Do You Allow Your Child to Watch you Dress/Undress?

Cassie - posted on 02/11/2009 ( 33 moms have responded )

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My daughter will be 5 next month and I've basically hadto stop allowing her in my room when I change my clothes because she gets way too curious about the way my body looks. Originally, my intentions were to keep everything casual and open, but it's made me uncomfortable.

Just wondered if anyone else was going through the same thing? If so, how did you fix the problem?

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Lindsay "Lindy" - posted on 10/04/2011

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We have a son who is 4 years old and a daughter who is 2 years old, they see us naked around the house alot and we see them naked. My hubby and I both sleep naked and in the middle the night if one of our kids needs us we get up and tend to them naked, they take showers with me and I still breastfeed both children. Since our backyard is private we all play out back and swim naked. We are pretty much a nudist family at home.

Lisa - posted on 10/02/2011

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we have a son who is 10 and daughter 11
me and my husband are very open with them
they see us naked and we see them
we do not think of it in sexual way

Barbara - posted on 02/17/2009

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Quoting Chelsea:



i'm curious about this question, too. i have a 3.5 y.o. son and a 1 y.o. son. when do you moms think is the time to stop showering with kids and dressing in front of them? the issue being they're boys. my 3.5 y.o. never asks questions though i see him looking. i've always been open about calling body parts their correct names, etc.





My family was always very open with nudity.  We don't believe that nudity = sex, and we were always taught that it was dangerous to think so because it leads to being ashamed of your body.  When I was a teenager, I would take 45 minute showers.  If my mom had to shower in the morning and I was taking forever, she would just get in and shower while I was still in there, and be out before I was done! 



Also, my parents slept naked, so if you needed them in the night, they would attend to your problems in the nude.  I can still remember calling my dad to come and catch a flying bug in my room in the middle of the night.  (I was terrified of bugs at the time.)  He ran all around the room totally naked after that poor bug.  It was funny, but not disturbing to me. 



My parents always answered all our questions, no matter what they were.  I still call my mom and talk to her about stuff I can't talk about around other people.  And though we knew a lot more than most of our friends, we didn't talk about it with them because we didn't really think about it.  I guess we assumed they knew what we knew, and that it was no big deal.  And I've never been embarrassed about my body, ever.  My husband's parents raised him in a similar way and we are raising our son the same.

Ann - posted on 02/11/2009

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My oldest daughter is 4 and a half and I still change in front of her. She doesn't ask anything that's made me uncomfortable yet. She knows that our bodies look different because she is a "girl" and I am a "lady".

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i think there is need worry about age
if kids are raise the body is nothing to be shame of they will not thing nothing of it

Vanessa - posted on 02/18/2009

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I have sons and daughters, ranging from 7.5 to 17 months, we keep it all natural, my 7 year old son still likes to have a bath with me, when he was little, he used to put the pad strip in his undies, as he saw me do that, we know when to keep private, but also that yes we look different, and that one day too, they will change, i vote to keep it open, they are innocent, it is alright tto enquire.

Sasha - posted on 02/18/2009

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i was physicaly abused by my father and then raped and serialy sexulay abused for 4 years in high school. I was 9 when I started my periods and thought I was going to die. I let myself be raped and abused because I believed that was the reason I existed. My parents never felt it was nessasary to hide their bodies, and for that im greatfull.

Yes, children will ask questions. This is normal and healthy. They not ask for more information than they are able to understand. I was at a Christian school, and there was a girl there who was married off at 18, and happened to be in labour a few beds away from me when my son was born. She was crying and I asked her if she wanted me to get a nurse and she asked me when her belly button was going to open up to let the baby out.

If you get used to talking to them about it and answering their questions, it becomes a non-issue. It does not advocate promiscuity to let children learn about their bodies. My eight year old daughter responds in the same manor towards talking about genitals as she does talking about any other body part. She knows that it is a private area, and that it is for only for untill she is much older. She knows it is nothing to be ashamed of, and it is not 'dirty'. Being open with your children gives them more security - they are less open to abuse and teenage pregnancy when they truth without all the rubbish that other kids talk about in school, and no matter which school it is they will, because it is a pert of being human.

Nicole - posted on 02/18/2009

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i have children various ages and we have allowed them to see us naked and they have till they were about 8 seen me breast feed there siblings etc...they have been taught manners about privacy if need be too many people are too uptight about there bodies and how they work......

Kate - posted on 02/18/2009

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I have four children, all under 6 ys.o. and My husband and I have always been naked in front of them; from when they were babies and beyond; I would hope that all of our children grow to feel comfortable with their bodies and innerselves; relaying what they know as 'normal' at home to their class friends and family is just a natural part of growing up!

We are all the same anatomically and the parts that are different are naturally so. I have found if I am relaxed and don't draw attention to the fact that I am naked; then none of my children really respond to it or talk about it ; when the time comes that I maybe asked a 'qhestion' I will answer truthfully and openly; lying to children only comes back to bite you in the long run ; Everyparent should do what they feel comfortable with, and let the child(ren) pick up on the relaxed vibes.

Amber - posted on 02/17/2009

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Well, I know a lot of people have already replied to this question, and i agree with all of them because they are doing what is right for them. I think that you need to do what is right for YOU, not what is right for someone else. Personally, I have no problem changing in front of my 5 year old son or my 2.5 year old daughter. My mother has ALWAYS changed in front of me and it NEVER bothered me...she still changes in front of me and I'm 26. To me, it's just natural. However, I have never seen my father naked, nor would I want to. When my son (or daughter) starts feeling uncomfortable about it, I'll stop. As far as it making my kids feel like they can come to me with any question they may have about anything, I don't really feel that seeing my body will make them realize that they can. I never felt I could with my mom even though she always said I could. What it all comes down to is what you feel comfortable with. When my kids ask questions I make sure to answer them as honestly as I can without giving them more information than they really want. I also make sure to tell them that we all have private parts and we need to keep them private. My son knows that he shouldn't be talking about his private parts or showing them to anyone other than his family. I feel like if he does happen to tell stories at school, at least I haven't given him any graphic details that I will be embarassed about. Well, I hope I have helped!

Halley - posted on 02/17/2009

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oh my god naomi - please get over it. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



 



as far as cassie's original question, i believe you should continue changing etc infront of your children for as long as everyone is comfortable, (don't think there should be an exact age). I have a 4 1/2 year old boy, and i change, bath etc with him. It is no big deal - he has asked a couple of questions re bodies of boys and girls, which i answered (age appropriate)

Kellie - posted on 02/17/2009

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(FYI I too was sexually abused by my dad the one person I should have felt safe & comfortable around) I would like to say I think that it is healthy for the same sex parent to not be ashamed or unconfined in front of the child our body are gifts from God and beautiful I do think things should be age appropriate though! & handled in a come but correct manner! I stopped changing on front of my son @ 2.5 It is also appropriate to teach your children modesty & some things just aren't appropriate any more & you wouldn't wont them to think it was ok if a stranger exposed him/her self to your child. Story for you @ this time of the story I only had 2 kiddos girl & boy my daughter loves bathes! my son didn't until about age 2! when he saw how much fun sissy was having so I started letting them bath together until my daughter hollered to me ( I stepped out for just a mint) MOM! MOM! MOM! come her! my son gad stood up in the tub & when I came thinking something terribly wrong had happened she looked @ me & with arm extended & finger pointing she yelled WHAT is THAT!? and I very relieved nothing serous was wrong calmly said that that was his "penis" he is a boy & has the same body parts as daddy but they are privet & we don't touch or talk about are body parts to strangers OK? & she never asked again & hasn't really brought it up out side the house! & then I decided that it was time teach modesty in the home & they whore swim suits after that if they bathed together my daughter still sees me change some times but my son does NOT but he sees his daddy change! I think that that is OK! nether of our kids bathe with us though we are teaching healthy and appropriate boundary's and modesty & letting them also know that some of the things that we do like helping the bathe, shower, go potty, rash areas,excreta is things only mommy & daddy can do for these reasons & know one ells can! I'm very open & honest & once they have the age appropriate fact there good & it usually doesn't come up again!;) if you make it silly, embarrassing, or shoe your comfortable they will be too! I now have 3 kids 2 are boys my oldest is a girl age 5.5 & the youngest is 1 she can help with dippers & things for a while but in about 6 months it is time that she not see & that he learn to not show!;) I'm a Christin & I wont my boys & girls to look upon there husband or wife for the fist time as man & wife on the wedding night It is to be a special thing between them not that have already seen on mom or dad! I think by 1st or 2nd grade they/we should be more modest but between the same sex you do what is comfortable to/for both of you. I saw my mom naked a few times as she was heading to her room from the shower & it didn't bother me & I saw her change her close my whole life! but we didn't take shows together but we did all share a bathroom together ('my 2 sisters, my mom & I) we all turned out fine I think. you do what you feel is best, but I think boys should NOT see mom naked after age 3 at the least! especially if you wont them to be respectful of women/girls & there body's! you teach that! well theirs my thought on that! love in Christ ~Kellie~
P.S.
Smile :-) God Loves

Sheila - posted on 02/17/2009

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i have a son thats almost 3. when i undress in front of him he may ask me "what is that" and will be pointing to my breast and i let him know that they are breast and i explain to him that they are used to feed babies. u may feel uncomfortable but dont close that door. u would rather be the one to explain different body parts and functions then for someone eles 2. its normal. i am 20 yrs old and me and my mother can still still dress and undress in front of each other.

Naomi - posted on 02/17/2009

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Dear Cassie:  This is a very good question and I must say because I raised my three sons in the Word, believe me Cassie, the Word is the Bible and it has not changed.  My sons never saw my husband or myself naked.  In due time they will know and learn the difference between men & women..No need to rush things.  O.K. this generation has been bombed right and left through the media, with shows, movies and even children programs where your children and my grandchildren have been exposed to good things the wrong way.



There is a story in the Bible where Noah, remember,the one who built the Ark?  well read it and see what happened in that  specific time and generation...God does not approve at all that our children see our bodies, no need for that my dear



Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard.



21.

When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent.





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Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father's nakedness and told his two brothers outside.





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But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their father's nakedness. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father's nakedness.



With this said, I hope you feel better about not having to expose yourself to your child.  Be blessed and continue to follow your heart, you are doing wonderful. 

Naomi - posted on 02/17/2009

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Quoting Cassie:

Do You Allow Your Child to Watch you Dress/Undress?

My daughter will be 5 next month and I've basically hadto stop allowing her in my room when I change my clothes because she gets way too curious about the way my body looks. Originally, my intentions were to keep everything casual and open, but it's made me uncomfortable.
Just wondered if anyone else was going through the same thing? If so, how did you fix the problem?


 

Jessica - posted on 02/17/2009

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My daughters are 3 and 6 and I can not get away from them, clothed or unclothed. I lock the door but my little smartie pants have figured out how to unlock it. They point and stare and laugh and some parts but for right now, this seems to be the only way I can get to take a shower and go to the bathroom.

[deleted account]

i have 4 kids 3 girls and 1 boy ages 11 to 4 i dnt hide my body away from any of them theres nuttin wrong with changing infront of them

Malinda - posted on 02/17/2009

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Quoting Chelsea:



i'm curious about this question, too. i have a 3.5 y.o. son and a 1 y.o. son. when do you moms think is the time to stop showering with kids and dressing in front of them? the issue being they're boys. my 3.5 y.o. never asks questions though i see him looking. i've always been open about calling body parts their correct names, etc.






This might sound a little uptight or silly, but keep in mind that I was sexually abused as a child so I'm not always good at determining what I should or should not feel comfortable with when it comes to nudity.  I still bathe with my 16 month old son, but I wear bikini bottoms in the bath/shower.  I don't wear a top, because he's certainly seen plenty of mommy's breasts while feeding and I don't want him to see them as "bad," but I feel uncomfortable with him seeing my "front bottoms."  Also, and this may be TMI, but once we were in the bath together before I started doing this and he reached down and got a fistful of hair and yanked.... it hurt *and* I just didn't know how I should feel about it!  I love taking baths with my son, so this is my current solution.



I'm all about children understanding body parts, I just don't know that I want my son to see that particular part on me on a regular basis....

Mandisa - posted on 02/17/2009

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hi, i thought u had a boy, why are u uncomfortable changing infront of your daughter. i'm curious as to what age do i stop changing infront of my son.

Katie - posted on 02/17/2009

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my mom never had a problem with being naked infront of me, and still doesnt even with me being 21! i dont see my mom being naked infront of me as a problem because im so used to it and she doesnt walk round naked infront of just anybody!! i have often sat in the bathroom havin a girly chat with my mom while she is soaking in the bath!

i have a 5 year old step daughter and wouldnt dream of being naked infront of her, although she has seen me in my underwear! but as for my own children, especially a girl, i dont think id have an issue with being naked infront of her until she didnt feel comfortable. i also wouldnt mind my daughter (due in june) being in the bath with my parnter until the age she begins attending nursery/school, mainly because young children like to share stories (ive heard my fair share being a nursery nurse) and i wouldnt want people to judge or feel uncofortable!

as long as your children are raised to be respectful of yours and their body i dont see it as a big issue.



xx

Marlene - posted on 02/17/2009

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My son is 13. We have never stopped him from being around when we change. We have never made it an issue. He is comfortable and doesn't see his body as being strange. Actually it has helped keep us close and the lines of communication open for all subjects. Niether of us feel awkward or embarassed and he comes to us with all questions. So important in todays age. Its up to you... follow your gut feeling... all children are different.

Lisa - posted on 02/17/2009

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I change clothes in another room , also lock the door when showering , this will keep them out ! I have 2 boys -8 and 5 !

[deleted account]

I think there is a way with being open with your children without being naked in front of them. I stopped undressing in front of my children when they were about two. I'm all for teaching my children the gross anatomy( google it before you comment, please) of the body, but they don't need to see my body. I wouldn't let them see their father naked so why should I be any different. In my opinion, it's inappropriate.

Cassie - posted on 02/17/2009

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I have only showered with my daughter a couple times when we were on vacation and it was necessary, but that was about a year ago.



I don't know with boys and their mom, though...you may want to stop before they go to school. It seems like once kids start school, they run the risk of their friends finding out and possibly teasing them about stuff. I have been trying to talk with my daughter about not sucking her thumb all the time because I don't want her to be teased at school.

Chelsea - posted on 02/11/2009

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i'm curious about this question, too. i have a 3.5 y.o. son and a 1 y.o. son. when do you moms think is the time to stop showering with kids and dressing in front of them? the issue being they're boys. my 3.5 y.o. never asks questions though i see him looking. i've always been open about calling body parts their correct names, etc.

Jessica - posted on 02/11/2009

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I used to change in front of my oldest daughter, who is now 5. But one day she started drawing pictures of our family, and my "picture" was a stick figure with two huge circles on its chest. When asked about it, she said "That's my mommy. And those are her big boobies!" Needless to say, I don't change in front of her anymore!

Sibyl - posted on 02/11/2009

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My daughter is 12 now and I've been very open with her and always changed in front of her.  Even though she is developing now, she is still extremely comfortable being naked in front of me.  She knows that she can ask me ANYTHING.  I feel very proud of that fact, as I could never talk openly with my Mom about my body, sex, or anything like that.  I think the more open and honest (age appropriate, of course) you can be with your daughter, the closer your relationship will be and she'll feel comfortable coming to you with everything!!!

Ann - posted on 02/11/2009

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Yes, I think the key is to keep it age-appropriate, because they will repeat it at the most embarrasing moment!

Cheryl - posted on 02/11/2009

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i have never had a problem undressing in front of  my 3 children, its never been a big issue and my children two of which are teenagers are very comfortble with their bodies. if they ever asked questions i answered them honestly and with an age appropriate answer

Cassie - posted on 02/11/2009

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Very true- I don't want her to feel like she can't come and talk to me. My mom never really made me feel comfortable asking about that stuff.



Thanks for the advice!

Cassie - posted on 02/11/2009

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yeah, we have talked about that her and I are different and that we are different than boys, but I'm trying not to get too in depth because last time we had a conversation, she went to preschool and told all her friends which REALLY embarressed me!



 



i'm hoping maybe this is just a phase she goes through as she is very inquizitive.



 



thanks!

Sheilagh - posted on 02/11/2009

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 My mum was always uncomfortable with me asking questions or being around her when she changed, I never wanted my daughter (now 15) to feel there was anything wrong with the human form in whatever shape or size.  I always took the line that I would move between bedroom and bathroom naked until such time as she felt uncomfortable with it.  That happened when she was about 11 and her own body started to change.  There were some awkward moments but it's far better that your daughter feels able to ask questions that sits and wonders or worries by herself. =)

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