do you think circumcising my son at two will be to hard on him?

Allana - posted on 01/25/2011 ( 53 moms have responded )

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when he was first born i could not get it done cause of some unforeseeable problems at the time and i was still hoping to get him done i was gonna just let it go but because of religious reasoning amongst personal preference as odd as that may sound,
i know the pros and cons to both decisions but i was just wondering at his age now will it just be to hard on him?
i don't know anyone who has had there sons done over the age of 4 weeks and i cant seem to find any info on it if anyone knows of a site or something that i could get info on circumcisions on older boys that would be very helpful thank you so much :D

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[deleted account]

Let me ask you 2 questions and then YOU can choose if it is a good idea to still do it or not.
1. Do you realize part of his penis will be cut off?
2. Would you want to have part of the hood of your whoo ha cut off?

[deleted account]

@ Sherri ~ How exactly do you do this?
"all the research I have done showed that toddlers need to be kept quiet for 48hrs after surgery and remove bandages within 5 days and then just no rigorous exercise for 4 weeks."
A toddler. No rigorous exercise? 4 weeks? Unless a toddler is drugged, that is not possible lol

To the OP: I think if you've let it go this long, you should not worry about having it done. Let him decide if or when, when he is an adult.

Lani - posted on 01/25/2011

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Allana,

My fiancee was not circumsized at birth because he was a preemie and too young and too small. He was finally circumsized in June of 2009, because it became an issue for him. He says that yes it was painful, but that it was totally worth it. If it something that you feel needs to be done, then by all means have it done. He's 2, so it is YOUR decision, not his and I find it unlikely that he will remember it happening. When Kevin was being circumsized his mom and I were talking in the waiting room and she said that she wished she had had him circumsized when he was younger, because growing up it was sometimes an issue for him. It is harder to keep clean, and when he gets to an age where he bathes himself, then he will have to know and remember to pull the skin back and clean it properly or it is likely to get infected. Also, a friend of mine had to have her son circumsized at 4 because the skin was growing faster than his penis was and and it was starting to overlap eachother and cause problems when he was trying to pee.

I would recommend talking to his pediatrician. The Dr can give you the medical reasons, and more than likely they can refer you to some websites and literature to read up on.

Good Luck with this decision. Just remember YOU are the MOM and it is YOUR choice. He will heal faster at 2 than he would as an adult!

Kayla - posted on 02/26/2011

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i would get it done for sure!!! we got our son done at 8 weeks old, they gave him a needle to numb him and he cried for about 5secs...then they just cut the skin off and it was over within 60secs he didnt make a peep! once they are older you take them to hospital and they knock them out, you stay at hospital for 1/2 day until they are awake and painfree. i know this because my nephew is 2 yrs old and i researched it all for my brother inlaw. i highly recommend it....its only a few days/hours of pain compared to a life time! its much much cleaner and looks nicer too :) good luck

Billie-Jo - posted on 01/26/2011

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This is an issue of personl choice. Personally I dont' feel that there is a necessity to have this procedure performed especially on a 2 year old and particularly if there has been no history of health issues. I recall when my son was born the Doctor (who I might add was Indian) sat us down and talked to my partner and I at length about it. In the end we decided against it and the advice of the Doctor has always stayed with me "if good personal hygiene is taught at a very young age there will never be a need to have it done". But in saying that the choice is ultimately yours. Whatever you choose to do, I am sure it is in the best interest of your son.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

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Nadia - posted on 08/31/2012

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my son is also two and just like u i cudnt get him circumcised although i wanted to.. but once he's three im going to get this done inshaAllah.. although i know its going to be tough, but i know a lot of people who get their boys circumcised beyond the age of 6 months, in fact its a common practice in indonesia, u can check on youtube.. what i'm trying to say is, older boys do get circumcised :)

Tina - posted on 02/27/2011

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I wish people wouldn't be so harsh. Most people who circumsize out of concern for their child for fear of infections and other problems later. It has also been done to lower the risk of cervical cancer in women. I know of people who have chosen not to circumsize and later have had too because of problems with infections and problems peeing. No one likes to see their child in pain but we still vaccinate them and so forth because we're trying to protect them from diseases. People shouldn't judge people so harshly people have their reasons for as to why they do or don't circumsize. If it's done properly there shouldn't be any problems

April - posted on 02/08/2011

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I agree with Mike,



I'm currently living in the Philippines and the boys here get circumcised at 12, there's no reason for it, it's just a part of the culture here and to not get one done would result in being bullied from other boys and feeling "unmanly". I'm moving back to Australia in a few months and even then i will circumcise my son once he turns 12 even if circumcision isn't normal there.



My husband did tell me that the reason most boys here got it at that age instead of as a baby or toddler was to let the penis grow big enough so that when the skin was cut it wouldn't "stunt" the growth of the penis. I have no idea what that means since i don't have a penis LOL but the point is, he seems to think it's better to get it done when the child is older, and yes he remembers the pain but he felt proud of himself afterwards.



I am half Australian and half Filipino and i just want to keep that culture a part of our family since my husband is Filipino. I see nothing wrong with that whatsoever.

Barbie - posted on 02/07/2011

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Mike Hunt,
Thanks for being an honest guy! I feel for Allana Lee. My son doesn't remember a thing. He was 3 and now 7 and laughed at me when I asked. I just watched on the news recently that Doctors are going to point out the pros and cons of both. Say a prayer and go with what you feel is right. I agree with Kelina too. I was actually open to both until my son was having problems when he was not circumcised.

Angel - posted on 02/03/2011

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Kelina,

There are lots of procedures that are considered operations. What does that have to do with anything? Jesus was circumcised. If it were so wrong it would probably say not to do it in the bible.

Everything we do has risks. That still isn't going to change how I feel about it. Both sides have their opinions. You say many of the "benefits" are controversial, so are the "risks." I have SEVERAL family members in health care and it is their opinion that it is better to get males circumcised. In fact, I have asked almost every male in my family about the matter and they say they are HAPPY that they were circumcised while babies/younger and that they would be pissed if they wouldn't have been. My sister used to date a guy that wasn't circumcised and he gave her an infection(yes her doctor said it was from him not being circumcised). She said he showered on a regular basis too. I think it is cleaner for both the man and the woman. That is not to say that is my only reason for having it done.

So what if San Francisco wants to ban it, they also wanted to ban toys in happy meals. Besides, that is one city out of how many?

Julie - posted on 02/03/2011

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I wouldn't do it if I were you. There is really no reason to, and at 2 he is not going to understand the healing process at all, and I think it would be pretty traumatic.
(mom of two intact boys)

[deleted account]

My husbands cousin has two boys who are a year and a half and they are supposed to get it done soon and that was because the doctor said so. I would hope they would give the child something for the pain or something and not just snip it off because it does seem very painful. Also keeping it clean isn't very easy when they are older. My 4 month old had one done but it doesn't seem like they got enough so I have to pull some of the skin back to clean it and if I dont get it all it gets sore and I dont want him to get an infection. Everyone has an opinion about this, but in the end you have to think of your child. I also heard if you wait to long you might not be able to get it done, something to do with the skin healing. Not to sure if that is correct or not.

Kelina - posted on 02/03/2011

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Angel, last I heard San Francisco was looking at banning routine circumcision for those exact reasons. It's unnecessary and dangerous. and there are plenty of doctors who share that opinion. On Vancouver island, there are only 3 doctors who perform the procedure, you have to have a consultation to get it done, and it has to be done within the first 10 days or they will not do it unless medically necessary, and even the doctors who will do it will tell you that it is not necessary and dangerous. it's cutting off a piece of your child. It's in essence, an operation. all operations have risks, and many of the "benefits" are incredibly controversial.

Sharon - posted on 02/02/2011

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When I lived overseas - boys went through a rite of manhood - getting circumcised. They weren't jewish.

These boys were considerably older about 12, if I remember right and there was no trauma to their psyche.

Don't let people try to bully you. Do what you want to.

Tracy - posted on 02/02/2011

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it is so hard to say, because you think your doing the right thing then later on in life it seems to change. My son is 15 and now he wants to be circumsized, I really dont know what to do, if anyone has any advice it would be great

Angel - posted on 02/02/2011

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If circumcision was so cruel and unnecessary it would be illegal. If it were so dangerous, the procedure wouldn't be performed. People who say they HEAR horror stories probably made them up.

I think it is cruel & unnecessary for people to make others read bad spelling and poor grammar and then post such an ignorant statement, IMO.

Kylie - posted on 02/02/2011

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I would rather cut my own genitals than hurt and scar my 2 year old like that.
Why dont you wait until hes a teenager and if HE wants it then pay for him to have it done then?

Nicole - posted on 02/02/2011

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hun, he will feel alot of pain at this age and beyond. after the firs about 2 months the nerve ends start to attach ad develop. by now, the blood supply/nerves etc are almost as good as a grown mans. not quite there- but very close. it's completely up to you hun, the longer you wait the more painful (and dangerous) it will be. in my honest opinion - it would be too much pain for a young child to handle. at this age i think you might create a memory that even if he cannot recall it later - it will still be there and affect him. i honestly hope you dont xx

Megan - posted on 02/02/2011

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Beverley that is not helpful at all. You are entitled to your own opinion but really your comment was unnecessary! It's not polite to say that people don't care about their children just because they get them circumcised! Try thinking about what point you are trying to make instead of telling parent's they are terrible people that don't care about their children.

[deleted account]

Circumsision is cruel & unneccessary.I heard of a baby bleeding to death.Apparently some people don't give a hoot about their kids

Angel - posted on 02/02/2011

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Hey Allana,



My son didn't get circumcised as a newborn either. Where I live they want you to pay for it up front and we didn't have it. My son wasn't two but it was not as bad as some people make it out to be. Both myself and my son's father were in the room. He was awake, the doctor gave us a lollie pop to give him while he numbed his penis. My son didn't even flinch, not once. Not when they pricked him with the needle or during the circumcision. He didn't have any issues afterward either. My sister had to wait till my nephew was two to get him circumcised. In the state she lives in if they don't get circumcised by 3 weeks they have to wait till they are two. My nephew was fine as well.



I think you should definitely talk to a urologist and see what they say. This is a very touchy subject for some and I think this is a question better left to the professionals.

Terri Lynn - posted on 01/30/2011

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Both of them, and both times went badly. First son had a cap on top 4to protect it, it got a strep infection despite proper cleaning & care. My second son the Dr. slipped and accidentally cut a hole clean thru to the urethara, took 2 major surgeries to correct one at 1 yr old, one at 5 yrs old to fix the curve caused by the scar tissue, had to have a skin graft. None of the males on my side of the family were circumcized & never had a problem. My youngest son didn't get it done right away, we waited 2 wks, I listened 2 him scream from the waiting room for 45 minutes while they tried to suture the cut, (i wasn't allowed to b with him) It was a horrible experience for us both, there is no real medical reason to remove it anyway. and it causes the member to become less sensitive because its always exposed to the elements, so to speak. but to each his own. Good luck!

Barbie - posted on 01/29/2011

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Victoria Gauci,
I did take a look at the circumcision video you posted and I have to say, it made me uncomfortable watching it. And those metal tools seem a bit brutal for such a tender baby. I thought it was done a bit more gentle with out clamps and just cutting off the excess skin. So to be honest, I did not like watching the video. I think by having my 3 year old son put out was probably better. I have a 5 month baby boy now and had him circumcised three days after birth. I did not go in the room, because I can not stand to hear a baby cry. After seeing this video, I am glad I did not go in. I passed out one time at the vet office when I watch the vet blow out a tear duct in of our dog. So our 5 month who was circumcised younger, I feel it was probably harder on him being awake, restrained and mommy not in the room. The circumcision looks like it will have to be redone to because their are sis pockets starting to form and you can not see the fireman's cap. The Pediatrician said it will eventually look right. But I have friend who have had it done and their son's look right. Anyways, that video could have new moms think twice after watching it. I know there are lot of circumcisions performed everyday and for the majority, they are doing well and are healthy. For my 3 year old who was not circumcised at birth, we were planning on leaving it alone, but to our son he notice the difference and I notice the sis pockets and was concerned, so that's when we made the decision to have him circumcised. I just asked him today if he remembered having it done and he said no.

Barbie - posted on 01/28/2011

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Another thing, my son was only 3 and when he wasn't circumcised, he had sis pockets on his penis and he would ask me why his penis looked different from daddy. He doesn't remember much about the surgery and seemed like a happier boy knowing he was the same as daddy.

Barbie - posted on 01/28/2011

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Allana,

I had my son circumcised at age 3. He had to be put under and he was such a trooper. The surgery went well with Dr. Wong at Kaiser. He also had fluid in his testicles going back and forth from his body. They fixed that too. He looks great now and is doing super. I was afraid too. I am very happy we did it. The only bad thing was that they suggested tylenol with codeine after the surgery when we took him home and he had a reaction. He was like a caged animal. I did no figure this out until I gave him the second dose. When I decided to stop giving it to him, he finally slept like a baby. I suggest just giving tylenol without the codeine. He could not be circumcised when he was first born because he did not have enough foreskin.

Codie - posted on 01/27/2011

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i had my son circumsized in the hospital the day after he was born. yes he was tender for a day or maybe two, but as long as you clean it and put vasilene on it so its moist and doesnt stick to anything he should be fine...give him some tylenol. i don't see it as mutilating or amputating anything...you're having some skin removed, not cutting the actual penis off! my goodness i didnt realize people had such strong opinions about this. it may not be any cleaner this way, but it is easier to keep it clean and to clean it. for you and for him. its a very common practice in the u.s. and is most definitely your choice. people choose to have deformaties and birth deffects corrected with surgery, so why not circumsize? now i'm not saying foreskin on a male's penis is a deformaty or birth defect, obviously its not. i'm just saying i don't see what the big deal is about having it done. especially if its your religious beliefs to have a boy circumsized!

[deleted account]

My son son is in his 30's we had to wait to have him done because he was only a 7 months baby and was to little at the time, he was done at the tender age of 2 yrs, it was a hard decision to make, because of his age, but I can tell you he does not remember having it done. But that is a decision that only you can make, there are pros and cons I decided to do it because my husband said it would be better for him in many ways, but there again it is up to you. The surgery does not take long at all, and like I said he does not remember having it done, better when little than when he is a grown man.

Melissa - posted on 01/27/2011

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please dont mutilate your child doing that at any age newborn or otherwise is sick its not a regular thing done in my country and shoudlnt be in America either. please let him make the decision for himself when he is older

Angela - posted on 01/27/2011

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Allana, When my husband (who is circumcised) and I were expecting our first child, we thought this argument -- for/against-- was rediculous. WHY would anyone ELECT to cut-off part of their new born infant's (or two year-old's) body? Now, 4 sons and one daughter later, I'm still stunned that anyone would even CONSIDER doing such a thing. It simply does not make sense--plus, as mothers, don't we all agree that unnecessarily removing a part of our child's body--causing pain and trauma, despite whether or not there is a memory left behind--goes against every single instinct we have as parents? I've read my bible and understand the religious reasons...and I certainly don't want anyone telling me what to do in any area of my life, but to intentionally cause one's child physical or emotional harm is a choice I just cannot comprehend any parent making. (Incidentally, none of our sons have ever had any problems related to being left uncircumcised: "we wash inside our ears, we wash out our belly button, clean between our toes...".it's just another body part amongst them all.

Please just take the time to consider your son's best interest and be respectful of his body. Let him decide.

~Angela

Leah - posted on 01/27/2011

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If you want to do it, I say go ahead and have it done. It's better now, then say, when he is 5 or 6 and you wish you would have done it sooner. I have a friend who adopted a son at the age of 2, and had him circumcized at the age of 3. He had to be put under, I think, but he did ok. He was walking around like normal the next day. They let him go a few days with out a diaper, just a long t-shirt. He was playing normally within the next day and didn't seem like he was upset. My thoughts are, if you wanted to do it at birth, then you should go ahead and not let the age make you change your mind.

[deleted account]

Comments have been made that this is a personal choice, and yes it is - HIS choice not yours. What right do you have to amputate a part of your sons body? Would you do it to your daughter? Or yourself or your husband? I would think long and hard about putting your child though unnecessary surgery. Check this link out and I hope for your son's sake you don't circumcise him until he can have a say in the matter.

http://www.drmomma.org/2011/01/neonatal-...

Alecia - posted on 01/26/2011

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At this point i just wouldnt do it. it doesnt seem to be medically necessary, so why? My hubby isnt circumsized and i dont plan to do it to any sons we might have. My husband is the only man ive been with that wasnt circumsized, but actually i prefer it ;p and for most boys there is NO reason to have it done. they are born like that for a reason and it is not dirtier than having it done. if he wants it when hes older, then w/e, but i think its better left alone for now. and to who ever says its ur choice...uh, ur cutting off a part of HIM. so yeah...

Sneaky - posted on 01/26/2011

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I am a big believer in doing what the universe tells me to do - for example, if you were going to get it done at birth and unforeseen circumstances stopped you, then the universe was probably telling you not to do it :o).

Secondly, if it is to be done for religious reasons, isn't it better to wait so that your son can choose to make that sacrifice for religious reasons himself?

Lastly, kids do 'bounce back' faster than adults, but there is no way on this large green Earth that I would EVER put my child under a GA for a strictly cosmetic procedure. I know someone else has suggested a local anesthetic instead, but do you really want your son to have the memory of people holding him down while a scary man in a mask cuts off the end of his penis????

So to answer your question - yes I think the trauma of circumcision would be too hard on him AND you.

Amy - posted on 01/26/2011

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Karen my son is almost 5 and is NOT circumcised and also never had a single problem or infection.

Sarah - posted on 01/26/2011

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My son will be about 18 months old when he gets circumcised (along with another defect that has to be repaired). He has to undergo general anesthesia to have these procedures done. But, obviously, his case is a little different than your sons. Have you talked to a pediatric urologist about your questions & concerns? They might be able to shed some light on what to expect when doing a circumcision on a 2 year old.

Megan - posted on 01/25/2011

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Allana,
I just want you to know that if you are thinking of getting it done, the sooner the better. He is two. He will bounce back really fast. To go into my daughter for a second. She just had spinal surgery and was up and running the next day. I know it isn't the same surgery and everyone's body is different but children bounce back a lot faster then when they become adults. I don't know of any websites to look for. I'm sorry! But like I said if it's something you want to do its best to do it early!
Take care, hope all works out!!
Megan

Melody Van - posted on 01/25/2011

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My two-year-old had the horrid experience of an infection under the foreskin due to the way he is built. His pediatrician (who is awesome!) said if it continued to be a recurring problem them we might talk about circumcision as a possible solution. The child would be put to sleep for the procedure because it's too traumatic and painful to expect a toddler to understand and deal with. From observing other memories, as young as 14 months, I have no doubt this would not be a pleasant one. I don't recommend putting your son or yourself through this unless it is medically necessary. My personal horror at the idea was hard enough!

Sherri - posted on 01/25/2011

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I don't know pretty easy if you ask me but maybe my children are unnormal they are not saying your children can't play just not run around like lunatics and be climbing trees and playground equipment. I think at two years old you can distract them for a few weeks. It isn't a life time Joy.

Kelina - posted on 01/25/2011

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I agree with most ladies here, wait until he's old enough to decide for himself. there's no real reason to do it unless there's a problem. it's not any harder to take care of than a circumcised penis and like joy said trying to keep a 2 year old from running around and playing for 4 weeks is impossible!

Stifler's - posted on 01/25/2011

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here they refuse to do it over 6 weeks old until they're over 18 and can make their own choice.

Christy - posted on 01/25/2011

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I think they can give him a local anesthesia that will help with the process. I imagine it will be sore but from my understanding it heals pretty fast. If he isn't potty trained, be sure to change his diaper after every pee and poo once it's done. If you can, do it sooner than 2.



BTW I would also request the anesthetic if they don't offer it up.

Sherri - posted on 01/25/2011

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It will be sore for sure but I would do it now vs. as an older child/teenager. He will never remember it at two and it will heal pretty quick within a few weeks. I had all 3 of mine circumcised at 48hrs old but all the research I have done showed that toddlers need to be kept quiet for 48hrs after surgery and remove bandages within 5 days and then just no rigorous exercise for 4 weeks. Just watch for a fever and typical toddler accidents that is about it. Good Luck!

JuLeah - posted on 01/25/2011

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I wouldn't. Some religions do this when the boy reaches age 13, but he is then old enough to understand. A kid this age will just know trauma and pain.
At this age why would you want to put him under the knife, well at any age, but ... why?

[deleted account]

I had my son circumsized at birth. If for some reason it couldn't have been done at that time.... I probably wouldn't have it done. Certainly not at 2.

Sorry I don't have any information for you.

[deleted account]

I would leave it alone. After infancy I believe he will have to be put all the way under. That's not worth the risk to me. He also may remember it. Have you asked him about it? What if he doesn't want it done?

Bonnie - posted on 01/25/2011

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Allana, I know how you feel. I got my boys done mainly for religious purposes. Every male on my side of the family is done. As far as I know, except for my nephew (my sister-inlaw's son), no other males on my husband's side of the family is done. It may be a bit more difficult on him now than it would have been when he was a newborn, but probably not as much as if you would wait until he is a teenager or adult. The healing process can be really bad later on in life.

Louise - posted on 01/25/2011

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I do not understand why you feel you need to do this? I know it is done for religious reasons but really in this day and age is it necessary. I would be inclined to let him choose to have it done when he is older. Do you really think a two year old will understand. A close friend of mine converted to being jewish and had this done as a grown man and he was quite sore as you can imagine. I suppose I am squeamish as I wont even allow my daughter to have her ears pierced until she is old enough to understand what is going on ,and to allow her to make her own choice. I am sure there are people out there that would urge you to have this done, but after raising two sons that are intact shall we say, there has never been any medical reason why they should of had it done. I suppose you will have to follow your heart and decide.

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