and believe me I have constructed many "accidents" for him in my mind at 2am.... ;-)

Melanie - posted on 06/29/2010

it depends what kind of work he does....
im a mum of 3 (10, 5 & 11wks) my hubby is a mechanic & it would b quite dangerous for him to be tired at work!
i had hubby home for 2wks after bub was born then my dad stay with us for 2wks after that & helped look after the kids so i could rest during the day
having constant help for the first month was fantastic, maybe try & get help during the day so you can catch up on sleep.....on the other hand, if bubs on a bottle & hubby stays up late, maybe you could go to bed early & let him deal with bubs late feed???

Jennifer - posted on 06/29/2010

I think it is fair. I'm a stay at home mam and my husband works full-time. My son now sleeps through the night but when he didn't I did all the night feeds except on Saturdays. He got up for work Mon-Fri everday at 5:45pm so it only seemed fair that he should get a good nights sleep for work. What helped me was sleeping when Logan slept during the day. You could negotiate him doing night feeds when he's not at work the next day possibly?

Sarah - posted on 06/29/2010

its not fair unless you are breastfeeding. if you are breastfeeding then there is no point in him getting up and sitting with you. but if you are bottle feeding then he can get up and help you out once in a while. he needs to realize that its hard on you to get up and be up all night every night, and still get up in the morning and take care of the baby and your other children.