Do you have limits for cell phone use during homework and/or during sleeping hours?

Susan - posted on 01/22/2012

With my teen boys, cell phones have always been a privliage never a right. So firm rules where made about bedtime, homework, in public and family time. It was well known that grounding could include their cell phones. But we have also used this as a teaching time. We model good cell phone behavior and be respectful with reminders to them and their use. But, as a parent I too have begun to depend on their cell phones. I enjoy being able to get a hold of them anytime. We have also had to talk about what to do when girls send pictures to them in various stages of undress. We encourage them to delete it quickly. Also we talk about what could happen if the picture fell into the wrong hands.I guess in our home cell phones have just become part of the landscape. We too hear often that no one elses parents: have curfews, bedtimes, cell and computer rules. But I just say well I guess you are just lucky to have us for your parents.

Michelle - posted on 01/22/2012

My daughters cell phone was blocked by parental controls during school hours7am to 4pm, with the exception of her lunch break, and from 8pm on during school nights, 9 pm on the weekends. and was not unblocked until 10am on the weekends. Homework had to be done before any texting or calling started after school and if it was not done, the phone was blocked for a week.

Jen - posted on 01/22/2012

I think lots of parents limit cell phone use and although it's hard to believe looking around, there are some teens who are not allowed cell phones at all. My 14 yo and 13 yo (he just got his first phone) don't use their phones that much, by their own choice. However, there are times when we insist that they end the conversation if they happen to be texting - during dinner is one example. They also don't take the phone into their rooms at bedtime. It's perfectly reasonable to define certain times when cell phone use is not allowed, especially if the phone has affected their grades or caused other trouble.

Nkiru - posted on 01/21/2012

In our home, we similarly banned the use of phones at night when they could make or receive free midnight calls. It does affect them in school the next day and cumulative impact is a drop in grades. We had to even stop our teen daughter from going on face book during school days. Of course they dont like it but it's for their good, so we insist.

Nkiru

Nkiru - posted on 01/21/2012

In our home, we similarly banned the use of phones at night when they could make or receive free midnight calls. It does affect them in school the next day and cumulative impact is a drop in grades. We had to even stop our teen daughter from going on face book during school days. Of course they dont like it but it's for their good, so we insist.

Nkiru

Kathleen - posted on 01/19/2012

Thank all of you for your replies and support. I can tell my kids there are many, many teens out there with rules re: cell phone use--as there should be!

Jessi - posted on 01/19/2012

There are rules for cell phone use in our home. Our daughter got into some trouble texting and so at the moment is only allowed to text from 3-5pm and no phone calls after 9. We also don't let her phone go to her room at all we just told her that we don't have to leave the room to make a call and if she does then she is talking about something she shouldn't be. So like i said she is on restriction right now but even when she is not she has time limits and the phone is not to leave the living room unless she is spending the night at granny's house. However I should add that these rules are not followed at her biomoms house which is where she is most of the time, but I do know they agree with us on the no phone in the bedroom and never to have it at night. Kids disconect from family when they are given total access to things like computers and cell phones, and we want her to remember that as a family we only work if we all talk together. Hope that was helpful.

Susan - posted on 01/18/2012

No phone use during homework or sleep time in our household. If they break the rule, they lose their phones privileges.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 01/17/2012

Limit Limit Limit!! You pay the bill and they are under your discipline! I absolutely limit my daughters phone, she is 13 and JUST got one. It is a very basic plan, no internet. However, the rules and boudaries were laid out before she even touched it. My daughter is in bed at 9:30pm and her phone is off by 9pm. She is not allowed it at the kitchen table, which is where she also must do her homework... I agree with you, don't give in! ;)

Melani - posted on 01/17/2012

We have a 12 and 9 year old that both have phones. Honestly, we have never had a problem either of them ... when they got their phones the rules were set out and understood. The girls are allowed yo have their phones in their took to chat (but the door MUST remain open) but the charger remains in the KITCHEN!!! Once homework and chores done then they can talk but come 9 -- phones are on the charger. Luckily the kids friends and the parents know the rules and we have only had to tell the kids once not to call after 9. Our kids value the limited times we allow the phone so they hate when they are lost for punishment for grades or attitude!! We also are pretty strict when out having family time ... phone ok in car but once inside restaurant or movies - whatever, phone stays on the car. If it is that huge of issue or emergency, they can call me or my husband!!

Alisha - posted on 01/16/2012

Tell your children that you are their authority and you care about their well-being. Where they are not making good decisions, you are there to make them for them and that they are going to have to obey you or not have cell phones at all. You are doing the right thing by protecting your children and restricting too much of a 'good thing.' Don't let them or anyone else tell you what you are doing is too harsh. You are the bosses and your childrens authority! My daughter is only 6, but if she did have a cell phone I absolutely would restrict it. My parents did not do that for me and there were many guys texting me inappropriate things that my dad and mom should have protected me from.

Pamela - posted on 01/15/2012

Sounds like you have made a wise choice. I would not even give a cell phone to my children unless there was a TRUE reason for me to be in need of contact while they were away from home.



Our society has grown so permissive and that old saying "Everybody else has one", never worked in my family as a child and would not have worked in my family if my children were teens now. Just because they are available and so many children have them is not a reason for me.



I have recently lived and taught in other countries and believe me, the majority of the teens DO NOT HAVE CELL PHONES, even though their parents do.



In many ways it's a "status" things and therefore is to be avoided unless absolutely necessary for contact when a child is not at home.



In my opinion you have made a wise decision. Keep up the good parenting, so many do not seem capable of such these days!!!

Bree - posted on 01/15/2012

We have the same rule in our home!

Bryndís - posted on 01/15/2012

What other parents do is not relevant, this is your house and you make the rules. Don't let your teens confuse you with the classic "everybody else..." I have some rules on cellphone and computer use and I don't have any problems :) Stick to your decision. Good luck :)

Motherofmany - posted on 01/14/2012

We have a very large family and have had to learn the hard way with this one...let me just say our oldest child (now an adult) still has issues and has made very poor decisions due to problems that arose from un-monitored cell phone usage. Without parental monitoring and guidance a child is left to their own temptations and lets just say some kids/teens are weaker than others....this child of ours was THE MOST reliable, trustworthy of all and over a few years time with little or no restrictions with cell usage as well as Internet some very bad things happened....all because we thought the best of him/her and that with our homeschooling and Christian Faith nothing would happen. How wrong we were!



Question in the long run is: would you rather have a child/teen balk at restrictions, even complain for years or see them broken-hearted and emotionally and physically damaged for perhaps their whole life?! Take it from me....slap the restrictions on even if you are the only parent.



P.S. all our other children are having the restrictions...no matter WHAT their tendencies! Learn from our heartache! :) happy parenting, heh.

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2012

We do 9:30 on school nights as a cut-off and 10:00 on weekends for our 15-year-old. We allow her to have it during homework, but I ask her if she needs me to take it from her if she has a heavy-homework day. I would usually lean toward just taking it from her during homework but I do want her to build up her own self-control and learn to trust herself. I will check in on her to see if she's abusing this trust. At bedtime if she is caught using it after the appointed time, I hold it the next day until bedtime (she uses it as an alarm so she needs it then). We do a lot of explaining and discussion in our house, so the rule comes with a discussion of WHY there is a cut-off to texting . . . boundaries, you need sleep, etc. She listens to the logic and learns the lesson behind the rule that way. Also, we don't allow texting at the dinner table. That's just courtesy. Kids won't like a lot of what we do as parents, that probably means we're doing our job. :) Keep it up!

Cindy - posted on 01/14/2012

I think it doesn't matter what happens in any other household !! It's about parenting and what works for you and yours. So, I think your way is what works in your family!!

You are correct, in my opinion from what I see kids will text til 2 am, even on a school nite. And in fact til 10 or the phone is taken away. My kids are 28, B, and 25. G.... But what I know is what see with my own eyes!!

Susan - posted on 01/14/2012

We have two teens still at home. We have the chargers for all our cells on the kitchen counter outside our room. ALL phones have to be there by bedtime. Our 14 yo daughter has a 9 pm cutoff or she'd never stop texting. Rarely do our 16 yo son or daughter make calls - they text, a LOT. No phones during homework or chores. If either have grades drop, phones, other electronics (XBOX and TV) privileges, plus sleepovers are gone until the grades are brought up. No phones allowed during meals. Latest rule - no texting in the car or we're talking. They've just brought an unseen person into our presence. Daughter just got a Kindle Fire so I'm going to have to figure out rules on this one as we go since she's a reader, but it also can go to Facebook.

Julie - posted on 01/14/2012

We definitely have rules for cell phone use. No cell phones before 7:30am on weekends and never before school. No land line calling before 9:00am on weekends. In the evening, no phones of any sort after 9:00pm, sometimes we cut it off at 8:30pm. Skype (my son uses it to talk with a friend across town) is ok if both kids are awake in the morning, because it doesn't wake anyone else in either house.

Teresa - posted on 01/14/2012

Don't have teens yet, but my 10 year olds will be getting a phone by this summer. I will set limits if I have to. They are only getting it for going into middle school since they will be riding the bus for the first time, talking to their dad (hoping that'll start happening more than once a month....), and if they happen to be home before I am since we don't have a landline. They will, of course, have to have their phone off and in their locker/backpack during school hours or they will risk the school taking it and I will NOT be replacing it for them.

Liteboho - posted on 01/14/2012

No Cellphone during school, cellphone use is for Weekends and holidays, some people claim that children need phones to keep contact with parents should anything happen to kids at school but we managed to go all the way without Cellphone what makes things change now?

Danielle - posted on 01/14/2012

My 17yo daughter isn't allowed to use her cell or be on the phone after 8:30pm. That's been the rule since I divorced her dad. If she needs to speak w/someone after 8:30pm, then she has to ask me specifically. Depending on how she's doing w/chores &/or her grades, she'll be grounded from her cell completely.

Kiyada - posted on 01/14/2012

I have a teen 17yrs old and when her grades drop the phone gpr taken away, I told her having cell phone is a privilege you have to earn your phone back by maintaining your grades. Once she brought those grade up she got her phone back, I believe at every child needs to read before bedtime, a child can never do enough reading it's good for their and vocabulary.

Lisa - posted on 01/14/2012

We limit during homework, meals & by 9pm every night. I don't care if "all the other kids" get their phones all the time. We have rules for a reason, like it or not. Hold your ground! I know, they are relentless & sometimes we all give in because we're tired of the whining or fussing, but this is a battle I will not give up on. Keep up the good work!

Loanda - posted on 01/14/2012

I have a 15 yr and 12 yr old, both boys. I do find you have to restrict the use of their cellphones esp near exam times as well. It is definitely a distraction for them as this is today's means to communicate with friends and esp girlfriends and some of them speak till the wee hours of the morning... how do they concentrate at school. So 10pm is cut off time and I allow my 15 yr to chat after school which does not give him much time as he is very sporty so involved with long hours of practice... I also do not allow them to be on their phones when it is supper time, this is family time :-)

Kelina - posted on 01/13/2012

If they don't like it they could give them back to you until they're old enough to pay for them on their own. That will be our rule. I don't like people with cell phones. They're always interrupting conversations to text or answer the phone. And they endup losing their train of thought when they do. As for before they can afford their cells my hubby and I have agreed that if they need them for emergencies we'll buy them a $10 prepaid card every month and so help them if they use up all their minutes and we can't get ahold of them when needed.

Tammy - posted on 01/13/2012

Being a foster mom of many teens it is our responsablity to set limits and bounndries for our kids. All my teens turn in all electronics at 9 on weekdays and 10 on weekends. That means game boys, or other gaming things and phones. These are privlages and your kids will buck the system but hold strong. If grades are sliping I would let them only have phone for activities where they would need to get ahold of you untill the grades come up. This puts the responsablity on them and not you. Check out empowered parenting ... something like that. For more good parenting tips

Wendy - posted on 01/13/2012

A few of my sons grades dropped to E's after he got his cell phone. His father and I (divorced) agreed that to take his cell phone away until he gets them back up. Additionally, we took away his Christmas present (X box) and I got rid of cable. He only liked to watch junk and I don't watch t.v. any way so it wasn't much of a hardship for me. He is well aware of what he needs to do to get them back and he is not happy about it, but our job isn't to make them happy (although of course, we would prefer that they were), but to be our son's parents, hated though we may be at times for enforcing limits.

Kimberly - posted on 01/13/2012

Ask them if they want to lose the phones for good!!! That stopped most of the challenges at my house- I simply told them that it was a non-negotiable rule. You get good grades, and no late texting on school nights or your phone goes away. Phones are not a right- I think your kids are goning to be out of excuses when they see these posts!! "mean" parents unite!!

Adrienne - posted on 01/13/2012

We have schedule. Cell phones are allowed after homework has been checked. All charges are in the kitchen near my bedroom and are expected to be there before going to bed. They wouldn't dare take a chance on leaving them on and take the risk of them going off and waking me up.

Donna - posted on 01/13/2012

I think it sounds very reasonable to me. Kids need boundaries. It makes them feel more secure. My kids are grown but if I found they couldn't control their phone use I would do the same. When they say no other parents are doing it tell them you are not other parents. Other parents don't care about their grades or whether they are getting enough sleep at night but you do.

Lori - posted on 01/13/2012

It sounds perfectly fine to me. Don't let your kids intimidate you with what they say is going on in other homes. They mostly say that stuff to get their way. It is your house and your rules. They need to understand that and when it is their house they can make the rules. I do agree though that 10pm is a bit late. 9pm sounds better. Make it about a half hour earlier for every time the grades drop or what ever. Eventually they will lose the phone all together. They will learn.

Nancy - posted on 01/13/2012

Sounds logical and not overly harsh. I think you're making a good choice. I'll remember that when our kids are teens and have cell phones.

Hannah - posted on 01/13/2012

Personally our kids' cell phone use is limited to no cell because our oldest is only 9. I like the idea of taking it away for homework and bed. I will do that when they are older and have their own phones!

Lynn - posted on 01/13/2012

We just bought our 11yro tween a prepaid cp for Christmas. He's been longing to have one for over a year now since most of his friends have one & he wanted to be part of the in crowd. He doesn't necessarily need one since we know where he's at practically 24/7 & if necessary, he can from the school phone or when he's at a friends house. We thought starting off with prepaid cp would test how responsible he is with his usage. Of course we discussed rules & if abused, it would be taken away from him. We initially started him with 150 minutes/month ($15) & now we've upgraded him to 200 ($20). He has the option to earn more minutes, by doing household chores & getting good grades. If we feel that he is responsible enough (maybe in the next few months to a year) we may add him in our family plan.

Sherri - posted on 01/12/2012

Since my kids very rarely if ever use their phones. We have actually not had any need to do so. My 13yr old very rarely if ever even takes it off the dining room table and my 14yr old takes it mostly to just get a hold of me for pick up from after school activities etc.

Liz - posted on 01/12/2012

I won't be permitting my daughter to have a cell phone until she is driving at 16.



I think every family is different but, given that your kids have phones, your rules do not sound draconian at all. I agree with Katherine, in fact, that 10pm is quite late, especially if grades are suffering. I'd be inclined to go for 9pm instead, but definitely stick your ground. Cell phones are a privilege and could be taken away altogether if the kids are going to try being disrespectful and whining!

Kathleen - posted on 01/12/2012

Thanks for the comments and support!

Tracy - posted on 01/11/2012

my kids are not old enough for mobiles but i will have the same rules, i think you have made a great decission if your paying for the bills then its your rules.. (actually even if their paying for the bills your house your rules)

Katherine - posted on 01/11/2012

I don't have teens YET. But I think that's more than reasonable. Especially if their grades are suffering. I think even 10pm is late. I'm sure there are other parents in the world that do the same thing. Your house, your rules and I would stick to them.