do you really forget the pain?

Elizabeth - posted on 02/16/2009 ( 103 moms have responded )

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is it honestly true that you forget how much it hurts??



this is my 1st, i only have a little over 2 weeks to go.. im really scared to give birth!! so do you honestly forget how much it hurts??

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Barbara - posted on 02/16/2009

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Thanks Nichole, but the credit for that explanation really has to go to my mom.



Another thing that I thought was so helpful in my labor was learning to relax.  Did you know that there are almost no nerve endings in the uterus?  It is not what is hurting during labor.  What causes most of the pain during contractions is tensing other muscles in your body,  fighting against the contractions.  Imagine if someone were to force your arm straight when you were flexing your biceps.  It would hurt!  But if you just let that person straighten your arm with no resistance.. Hopefully that makes sense to you.  Practice relaxing in these last couple of weeks, and take anything that you find relaxing into the delivery room with you. (Cd's, movies, books, etc.)  It really helped me when my labor was getting intense.

Nicole - posted on 02/16/2009

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I had a really easy birth with my daughter Abbie, I honestly believe that getting a brazilian wax hurts more than giving birth...When your giving birth all you think about is delivering your beautiful creation safely and holding them in your arms for the first time...You can reason with the pain of child bearing....waxing on the other hand....lol



You will be fine forgett all the movie scenes you have seen...as long as you have a plan and support you will be fine. although I did forget my plan as soon as my contractions started. Good Luck!!

Kelly - posted on 02/16/2009

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I want to be totally honest with you--I didn't forget the pain, I remember it all, and my oldest is 17. I think it is more that you don't care. I am kindof a wuss about a lot of things, but something about having a baby...of course, for one thing, it is worth it. I mean, absolutely, being a mother changes everything. You truly have that person that you love so much more than yourself. That child is just so much more important than what you had to go through to get them here. Even for me, I had my tubes tied after my last one. I had a really uncomfortable pregnancy, from the all-day sickness in the beginning to the lack of bladder control (I was so BIG) toward the end, and a rough (but fast!) delivery with the youngest, but even remembering all that, it makes me a little sad that there won't be another. And really, your body just takes over, although without an epidural it seems to know what to do more. I always had an epidural, but on the times when it worked really well, they had to tell me to push. With the last one, it didn't really work, and I definitely had a much stronger urge to push. Anyway, no matter how scared you are, YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Your body is made for this. It is the hardest thing your body will probably ever do, but you will get through it!!! Think of all the millions and millions of women who have done this before you! It'll be ok. Sorry if this was way more info than you asked for. Good luck and God bless!!!

Leisa - posted on 02/16/2009

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It is kind of strange but you do forget the actual pain. I have delivered 8 children, some natural and some with epidurals. I suggest the epidural but with the natural births nature took over andI felt better quicker afterward. Enjoy your baby!



 

Angela - posted on 02/16/2009

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yes you do...  its weird.  I remember that I was in pain but have no memory of the actual pain.  I highly suggest the epidural though.   Honestly I did not even know I was in labor and was going to be induced...contractions were 5 minutes apart when I got to the hospital!  I had a window in my epi  ( a small area the epidural did not effect) but it ended up being good b/c I only felt pain when I had to push and it made me push.  I look back at the pictures right after my son was born and think... "huh, wow, I dont even remember sweating that much."   I was scared but nature takes over and you will be just fine!!!

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Alavisi - posted on 11/21/2012

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Listen, I am going to make this as simple as possible. In your mind you have to go to another place. Just for the time it takes to deliver that baby.. If you focus on where you are and what the attendents and nurses and doctors are doing to you- you will definately FEEL every needle, every shot, evey pull, tug, tubes so forth and so on. In your mind envision yourself having a peaceful, tranquil delivery, find a spot on the ceiling and stare at it, or imagine the most beautiful thing, or person you ever did see or want to see, and try to picture what that looks like up close. I rememeber trying to figure out what God must look like and that alone kept m occupied fo a long time. I didn't participate in what was going on around me. I just focused on lovey,and beautiful things. (in my mind) I was on vaca in Tahiti in my mind, and so I lay back and transformed myself there. I imagined the sun shining on my face and the waves crashing and the seagulls flying around, my feet in the sand with just a little water coming upon my ankles. A handsome servant bringing me a drink, etc. This is where I went and it did a world of good. I DO NOT deal with pain well, then I realized when I see it- (the needle going in) I HURT. Just like when you don't feel the pain until fter you see the blood aspect. All the doctors told me afterward, and raved to anyone who would listen: "She is a model patient" I wish they ALL were lie her. WOW, incredible and so on. I felt good about myself then I realized, NO ONE likes a "whiner" I feel I got even BETTER treatment and that was worth it.

I brougt a helathy 6lb.13 oz. healty baby boy into the world on November 21, 2006

To GOD be te GLORY!!!

Anna - posted on 02/21/2009

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if you get an epidural then you will never know ... i had 3 totally natural births and I never forgot the pain... especially with the aftershocks... when your uterus is trying to contract back to its normal size... not fun.. my 4th one i tried the natural thing again, but ended up begging for the epidural. And it made delivering him so much better because i could concentrate on bringing him in to the world than feeling the pain..i dont think you forget the pain, but its well worth it.

Brande - posted on 02/21/2009

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yes and no. because the pain has a payoff at the end you realize it was worth it, but while it is happening you think you were crazy to want this.



i have had 3: first 8lb12oz 21 1/2"  3 hours 4 pushes, second 9lbs3oz 20 1/2" 58 minutes to check in, third - induced because we feared how quickly it may come- epidural and induction, i was bored and hungry, bummed i had been induced because the others had been so quick: 8lbs3oz  21" 2 pushes.



i have been so lucky to do it quickly, but they hurt just as bad. i read a small book about the bradley method and used a little of what i learned in it to help manage the pain. i even use it now for headaches and such.



the joy you feel looking at the gummy smile and the love they look at you with makes it worth it. then they get old enough to talk back and you remember the pain of having them.



enjoy it, i miss it a lot, we are lucky to be women and feel the tiny one inside. i tell my middle one she fought like hell to get out the whole time she was in and then flew out.

Julie - posted on 02/21/2009

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The pain doesnt' last long. make sure you get to a place to help you deal with the contractions that helped me so much. Try to sleep if you can and save up your energy. Remembe its only one day out of your life and its over. Embrace each moment because it is a special moment you never get back your child is only born once. If you have a really good partner like I did you'll be fine. Plus after this pain you get the best reward of you life. Yes you forget and even if you don't you'll love your child and want more anyways

April - posted on 02/21/2009

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Elizabeth, I couldn't help but respond to your posting. My kids are older now but my first pregnancy made for a lot of anxiety. I even panicked while watching the birthing video during LaMaze class. I can't lie to you, there will be pain involved; however, you will forget the pain right away. Funny how it works, but it does. You will remember that there was pain, but the memories of how little or how much pain will subside right away. I wish you luck and that bundle of joy WILL make it worth it. Good luck!

Dawn - posted on 02/21/2009

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You let go of the pain instantly when the baby is out. 



Don't be afraid - its a wonderful experience!



Good luck!

Emily - posted on 02/21/2009

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yes, actually, you will forget. I had a very easy pregnancy, labor, and delivery, so I have nothing to complain about, but I am also a wimp and I was terrified of the birth process too, even though I took a birthing class. Once the baby is out, you will be so busy paying attention to what he or she is doing that you won't even realize that there is pain anymore. It's weird but true...plus, if we women had the ability to remember the pain of childbirth, then we wouldn't have more than 1 kid apiece!!! I was scared too, but everything will be fine. All the best of luck to you and your new little one!!!

Terri - posted on 02/21/2009

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go with the baby....don't fight against it try to stay as relaxed as you can.  My 1st I had no clue but my second I knew what was going on and trust me it was not that hard when you let the baby work and you dont fight it.  The pain ges away the minute the baby is in your arms.  I had no drugs for either one of mine. 

Joy - posted on 02/21/2009

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My son is nearly 6 months old and I havent forgotten BUT when that child is born it is almost instant that the pain turns into an incredible feeling that this is just what we are meant to do and it no longer hurts. You will get thru and you will be fine as soon as you know you are about to give birth to your baby.Its amazing. I think thats why some women do it again and again.

[deleted account]

Absolutely. If I could go thru the actual child birth experience again, I would in a heart beat. I have 3 kids and it was amazing. I did have an epidural for all 3. I think that's the best way. When you are so focused and experiencing the pain, it's harder to enjoy the experience. When you are more relaxed, and your pain is more controlled, you can remember and experience the bliss. It is amazing.

Jen - posted on 02/21/2009

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I can tell you that from my expirence with both my daughters i do remeber that it hurt but can not remeber the actual pain. It did hurt but the minute the nurse put my baby in my arms I completley relaxed and the pain went away. Good luck with the delivery and congratulations.

Tara - posted on 02/21/2009

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yes you do. while you are pregent you think i'm never doing this again but after you hold your baby for the frist time you forget about all you went threw

Shawna - posted on 02/21/2009

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I had 7 years in between my first and second and honestly I was trying to remember and all I remember was that I hurt but then the very nice anathesiologist came and made life all better. And like everyone else says once you are handed your baby you will forget everything else. . after my first one I fell in love so hard that I was ready to do it again right then. . . I just wanted another one of what I had just gotten! She was perfect and even thought I had to wait 7 years for my next one he was worth the wait! And everything that I felt during the labor part!

[deleted account]

I read an article that a woman's brain actually releases a chemical after childbirth that acts as a form of "amnesia" making woman forget the pain so that they will continue to reproduce. From my experience, I love remembering every single detail of my son's birth, including the pain because with it came him. The experience is so surreal and there is so much going on that it just flies by.

Brenda - posted on 02/21/2009

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On the pain med thing, remember, discuss these with your doctor.  I refused Demorol because of the "drunk" feeling you get.  I took Stadol instead (non narcotic).  I did have an epidural, but the hospital I did had the kind that did not numb.  I felt everything, the epi just took the edge off the pain.  I did deliver naturally because my labor was so long (20 hours after my water was broken) and all the meds and even the epi had worn off.  Pushing was the best part, and honestly, I didn't think it hurt at all...it just felt wonderful.  And then when they laid that little boy on my chest, it just kinda all went away.

Brenda - posted on 02/21/2009

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It is a service mother nature provides for us.  During labor, your brain will release high amounts of endorphines.  These endorphines will make the memories of the pain associated with birth seem less.  I went from telling my mother in law "I quit" in the middle of labor, to telling the doctor I didn't think I'd have another baby after the birth, to twenty minutes later saying maybe I'd wait a couple of years for the second one.  We don't remember the exact pain we're in, but we remember the fact of the pain.  It is sometimes the reason a lot of moms like to talk about their birth experiences, because looking back we just seem to cover up the pain.  It's interesting, because it is mother nature's way of ensuring that the species is continued.

Becky - posted on 02/21/2009

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I wouldn't say you "forget" the pain. Hello, you just pushed an 8 lb bowling ball out of your va-ja-ja, but it definitely subsides when you see the little person who has been growing inside of you.

[deleted account]

I've forgotten...I know how it hurt & could describe it to you...but no, I no longer "feel" the pain. What'd funny is with my first, I eventually got the epidural, and it took me longer to forget with my second when I wasn't able to get the epidural or any meds....There are advantages to both...With it you feel no pain, but you feel nothing....without it, I knew the instant my son had been born...it was kind of cool...once they're out, the pain disipates quickly....Good luck and remember to breathe--that's harder than you think :)

April - posted on 02/21/2009

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One other thing- before I got my epi they gave me an IV med to help ease the pain and make it so you don't care about the pain so much- it was called Nubain. I don't recommend it- it does make you care less but I felt like I was drunk more than anything- you just feel dizzy and totally out of it. I regretted that b/c I felt like I wasn't in control at all but at least it wore off quickly.

April - posted on 02/21/2009

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I found that the 9 months of pregnancy was much more difficult than labor and it feels like such an accomplishment to know that you did it. I think the thought and anticipation of labor is much worse than it actually is. With my first I was induced which was more difficult with the pain since it is not natural and your contractions can come to frequently and changes in the IV drip have to be made- that was frustrating. The second- I arrived at the hospital at 6cm and it just felt like really really bad menstrual cramps but totally tolerable. Changing positions helped instead of just lying flat in the bed. I did have epidurals with both which are great things but I have heard that they can slow down the process if you have them too early on so just keep that in mind- wait until I think it's at least 4-5cm if you can. With my 2nd I got to the hospital at 6cm and it was a little over an hour before I finally got my epidural (they have to mix it in the pharmacy so dont think it is an immediate thing). They checked me right after the epidural was placed and I was at 10cm so probably should have just skipped it all together. If you can try to stay calm it really helps because the more anxious you get- the less effective your contractions are. Getting from 1-4cm is the longest part of labor. They say once you get to 7 it usually only takes 30 min to get to 10. Good Luck! Once you have that gorgeous baby in your arms the pain doesn't matter any more- only the results.

Frances - posted on 02/21/2009

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I have three and delivered them all naturally. I can honestly say I forgot the pain as soon as I held them, but like the previous post, your memory comes back some when you are about to have another one. I was actually more scared the second time than the first time. Something else that seems unbelievable but is true is that as soon as the baby comes out, the pain STOPS completely. I was told that by a friend before my first one, but was skeptical. But it absolutely happened! Good luck and be sure to post a pic of the baby after you deliver!

Anna - posted on 02/21/2009

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you do......BUT....when your ready to give birth to your second--memories come back-lol

Karin - posted on 02/19/2009

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Don't let this worry you! You will miss the single most wonderful day of your life, that you can never get back. Get an epidural and you won't have to feel anything but a little bit of pressure as the baby comes out. This is not pain, just enough feeling so you can appreciate what is happening to you. I had two healthy normal pregnancies- labor pain for about 15 min. with the first (she came very fast!) and no labor pain with the second (I got the epidural right away). Honestly, you will be so high from the experience, you won't remember labor pain. What is important is taking good care of yourself after. You will be tired and sore and you will bleed for a few days. The hospital will give you special pads to and special gauze panties to help with this. After about a week you'll be back to your old self -except a sleepless old self! But it's wonderful and you won't mind a bit. Enjoy it! Make a conscious note to yourself to remember. No one can explain how wonderful it is - you will find out in a few weeks :) Congratulations!!!

Di - posted on 02/19/2009

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the pain is like really bad period pain. i was scared too, but it's really not that bad

Regina - posted on 02/18/2009

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Yes you do forget the pain I have 3 girls and I remember with each one thinking how can I not remember this. You will be suprised at how much you forget. The only thing i remember is the wonderful feeling of the baby coming out! Its amazing! Good Luck and don't rush her to grow up like sit up crawl walk they grow so fast! Enjoy your time with the baby!

Kate CP - posted on 02/18/2009

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I gotta be honest, labor and delivery was really easy for me. I didn't even take birth classes or lamaz. When the nurse asked if I wanted an epidural I said "Nope! Give me the refusal form!" and then she asked if I had taken any classes. When I said no she looked like she was about to faint. But, it went really well.

Just remember to get in the position that feels best for you. If you don't think you can push or labor while on your back then get up and move to the right position. If the doctor doesn't like it...too bad. You're the one that has to push the baby out. It really is a wonderful experience. Don't be scared! You'll do fine. :)

[deleted account]

Body takes nine months to prepare for the labour process, don't panick it knows what to do. All you need to do is too breath through it. Oxigen will help to rellax the mucsels. Good luck : )

Julie - posted on 02/18/2009

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Don't be afraid to give birth, believe it or not your body knows what to do.  As for the pain...not going to lie to you it does hurt but so worth the pain.  Everyone is different in how they feel about it, my youngest is 6 and I would do it again in a heartbeat. 

[deleted account]

I'm sure everyone has told you the same thing....You forget instantly! As soon as you hold your baby you'll just be so happy that any other thoughts will just disappear....good luck!

Niki - posted on 02/18/2009

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Yeah you do totally forget all the pain as soon as you hold your baby... but it all comes flooding back when you get preg again and realise you're going to have to do it again!!!

Shawnee - posted on 02/18/2009

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The best thng is to prepare yourself for the inevibilaty of "yes ,it will hurt alot" then you are able to handle it alot better.I thought it would be horrendous,and at moments it was. I didn't have an epidural,though, and it was bearable. If u have a suppportive partner who will be beside u the whole time ,that is a great help.overall it was not as bad as I thought it would be.

Lori - posted on 02/18/2009

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There is no pain like it in the world. Sorry. I would rather tell you the truth than sugarcoat it. BUT, to this day (and my son is 16 months) I can't remember the pain. I guess it's just one of those things that we as women have to go through.

Amie - posted on 02/18/2009

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From all the responses everyone really is different! With my first two I didn't really forget the pain as much as I didn't care. Labor with them took a lot longer though and I did have medication to help with the pain. I think that might have been why they took longer too, I was too drugged up to move around much to help the labor along. With both of them by the time it ended up being time to push I was so tired I fell asleep in between pushing. =) With my last one it was absolutely terrible and I remember everything! She was born completely naturally and kudos to those mom's who do this every time. But honestly, I hate being pregnant more than I do the labor but that's me. Labor I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, when pregnant it drags on forever it seems. I'm due with our 4th in 5 weeks. I'm at the point where I'm poking baby and telling him/her to hurry up already. LOL! No matter what though, it's worth it once you see your baby. Well if you don't drop off to sleep right away. haha! Either way kids are worth it! =) Don't worry too much though, I'm sure you'll be fine.

Belinda - posted on 02/18/2009

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I've been in labour three times hun, and the moment your baby is fully out maternal instinct kicks in and your too busy wondering and making sure he/shes OK, then when you look at your beautiful baby and feel amazed at how absolutely gorgeous they are and how much love you feel, thats why the pain is forgotten. Good luck x.

Patricia - posted on 02/18/2009

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ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!! I would have liked to have had my son naturally, but I did end up with an epidural (which was wonderful for me!). I'm a major wimp when it comes to pain - I threw up and almost blacked out when I got my ears pierced; I have to lie down and be distracted when getting a shot; etc. While I was in labor, I tried to keep in mind - the pain WILL go away, it will NOT last. Once I saw my beautiful son, oh my - that is such a magically wonderful moment. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. The "pain" you have from contractions is worth it a thousand times over to be able to bring a child into this world. It goes away, and you do forget. You will make it through. As strange as it sounds - try to enjoy your labor; not everyone gets to experience it. Good luck to you.

Sarah - posted on 02/18/2009

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Just remember above all things, your body already knows what to do. You just need to let it happen!

Sarah - posted on 02/18/2009

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Just an added tid bit....I didn't have time to have ab epidural the second time around and I was still all smiles at the end!

Sarah - posted on 02/18/2009

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Truthfully no...I was in fact more nervous the second time because I knew what to expect. That said I was also for excited because I knew what to expect! They call it labor for a reason but know that it doesn't last forever and the worst part, as any lamaz coach and nurse or doctor will tell you, is also the shortest amount of time. In my opinion the actual pushing was such a relief. Being able to push through the pain is strangely awsome. I think people say they forget what labor felt like because the joy of holding your baby afterwards is so unbeleivably rewarding. I can't even put it into words!  Congrats on your baby! You will get through it and you will be stronger because of it. Plus think of your reward for all your hard work!

Emma - posted on 02/18/2009

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Its true u do forget. i remember being petrified when i was carring my first and it turned out not to be as bad as i was expecting. I wish u all the best. xx

Tricia - posted on 02/18/2009

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Nope, labor still  haunts me (and I had an epidural).  But as you see, most have forgotten the pain.  I've known several women that hardly felt it, their epidurals were so effective.

Kara - posted on 02/18/2009

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I don't think I forgot the pain so much as I realized how worth it the pain is. I have had 4 daughters, one over 10 pounds. labor wasn't fun, but worth every bit

Vanessa - posted on 02/18/2009

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my daughter is 2 years old and my son is nearly 5 and i can,t remmber the pain and had a c section with my 2 year old.just don,t worry every birth is different.you just think what you get at the end.

Meri - posted on 02/17/2009

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I truly don't remember the actual feeling of labor & delivery. I remember every moment of the experience like it was yesterday (really 7 months ago). I delivered naturally (by choice after learning about epidurals) and would/will do it again in a heartbeat. If I could do it, you can do it girl!

Sarah - posted on 02/17/2009

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You don't forget the pain, but you don't re-live it either. I had an epidural once I was around 7cm dilated and then it wore off toward the end of my labour (about an hour later) so that I could feel everything when it came time to push - which was exactly what I wanted and had planned for. Whilst I could feel every contraction and her coming out, the very low residue of the epidural I'd had took the extreme pain edge off. Don't worry about the pain, your body takes over! Have faith in your body that it will know what to do, don't forget there are hormones your body naturally releases to help you through - it's one of the most amazing experiences and achievements I have ever had. Good luck, you'll be fine!

Averil - posted on 02/17/2009

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i had my 1st baby last september & it hasn't put me off at all. all i had was gas & air & pethadine. none of them really worked but the pethadine sent me to cloud 9 it was really good. you'll be fine just remember 2 relax it is hard but you'll get it! Good Luck x

Gretchen - posted on 02/17/2009

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I am 10 days from having my third (and final!) baby.  My first turned out to be an unplanned c-section, but even having pushed for two hours and then having a major surgery, I only remember how exhausted I was!  My second was a planned section, and I honestly don't remember much of the incision pain with that one either.  My biggest worry with this final one is the surgery itself.  I am not looking forward to not feeling anything from my neck down for a while; it freaked me out last time!  I do remember being in some pain, but not the acutal pain itself.  I hope that makes some sense!



As others have said, you will be so committed to getting that little one here and focusing on that baby in your arms, that much of the pain itself is forgotten.



Good luck!  I am sure you will do great!

Debra - posted on 02/17/2009

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Well that depends. If you have to have a C-Section you will be reminded everytime you cough for a little while LOL. Seriously you will look back after a few weeks and think the pain was nothing at all. After holding that little one close you will realize that no pain is to great to bear for your child! Good luck and best wishes Hun!

Pattie - posted on 02/17/2009

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Yes, once you hold your precious baby you forget how much it hurt. It is the most amazing and beautiful thing to go through. Congrats!

Kristin - posted on 02/17/2009

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I personally forgot the pain. I know I was in pain, but don't remember much of the delivery. The recovery was worse for me then actual labor.

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