Do your children share a bedroom?

Kimberly - posted on 01/05/2011 ( 241 moms have responded )

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We live in a 3 bedroom home and my 2 year old son and 5 year old son both have their own bedrooms. We are talking about having another child, which means that our 2 & 5 year old would have to share a room. My husband thinks that if they need to share a room, they will be fighting and arguing over stuff all the time. The boys do get along, but do fight like typical brothers would.

Just wondering how many people have siblings share a room and how your experience with it is.

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Siblings fight and argue whether they share a room or not. My girls are 7 and 5, they share a room. When my youngest turns 1 maybe a little older he will share a room with his brother who just turned 5.

Erin - posted on 01/07/2011

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My boys are 20 months apart in age. Right now the eldest is almost 3.5yo so it will be a few more years before puberty might cause a problem. We also live in a 3 bedroom house but having them share a room leaves the other bedroom as a playroom which helps with some of the toy mess in the house. They sometimes fight over the same toy but that's sibling relationships. However, they both get upset when I have to displine one of them so I know they love each other. I know it might be out of your price range, but if you do move them into the same room, try to find something they have in common for the room "theme." My eldest likes monkeys and my youngest likes tigers so their room has a bit of a safari feel. Yours are old enough that they could help with that decision so that way one doesn't feel like he's getting booted out of his room and the other doesn't feel invaded. And I would do it as soon as you know you're expecting (even if you don't tell your children for a few more months) so that way the room change doesn't coincide with the birth which could increase sibling rivalry toward the new baby.

Sherri - posted on 01/12/2011

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Amanda your daughter should have her own room. I know in the states if CPS is involved in your home or you foster etc. past the age of 6 yrs old siblings of different genders can not share a room. Also here you can not rent an apt.unless siblings of different genders have their own room regardless of age.

Amanda - posted on 01/12/2011

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I live in a two bedroom apartment and I have 3 children... They have always shared a room and my oldest is 9 almost 10 years old. It's not an ideal situation and I can't wait for the day when they won't all have to share but it's really been an interesting process to observe. My children are just over 24 months apart and I have a boy, a girl, and then another boy. I think that makes a big difference for my family. I was able to divide the room; or at least, allow the older two to feel like they have their own space. The boys share a bunk bed and my daughter has a twin on the side. Stuff is limited! There just isn't the room for it and I personally don't feel that's a bad thing, my only regret is that my kids don't really have a place of solitude if they really needed it. (Luckily we haven't needed it too much up to date but I can feel that need might be coming on the horizon...) Overall I'm a firm believer in sharing rooms my questions now revolve around how old should both genders share and who should get the lone room when it becomes an option... my only girl? or my oldest son? If anyone has something to share on that point I would appreciate other perspectives.

Sherri - posted on 01/05/2011

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My oldest two 12 & 13 share a room they certainly argue but they honestly go to school together, take the bus together, once home then they have to share a room together. They are only a yr apart so they never ever get a break from one another so obviously they would have more arguments.



I should probably have added some days the arguing is pure hell and you can't just say go to your room because that is sticking them both together again. So we have had to be inventive and I would say 85% of the time actually it is great and I will find them playing video games together or playing a game together. It really isn't all that bad.

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Valerie - posted on 01/18/2011

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My kids have always shared rooms but my 11 year old desperately wants her own room. They fight, the 9 yr old will make a mess and not clean it and it drives my 11 yr old crazy.
I think it may be hard for you to put them together now after they have had their own rooms. It will get to the point that your 5 yr old will want his own space. If you have another boy then you can put the baby with the two yr old.

Cat - posted on 01/18/2011

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I have 3 kids (girl 10, boy 8, girl 6) and even though they have their own rooms that they decorated, I still find them in each others rooms. Especially my younger 2. My oldest not as much now but occasionally I see her in bed snuggling with her sister. Which is usually because the youngest gets scared and big sister is there to protect her. I think with your boys so young they wouldn't mind as much being in the same room. If you are going to combine them, I would do it sooner rather than later. The older they get the harder they will fight it. Good luck!

Fay - posted on 01/18/2011

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yes , my 3yr old and 5yr old share a room ,and have done so for the last yr . It made it easier to put them to bed , because there is always someone there if they wake up in the middle of the night,.when my 3 yr old wakes up and is scared , i tell her it is ok mommie and daddy are home and big brother is in the room with you. it helps and she goes back to sleep without having to come to our bed.We also took out the tv and when we put them to bed at 8pm they usually are sleep between 8:15, 8:30 the latest

Denise - posted on 01/18/2011

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We have a two year old and an eight year old daughter that share a room. We live in a three bedroom but have chose to have them share to develop a closeness that they might not have otherwise. There is some fussing at bedtime but it works well for us.

Gertrude - posted on 01/18/2011

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My daughter 11 n son 9 share a room with 2 single beds n they have their separate cupboards. It works out very well as they play n talk before sleeping. As my daughter is older n is shy about the changes in her body my son respects her privacy n will go upstairs to take his shower only after she has dressed n comes downstairs. Of course we will convert the guest bedroom when my daughter reaches puberty as they will need their own space then.

ROSEMARY - posted on 01/18/2011

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Sharing is good for them, they will get over the arguing.it will be good for them

Joleen - posted on 01/18/2011

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Oh, and I am one of 4 girls. I shared a room until I was 8 and hated it. Once I got my own room it was great. My two younger sistser had to share a room until they were 15 & 17. They also hated it. One would always make a mess, this one stole that from the other one.
They still live with our parents, though they don't share a room anymore they still fight about everything... like if someone's sweater gets put into the wrong room is it an all out war.

Joleen - posted on 01/18/2011

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My daughters are 20 months apart. The oldest is about to turn 5. Ever since the younger one could walk they have been fighting about... well everything. I only have a 2 bedroom condo, so there's not much I can do. We are looking at 3+ bedrooms for houses just so we can keep them apart.

Louann - posted on 01/18/2011

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i have 2 boys 12 & 5 who share a room, and i can say they get along pretty well, but now i just took custody of 2 girls 13 & 14 and all 4 are in 1 room, needless too say that's not working out too well..lol def looking for anothe appartment.

Kimberly - posted on 01/18/2011

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We just moved our five and three year old boys into one room from their own room because we had one on the way. One of ours is a "needs my own space" kind, so we were worried. We went bunk bed shopping and they started to get excited. When it came time, the biggest argument was over who would sleep on the top bunk, but that was simply solved after a day. I think they actually like sharing the room... There are some drawbacks like when the three year old wakes the kindergartener (who can't take a nap b/ c of school) up or we'd like to send them to their room to calm down... But, over all it's gone a WHOLE lot better than we thought it would... We almost did not do it b/c we have the extra room... I am sure there will come a time when we'll separate them again, but for now I think it actually kind if bonds them. :). And, after two boys, I just delivered a baby girl!!

Ann - posted on 01/18/2011

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My two older girls share a room, and they love it. They have shared since they were about 3 & 5 years old and now they are 7 & 10. We have rearranged things over the years to give them each a little more "personal space", but it has never been a problem. In fact, we gather in their room every evening for family/nightly prayer time, and it makes it feel special for them both. I think you can make it work...and I definitely wouldn't let that keep me from having another child if I wanted another one! Best wishes!

Tiffany - posted on 01/18/2011

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yes my two and 4 yr old share a room and 8 yrs old he shares a room with his older brother

Deborah - posted on 01/18/2011

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I have two girls aged 9 and 4 and they have seperate rooms although they both often ask to share i think that they should each have their own space especially if they`re of different sexes if it is viable,your daughter won`t stay young forever and will grow up and need her own privacy!

Karen - posted on 01/18/2011

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MY 11yr old and 4yr old boys share and its a nightmare, as the younger one makes more mess than the older one, and he doesnt see why he should tidy up a mess that he didnt make, it plays havoc at bedtime as the younger ones to bed earlier and this means my 11yr old cant do anything in his room, incase he wakes him up. My daughter thinks its great as she can tell them to get out of her room as she has her own room and the boys cant say that to each other as its both their room.

Tiffany - posted on 01/18/2011

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My kids share a room.. at the time.. I have a 2yr old that is about to be 3 on the 20th of jan. and a 4 yr old lil girl that will be 5yr on aug 9th... they have a trundle bed that they sleep on and they do great .. We have 2 living rooms so therefore the kids play in the the room and living room when they cant go outside. They do rather well.. kids are going to be kids regaurdless.. but I do think when they get about 8 and 10 they need to get their own rooms for their own privacy of their things ya know.. i know i was the same way with my sister !!

Kathleen - posted on 01/18/2011

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my boys shared a room until they were 11 and 13, and only because we needed a bigger bed for the 13 year old did we seperate them. We had an extra room. If yo think the kids will fight and argue that is a good reason to keep them together, teach them to share, respect each other and get along. Don't spoil them to make it easier on you,their future teachers and bosses wont!

Donna - posted on 01/18/2011

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I have a 13,10,8 all girls that have been sharing a bedroom since birth, they fight but they also have had to learn to communicate because they all sleep in double bunk beds, when questioned why they are not in separate rooms I have always responded that they have to learn to get along with others ...this actually goes back to their grandmother that shared a room and bed with 2 other sisters until they moved away to college just does'nt sound normal huh, but look at the way society and our morals are today. Not 1 time have my girls ever wanted to be separated it is other people that have questioned ....

Misty - posted on 01/18/2011

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I have a 12 yr old girl and 2 boys, 10 and 7 in a 3 bdrm. The boys have had separate bedrooms in the past and always ended up in the same room. Right now, they share a room with bunkbeds and are even on the same bed! They fight just like always but when it comes time to go to bed they are normally fine. I think they would do just fine! :)

Aija-leena - posted on 01/18/2011

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For us it's been a very good experience. We have 3 girls aged 7,5 & 3 sharing a room and it works really well. Of course they are fighting sometimes but that it just normal part of life. Most of the time they get along just fine and it gives them comfort of not having to sleep alone yet.

Jenny - posted on 01/18/2011

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My children, a daughter, now age 11 and a son, now age 9, have shared a room all the way up until this year. They have been the best of friends and enjoy talking to each other before they go to sleep. Many nights we heard them giggling to themselves in their room. We also used to play books on CD for them after my husband read to them and we tucked them both in. They would fall asleep to the story (they loved Harry Potter and the Fablehaven books). We had tried many times over the years to separate them to their own rooms thinking our daughter would like her own room but after a few nights one or the other would go "camp out" next to the other ones bed and sleep on the floor like that until we put their beds back in the same room. Now that our daughter is 11 she wants her own room for privacy but with 2 boys it should be pretty easy. I would just make sure they each had their own little area to play with their own things and divide the room up a bit for each. You could try the books on CD as something they could both do together to help them not fight. Or an MP3 player with speakers with children's books downloaded from Audible.com which is really cheap. Good luck with your kiddos. I think sharing a room made my kids more connected. Like I said, they are each others best friend, not to bad for a boy and girl 2 years apart.

Sarah - posted on 01/18/2011

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Hi I have 2 boys age 4 and 6 and I'm sorry to tell you that, although they don't fight all the time, they stay awake longer at night. They keep each other awake and mess about. I wish I had an extra room.

Martie - posted on 01/18/2011

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Hi
My eldest son is 5 years old and his little brother is approaching 2 years. They are sharing a room. My eldest son wanted to sleep in the same room where his younger brother sleeps so they've been sharing a room since about September of last year. We don't have any problems with the current arrangement.

Jung-hwa - posted on 01/18/2011

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My 10 year old and 6 year old started sharing a room when my third child was born 3 years ago and even though they have a double bunk bed they sleep together on the lower bunk. I've asked several times-especially to my eldest one-if he would like his own room but he still wants to be with his brother. My younger boy has hard time falling asleep when his big brother is away on a camp or sleep over. They have similar interests-lego, bey blades, etc...and like to play Wii, DS together so even if they had seperate rooms, they would be in the same room most of the time. Also, they go to school which means they are away from each other all day and that probably makes it easy for them to share a room. I also have two girls and my older girl is already asking when she can share a room with her baby sister.

Jenny - posted on 01/18/2011

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I have a daughter aged 6 and a son aged 10 and they are growing up together in a shared bedroom. Instead of arguing and fighting they love that they share a room, they play together and the most funny part in their everyday is when just before sleeping, they tell each other stories about their friends, their school, their "worries"... I think that as of this year (latest this summmer) they should have each their own bedroom (and they will) but until now and for the last 6 years that they are sharing bedroom, it has only been great for both of them (they take care, respect and love each other a lot). So, I think that you won't have any problem. May when you become pregant (happily) you can start having them share the room, at first during sleep, and then during day time... make it as a play... get them involved in making the room for the new baby... something like that

Sharon - posted on 01/18/2011

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Hi there, I also live in a 3 bedroom house but i have four kids my 16 & 15 yr old boys and my 7 & 4yr old girls share, they have their moments when they wish they didn't share but by the end of the night they don't mind it. my boys have shared a room all their lives so they will enjoy it til they get ready to move out of home.

Amy - posted on 01/18/2011

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We live in a 2 bedroomed house with a 3 year old daughter and a 1 year old son. We'd love to have a 3rd bedroom but can't as yet afford to either move or alter our home. Our son is inquisitive but does get upset when his sister takes things off him particularly if it's his things she is snatching away and our daughter says it's her room and her things so I do predict trouble!

Dawn - posted on 01/18/2011

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I have 3 girls 11,7,and4 and the 2 oldest sleep in the same room they fight almost everyday but in the end even though they have there own beds they sleep together everynight

Toni-Anne - posted on 01/18/2011

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I have a 2yrs little boy and a 4yrs little girl and they have to share a room that isn't even big enough to put 2 single beds in but the council will not move us till my daughter is 10yrs old but if we went private they wouldn't help us with the cost of a private, so we have to put up with our little boy waking up at 4:30am who wakes my 4yr old up which isn't fair on her so I'm not liking the idea of kids sharing but then again some people may not have problems with sharing

Rosslyn - posted on 01/17/2011

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I have two boys aged 6 & 4, they have been shaping a room since the youngest was born, their can be fighting but if you lay down some simple rules it makes it easier for them to adapt!

Jeri - posted on 01/17/2011

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My kids dont share, but that's because one is scared of the dark, and one wont sleep unless it's pitch black. But I'm the 2nd oldest of 9 in my family, and 6 of us are girls. Us girls ALL shared a small room when I was in high school, money was tight, and they ranged from me (then 17) to 1yr old. We had alot of trouble with it at first, but being stuck together like that made us fight a little more, but also made us learn new things we all loved to do. We grew ALOT closer. If I was in your shoes, I'd ask the 5 yr old how he'd feel about sharing a room, and if he's be willing to help you out by doing so, so he could have a new brother or sister. Just tell him you need his help with the 2 yr old, because new babies wake up and cry all night. Sharing a room isnt a bad idea just because they'll argue, it may get bumpy for a bit, but they will end up depending on each other more in the long run.

Ольга - posted on 01/17/2011

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My two sons are 7 and 9.they share a room from their birth.they live friendly but time from time they ask to have separate rooms.

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Hi - I have 4 year old twin girls who share a room & it is fantastic. The 1st few days are a nightmare because they think it is such an adventure, but once the novelty wears off, it is quite fine. We sometimes had to use the " 1 of you will have to go to sleep in mummy's bed" threat if they were talking & then transfer that 1 back when they were asleep. They are now 4 & going to bed is the easiest process.......Mine are the same age though, so I suppose that may make a difference. Maybe you would be better putting your 2 year old with the baby & keeping the 5 year old on his own.....Although if you aren't pregnant yet, I suppose that may not work. Basically, as they get older, it will be easier & I would never NOT have another baby because they may have to share a room. Go for it !!!!
I know plenty of people who have kids share rooms even if there is a spare room in the house becuase it just works so well. Good luck

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My two boys are were 2 and 5 when they ASKED me to go into the same room. They do fight (all the time it feels like) but they are never apart, by choice. They seem to sleep better and rely on each for comfort when in the same room. They also get up to a lot of mischief, which is quite cute!! They each have their own rooms but we never use the other now and it's great for us cause now we have a "guest" room:) Give it a bash, they'll prob love it. Just prepare yourself for the initial excitement of it all so there may be a bit of giggling, chatting, playing and mischief in the beginning. Good luck

V. Renee - posted on 01/17/2011

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They didn't at first, then my oldest son (6 y) decided he wanted his bed in with my youngest (3 y). My youngest son was the one that could have stayed in his own room! It is easier at night when reading, praying, etc.. And I'm sure they will let me know when they want to change back to their own individual rooms. Good luck!

Margie - posted on 01/17/2011

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My 5 y/o and 3y/o boys have shared since the younger was about 18months. I find it mostly easier with putting them to bed because I can reason with 5 and 3 wants to copy. They'll fight pretty much the same amount I think.The only draw back is that sometimes they play when they should be sleeping. Bonus is when they wake up early they're more likely to stay in their room and play instead of coming to find parents to bother. Good luck :)

Doris - posted on 01/17/2011

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When my sons were younger they shared a room, the oldest had his own. I think that made them closer as brothers, because at nights they told themselves stories or whatever. Although they did fight over who keeps the room cleaner and who picked up already, it was great. My two daughters are too far apart in ages so that they did not enjoy that closeness, but can't do anything about it. I say go for it, you will see it works just fine.

Kate - posted on 01/17/2011

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Hey there,
my twin girls shared a room by choice until they were 4 1/2 they have now seperated (2 weeks ago) and we are finding they go to sleep better now.

Other than that they fought less sharing a room than they did now.
Also they enjoy each other a little more now as they have breathing space. But its a bit of both, one of them doesn't sleep well without her sister the other sleeps better now.
Good Luck either way.

Kate

Sherrie - posted on 01/17/2011

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I have a 9 yr old son and a 14 yr old daughter. While we have three bedrooms, only two are big enough to be actual bedrooms. UGH!!! The two of them actually share a room by choice. They do argue at times, but other than at bedtime, my daughter usually gets the room to herself. She doesn't mind changing in the bathroom, and when she wants to change in her room her brother is very respectful of her privacy. I got really luck that even though they do fight on occasion, (and believe me, sometimes I want to sell them to the zoo!) they understand that because our house is small we have to share the space we have. He doesn't mess with her "girly" stuff and she wouldn't touch his stuff if you paid her!! ha! ha!. I think it's alright to share a room if you can teach them to respect each other's space.

Amy - posted on 01/17/2011

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I think the ages and personalities of the children play a BIG part in the outcome of this situation. I have two daughters who are 15 months apart (currently 10 and 11yo). they have always shared a room. The personalities are as opposite as they can be. Although they often do things together and get along well, the older daughter had begun, in the last couple of years to resent sharing the room. We don't have the ability at this time to separate them. I therefore have to keep them together. I am using this time as a lesson about entitlement for the 11 year old (Life doesn't always hand us what we want and we need to appreciate what we have.) When my oldest moves out, we'll see what happens. :O

Alena - posted on 01/17/2011

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I have 2 sons 5 & 8. They have been sharing a room together since they were 1 & 4. I believe them sharing a room together has created a tighter bond between the 2 of them. Of a night they lay in bed before going to sleep and have some fantastic conversations. I find that they're happy to share more when they're in their room together because its a shared environment its not my room or my stuff its our room and our stuff. Yes, they too fight in typical brother fashion, that'll happen in a shared room or a 10 bedroom house but I find it to brings them more together than creating conflict. They also take better care of those few individual things that are theirs, making sure that its placed away properly instead of being left for the other to use. Nothing but positive things to say on this matter....hope it helps :)

Joanne - posted on 01/17/2011

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I have six kids and they share 2 to a room... funny thing is even when they have had their own rooms i was constantly finding them sharing beds or the older kids carrying a sibling in to sleep with them. Kids will fight wether they have their own room or not...then you get the he has his foot in my room etc

Elizabeth - posted on 01/17/2011

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I two boys and two girls. All of them have shared a room from one time or another. Sharing a room has taught them how to be considerate of each other, and how to work things out when they wasn't getting along. I think they are closer for it.

Angela - posted on 01/17/2011

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i do. my oldest son allen is 11 fixing to be 12 yrs. on feb 3, and phiilip just turned 6 yrs in dec. they share a room and they have thier moments. but it has brought them closer. allen has adhd and aspergers and phillip has classic autism. hope this helps.

Anna Maria - posted on 01/17/2011

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Sharing a room will involve fighting, but it also teaches a child how to communicate their needs, solve problems, share, and, best of all, it creates comradery...

Info - posted on 01/17/2011

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After reading everyone's posts, I too agree, that you do learn to deal better with each other and learn to respect each others space and things more when you share. Plus, two girls together, even though they are 8 years apart, is SO nice....I am so glad they have this time to share with one another. Good luck again!

Info - posted on 01/17/2011

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We live in a small 3 bedroom and we have three children. Our middle, a son sleeps in a room alone. Our two daughters although there is a HUGE age gap, share a room. Our oldest is 10 and our baby is 2. But, they are fine together, surprisingly. Would I rather have four bedrooms? Absolutely! But, I am still happy to have three children too! :) Good luck and I think a 2 and 5 year old together would not be too bad, by the time you would have another anyway (the earliest) they would be 3 and 6 and that is not too bad.

Nathalie - posted on 01/17/2011

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I have 3 children. 2 boys (3 &11) as well as an 11 month old girl.. Well it's not always easy. I must make a safe area for his valuables like is DS, computer and MARKERS!! So I have made a safe spot high in the closet. What can you do... If you look at the passed they were many in the same room as well as in the same bed.. Times are getting tighter when it comes to money and well just the cost of living is nuts.. So I guess we have desides to move into a limestone home with 3 bedrooms and we will make it work!! Such as life.... If it worked in the passed it will work in the future... I hope this helps a bit..

Karen - posted on 01/17/2011

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I have 7 children and through the years they have all shared rooms. Switching bedrooms partners at different times. I think it was good for the kids to do this. They have learned respect for one another, and their things. Will they ever fight? sure! But don't think that separate rooms will stop that, lol. They will also learn to love, respect, and care for their siblings. I think its a shame that so many kids today have everything and never know what its like to share a space.

Jennifer - posted on 01/17/2011

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Boys will be boys. My boys share a room and love it. There are times when they do fight but normally they don't. They said from the get go that everything belongs to both of them.

Lavínia - posted on 01/17/2011

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My son, 3 years share a dedroom with his grangmother just becouse he likes to sleep with her company and atencion. We share a room. Nowadays i`m sleeping alone. I prefer to think they`re exchanging love and don´t strees me, anymore.

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